The Closet
By AnimeDutchess
A/N: Yeah, this idea came from something on South Park…that's odd, using an idea from South Park for a Pokemon oneshot…ah, well, let's see how this goes, huh? And I don't know all the Japanese names, so it's English dub names…well, until one scene at the end.
Oh, and prepare for the most OOC thing you may have ever read.
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Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or South Park. So don't sue me. Please. I don't have anything of worth.
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Ash had a secret.
This secret was a big problem.
You see, he didn't know if his friends or family would accept this secret of his. Well, he'd already told Pikachu, but Pokemon were usually more understanding than most humans.
So, to solve this problem, he turned to the great problem solver of the world: Television.
…What, you haven't turned on the tube when you're in a funk?
Anyway, as he was flipping the channels on his TV in his bedroom, he stopped at Comedy Central. South Park was on. Ash liked South Park, so he decided to watch.
It was the infamous scientology episode. He was watching the part where Tom Cruise and all those other guys came out of Stan's closet when inspiration struck him. He smiled.
Good thing that party his mom was planning was tomorrow…
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It was around noon, and the Ketchum household was full of guests. Delia Ketchum, Ash's mother, was there, obviously. So were Brock, Misty, and Pikachu. Tracy and Professor Oak were also there, along with May and Max, who had dragged Drew with them because May and Drew were dating; they couldn't go five minutes without making some sort of physical contact (minds out of gutter, perverts!). Dawn, although new to the Pokemon universe as we know it, was also there. Even the bumbling Team Rocket team of Jesse, James, and Meowth were there; to keep them from doing anything theft-related, they were forced to wear shock collars. But those weren't really necessary; the three villains knew when to turn off their evil tendencies.
Anyway, everyone was talking and getting along swimmingly, but Pikachu was scheming. Ash had given him some very specific directions, and he was to wait until the peak of the party to help set Ash's plan into motion.
He figured that he'd better start when he saw Meowth spike the punch. Hey, at least the cat Pokemon wasn't stealing anything this time.
Pikachu looked around carefully, then sped off up the stairs and to Ash's room. He knocked on the door like Ash told him to.
"Pikapi?" He said in a hushed whisper. The door opened slowly and quietly. Pikachu glanced around before darting into the room, and he closed the door behind him.
"Were you followed?" Pikachu shook his head. Ash sighed in relief. "Good. Now, go get Mom; act nervous and bring her here. Point to the you-know-what, and then once everyone else is in here, let in you-know-who and the job's done."
"Pika!" Pikachu saluted his trainer. Ash smiled and patted Pikachu on the head.
"Good. Thanks again, Pikachu." Pikachu squeaked in response, and then slipped out of Ash's room.
"Pi, pi, pi, pi, pi-ka-chu, chu, chu, chu, pi-ka-pi," Pikachu said to the Mission Impossible theme as he made his way down the stairs. He stopped in the center of the staircase and hopped onto the banister. He spotted Ash's mother talking to Brock and Misty in the living room on the couch, and a mischievous twinkle appeared in his eyes. Showtime.
"Pika!" He said in a panicked voice as he slid down the banister. The three humans looked at him as he scampered to them. He stopped at Delia's feet and started to wave his arms around. "Pikapi, pikachu! Pika!" Delia picked up the electric mouse, confused.
"What's wrong, Pikachu?" She asked, concern in her voice. Brock and Misty stood up from their seats on the couch, also looking concerned. Pikachu wiggled out of Delia's grasp and ran over to the foot of the stairs, pointing to the second floor.
"Pika!" He then scampered up the stairs. Confused, Delia, Brock, and Misty followed. Pikachu stopped at Ash's door and pointed.
"Is something wrong with Ash?" Misty asked when the three humans got up the stairs. Pikachu didn't answer; he just opened the door and entered the room, the three humans on his tail (not literally, though…that'd hurt).
"Pikapi!" Pikachu pointed to the closet. Brock and Misty looked at the closet, raising their eyebrows.
"…Huh?" Delia looked around, not noticing where Pikachu was pointing. "Ash isn't in here…where is he?" The two teens and the Pokemon sweat-dropped.
"Pika!" Delia looked at Pikachu, and followed his paw with her eyes to the closet. She blinked.
"Yes, that's a closet," she said matter-of-factly.
Thump.
Pikachu flinched; Ash must've done a face-fault in shock. Delia's eye twitched.
"What the…" She then glared at the closet and walked up to it. "Ash, is that you?"
"…No," Ash's voice said from behind the closed door of his closet.
"Yes it is. Come out of there right now, young man." Delia was using the all-mighty fury of a protective, loving mother; it seemed to be coming off of her in waves, and Brock and Misty were intimidated. Pikachu had long ago slinked away to the doorway.
"…I'm not coming out, Mom."
"Why the heck not?!?" Delia exclaimed. She was about to pummel the door when Misty put a hand on her shoulder. Delia looked at the younger girl, the aggravation on her face disappearing.
"Mrs. Ketchum, maybe I can get him out of there," She said. Delia blinked, and then shrugged.
"Okay, give it a shot," she said cheerfully. She stepped back, and Misty went over to the closet.
"Hey, Ash, why don't you come out of there?" She asked sweetly. A pause. Then…
"No."
"…Why not?"
"…"
Misty sighed. This would be tough.
"Look, I'm not gonna think any differently of you if you come out of there. Neither will May or Dawn. Just please come out, Ash."
"I…I'm not in here, though." A vein appeared on Misty's forehead and her eyebrows knitted together in her usual angry expression.
"Dammit, Ash, what's that got to do with anything?" She yelled. She kicked the closet door.
"Ouch!" She yelped, holding her injured foot and hopping up and down until she made it to Ash's bed. She said down, sighing in relief. Brock shook his head.
"I don't know how that weird explanation would make him come out of there, Misty," He said. He would've gone farther, but the death glare the red-headed girl was giving him freaked him out. He cleared his throat quickly. "I mean, let me give it a shot!" He stood in front of the closet.
"Ash, why're you in the closet?"
"…I'm not in the closet, Brock."
"Yes you are."
"No, I…I'm not."
"Then how am I talking to you?"
"Um…you're…not talking to me?" Brock shook his head.
"Okay, fine, I'm talking to myself, then."
"Seems like it," Delia added. Brock and Misty slowly turned to the oblivious Delia, who had become all smiles, which was…kinda creepy.
"What's all the commotion?" A voice asked. The three occupants of the room turned to the door to see Professor Oak peeking in through the doorway, Tracy right behind him.
"Yeah, is something wrong?" The Pokemon sketch artist asked as he and the Professor walked into Ash's room. Misty sighed and nodded.
"Ash won't come out of the freaking closet," She said, rubbing her sore foot. Professor Oak nodded.
"I see…" He sat on the bed next to Misty. "And why not?"
"He won't tell us," Brock added, sighing as he sat on the floor by the bed. Delia nodded and stood by the bed.
"It's all rather silly," She added. She then looked over to the closet door, her mother fury once again making an appearance. "Get the hell outta there, Ash!" Tracy, who was the only one who saw Delia's expression, paled. He rushed over to the door.
"Ash, come outta there before your mom hangs our intestines on wire hangers or something," He whispered to the door; it was apparent that he was genuinely frightened. He could hear Ash moving around in the closet.
"Tracy, I can't come out of something I'm not in." Tracy's eye twitched, and he then walked backwards to Ash's bed. He climbed on and hid from Ash's mom behind Misty, who rolled her eyes. Professor Oak blinked.
"Wow, that's some case of denial." He said simply. He then looked over to Tracy. "Poor guy…" He muttered under his breath.
"Who's in denial?" Asked a voice. Everyone turned to see May, Max, and Drew at the doorway. May, who had asked the question, had a curious expression on her face.
"Ash is." Delia, who had changed to happy again, pointed to the closet. "He won't come out of the closet and he's denying that he's in there."
"But I'm not in the closet!"
"Yes, you are!" Delia and Misty shouted. Tracy, frightened again, moved to hide behind Professor Oak. Max stifled a laugh.
"It's like something out of a cartoon," The youngest said. Drew flipped his hair.
"It sounds stupid," The coordinator said nonchalantly, "I mean, holding up in a closet? How weird can you get?"
"I HEARD THAT!"
"Yeah, I bet you did," May shouted, "'Cause you're in the freaking closet!"
"No, I'm not!" May sighed. She walked over to the closet, hands on her hips and a determined look set upon her face.
"Ash, come on, this is stupid," She said. Drew came up next to her and put his arm around her.
"Yeah, I mean, my God, come out of the freaking closet already," He said, "Practically everybody's in here waiting for you." Max nodded.
"Yeah, it's true, Ash!" He said. He then looked around. "I don't think the room could get more full, though…"
"Is…this where we're having the party now?" Dawn asked as she entered the room. Everyone looked at her and sighed.
"No," Brock said, scratching his head, "Ash just won't come out of the closet." Dawn's face froze, and then she snorted.
"You…you didn't just say that," She said. She then started to laugh. Everyone gave her a funny look.
"I don't get it," Delia asked, confused, "What's so funny about coming out of a closet?" Dawn started laughing harder; the young trainer clutched her stomach and leaned against the wall, trying to steady herself. After a few minutes, her laughs died down, but she still had an odd little grin on her face as she joined everyone in waiting for Ash.
"Um…hello?" Jesse peeked her head around the door.
"Is everyone okay in there?" James asked, his head appearing above Jesse's.
"We heard the laughing and wondered what was up," Meowth said in his strange accent. Everyone sighed.
"Ash won't come out of the closet," They said together, in annoyed tones. Dawn snickered.
"Are you serious?" Both human Rockets asked, blinking in synch. Everyone else nodded. Tentatively, Jesse and James made there way to the closet.
"Uh, Twerp?" James asked cautiously.
"What the heck are you doing hiding in a closet?" Jesse asked, equally as cautious.
"Nothing."
"…Well, then, why are you in there?"
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
As Team Rocket and Ash continued to trade comments, Meowth noticed Pikachu slinking down the stairs. Curious, he followed.
Once he reached the foot of the stairs, Pikachu made a dash for the backyard door in the kitchen. Meowth hugged the wall and peeked around the archway of the kitchen. What he saw confused him, but he just shrugged and went to the snack table. Jesse and James would probably fill him in later.
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"No, I'm not." Jesse growled, and her eye twitched.
"Gah, dammit, Twerp, just come outta there!" She shouted. She was about to break down the door when James grabbed her.
"No, Jesse, wait, we can't-" Both Rockets were shocked. Everyone turned to Professor Oak, who held a remote control with a red switch on it. He shrugged.
"They were getting annoying," He said. Everyone nodded and turned back to the closet.
Knock, knock.
"Can I come in?" A male voice sounded from behind Ash's closed bedroom door.
"Sure, why not?" Everyone chorused; at this point, they didn't care who it was; they just wanted Ash to come out. The doorknob turned slowly, clicked, and the door opened, revealing the new visitor.
Auburn bangs swept over emerald eyes. A trademark yellow and green yin-yang necklace stood out from the equally trademark purple shirt. Pikachu emerged from behind the new visitor.
"Pika!" The yellow mouse said, a gleeful look on his face. Everyone blinked, but Delia was the only one who moved. She walked over to the new guest.
"Oh, I'm so delighted you could come!" She said, smiling and taking the boy's hand. "I didn't know you'd be here, Gary!" Gary Oak smiled back.
"Well," He said calmly, "I had some free time, so I decided to drop in." He looked around. "Oh, where's Ash? I wanted to talk to him about something." Everyone sighed and pointed to the closet.
"He's in there," May said, "And he won't come out."
"Yeah, and he's in total denial of being in there," Max added. Dawn giggled.
"He won't…come outta the closet!" She exclaimed, giggling. Gary blinked.
"Oh?" He walked over to the closet, looking at it. "He's in here, right?" He pointed to the closet. Everyone nodded. "Okay, watch." He knocked on the closet door three times.
"Ash?" He said, his voice kind.
Now, people who kinda knew how Gary treated Ash (namely Brock and Misty) were slightly suspicious of how nice he sounded. Everyone else was slightly confused.
"…Yeah?"
"Whatcha doin'?"
"…I'm…sitting in the closet."
"He admits it!" Misty exclaimed. Everyone shot her a look.
"But…why?"
"…"
"…Ash?"
Creak…
The closet door opened slightly.
"Gary, can you come in here, please?" Gary blinked, and then nodded.
"Alright, Ash…" Gary slipped into the closet. Everyone blinked. Dawn squealed.
"Oh god, two boys in a closet!" She exclaimed, blushing like mad. The other girls looked at her.
"…She's such a yaoi fangirl," May said, rolling her eyes. Misty nodded. Delia just blinked.
"What's yaoi?" The mother asked. The guys shrugged.
"Beats me," Brock said, sweat-dropping, "But I dunno if I like the sound…of…" He raised an eyebrow. "Hey, anyone else hear that?"
Everyone froze. There was the sound of soft moaning coming from the closet…
"Oooh…oh, yeah…"
"Mm…Gary, wait, not – Ahhh…"
"Yeah, you like it?"
"Mmm, yeah…"
"…I'm getting out of here," Tracy said calmly. He got off the bed and walked out. Once he exited the room, he screamed and ran all the way back to Professor Oak's lab.
Max blinked. "What exactly are they doing?" Drew looked at Max, then looked back at the closet door.
"Come on, Max, you shouldn't be here," He said, steering the younger boy out of the room. Max whined.
"But I wanna know what they're doing!"
"Trust me, you don't wanna know…"
Dawn squealed. "Ohmigosh, freaking awesome!" She exclaimed. She ran out of the room. "I'm getting my camera!" Misty and May blinked, and then followed the enthusiastic girl.
"Wait for me!" The two girls said, blushing. Delia blinked, confused.
"So…my son's gay?" Professor Oak got up off the bed and put his hand on Delia's shoulder.
"Turns out he is," He said, his eyes closed, "Along with my grandson." He then shrugged. "Eh, we'll live. Wanna go plan the wedding?" Delia brightened up.
"Yes, wedding! They'll be so cute!" She chimed in. The two adults walked out of the room, discussing wedding plans.
Jesse smacked James on the head. "Why don't we ever make out in a closet?" She asked angrily. James rubbed his head.
"We're not a couple, that's why!" He answered, his eyes shut in pain. Jesse grabbed his ear and started to pull him out of the room. "Ow, ow, ow! Where're we goin'?"
"To make out in a closet!" Jesse exclaimed as they exited. James started to cry in protest.
Brock just sat there on the floor. He shrugged.
"Whatever floats your boat, Ash," He said before leaving.
A minute passed. The closet door finally opened, and Ash and Gary emerged. Ash's hat was askew on his head, and Gary's shirt was rumpled. The boys chuckled.
"Well, I guess they realize it now," Ash said, a smile plastered on his face. Gary nodded, his eyes never breaking contact.
"Yeah, did you hear your mom and Gramps? They wanna plan a wedding!" Pikachu smiled, and closed the bedroom door as he left, but the boys didn't notice. "I think we should wait before we go downstairs and announce that we've come out of the closet." Gary shook his head. "I swear, Ash, only you would come up with a plan because of some cartoon." Ash shrugged.
"Yeah, well, it's the things like that that make you love me." Gary raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, really?"
"Really."
"Hm."
"…Hey." Ash rested his head on Gary's chest, and for once he was glad he was short enough to do so. "Aishiteru, Shigeru." Gary smiled at the nickname. He softly kissed Ash's forehead.
"Me, too, Ash," He said, "Aishiteru, Satoshi."
The rays of the setting sun shone through Ash's open window as the boys kissed with a passion, a faithful electric mouse standing guard outside, keeping away nosy relatives and crazed yaoi fangirls so that the two lovers could have some peace.
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A/N: Dear lord. That's technically my first mainly yaoi oneshot evaaah…wowzers. I'm proud of myself.
Anyway, did you enjoy this? Think I'm a sicko? Laugh 'till you cried? Either way, please review! Flames will NOT do you any good! And…I could write a sequel to this. Would you guys want that? Just wondering! I'll probably do it anyway if no one wants one, just wondering if there's an audience for it…
Yeah, so…thanks for stopping by! Ja Ne! - AnimeDutchess