Avowal

Avowal

Twilight

Fragments of moonbeams

Permeate the glass

As stars hide behind

Their sweet guise

Twinkling

In the pitch black abyss

Ziva slowly opened her eyes, she felt so peaceful, so safe. It had been a long time since she had allowed herself to feel this way. As she lay their silently she felt him stir in his sleep and his arms reposition slightly around her waist.

Leaves gently rustle

Breaking the silence

Time seems to lull

In the twilight

And everything stands still

They were the only two people in the world at the moment. As the moonlight crept through the window it illuminated his face, a face that she had not seen in so many years. Her mind wandered back to the day he had walked back into her life. It was clear that they were meant to be, fate had brought them together again despite the impossible distance and situation. How could her life have changed so much in so little time?

If Only

(One month earlier)

Tony had been mulling this over in his mind for weeks now and yet he was still unable to pluck the courage to tell her. She had always been there for him, through the whole debacle with Jeanne, she had been there as a friend. She didn't yet know how he felt or that she was the reason he had stayed, she was the reason he had let Jeanne go. To him she was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it took all of his will power to stop himself just staring at her, like he was admiring the most breath takingly beautiful sculpture in the world, because that was what she was to him. Breath taking.

He had tried to fight himself about his feelings for months; he used Jeanne as a distraction, telling himself that it was Jeanne he truly loved. But it was a lie and he couldn't escape what he felt any longer. So why couldn't he tell her? It was only five simple words, "Ziva David, I love you".

He looked over at her, peering from behind a pole so as not to be seen gawking. She was sitting at her desk, her long black curls falling continuously onto her face as she tried to complete the tedium of reports she was tasked with. He pulled away, that was it, he was going to tell her.

As he stepped out from behind the pole the elevator door opened after being announced by the customary chime. A man stepped out. Although Tony had never seen him before his heart sank, for a moment he did not know why but before he could even consider an answer the scene that played out before him justified his reaction.

The man walked slowly over to Ziva's desk and upon reaching it tenderly bent down and kissed her forehead through the mass of black curls. He pushed them aside and placed one hand tenderly under her chin, lifting her head so that her eyes met his. After the momentary confusion had subsided her face lit up like he had seen only once before. That face that had once been the sole content of his fantasy at that moment became his nightmare, a sight that would haunt him for so long as he chastised himself. Her smile was followed her hands grabbing his head, pulling it down to her own level and tenderly brushing her porcelain lips against those of the mysterious stranger. When they broke apart he could see she was crying, the man pulled her up and held her close, shielding her from everything else in the world. While this happened Tony looked on helplessly, a single tear escaping him as he replaced the CD in his jacket pocket. The music she would never hear swum in his head. All the things she would never know, if only he wasn't such a coward, if only…

Gut Feelings

Ziva lay in bed, Kedar's arms around her, protecting her from everything else in the world. She thought about the last month. Wow, it had been a month, it felt as if they had only just been reunited and yet as if they had never been apart. Her mind strayed back to her youth in Tel Aviv, her youth with Kedar. She remembered vividly the twisted apple tree on the edge of the city where he had carved their names, and immortalized their love.

Suddenly she began to cry, not tears of joy as when Kedar had arrived in the Bull pen but of sorrow and heart ache. Of secrets she longed to share and of pain she longed to forget. As she lay there she felt empty, the emptiness of loss, this pain had engulfed her for so long and gradually eaten away at her heart. She had become so fragile and her heart so broken that she guarded it obsessively, no one could break her heart if no one could see it. But lately she had been struggling with this tact, she so desperately wanted to let him in but she just couldn't‎. She wanted to let him consume her heart and carry her away. All she wanted was to be loved, but she couldn't bring herself to allow it.

Suddenly the moment dissolved with the sound of her cell phone. She jumped up to answer it; it had to be Tony, who else would be calling her at twenty past four in the morning. As she did so however, she was overcome by dizziness and had to take a moment to steady herself before proceeding to answer her phone. It was on its third ring by the time she finally answered. As she picked up the phone she desperately hoped that Tony wouldn't notice that it had taken her this long to pick up; she always answered his calls on the first ring, as if she knew he was calling.

By the time she answered she sounded breathless and flustered, and although she fought hard to compose herself the gnawing ache in her head, that had replaced the dizziness, was winning.

When Tony heard her finally pick up the phone and answer he knew immediately that something was wrong, firstly it had taken her three rings to pick up, secondly her voice sounded deliberate and concentrated but he could clearly hear the shaking uneasiness in it and thirdly, he just knew.

Ziva listened carefully as Tony explained the case, the body of a sailor had been found laying face down in the middle of a DC basketball court by a group of youths, who at the moment, couldn't tell you if they lived on earth or mars. In other words, they were high as a kite. Gibbs was going to meet them at the scene at five. Out of habit he asked if she wanted a lift, and he nearly fell off the chair he had perched himself on when she accepted. That was a first. It took a few seconds for her response to register, and then he asked for an address; for he knew full well that she was not at her apartment. She had told him that she was spending the weekend at Kedar's.

Once she gave him the address he hung up, something felt wrong, apart from the fact that he was up at twenty past four on a Sunday morning. There was something definitely up with Ziva and his gut told him that today was going be a day to remember, he was certain of it. He had had the same horrible feeling the day Kate was killed.