Cherish his Name (Amour/GeekChic)
Note: If anyone is up to date with the anime, this will be a little bit of a spoiler in what I will say but you need to know this upcoming to this story. You see, in the anime it shows that when AshGreninja takes damage so will Ash. As to why, we don't know but yeah. That's all you need to know going ahead with this story.
~midnight
It was over.
Everything was fine. Everything was safe. They saved the people and Pokémon that needed to be saved and even learnt a little more about who they were and what they could do. They all had a smile on their faces, but she couldn't find her. She somehow lost hers on the way out.
Her cold hands wraps around her neck, rubbing her hands up and down her throat, looking for the voice she had lost during the ordeal. The background noise of her friends she had met along the way suddenly felt quiet but their lips kept on moving. The noise didn't go away. The noise should of made her feel like somebody was there but it didn't. All she hears coming from their lips were white noise.
Soon her high pitch screams fills the cold air as her body drops to the ground. Even on her knees she doesn't stop. The sudden burst of her voice and her tears shocks everyone but the two companions as they rush over. One holds her tight and places his hand on her shoulder as the other spoke words of reassurance.
This was the first time she has said anything in weeks.
The screaming comes to an end as her body leans forward into whoever arms she was in. The tears didn't stop however as they sat on the ground quietly. She didn't care. She didn't want to feel this pain no more.
Her minds drifts to the past in the hopes that it would remove the pain her body was feeling. She was empty before she met him and here she was once again; cold and empty on the floor like the way she started. She had no goal to go, no dream to soar towards to until she glanced at that television one night and saw that reckless boy jump down Prism Tower just to save his Pikachu. What a reckless boy she thought.
But his face, the way he was so determined to save his Pokémon reminds her that she knew him once and wouldn't have remembered if she didn't decided to watch TV with her mother that night. A sudden urge to see him became her dream; an excuse to escape the fate of becoming a Ryhorn racer. That moment of where they were only young children, he held out his hand to her and that was her turning point, well for awhile until she grew up.
When they met, all she thought was to do things that could get closer to him, finds reasons to talk to him before noticing she didn't need to work hard to do so as it came to them both so naturally. Soon she starts to dream on her own for the very first time and he was there to support her. For once, she wasn't alone. She could dream and not one of her friends would judge her. She could fly.
Then before they knew it, they got stuck in some twisted plans and before she knew it. She was here, lost.
At his peak he was discovering a new power, unknown to all. They all watched with awe and with a new peak in interest to help him control it. But they were never given a break as evil men and woman dressed in neon orange chases them, haunting them until they were at all at their breaking point.
But before the pain he was already suffering. Every time he would unleash that power from his Pokémon he would share his pain and suffer. The all saw it and told him over and over that he was hurting himself but he stuck with his beliefs that even said that he would be just fine.
And of course they believe him. She believes him.
But that belief was gone as soon she saw him in so much pain in was unbearable. She was screaming, screaming as she remembers sitting on the ground, her fingers digging into the ground. She didn't understand what was happening – none of them did.
The pain strikes again and her mind flashes her back to the present. That haunting image causes her body to shake as she screams in the arms of whoever she was in. They were only children – only children. They shouldn't be feeling this, they shouldn't be experiencing this. They should have been on their happy-go-lucky journey like always. They should have been soaring to their dreams like always.
Minutes in reality her body reminds her that she was stuck in the middle of a storm. Rain pours all over her and whoever she was laying in the arms of. A little girl with blond hair walks over and holds a white umbrella over them all. That little girl speaks no words as she stares at the shattered woman, her body still so shaken.
She wonders if it was right that she was able to stand her with them. She wasn't as close to him as the other two were. They barely talked yet he was the type of person that would save her, if he could jump off a tower for his Pikachu she knew she had no doubt that he would save them all, over and over again.
The woman in the arms of the stranger didn't move as the rain continues to crash on the top of the umbrella. Her mind returns her back to that day. That day where all she could do was watch him suffer. Her desperation in her voice, her endless tears didn't seem to turn him off and stop. No, it made him to continue.
As her mentality and her emotional states were weakening his body was breaking apart. Scratches and cuts starts to paint on to his skin as her body suddenly pours in enough energy to run up and hold him tight.
Her voice breaking, she screams him to stop. To stop defending her as help was going to come their way; it always did. Her trembling hands hold him tighter as she buries her face into his back. She couldn't see his face and didn't know if she wants too.
On the other hand, he kept on screaming attack after attack and when damage was taken she heard the grunts he would make in response and the sudden twitch his body would make him turn to that direction. His body starts to sink, first he was leaning forward and afterwards he was on his knees.
But she didn't stop. Her hands was holding onto him, tighter than ever. With only his coughs to fill in the silence his hands reached to hers, her fingertips gently touching on his chest. Refusing to look back he reaches over and removes them gently, his own fingertips holding onto them, as tightly as he could.
His sweet voice aches for her as he speaks her name so lightly. But it was enough for her to hear. Tired of the screaming she whispers her refusal to leave him but as soon his releases his grasp of her hand, she knew he wasn't going to change his mind.
He reminds her over and over the reasons to leave. But as her lips opens, another horrible attack heads towards them both and with the last ounce of energy in him he screams to his Pokémon to release the most powerful attack it could muster. The water type looks over to his suffering master and knew that once more attack it took would be his master's last.
But there were no regrets in his eyes and he knew his master too well. He knew he always wants to go out with a bang. Mustering its own courage he releases the attack before being greeted by the brunt of the attack. The woman hears his screams before the deafening blast rings in her ears as everything fades to white.
When the ringing came to a halt she looks around and notices the hell that came after the war. Turning to her left was him. That foolish boy, who really had fought to the end of his breathe; his hand lightly holding hers. She remembers the way she felt that day where she wanted to hold his hand but tensed up. With her remaining tears her fingertips curls up and holds his hand, only wishing he could hold her hand just as tight.
He protected her and all she could give in return was her wishful tears, praying to any Gods watching them to bring their happiness back.
But their luck ran out that day.
A clap of thunder rings in her ears, retuning to what everyone around her called her present. Finally she lifts her head away of the chest of the man that had patiently been here since her ordeal. It was that geeky nerd of hers. He smiles to her to the best of his ability as his younger sister smiles back down to her.
Her pink lips trembling she musters the words of 'sorry' but her energy too drained to out to add any meaningful emotions behinds her words. The siblings stay where they were as the rain continues to pour down the feeling of depression over them all.
She remembers how she felt when nothing was coming from him at all. No smile, no witty comment, not even his fingers were moving. His eyes closed, his body badly beaten as his Pokémon lies in the distance, alive but barely moving. Her fingers press on the hand she was holding over and over again in the hopes that he would flinch and open his eyes, telling her to stop. She wants something from him – anything at all. She just wants to hear his voice telling her everything was going to fine like always.
As footsteps rush over to them she feels someone had picked up her body. The way they picked her up and the way they pick him up she knew from that very moment he was gone. That very moment she felt her soul leaving her. She had no more reasons to live.
She hears her name being spoken and she looks at her nerd friend. He was patting her hair so softly. His smile was just like his and she didn't understand if that was a good thing. She hears him asks her if how long she could keep herself like this in his endless loop of pain. She hears him go on that they were all suffering and they were also tired of the crying.
She knows what he speaking was true. She was tired of crying as well but she doesn't know what to do if she stops. Her motivation and her dreams died that day alongside with that boy.
Her life began when she saw him again and it ended when his ended.
Her mind still wonders and replays that moment over and over until she feels her body closing into another's, her eyes wide open and her body frozen still. Looking up she noticed her dear friend was holding her tightly. She felt his body shake and his voice trying so hard to stay strong. Lost, she stays in his arms and hears his voice speaking.
His voice, even it was breaking was comforting to hear. She hears him speak about that he and Bonnie would always be by her side until she was ready to stand on her own feet once again. He continues to describe this woman that she had no idea she had become on her own accord. She hears Clemont speak about how she was confident, strong and brave and even if they were qualities that were from their dear friend she still found a way to make them her own.
It had been so long since she had anyone that talks to her like that, the way they could talk to her so confidently and so proudly. It gave her a sense of warmth in her heart that she needs so bad from the cold rain they were all in.
And they missed that woman. She misses her too. But she died alongside their friend. They couldn't get her back to matter how much they talked about her.
She feels Clemont's arms hold her tightly as if he was now desperate to help her from the slumps she was in. She wonders why, they were never this close back then. They were friends but they had nothing to common yet here he was, trying to cling onto the hope that the old Serena would return to them all.
"She's gone. She's dead. Move on."
Her words were cold and were the first words she has spoken ever since her weak and emotionless sorry from earlier.
"Why should I be a person I know I'll never be again now that Ash is gone?!"
She keeps screaming but nobody answers.
"If I be that person again I'll be living a lie! A lie that his still here! That he didn't die for my sake! That this is all a joke and what I'm feeling is nothing but a lie!"
The screams and yells go on and on until she leans forwards in Clemont's arms and rest her forehead on his shoulders. The siblings stay still as the youngest in the group looks down as her hands start to shake.
"If you want to keep living with that lie then so be it!"
With a rush she leaves, dropping the umbrella on her way only for Clemont to pick up afterwards. Silence pours over them before Serena hears a sigh from Clemont.
"She's ready to give up on you…and she's been your biggest supporter for so long."
She pulls away from his arms and looks at him for a decent few seconds. He was looking at with a comforting smile; a smile showing that he hasn't given up on her just yet. Even with little interactions Serena knows that his changed. She looks away and sees Bonnie under a shelter with her own Pokémon, her eyes drifts away as soon she noticed Serena was looking towards her.
"But I won't."
His voice turns her back to him. His smile fades into confusion when he notices Serena was crying once again. Placing his hand on her left shoulder he soon discovers that there was a smile on her face as she cries. He didn't want to see her smile again like this – not in these tears.
"Why…why haven't you given up on me when I have?"
Holding the handle of the umbrella with both of his hands, the gym leader sighed. He was getting tired of the repetitive questions. He thought that if he would always be by her side that maybe she'll see him and Bonnie as people to lie on and then eventually return to her own self. But it had now been weeks since that day – that day that had ruined them all.
His best friend, the man he admired got control of a rare power and was learning how to use it to the best he can. But there was a price as each time his Greninja took damage his body would take it. But the only difference was his best friend was human and there was no way his body could take so much damage like a Pokémon could.
But he didn't care; he kept on pushing and keeping his pain to himself until that day came where they were fighting against the strongest people they could even imagine. Even as a well trained gym leader he barely made it through. Then there, in the distance was her, on the ground and doing her best to keep on the fighting. But attacks were heading her way and like the hero his best friend was, he and his Pokémon took the hit.
He remembers her screaming and her tears when she begs him to stop. But they were just as stubborn as each other and he refuses. He kept on defending her until she was willing to leave. His body itched to help his friend out but him and his Pokémon were out and ready to faint.
He knew his friend wasn't going to make it. He tried his best to search through his bag and look for any invention that could take a hit – anything. But his mind was empty as he watched his best friend's body degrade in front of him.
And when he watches Serena's hands let go and slip away, a huge attack aimed at them finally connected with his friend the most as everything faded to white. Nobody could hear his scream when he watched that attack hit his Pokémon and that pain finally sending to his master's body and sending the final shock.
On his knees he remembers watching the rescue crew come in and pick up the injured around them. He watches as Serena's weak body was picked up by the rescue crew. Her cries and her screams broke him as he remembers her blood curdling screams for their friend to return or to wake up. But as the adults came to their best friend's body, he knew, he knew he wasn't going to wake up.
Returning his attention back to the woman in front of him, "Do, you want me too?"
"You'll get tired."
Clemont gives out a short chuckle, "I don't want to lie but I do get tired at times but I know you're more tired at this than I am. I mean the difference between me and you are that you loved the guy, I simply admired him."
He notices Serena's eyes widen as if she had just been caught stealing. Her red cheeks flusters, giving light to the dark gloomy area they were in. Serena tries to cover her face with her stuttering hands but the young man in front of hers pulls her hands down away from her face.
With his heart racing with the words he was about to speak, Clemont speaks. "But I am tired of seeing you like this." Pausing, "Aren't you?"
Serena sits quietly before standing up and turns to the right of her. There was that grave along the many that had fallen on that day. It was a depressing sight and alongside the rain didn't make anyone feel anything. It was cold and numbing.
Taking her few steps into the rain Clemont follows suit and holds the white umbrella over them both. They gaze at the name and the dates written on stone.
"You said you were tired of seeing me like this right?" The woman's face stuck with the gravestone in front of her. "Then maybe it's best if you just leave me. I don't want you to get tired because of me. I don't want to hold your life back because of me." Turning around she looked warmly at the gym leader. "You have places to go and dreams to seek. Unlike me, mine died the day I lost him."
His fists clenched tightly around the handle of the umbrella, his heart finally ready to burst with irritation. She was better than this, yet she chooses to bury them along their dead friend.
"Stop talking like your dead already!" Clemont finally snaps.
It was rare for him for him to raise his voice at anything other than calling the name of his inventions yet alone to anybody. Finally his tears were let loose as his body was shaking.
"Stop talking like you died on that day instead of Ash!" Clemont's voice was desperate. "You're alive and yet you talked like you died on that day. I don't want to give up that one day you'll see everyone around you that has been you since day one. But you're so stuck the past that they all started to leave you…even Bonnie and she treated you like her own sister Serena!"
Silence filled the air as the wind howled around them, causing the umbrella in Clemont's hands to slip due to his trembling hands. The rain instantly soaks them both.
"And maybe, maybe I should too since that is what you want!" The young man was trying so hard to keep it together. "Isn't it Serena? Am I right?!"
She wraps her arms around her as the rain continues to pour over her petite figure. "Yes. I don't want to hurt you or Bonnie anymore. Please leave, it's for the best."
It was at this moment that Clemont believes that the woman that was looking back at him was really that far gone. She was nothing like before, now only an empty shell with an emotionless voice. She really died that day after all.
"I…I" Losing his words, "I…really…have lost you."
Turning around Serena watches her friends leaving her, just the way she wanted it be. Bonnie runs over and grabs the umbrella that flew out of her brother's hands as they both made the walk back to their home. Still in the rain she notices that not even the bright lights of Luminous city could shine through the rain and fog.
The rain lightens up as she looks behind her. She begins to wonder why she still felt so sad inside. Her friends were gone and they weren't going to get hurt no more. Gladness should be overwhelming her.
"I should be alright now, right?"
She talks to his grave as if she was going to get an answer from him. The wind howls around her as if that was her response.
"I should be alright…right?" She asks him from reassurance.
Still, only the roaring wind provides her with some sort of an answer.
"…yeah, I'm j-just fine-e."
Nothing,
Annoyed, she clenches her fists. "God damn it," She cusses. Spinning in the spot the young lady breaks into a run. She begs for her legs to run faster and faster as she had so many things to say. Something in her was telling her that this wasn't right. Letting them go wasn't going to give her happiness but make her feel more hollow and empty in the inside.
She wants to say sorry for being so selfish.
She wants to say sorry for acting as if the world ran around her.
She wants to say sorry for taking everyone that cared for her for granted.
She wants to say sorry for making him suffer for so long.
Her feet finally hits the wet footpath as she tells her body to run faster as cars drove past her, worrying that maybe it was already too late. Maybe he didn't want to talk to her and she understands why. She was so selfish, so alone that she was scared.
She still was. She was still scared that her friends will get hurt because of her. She was scared that they'll reject her but her heart screams for her to try anyway. After all, they had been trying to reach to her for so long. Even a single glance was fine by her. She just wants them to know that she's trying, even a little.
Her emotions pouring she continues to run. Running into the city now she prays that not one car would come by and stop her. She needs to see them both. She needs to see her friends as they were the closet ones to ever understand her. She knows that they would be the people that can help her out.
Feeling out of control of herself her feet finally give in as she falls forward onto the road, splashing water all over her. Bright lights suddenly are seen heading towards her as she struggles to stand up. Her body, already weak from the running, she closes her eyes as the bright lights come in closer and closer.
Maybe this was her ending. Maybe this is what she deserved for kicking the only people that could relate to her pain.
But the sound of rubber tires coming to a halt and the smell of petrol were greeting to her instead the sounds of heaven's gates opening to her. Opening her eyes Serena notices the young boy with his family. His father coming outside to see it was no other but Serena on the road, bruised and beaten inside and out.
"Serena?" Clemont's father begins. "What on earth?"
Serena sees through the car windows of Bonnie handing over the white umbrella to Clemont as the young man makes his way out with an umbrella over him. He looks at his father as he nods and starts the car again. He reverses and parks the car by the curve, waiting for him on the side.
She first refuses to look at him as she struggles to get her words together.
"Why are you here?"
Silence.
"I thought you would feel better if you lost Bonnie and me so you won't hurt us anymore."
The wind returns to answer for Serena's behalf of silence.
"I thought you didn't need us."
Gathering her words Serena pushes herself and sits up, looking up at her friend.
"I'm sorry!" She screams suddenly. "I'm so, so sorry." She places her hands on where her heart lies. "When you left I remembered how rude and selfish I was to you and Bonnie. I noticed that if there is anyone that understands me is you!"
Clemont is caught off guard by her words. He was never the one for words and lets her continue.
"I miss him. I yes, I loved him. Ever since we were children and I still carry that longing for him. But it isn't going to bring him back. I'm sure he knew that when he asked Greninja to take that attack for me. He took in all that pain knowing he wasn't going to come back." She pulls herself to her feet. "I want to hate him but I can't. You can't hate a person like that."
"I miss him too. Without him I'm sure I would still be stuck outside my gym." Clemont finally finds the words to talk to Serena. "And I miss him because he was my first best friend that taught me to get stronger as a person and gym leader. But I know Ash doesn't want me to return to that uncertain and confused person when we first met. He wants me to be strong." He pauses for a moment as his heart races, "And I know, that he died protecting you because he liked you too."
Caught off guard, Serena was shaking in her boots.
"He wouldn't protect you like that if he didn't. I watched you both form the distance that day and I could see the pain in his eyes knowing he couldn't tell you that. He doesn't like anyone seeing him crying remember?"
Serena's mind wonders to the times where Ash would lower his cap whenever he felt like crying. Serena continues to stand in the middle of the road with her friend, trying to grasp the idea that Ash liked her as much as she did.
"And if my theory is right, I'm sure he wanted to talk to you before that attack came and turned everything to white. I could see his lips moving but I couldn't tell what he was saying." He offers his hand to her. "Please, don't waste yourself like that. He died to make you live because he loved you so much that he couldn't find the words to say it."
Her fingers shaking, Serena slowly reaches over to touch her hand with his. "H-How do you know all of this?"
Swallowing hard at first, Clemont puts on a brave face for her. "Because, I…I would do the same thing." His eyes dived to the ground, trying to avoid the reaction Serena would make from his words.
Her heart upbeat, his words finally made her body feel alive; as if she has something to look forward too. Her mind puzzled as she soon comes a conclusion that, maybe, maybe, Clemont likes her? But it felt so…off putting. What was there to like about her? They hardly spoke and had nothing in common.
But she and Ash had just as little in common yet she had fallen for him.
Looking back at Clemont she sees how he was glancing away every time his eyes would come across her face. She knew his words meant pure.
"You would?"
Finally looking at her, "Well I don't have that kind of power like Ash did with his Pokémon but yeah, something like that."
She notices how shaky he hands were becoming and decides to grab it and hold it tight. She laughs at how red his face was becoming when she accepts his offer to hold her hand back to the car. She somehow could see herself in him; the way how quickly her face would go red every time she thought about her and Ash together.
She smiles at the memories of how red her body would go at the idea of holding hands with him or how flustered her face would go when her rivals noticed her oblivious crush on him. Even her Pokémon were teasing her about it. She doesn't know if Clemont caught guard by it as he and Ash were just as dense as each other.
"Just promise me we'll help each other out of this. I want to remember how it feels to look forward to something - to dream and have hopes for the future. I'm scared still but with you guys around, maybe I'll just be fine."
She places both her hands on his as he was trying to calm himself down. Taking in a few breathes Clemont nods. "I don't think I have an invention for that but I'll try."
Letting go of his hand she stands right by his side as they look at Meyer and Bonnie, both waving at them to come and join them. They both look back at each other. With a soft smile Serena raises her right foot and looks back at her friend.
"One step to the future?" This time she holds out her hand to him. "I can't do this without you."
Lost for words he glances at Bonnie and sees her and her father with giving the thumbs up. He didn't want to know what they quite meant by that as he turns to face his female friend and raises his right foot as well.
Taking her hand, "To a future that Ash gave to us all."
Seeing Clemont was holding her hand tightly, she bits her bottom lip and dares to speak his name in the first time ever since she lost him. "Yes, to a future that Ash gave to both of us."
With a smile, both landed their feet in the puddle in front of them, sending the water up and crashing into them. Both burst into laughter for a few seconds before rushing into the car. Inside both were greeted with positive smiles on their faces.
They all missed Ash and the road ahead of them was going to be lonely and hard without him by their sides. But Serena suddenly felt excited and hopeful to waking up in the morning with some sort of smile on her face, knowing that everything was going to be fine.
She didn't have to do this alone no more.
She continues to live on for Ash for now and then eventually for her own. She'll find her dreams, her passions again and her drive. But for now, all Serena wants to do was close her eyes and rest for a new day, a day where she'll remember that she was never alone to begin with like she first thought.
And she'll cherish speaking his name until one day, she could speak his name with the same passion and joy she once did with Ash's.
A/N: THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE 100 PERCENT AMOUR BUT GEEKCHICSHIPPING HAPPEN AND NOW ALL I FEEL IS PAIN BECAUSE I LOVE AMOUR MORE THAN GEEKCHIC BUT I NEEDED TO GIVE SERENA SOME HAPPINESS BECAUSE THIS STORY MADE ME SO SAD AND CLEMONT DOESN'T DERSERVE TO BE SAD ASKDHSLHLAHGL.
The plan was to write a Amour fic of angsty Ash and Serena but I got carried away and well...got rid of him for good. I wrote this story many times over but couldn't finish it because it didn't flow or ended right. I'M SORRY FOR HURTING YOU ALL ITS JUST WRITING ANGST GIVES ME LIFE IDK WHY.
I promise the next time I write a oneshot it will be more positive. Here, have some tissues and have a nice day. :D
~midnight
