There was once an old, grumpy man named Tim. He lived in the best country in the world, which is of course Canada. He hated children, he hated the way the leaves rustle so annoyingly in Autumn, and he hated karaoke. The one thing Tim loved in life was the little pub just down the road from where he lived, except for when they had karaoke night. He would visit it everyday just to stare at it. His goal was to someday own the pub. One day, he was waiting in his favorite spot for the owner of the establishment to negotiate over the price of buying it. The pub wasn't very lively that day, but that was just the way he liked it. What he didn't notice, was the fact that he was the only one there. Even the bartender had fled. This was because the badly animated, Japanese monster that went by the name of Cthulhu had been sighted in the area. Cthulhu was a horrifying monster with hundreds of disgusting tentacles protruding from its shell-like body. Tim didn't care though, he always brought his lucky shotgun with him, and he was sure that Bessy( he named his shotgun) could handle anything. He had finally noticed the bartender was gone, and helped himself to some alchohol. He was soon pleasantly drunk, and didn't notice the ground rumbling beneath him. All of a sudden, Cthulhu burst in, tentacles everywhere! It was like a bad, 1970s Japanese movie! Tim sat stunned for a moment, looking up at the hideous monster, but he came to his senses and dove under the table. He thought it might just go away. Little did he know, Cthulhu hated pubs! And the thing it hated most about pubs, was the fact that they had too many tables! With an almighty roar, it swiped a particularly large tentacle across the room, sending tables flying every which way! Tim was now unprotected and realised that he had to use his last resort. Bessy. He grabbed his trusty shotgun got up off the ground. Cthulhu noticed him and let out another roar, but Tim stood his ground, and fired directly into the monster's left eye. This only fueled its rage. Cthulhu grabbed Tim with a slimy tentacle and threw him into its mouth. with an angry shout, Tim Thrust his gun into the Cthulhu's jaw, keeping his mouth from closing. He then did the only thing he knew to do. Tim lit a match and set the gun on fire. It hit the gunpowder and ignited, throwing Him from Cthulhu's mouth with a large explosion. Just before he hit the ground and blacked out, he saw the already crumbling pub collapsed in on itself, burying them both. A few hours later, he awoke, and was able to dig himself out of the rubble. The the monster was buried somewhere in all that mess. The terrible Cthulhu was finally dead, But at the cost of Bessy and the pub. He went back to being a grumpy old man, and decided to try yelling at fish to pass the time.