Just so you know, my friends are much funnier in real life. Unfortunately, I'm not a good enough writer to put the essence of pimpmypenguin on paper.
"Thank goodness you are here! 'Bounder has escaped into the fic, and, well, is chasing an obsession of hers." The Author pants out the instructions to her friends, who have now fully materialized in the fic. There are two short and rather nerdy-looking Asian girls in glasses, a pretty Indian girl with bangs and a medium height blonde girl with an insane grin on her face.
As soon as the Author finishes talking, the two Asian girls burst into mocking laughter, the Indian girl glances admiringly in the direction of Legolas, but manages to place a sarcastic grin on her face, and the blonde girl looks around her, doesn't notice anything she finds remotely interesting, and too begins to mock the Author.
"Um, Nem, why can't you control 'Bounda, considering you're the Tiny Terminator? Or even Aquaalien could do it, if she weren't so lazy" A sly grin begins to slide onto her face as the Author produces her patented death glare and begins to advance on all four of them. At the look on her face, the two girls stop laughing and the blonde one begins to back up.
Still, the tougher looking of the two Asian girls (Aquaalien) manages to produce one more snide comment (this is a bizarre talent of hers)
"Come on, Nem! Why call on us lazy bums when you already have superhuman strength?" She grins enthusiastically at the other girls, but you can tell that she is preparing for the verbal whiplashing of her life.
"First of all: Jitterbug, you look seriously idiotic glancing at Legolas every few seconds like that. I guess that's what you get for dating a Poohbear with a tan." At this Aquaalien bursts out laughing, as well as the unnamed Asian girl. Jitterbug looks mad and glares at Aquaalien, who points instead at the unnamed girl, claiming: "It was Jingle!" Jingle slaps her and they effectively begin to wrestle, until the Author steps between them. "Second of all, I see neither your manners nor the cleanliness of your mouth have changed since you switched worlds, pimpmypenguin. Third of all-------" "HELP!!!!! SHE WON'T STOP CHASING ME!!!" Aragorn runs straight at the pack of squabbling girls, still being chased by Rebounder.
"Lets help them, ok?" Jitterbug suggests to the other girls. She gets a few nods in return, and quickly they formulate a plan.
Jingle starts " 'Bounda, you're pretty but I'm sorry to say that you are no match for Arwen." Rebounder glares in her direction and slows for a second, allowing Aragorn to gain a lead. Next it's Jitterbug's turn "Dwayne Wade is SOOOOOOOOO much better than Steve Nash!" At this, Rebounder turns and runs straight for them. "Wait, I thought Jitterbug liked Steve Nash, and only MsGullibleRadcliffe like Wade?" Pimpmypenguin looks confusedly at the author. "She does. Their trying to make her mad. Weren't you LISTENING?" At pimpmypenguin's guilty shake of the head, the Author mutters "Eru help me! No don't actually come this time…" hurriedly into her hands. The other girls manage to restrain Rebounder and carry her out of the fic. The Author hands them each a home baked chocolate cookie for her trouble, except to Aquaalien, who gets 9. "Why does Alien get so many?" Whines Jitterbug. "Jitterbug11, you know her appetite. She's worse than a hobbit!" Jingle explains to her. Hearing her, Pimpmypenguin whirls around angrily "NO! No hobbits! Hairy feet just creepy!!!! Must…Kill…Frodo!!" "In that case, you're definitely leaving this fic NOW! I'll need him for a while but then you might as well kill him….good humor." All leave, except the Author. "Finally. I wish I hadn't had to ask them, but… I cannot handle a basketball player with raging hormones by myself….. Now, where you doing something?" She asks vaguely, to see Aragorn charging at her with Anduril drawn…….
What will happen to me? What will pimpmypenguin do to Frodo? Find out later…..
And please tell me if this bit makes sense. It prominently features my friends, includes a couple of inside jokes and such, so it might not work. If you strongly don't like it, tell me and I will use an ulterior plot.