Dear Soul Society,
If you are reading this, that means Rukia really DOES go through our mail! I
always KNEW it! So THATS why spam mail is automatically put in the garbage and
any mail from girls to Ichi-nii are frozen shut!
Well, anyways, I am only writing you this letter for one reason:
STOP SENDING US FREAKING THANK-YOU GIFTS!
I mean seriously, it's been over 1 year, yet you still send Ichi-nii candy
because he defeated Aizen for you. If you really want to thank him, get rid of
that soul-reaper guy that you have stationed here. He keeps trying to arrest
Ichi-nii for "being suspicious".
Even though Ichi-nii can't see you doesn't mean I can't. Yes Ukitake-taichō, I
know you're the one who keeps sneaking into our house and putting candy under
our pillows. No one else has chappy lollipops except for rukia, and if she we
giving thank you gifts to Ichi-nii, she'd be throwing them at him, no offense
Rukia.
Also, you need to station a taichō here because these hollows are everywhere.
They keep chasing me around and its getting annoying, having to kill at least
ten of them on the way of school. Every. Single. Day. Even Jinta has enough
sense to be on guard, and he is just about as smart as Renji. Why are all the
redheads of the soul society dumb? I've also noticed that the most sensible
people in the gotei 13 have white hair. Is it because they are the oldest of
them all? Then I wonder why toshiro is still so short (or as he likes to call
it, vertically challenged).
Well, anyways, it'd be best if It was who was already acquainted with earth. If
I have to teach one more shinigami about how a computer works, I'll kill myself.
Then I'd kill the one I was teaching. And that one time you sent Zaraki-taichō,
half of karakura was destroyed. Not to mention he caused the biggest
'earthquake' in japan, as well as causing a tsunami, and causing several nuclear
power plants to leak.
Soo that pretty much wipes out most of your contenders, but I don't care
anymore. Just send Tōshirō here. It's not like he does anything besides
paperwork, paperwork, and... Oh! Did I mention paperwork?
Besides, I think that Matsumoto needs some... Ah, punishment... for that time
she got drunk in the barracks and started a betting pool as to whether or not
Tōshirō would notice his hair dyed blue. Isn't that right, Sō-taichō?
Sincerely,
A very annoyed shinigami-to-be,
Karin Kurosaki.
P.S. Matsumoto,I didn't suggest Tōshirō because I like him, as you always try to
imply. He's just the only person in the Soul Society that can actually play
soccer. Without having to ask me what the rules are every five seconds.
P.S.S. And also, Matsumoto, I know you're the one who stole our credit cards. No
one else would go on a shopping spree with them and get natto, leeks, cheese,
and onigiri flavored cake mix for lunch except Orihime, and I don't think she
would also but designer clothes and makeup with the card, too.