A boy stood at a time machine. He had screwed something up. Or maybe he hadn't. In any case, he was looking straight at... himself. The machine's mechanisms were confusing. But, his friend had sent him here for a reason.
"Get out of here!" he yelled to the replica of himself standing in the materialising port. When the replica looked confused, the boy pulled him out of the port and shoved him toward the 5 other versions of himself standing in the corner.
Somewhere 25 years in the past, an alarm went off somewhere in a young girl's room. Stretching, the girl mashed in the "off" button and rolled out of bed. After changing into something more appropriate for us to view her in, she stood conveniently in the centre of her room so we could examine her likes and interests.
She was currently working on an embroidery for her mom - Christmas was coming up soon.
This young girl's name was Motus Anderson, and she respectfully asked everyone to get the cool shoe shine. She had no idea why that thought had come into her head. Her brother was playing Gorillaz downstairs. Wait, what? I said, her brother was playing Gorillaz downstairs. Stop arguing with the narrator.
In any case, Motus popped her head back into her room to check the time. 9:34? And her brother was awake? Finally, someone let him out of his cage. Time for him is nothing, cause he's counting no age. SHE NEEDED TO STOP THIS. She needed to keep a mild groove on. SWEET MOTHER GRUB'S OOZING VESTIGIAL THIRD ORAL SPHINCTER!
She decided to stop quoting Gorillaz songs and start eating some breakfast. "Crunchitize me, Cap'n!" she chanted as she poured herself a bowl of Captain Crunch.
"So I wwalk down to the ocean and I see Fef and she's all like, 'mm...glub!', and I'm all like, 'yeah wwhatevver!'" said Mountain, with his mouth full of Cocoa Puffs. Motus rolled her eyes. Suddenly, a four-chime alert noise from her room carried downstairs. Someone was trying to reach her via Pesterchum!
justanotherCooldude [JC] began pestering steampunkGirly [SG] at 09:35.
It was John! She eagerly read the message.
JC: hey motus JC: so JC: i know you're probably already having your mom drop you off at the dance JC: but i was wondering JC: do you want to go with me?
What? YES! YES x2 COMBO!
SG: yeah sure john SG: that seems fun!
JC: that's cool then JC: i'll pick you up at six SG: okay, see you then!
She walked away from her computer feeling a lot happier than when she'd walked up. "Mom!" she called downstairs.
"What, Mot?"
"I'm going to the dance with John, so you don't have to drive me!"
"Sounds good, honey!"
The Pesterchum alert rang again, but this time it was Motus' über-awesome friend, Sarah.
pureAwesomeness [PA] began pestering steampunkGirly [SG] at 09:38.
PA: i will force you to read GameBro magazine reviews at random SG: what?
PA: So ok. Legend of Zelda is this game that a lot of cats seem hella pumped of. And this beta is sitting on my desk for review, so I'm like, yeah man I'll write something. But I don't know. I'm like, so is this about elves or some noise? That's fine, I'm sure that's like friggin' dynamite in a handbag for some brosephs. But all I'm saying is, when do you get to thrash anything? While you're playing fairy tale or some crap, are you ever in jeopardy of getting mud on your doll's dress or whatever from busting out, and I quote, "the mad stunts all wicked up-ins"? Know what I'm saying, Bro-Yo Ma? I didn't actually play this game, but I gave it 1.5 hats out of 5 hats to keep it real. At this point I'd like to give a shout out to my boy Dennis who was over the other day. We were going to chill in front of the Dark Knight and he was so psyched of it y'all. So this one time he was leaning against the screen door and the crap popped open, and the back deck was wet and he slipped down the steps and broke his thumb on the lawn. It wasn't a long fall, but hey I guess a thumb bone wasn't meant for supporting the brunt of a huge useless tool against wet grass. We never did watch Dark Knight on account of Ron trucking his bawling candy-butt girth to the hospital. But it's cool, I still got another watch in me, Brotel Rwanda. BRO-NOTES: Dennis was SO wasted, ha ha. I mean DAMN. Rating for Legend Of Zelda: 1.5 hats.
SG: um, that's nice sarah, but I kinda have more important news SG: and legend of zelda came out like 3 years ago PA: wats the news!?
SG: john asked me to the dance PA: wadya say wadya say wadya say wadya say SG: yes PA: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH :D SG: he's coming at six PA: tell me how it goes SG: i wouldn't need to if you would just COME TO A DANCE PA: imagine my mom and say that same sentence SG: i wouldn't need to if SG: yeah i can't do it PA: speak o the devil PA: gotta go SG: okay pureAwesomeness [PA] ceased pestering steampunkGirly [SG] at 09:40.
They did the bump. Motus wasn't sure exactly who did the bump, but she took a moment to honour them anyway.
She walked back downstairs and pulled out her iPad. 12 new emails from Sarah. Man, this girl wouldn't leave her alone. She wouldn't give her a single minute to herself. None of the minutes.
Speaking of Sarah, Motus decided that she'd better watch corpse bride. Again. Good Lord, that movie was the bomb. Jubiliciously wasn't a word, but who really cared anyway. Will Smith, that's who.
Will Smith remainder her of rap music, so Motus ate a banana. Her brother made weird cow noises on the couch. Pesterchum was dinging again. She sighed. None of the minutes.
About the same time that Motus' alarm went off, a young man Kikked a message to his friend.
HEY, MAN. SHOULD I ASK MOTUS TO THE DANCE?
His friend replied.
I'M PLAYING A VIDEO GAME. WHAT THE SMUCK DO YOU WANT?
This young boy's name was John Duda. He also conveniently stood in his room so we could examine his likes and interests. The room was a bright orange room with pellet guns scattered everywhere. Knives and swords hung on the walls. His iPod was on his desk, running Kik Messenger, alongside his computer, which was running Pesterchum. John replied to Brady's text.
I ASKED YOU IF I SHOULD ASK MOTUS TO THE DANCE.
It took a while for Brady to respond.
SORRY, PRETTY HARD-CORE VIDEO GAME. YEAH BRAH, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT.
OKAY, I WILL. LATER. John texted back. He sighed and then sat on his bed and read for the next 3 hours.
Somewhere in SARAH'S ROOM, where this fanfiction is being composed, Sarah sat on her bed and looked at the time. It was 12:27 AM. Sigh. Welp, this fanfiction was a pretty big deal, and since the rough draft had included something about fishnet leggings, it was safe to assume that she was making great progress. But seriously, her arms were getting tired from holding her iPod in front of her while she was lying on her back, and her thumbs were cramped. She shook her head, ashamed. She hadn't been able to finish the story, but there was always the next day after church. So, she went to bed.
John woke up from an hour-long siesta. He really took a nap, but it seemed more manly to call it a siesta. He checked the time. 5:30. Perfect. He put on a tuxedo that he had rented and walked to his desk to pester Motus.
justanotherCooldude [JC] began pestering steampunkGirly [SG] at 17:37.
JC: motus SG: john JC: so SG: so JC: um, i know it's a little early, but are you ready, by any chance?
SG: hon, I've been ready for about an hour JC: great, I'll be over soon SG: k!
steampunkGirly [SG] ceased pestering justanotherCooldude [JC] at 17:40.
John walked downstairs to tell his mom to start the car.
Motus glued the leather to the soles. Her mama had said to slow down, she must make her own shoes. So she was. Or maybe that had been 2D's mama. Either way, it was fun.
Three hours in the future, a middle-aged man wearing a black hoodie sat on a crate in the middle of a warehouse. His partner seemed unfit for the job, taking into consideration that his partner was 12 years old and wearing a St. Anne's uniform.
"God, Smith, how many times have I told you to come prepared?" the older man asked, and the younger hung his head shamefully. "You can't move around in this crap!"
"Sorry master, but I didn't have time to change after school!" the older man shook his head. "Just keep lookout." So the younger boy, the one called Smith, ran off to where his bike was parked outside. He mounted and slowly pedalled out of the alleyway, where he made a left turn and continued faster. 5 minutes later, he was walking his bike up to the bike rack outside of Bethlehem Catholic High School. Pesterchum was acting up. He pulled out his iPod.
whymustiTellyou [WT] began pestering minecraftMinecraft [MM] at 20:27
WT: are you there yet?
MM: yup. I just got here.
WT: you're late WT: I entered the gymnasium 10 minutes ago.
MM:... holy...!
MM: how'd you get here so fast?!
MM: I didn't even see your car pass by me!
WT: in any case, the deal won't go down tonight after all.
MM: why?
WT: it looks like the gym is set up for some sort of...
MM: dance?
WT: you mean to tell me you had knowledge of this event and you did not tell me?!
MM: I swear I only just remembered now!
WT: there will be consequences.
WT: wait WT: the parent teacher conferences were on the school's website WT: but the dance was not WT: almost like a REALLY GOOD HACKER took them off the page WT: so I couldn't see it.
Smith glanced at the door nervously, the one he would have been guarding if the dance hadn't taken place. To think, the entrance hall, and down a few hallways, his master would be onto him in no time. He quickly typed something that would get his master confused, at least for the time being.
MM: nic cage's performance in con air was fairly good. I mean, the bunny line I drop on everyone everyday, but do you think, that with will smiths capability to hack computers, that noodle from Gorillaz could've done this?
What the... The man in the black hoodie stared at the text. He had a weird godson. Wait. Where was his godson at the moment?
We'll call the man in the the black hoodie HoodieMan. What's that? Too ornery? Fine, Carl? Sure. Anyway, Carl ripped open the door to the outside of the school. Smith wasn't there. "ERRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC-
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!" Carl yelled into the night. A janitor stared, so he quickly retreated back inside, with a "Oh, thank God at least you're on duty. 5 janitors have just walked out tonight alone! That stupid Eric..."
Eric heard the yell. "ERRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC-
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!" Eric pedalled faster than he had ever pedalled in his life.
In any case, it didn't look like he was going to get away. That is, until John's mom pulled up, coming back from the school. "Eric?" she asked. "Do you need a ride home?"
He tried to disguise a quick glance behind him. "Sure, Mrs. Duda. I have to get to my house in five minutes." Eric left his bike just sitting there in the dirt and got into her car. You idiot! Didn't your mother ever teach you to avoid getting into other people's cars?
I know, you're probably all like, "Shut up, you're the narrator; Eric is the focus right now, ya idjit." Well, I'm sorry, reader, are you getting upset with the narration? Is my occasional opinion interjection bothering you? I can stop writing this fanfiction right now, leave you hanging right there on the edge of your seat, never again to know who the boy with the time machine is, or where Motus and John are. Because, if you haven't picked up on it, Mrs, Duda, who is their transportation, is heading back from the school, indicating that she already dropped the kids off, back where Carl was yelling for Eric. But I'm nice, so...
About an hour in the past, Sarah sat in her room, fooling around with her computer. There was a little female dog that wouldn't leave her alone. She/he was saying something about being able to contact people from the past and future via Pesterchum. Pff. Haha. She decided to try it. According to the "timeline" feature of Pesterchum, she was in the past.
PAST pureAwesomeness [PPA] 0:12HOURS AGO opened public transtimeline bulletin board DOES THIS THING WORK.
PPA 0:12 HOURS AGO opened memo on board DOES THIS THING WORK.
PPA: ok i think i set this up right.
PPA: so you can evidently contact people from the future with this thing.
PPA: haha, anyone?
PPA: didn't think so.
PPA: anyway, maybe, and this is just a theory, but maybe this doesn't actually contact people from the past and/or future, but it's found in the future.
PPA: like 20 years from now i'll be sitting at my computer, and then i'll read this memo that i that i wrote that's about contacting people from the future, and then respond to it.
PPA: so idk.
CURRENT steampunkGirly [CSG] responded to memo.
CSG: haha, who is this?
CSG: is this sarah?
CSG: or just a random doodfus that's bored?
CSG blocked all memo notifications.
PPA: no wait motus, come back!
PPA: huh.
PPA: this transtimeline junk is stupid.
PPA closed memo.
PPA 0:03 HOURS AGO opened memo on board DOES THIS THING WORK.
PPA: okay i don't think this crap works.