It's Happening Again

By: jelliclesoul635

Summary: Demeter's in love and she doesn't know how to feel. Should she be willing? Or should she be reluctant based on the history of her past relationship? Read for yourself and find out! Reviews are immensely appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own CATS.

A/N: I know I have other stories that I should be devoting my time to first, but I figured I might as well write this idea out in story-form before forgetting, so here it is! I hope you enjoy, as well as forgive me for not posting anything new regarding my other works of fiction.

Demeter sits in a secluded area of the Junkyard, gazing up at the bright moon in the sky. She lavishes in the wave of revitalization as the beams of summer moon-light engulf her entire body from whisker to tail. In a total state of thought, she began to wonder…

Could it be? Could this be happening to me all over again? Even after I swore to myself I'd never let my heart be stolen a second time?

I gave my heart out once, to a lover whom I thought, with every ounce of trust I had, would love me just the same, who would share the same respect as I did…

But that wasn't how things turned out to be. Somehow everyone else could see it, they could see the danger in his soul, the evil in his eyes; but I was stupid enough to disregard the warnings of the others around me. I didn't see danger or evil, I saw a genuine ginger-tom, who was crazy yet reserved, wild yet tranquil. He captivated me from the moment I first saw him strutting about the Junkyard. I fell for him like an anvil falls from a cliff…fast and hard. I was so young, too young to know the difference between love and lust.

To think of how confident I was in a love that never existed brings shame to me still. I will forever be haunted by the humiliation he's caused me…or rather…the humiliation I've caused myself…

I never thought they'd accept me into the tribe again, after I left them so abruptly. How could I leave the only felines who ever cared for me…how could I not choose them over that sorry excuse of a cat? But nevertheless, they rescued me. They welcomed me home with eager and hopeful expressions on their faces. And all I could think was, "How could I have ever left this?"

So as I embarked on my agonizing, slow, tumultuous and downright painful road to recovery, I vowed to myself that I'd never allow myself to be so willing. I'd lock up that reckless heart of mine forever, to prevent future torture to myself and to my family.

But that vow…that vow is near impossible to uphold while he exists here, while he patrols these grounds. I can hardly breathe every time he glances in my direction. As he walks passed, he leaves an aura of wisdom and gentleness trailing behind his tail. I don't know what's so suddenly come over me. My heart is pounding against the bars of the cage which I've kept it locked up in. I don't know how much longer it'll be before it finally bursts…

You know, he was the one who originally found me in that damp and lonely cell. I was curled up in the corner, trying to produce as much body-warmth as I could. Of course my efforts were futile, but then I felt a soft paw on my shoulder. I spun around to see his eyes peering at me with confusion, relief and concern all in the same expression. He whispered to me, "Come on, let's go home." And of course I went with him. Although he had to carry me most of the way through the labyrinth that was the lair of the Napoleon of Crime, I was thrilled to finally be leaving this wretched hell. How I longed to go home for the numerous months I'd been held captive there. I couldn't even describe to you how much I yearned to be surrounded by family, by the vastness of the Junkyard and the freedom of being a Jellicle. I tried escaping once, which was what the reason had been for him throwing me down in that dungeon, never to bask in the glorious sunlight again.

I was nervous as a cat could be. I didn't know how the others would react to my return, but as you know, they were all too pleased to have me home again. They all brought such comfort to me.

But now, seven months later, here I am; debating what to do, if it is love I feel for this one silver tabby. I know too well of the risks accompanied by allowing love to fill the soul, body and mind. I'm just not positive I'm indeed prepared to take on that challenge, or if I will ever be ready again. The scars still burn me deep inside and there are wounds that can never be healed, and all because I loved.

He's nothing but kind to me, and he consistently attempts to stir conversation with me as well, but the girl I've grown to be remains hidden within the shadowy sanctuary of my mind. That crimson beast has corrupted me - tainted me - and I doubt there's much that can alter that. I wasn't always a timid, skittish, and quiet feline. There were parts of my life that I can recall where I was joyful, loud and brave. But she's gone, nothing but a figure of the past. This shattered reflection is all I have left, and I don't know that I'm willing to lay it all on the line. And for what? For love? The very thing that got me here in the first place? I think not.

Then again, if love was indeed so terrible and awful, then why is it the center of every couple's purpose? After my experience, perhaps I'll never understand. But this ache in my chest, to be with that tom in silver-shining armor is now all I've ever craved, all I've ever wanted, and all I can think about. He dances in my dreams with me, he occupies my drifting mind, and he even makes me feel safe just by being near to me.

Maybe Jellylorum can clear up this obsession, this flaw. It'll get me into trouble if I'm not careful. I've learned my lesson once. I don't need round two. I'm truthfully not sure I'd survive it.

Silver fur… ebony stripes… soft emerald eyes… pointy ears… glossy teeth… brilliant posture… fluttering tail… gentle paws… firm chest…

Here I go again, my thoughts consisting of everything to do with that perfect dream of a feline.

"Hey there." Comes a voice from behind, matched with fast-approaching footsteps.

Demeter gasps and spins around, not expecting him to be out this late; knowing Alonzo takes the night shift on weekends.

"I'm terribly sorry. I had no intention of startling you." He apologizes. "How have you been, Dem? Do you mind if I call you that?"

She replies by nodding a 'no'; too stunned still to utilize her voice.

"You know," he started, "it's been seven entire months since your rescue and I haven't gotten so much as a thank you."

Suddenly Demeter had plenty to say. "I'm sorry. I meant to say thank you, I truly did. I've been feeling so strange ever since, I didn't know how, I-"

"You didn't know how? I'll show you, repeat after me." He interrupted her flurry of sudden speech. "Thank you."

She copied sheepishly. "Thank you."

"That's more like it." He smiled. He reached out to softly caress her cheek. At her flinching, he immediately retracted his paw and apologized.

"No... I like it." Demeter confessed.

He grinned, and resumed his actions, this time taking her into a full embrace. He could feel her body tense at the unexpected contact, but then she soon melted within his grasp. She was content. They pulled apart from one another and stared intently into their eyes; blue into green and green into blue.

"I think I love you, Munkustrap." She admitted, partially involuntarily.

"It's not something I'm uncertain about, Demeter. I know I love you."

And with hearing that, Demeter liberated her heart from that asphyxiating cage and stretched up to press her lips against Munkustrap's, the kiss increasing into something with meaning, passion and… well… love.

A/N: You like? Then tell me how much in a review! Hehe. :D