Desert Confessions
He stared down at me with his blue-gray eyes and told me to leave, and I ran away without the slightest tear because I knew this day would come. When I remember back, his orange-red fur was blazing and the south Mexican sky a backdrop of hell. His voice commanding and varied in pitch, and I stared back with the gray eyes of a coyote.
"Arklyna" Celyna woke me up from my sleep. I looked around the desert floor. It seemed like dawn, but I could not tell.
"Where is Erilyna?" I asked her.
"He went to find the rest of the pack…" She trailed off, knowing that Kopyna had sent me away. To him I was just another coyote in his pack, when really, I was always there, helping him with everything, but when Vashyna came around I was left like a dead antelope to be eaten by the vultures. I know he really did once love me, he talked to me a lot, and we had even laughed a couple of times, I was the one in the pack that really knew him, even more then Vashyna. She was often in the back with the other clique of coyotes while I was in the front with Kopyna talking away. Then I noticed he kept looking back at her whenever I spoke to him, which didn't bug me at first but then months past and soon we ended up carrying little pieces of conversation in the back of pack even though, with Kopyna the leader, we should be in the front. Love gave way and here I am, lying on a desert floor, with him not even near me. I really believe we became a part of each other's lives; you couldn't have Kopyna without Arklyna. Every time he says something to me that takes thought, I cherish it, but then he'll say something horribly dumb to me and then all is lost again. I miss him incredibly. "You're just invisible" Kopyna said to me about a month ago, that's when I knew my day, would come. It did.
Break 1
"Erilyna has arrived" Celyna said, I jumped up, adrenaline rushing, hoping that Kopyna might want me back.
"Vashyna says that Kopyna is nowhere to be found" Erilyna told us as I let out a soft whimper.
"Why isn't she looking for him?" Celyna asked. Erilyna just shook his head.
"She wouldn't give us any details since we left with Arklyna, the 'out kast' she says" Erilyna said and I took off, knowing Vashyna's scent from miles away, I ran and ran, then the pack was within 50 feet. I second guessed my motivation, but went with it.
"Vashyna!" I called. She whipped her head in my direction and snarled. The same hell backdrop came over me again but I shook it off, Kopyna was one thing but Vashyna was another.
"Arklyna…why are you here? Didn't Kopyna dismiss you from the pack forever?" Vashyna said in a cold, harsh voice that rung throughout the hot desert.
"Oh, no, not forever" and I swiped her, with my rough nails and the stream of blood began to flow from her shoulder. She lunged for me and had her mouth around my left back leg and I had yelped, the others watched in horror but stood still. Her teeth dug deep into my flesh. I went for her neck but she had me to the ground before I had to time to do anything else.
"Don't bother looking for Kopyna, he doesn't want you" Vashyna whispered.
"You're lying!" I screamed at her, she just squinted her eyes and swiped my face with her paw, leaving 4 lines of blood to trickle down. Celyna and Erilyna came running in the distance but everything grew dark and I knew death was coming for me, I felt my left back leg melting into the Earth as I drowsily watched the blood flow off it, my eyes began to close and I was sure this was the end of me…
I jolted up, eyes wide, gathering thoughts. "Am I in heaven or hell?!" I yelled at the figures staring back at me.
"Arklyna, you're alive, we bandaged your leg with the resources we could find and helped heal the gash on your face" Celyna told me.
"Where's Kopyna?" I asked Erilyna, ignoring Celyna's statement completely.
"They still don't know…but Arklyna why did you run off?" He asked me.
"My instincts…she doesn't love him…I know it…she's horrible!" I couldn't put a complete sentence together so I laid my head back down. Celyna gave me a heartbroken expression and Erilyna just stayed silent. I growled. I'm leaving I silently told my companions. I broke off into a sprint, not knowing where to go, but on one mission: to find Kopyna.
It was late evening the sun falling down into the desert, so I settled by a rock, the night will be cold without others body heat, but I'll get through.
I woke up, the sun blinding my gray eyes, making them feel as white as I thought a cloud would be. I set off, hoping to find a rat for a late breakfast since the sun was nearly at its highest point in the sky. The desert wrapped around me, drowning me in the forever going dry ground. This wasn't going to be easy, sooner or later I'll be finding myself in the towns with those tall walking mutants. Hours passed, my thirst had grown and so far there was no moss rocks or little water puddles. I was going north, I think. I've covered about 50 miles, earlier I captured a small desert rodent and its' been my only meal since I set off.
I traveled for weeks before I found a city in the distance, I knew I wasn't in Mexico anymore but in that place they call Arizona. Coyotes often speak of a smaller place called Phoenix which they say is in Arizona but I never completely believed them but now I think I'm proving myself wrong. I walked the rest of way, fighting every inch of exhaustion that had taken over my body.
I reached the town with the mutants. I walked the streets trying to stay low, there were many mutants and they kept running away from me, but I was equally afraid, so I guess traveling was easy for me. I stopped in my tracks. It was Kopyna's scent. I followed it for a long time. I turned down a narrow road filled with trash and it seemed quite dark even in the sun of this grand town.
"Kopyna!" I yelled. But he didn't move…he's sleeping, I'm sure. I went over and brushed my head against his. I sat down next to him and let the day slip away and by the night I laid my head by his and fell asleep.
There we were, in a forest, water supply unlimited trees taller then anything we'd ever seen. Then I saw a man appear with one of those guns we've heard of in stories. Fire. Kopyna fell to the ground. I licked his wound as fast I could but there was something that stopped me. A block in his flesh. Big, black, and impossible. Fire. My head was burning and I couldn't manage to think. I was dying this time. My thoughts were slipping away and the blood swallowing my eyes. I could taste it on my tongue and the impossible hit me again and my ribs cracked, shattered pieces of glass inside my body. Death was swallowing me whole as I prayed Kopyna was okay. It was then I drowned in the flames of hell, and fell straight into my own grave.
"Arklyna!" Kopyna boomed. I yelped as I awoke from my nightmare. Gasping for air, my thoughts whirred.
"Kopyna" I whispered still out of breath. He gazed at me with those magnificent blue-gray eyes, and the little bit of heart I had left sung.
"Leave" He told me once again, a stab in the heart, hopes and dreams crushed. It's amazing how much impact one person makes on your life.
"No" I refused to leave him again.
"This isn't going to be as easy as you thought," He told me, reading my thoughts.
"But…are you in love?" I asked. He closed his eyes, as if answering this yes or no question was a death sentence…and maybe it was.
"Yes" He said and turned my back on me.
"With Vashyna" I stated, this is the truth, and frankly, I liked when he lied better.
"I'm not okay," I told him. Kopyna started forward, walking out of the alley, down the major street, and out of Phoenix.
Break 2
It was a long journey back home, mostly because I couldn't see straight with tears falling from my eyes. He doesn't know how much I miss him and how much he doesn't deserve her and how much she doesn't deserve him. I honestly don't think he'll ever know. My efforts for patching up our friendship seem to make no difference. Even though a month ago he had told me he felt ignored and I told him I felt the same. The next day was fine, but then it was downhill from there and now its' like the words were never exchanged. I wish he'd just talk to me…
All I wanted to do was scream, but Celyna refused to let me say a word. I had tore open the bandage-like thing that was around my leg. Now it was infected. Stupid alleys. Stupid Phoenix. Stupid Vashyna. Stupid Kopyna.
"Did you ever find Kopyna?" Celyna asked me.
"No" I lied. She frowned.
"He really should come back, Erilyna got in a fight with Vashyna yesterday over his where-a-bouts, but of course, she didn't practically take his leg off" Celyna told me. I let out a sigh.
"Arklyna, why do you chase after Kopyna, if he hurts you so much?" Erilyna asked. My mouth dropped and no words would spill out of it.
"I…I…don't know" I tried to speak normally. I tightly closed my eyes. But when I opened them, Erilyna was staring at me, with a pitiful look on his face.
"No! Erilyna! Don't pity me! I know what I do is wrong and I know my love for him is forbidden!" I shouted.
"At least I know you are grown," Erilyna said.
"As if I were younger, Erilyna, we have grown together, along with Celyna!" I told him.
"True, we have, but have we grown with our souls, because I do not know!" Erilyna shouted at me.
"I need you, Erilyna and Celyna, I cannot just immediately stop loving Kopyna," I said calmly.
They stared back at me. My heart screamed Kopyna! Kopyna! Love me! Love me! And my mind screamed Find him! Run! Run!
So what can I do? Do I stay in shelter with my best friends or run after Kopyna, once again.
"Arklyna, come, rest your head, and sleep on your final decision" Erilyna said, after calming down. I listened to him and lied down amongst them. There I sat and thought, I did not sleep that night, and I was torn in two. My friends who wanted me or my love who abandoned me. Oh, he does not love me.
My eyes popped open, the light spilling into my pupils causing me to squint. I got up, still squinting and managed to walk out of out small cave into the daylight. I finally was able to see, Erilyna and Celyna were gone, probably off to get food. We were going to be here a while. Which means, I am staying with them. I honestly do not know how hard my decisions was, my sub-conscious helped me. Maybe splitting the pros and cons of my terrible choice. I waited until they came back with our breakfast or lunch, however long I had slept.
They walked in with such grace, their amber eyes awaiting my answer.
"I'm staying," I said. But they said nothing.
"I'm staying!" I shouted at them. No reply. "Celyna, Erilyna!" They looked at me. The amber was gone.
"It's Kopyna" Erilyna said, "he is looking for you". My heart rose and sank. My mind whirred and froze.
"You can leave, Arklyna, you may leave us!" Celyna shouted with a heartbroken tone and a painful expression.
"No! Why at once my decision has been made, he decides to love me again!" I collapsed to the rough ground in anguish.
"I do not care, Arklyna, whom you have chose in your sleep, but Kopyna has chosen you" Erilyna said.
"You may go, you have our permission" Celyna said, sounding a tad more hopeful. I knew what I had to do. I walked out of my shelter tears burning my eyes and soaking the fur around them. I could not see once I had stepped into the hot sunlight of summer, with the sun highest in the sky. Now I will be walking to my love, blind. As for, love, after all, is blind.