Author's Note: Wow! Into the Deep actually forced me to ship Sleeping Warrior, because it forcibly put this fic in my head. It's just a three-shot. Hope you enjoy!
Content note: There's a passage in here about Mulan's homeland. I'm not trying to imply anything about actual Chinese culture, and clearly, Mulan isn't actually from China, any more than Snow White is from Bavaria. She's from some sort of FTL version of Asia. Therefore, the culture described is not a real one, so while you may get offended all you like for the Mulanese people, please realize I'm not intended to defame any real peoples or cultures. Thanks.
Chapter One: Warrior
She sat near the fire, relishing being able to let it warm after coming off guard duty. One couldn't damage their night vision with firelight, after all. You'd never be able to see an approaching threat in the shadows. It was strange. All her life, she had been fighting to be treated equally to any other warrior on the battlefield, and while she'd largely succeeded - she was respected and feared alike - she still saw many men fall on swords meant for her than any non-royal man would in a lifetime. And while she respected the nobility behind the gesture, it frustrated her that they should take away her chance at a warrior's noble death. So, now that she was fighting with none but women at her side was she angry with them treating her like any male guard and guide would?
Because they're still taking away her chances to die a hero's, she realized. But not because they were trying to protect the woman on the battlefield. It was because they were heroes in their own right.
Well, except for one.
Her eyes flitted over to Aurora and she was surprised to see the other woman already looking at her. Not surprised that she wasn't sleeping, of course, just that she wasn't feigning it as she usually did. The young princess offered her a small smile, which she found herself returning more frequently now. This was the woman she was sworn to protect with her word... and, it seems the fates would deem it, her heart. Despite what her head was saying, she'd actually grown fond of the spoiled little princess. Her charge. Her princess.
Also, apparently a hero in her own right after all.
But she was a hero of the heart. Just as brave as any of them, though she couldn't wield a blade - even that blonde peasant princess from the other land was naturally better and learned faster. Aurora was the traditional hero the people expected in a future queen. A princess pure of heart, brave of spirit, and her prince's to take care of. In other words, not a Snow White. Not that the queen wasn't the first two, but she was also a warrior. One of the few that gave her pause, in fact.
Aurora needed a sword by her side, and because of her vow to Phillip, Mulan would always be that sword, even when the girl didn't want it. Because while the princess may have been Phillip's true love, he was Mulan's. And so, in some way, did that not make the girl Mulan's true love as well? If the man she cherished loved the woman so much, there had to be something there that Mulan would love too. It turned out that had truly been the case.
She had known she was getting fond of her charge, but not just how fond until Snow began comforting the girl after bad dreams. The jealousy that flared up when she saw Aurora's head resting in her lap had been a complete blind side. She doesn't get sneak-attacked more than once by anything or one, though. Now, she's used to its burn every time Aurora calls for Snow, or takes comfort in her arms. But she's still perplexed by it.
If she cares for her friend, and she does, shouldn't she be happy that the girl is being made to feel comfortable, no matter the source? So why was she jealous? If anyone is to protect the princess, it should be her, is why. That was her vow to her princess. Is she needy for attention? Her lip curled in disgust at labeling herself with such disgusting. No. That was not her.
The jealousy reminded Mulan of the shame she felt for feeling exactly the same whenever Phillip's eyes would unfocus as he spoke of Aurora. Only it couldn't be that. The shame felt different this time, anyway, so clearly it wasn't the same kind of jealousy. The shame with Phillip was about wishing that Phillip had found her first; not some spoiled princess who gets anything she could desire and had her whole life. Now... now the shame was... she wasn't sure. She wasn't ashamed at herself for wishing Snow White had never come through the portal. If they had a genie, the former queen and herself would both wish for that very thing. Now, she was simply ashamed of letting herself feel such affection for the girl.
The woman.
Her eyes suddenly widened and she blinked in shock for a few seconds. She didn't want to be Aurora's protector - she wanted to be her prince. Her eyes snapped to the princess by reflex and her heart nearly stopped when she realized the woman was still watching her. Gazing at her, maybe? No, it was a foolish thought. So why did the thought make Mulan's heart flutter? Because all sorts of impossible things were delightful, of course.
But why was the thought so delightful? She had never felt such things for a woman before. There had been Shang, and Phillip, and a number of boys when she was still a girl, barely able to hold up a sword. But then, there had been no Aurora before. The girls she grew up with were empty-headed little things, more concerned with being pretty than being able to protect themselves. Later, those same girls, and the women that had grown up the same, just as the people of her land desired, met their fates at the end of a blade during a barbaric left Mulan the only survivor in her village, and after that, travelling with soldiers she only knew crass barmaids, and desperate prostitutes.
Perhaps Aurora was not unusual for a princess; she hadn't met a wide range. Snow White and the should-have-been princess, Emma, were brave and loyal, intelligent and kind, just like Aurora. But, they were also warriors much like herself. They didn't need their prince and his blade to come to the rescue. But Aurora... she needed a sword by her side. She always would, for the fights she could win were ones of will and heart, not steel. She needed Mulan, and Mulan needed her. She was the one who could make her the hero she wanted to be; to make the noble sacrifice, and the miraculous victory only possible because she had someone not something.
"Is something wrong, Mulan?" asked Aurora's voice as it sliced into her contemplations like the finest samurai sword.
Although it had surely been less than thirty seconds, she realized she hadn't taken her eyes from the other woman's. The firelight danced and glittered in the princess' most beautiful emeralds, framed by a worried faced. Mulan shook her head, as if waking from a dream. "Yes - I mean - no. I was simply thinking. Why do you ask?"
"You looked shocked, and then frowned, as if confused." She tilted her head to one side. "Do I confuse you?" she joked.
'More than anything, Princess,' thought Mulan, but shook her head. "Only how you manage to traverse the woods in that dress," she replied.
"I'm sure I make it harder than it looks."
"An unlikely possibility," she teased.
The corners of Aurora's eyes crinkled at the jest in that way so adorable to Mulan - and, realized, probably only adorable to her. She doubted Snow or Emma had noticed it. She bet Phillip had, though.
Aurora patted the open space beside her in the lean-to tent. "Perhaps you would like to join me and pull up your bedroll?"
Never had an offer been more tempting and terrible after her realization mere minutes old. "Uhh... no thank you. The fire is nice and I am chilled to my bones."
Aurora furrowed her brow, almost into a pout. "Please? The nightmares are still frightening, even though I am awake in them." She glanced over at Snow, who had her back to the fire, as she was now on watch. "Lay close and I can keep you warm."
'Of that, I have no doubt, milday,' thought Mulan. She swallowed. "If you wish it, I shall do my best to make you feel safe."
Aurora smiled wide and brightly. "Thank you."
Mulan returned with her bedroll a few moments later and laid it out next to the princess' prone form. As she sat, she didn't settle cross legged as was her normal fashion. She was doing exactly what she was afraid she would do: hoping that somehow, this could be more. She couldn't make the move, but she would send out the invitation. Crossed legs wouldn't be inviting Aurora to rest her head in her lap. Mulan also leaned back on her palms, her hand a hairsbreadth away from contacting Aurora's, which lay draped on the blanket. It was maddening. It was exhilarating. It was frightening, and shameful.
That's what that shame in her was. The people of her land saw women as mothers of children, and runners of households. They called females the 'nobler' sex. She had heard the term 'fairer' in this kingdom, and of how princess Snow White had been the 'fairest of them all'. She studied the back of the woman standing guard and wondered if fairer meant the same here as it had in her land, but it seemed doubtful. The fairest woman was the one with beauty of heart and mind, and gentler than the fog wafting across your skin. The fairest was soft and certainly did not yell, let alone fight and kill. By the definition of her homeland, Snow White was many of those things, but not all, and certainly wasn't the fairest of them all. Whatever the case, in Mulan's homeland, being the nobler sex meant you put your family before all others, and setting up a home with a woman was shameful. If you household could bear no children, then who do you, both women, care for except yourselves? It was the height of selfishness. Your family line, and all its ancestral honor, wiped away upon your death, making their sacrifices meaningless.
Men of her land, they could fight and protect others, so they were not expected to wed if they didn't want to. A bastard child there did not hold the stigma she has seen in this kingdom and many others. As the bearer of nature's sword, it was expected men needed to sheath it on occasion. And if another man carried the sheath of your choice, there was no shame in it. It was a little strange, just like left-handedness, but if the two men chose it, so be it. They fought to keep their people safe, or worked to produce the things people needed to survive.
There had been a reason she left her homeland. Well, many.
She wondered what this kingdom thought of two women coupled together. She'd heard the jokes, and knew it was a favorite fantasy of many soldiers; it wasn't a matter of revulsion like back home. She'd seen a few barmaids kiss and grope in exchange for little extra gold when the request was made. But given the circles she traveled in, she had not heard of what they thought of women truly pledging to each other. She wanted to ask, but how? She felt like her feelings, though she had just realized them herself, must be shining for the whole world to see. Even a handhold would surely make her feelings laid bare for the whole world to see.
So, left her hand planted close, and her lap flat, hoping and waiting Aurora to offer herself to her.
Suddenly, she felt warm soft skin on her cold, calloused hand and her heart thrummed to life. She looked down, hoping she looked calm, but sure her beating heart was filling her face with blood to blushing across her skin like a blooming rose. She licked her bottom lip as Aurora peered up at her. She didn't dare move, and feared even to speak, should something said move the fiery warm touch from her. She raised a single eyebrow in question.
"Mulan... I was wondering... if you don't mind..." she glanced down shyly, pulling her hand from Mulan's to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Mulan frowned, willing herself to not snatch the hand back into her own. The impulse under control, she did her best to wipe the expression from her face. She didn't want Aurora to think her angry at whatever the request should be.
Aurora looked back up. "Might I rest my head in your lap, like Snow does with me?" Now Mulan was certain the princess must be suffering hearing loss as a result of the curse. How else could she not hear the blood rushing through her veins? Perhaps a bit blind too, to not see the vein in the warrior's neck throbbing. She could feel her pulse beating through her there; it had to be visible. Yes. It would also explain why she was so poor with a bow or sword. She was deafened and her vision going. "I know it's silly, but it is a comfort, and I feel safer..."
"It is my vow," Mulan replied quickly, while also trying to keep her breathing level and normal. "You are my princess, and I am sworn to keep you safe. I will always keep you safe."
The girl looked relieved and delighted as her face lit up at the response. "Thank you, Mulan," she, and gave the woman's arm a squeeze in affection.
As she laid her head in Mulan's lap, sighing contentedly, the warrior did her best not to be caught breathing in her bouquet. She wondered how the woman managed to continue to smell of lilacs and wild sage after so many nights in the forest. Was she rubbing them on herself when washing herself in the morning? She nearly blushed and quickly pushed the thought away, as she felt a warmth spreading from her own flower. Still, she quickly found herself marvelling at the energy the princess' touch could send crackling through her veins. It was almost intoxicating, the tingle, and she was developing quite the craving for it. It was moments like this, feeling so connected and whole when with her that Mulan waited for all day.
"It's a shame you're not a man..." Aurora remarked quietly before shutting her eyes.
Mulan's heart both soared and was crushed. How could a single sentence do both to her at once? She was grateful the princess couldn't see the look of pain that had surely flashed on her face. "Indeed," replied Mulan simply, staring into the fire.
The remark meant somewhere inside her Aurora was having these same confusing feelings, which made her elated. Yet, it also indicated that the princess had no intentions of acting on them. Why make such a remark if that wasn't the case? Besides. Her true love was Phillip. He couldn't have broken the curse if that weren't the case. But then, he had also been Mulan's true love. She didn't need a curse to prove that to herself. So, if she loved her true love's true love, could it be possible that was somehow through when he'd died? Death of your true love didn't condemn one to a loveless life existence, did it? Surely it could be passed on, somehow. Surely children had their parent's true love, so what if that were passed...?
She closed her eyes. No. It was desperation talking. It was foolishness to think about, and would only bring pain if acted upon. She sighed, stroking her princess' hair as she'd seen Snow do, resolving to never speak of her feelings. She would simply be all that Aurora needed her to be, and not ask for anything more, though she knew that now every moment would be more bitter than sweet - especially when Aurora found a new man to fill the void left by Phillip.
It was the honorable sacrifice to make, after all.
Next Time: Sleeping
