A/N: I've been wanting to write Adam fic since last year (which was when I last touched the books) but only got around to it now, so… hope this makes sense?
They don't trust him.
It's nothing he didn't expect, nothing he can't handle, but sometimes the wary looks, the suspicious murmurs, the outright hostility grate on his nerves. He tells himself they don't have to like him, they don't even have to trust him, they just have to work together, but he supposes it's only natural to want to be part of the group.
After all, these are the people he threw away his life for—he was willing to die for them, nearly did several times, and he never even met them—until now. He understands perfectly where their negative feelings towards him come from and he does not blame them; he is the only Mogadorian they see around lately, a member of the race that slaughtered theirs, murdered their Cêpans, killed several of them, kidnapped one and turned another traitor. Adam gets it. He really does.
He knows what he's doing and why; there is nothing he has to justify to these people. Sam and Malcolm have vouched for him and no one's strangled him in his sleep yet; that should be enough.
There's still a rather nasty bruise on his jaw where Nine socked him the first time they met. When he really wants to test his concentration, he'll poke it as hard as he can in the middle of creating a controlled earthquake worthy of at least a six on the Richter scale.
That's something else he's noticed; most of them will ignore him, pretend he doesn't exist when he's in the room, even when he speaks at the dinner table, but the moment he finds an area and time to practice his Legacy, they will all be there, silent, watching and waiting.
Waiting for what he doesn't know—to prove himself? He thinks he's done that over and over already, with getting Malcom out of Dr. Zakos's labs, with bringing down Dulce, with Rex and the Chimæra. To show that he will be an asset? He's already told them where the Mogs live. Do they even need him despite his Legacy? They've got so many others and it's not like he's a master of his.
Maybe they just want to keep an eye on him, keep the rogue Mogadorian in check so they can take him down the moment he displays an ounce of loyalty for his own people. That's fine then; they can wait all they like. Sometimes Adam thinks he hates the Mogs more than them—they loathe his race, of course, for killing theirs and hunting them down, but they don't know the Mogs like Adam does, and the blind loyalty to the beloved leader, the Good Book, and absolutely nothing else sickens him.
Because watching the Garde interact, the way they tease and bicker and laugh and just talk, he realizes what siblings are supposed to act like; seeing how Malcolm treats them and Sam, treats him, he finally realizes what a father is supposed to be. They make mistakes, they do stupid things, but in the end all is forgiven because they care for each other. He's heard the story of how Seven—Marina—could have killed Five, impaled him with an icicle, but instead only took out one of his eyes because she couldn't bring herself to kill him despite his traitorous acts. If he had been Five and Marina had been his father, his brother, his sister, even his mother, he would've had both eyes taken out before being killed. Preferably somewhere public to make an example of him.
Seven doesn't like him any more than the rest of them—Four is the only one who speaks to him, tries to get to know him, but even then Adam can tell he's forcing himself to do it. It's like there is a barrier between him and the Loric, something invisible but strong that repels them from getting too close. His pale skin, his dark eyes must make them uncomfortable, whereas there is something about them—he's not sure what it is—that makes the baser part of his brain scream kill them, or at least get away.
It's the part of him embedded in his blood, his DNA, the part One never managed to touch, and it only came out aftering meeting the Garde. He won't listen to it, of course, has become far too accustomed to tuning it out, but it is still there, a reminder that he is not and never will be truly part of them.
And that's alright—he doesn't need to be. He can take anything they throw at him; they can kill him for all he cares, as long as it is helpful to the cause. If he can die doing something that will falter the Mogadorians' plans or advance the Loric's, that is enough for him.
Because that is why he is here, for that and no other reason—he was worthless, and One gave his life meaning. She gave him a purpose, and he will fulfill it to the very end. He doesn't need her to tell him what to do anymore; he knows now.
Sometimes he thinks he can still see her, standing in the back of the group watching as the rest of the Garde train or practice their Legacies, at the corner of the kitchen table smiling as they tell jokes, hovering in concern in the bedroom doorway of whoever just woke up from a terrible nightmare. These are her people, her family, and sometimes he thinks it is a shame that she never got to be with them and they only got him instead.
They would love One—she is beautiful and smart, witty and lively, and there is no way any of them could not love her. Four might think twice about Sarah after seeing One—then again, Adam's probably just biased.
He hasn't told anyone about what really happened with One, and no one asks—maybe Malcolm told them, maybe they suspect, but whatever it is, no one ever mentions her or asks him why exactly she gave him her Legacy. One is never brought up, and she only ever appears in his memories.
He wants to think she is proud of him, that she sees what he is doing and loves him for it, but he knows those are useless thoughts—even if they are true, there is nothing he can do about it, and he needs to focus on what he's doing now. She is always with him anyway, even if he cannot see her, embedded in his thoughts and actions; she taught him how to live and he will forever be grateful for that.
Imagining himself as still part of the Mogadorian cause makes him laugh—right now he'd be a low-ranking soldier, a disappointment to his father, possibly already dead, cringing in battle and unable to kill the enemy. Instead he is one of the few individuals in the world on every single Mog's hitlist, a danger to the Mogadorian empire, one of the only people in the universe with a Legacy—One's Legacy.
It truly is her legacy—not just a Legacy, her legacy. A relic of ancient times, when Lorien was still a beautiful, thriving planet, when there were no intergalactic wars, when everyone was safe and happy. That is a time of the past, but it is the Loric's goal to recreate that in the future, and he is lucky to be a part of it.
It is not just One's Legacy he holds but the legacy of Lorien, a planet and race that his people destroyed, and while there is no way he can atone for his people's sins, he can at least be part of the force that tries to undo them. He will do the best he can, let the Loric use him however they need, in order to stop the Mogadorian expansion, to prop Lorien back on its feet and bring the planet back to life.
One didn't just give him her Legacy, she gave him the legacy of Lorien and he will use it well.
A/N: I haven't read the books since last year so feel free to point out any mistakes you see. This isn't really a fic, it's more like a shitty character study (emphasis on shitty), but whatever.