A/N: I don't usually do disclaimers but obviously, I'm not Akamine Kamijyo as I will be too busy making the series rather than writing what I wish to do with SDK.
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He hated me.
He loathed my mere existence.
He would be much more happier if I were to be gone.
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"Kyo… do you know what day this is today?" I said as I sat next to him at the porch. He shifted a little. I heard something break.
"Hmph," was his remark.
"It's not a day that I enjoy remembering but… it's the day you tore up my kimono… our first meeting… don't you remember?" I told him in a faraway voice.
"Oh, what? You want me to pay you back?" he said, not bothering to look at me. I heard another breaking sound.
"Kyo… do you… do you…" my voice was restrained. I was unsure at how he would react, I was too scared.
"Speak up, woman. I don't have time for your foolishness…" he took out his pipe and began to smoke.
I gulped down my all my words. When did I begin to be such a timid person? I shook my head. I can see from the corner of my eye that Kyo was beginning to get annoyed. "Kyo… I…"
"You what?" I can hear the loss of his patience in his words. He was looking at me darkly.
"Do you wish for me to be gone?"
"…"
"Do you?"
"Out… of… my… sight…" was his statement.
I knew from his words that he was serious. I heard my heart shattering into millions of pieces. All of them gone, flowing with my hot tears that kept coming out. I stopped a sob. I stood up and left for my room.
"Bitch…"
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If I were to die, would he be happier? Would he smile? Would he always be cheerful?
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"K-Kyo…" I was on my futon for nearly three days… crying all the moisture out of me. Why was I this sad? Is his answer that important? He hated me, so what? Kids form my past hated me too, the villagers hated me too… but why did it matter so much?
"Why do you hate me? Is it my hair? Is it my eyes? Is it my looks? Is it because I'm ugly to you?" I asked an invisible Kyo. Getting no answer, I sat up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was hideous. My eyes were all red and dry. My lips were swollen.
"Kyo…" I rummaged through my bags to find this lipstick and powder Okuni-san gave me. I used it to cover up the mess. I combed my hair and let it hang freely. I have made a decision and I will fulfill it, until the last drop of my blood.
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I found out that Kyo was outside the inn, at the garden, meditating. He was closing his eyes and his Tenro was next to him. He sat cross-legged.
I walked slowly towards his direction; clutching the most important thing Muramasa-san gave me. I was sorry that I have to use it for this matter. I closed my eyes as my feet brought me closer to my problem.
"Kyo…"
He opened his eyes lazily. "What is it?"
"I have a gift for you, and you'd definitely like it. I'm sure." I clutched the short blade harder.
"What? Your makeover that makes you look like a whore? Or are you going to offer me your services?" he gave me a smirk.
"Not really, but better…" I took out the blade.
"What? You going to kill me?" he shook his head and laughed. "What a funny joke…"
I grabbed my long wheat-blonde hair and cut it at shoulder's length. I held it out in the space between us. "This…" I let it go and watched as the strands of my precious hair flow freely by the breeze, "Means that my life is mine to take…"
"And this…" I held my left hand out and cut my wrist deeply, severing my nerves along with my unwanted life, "Is my gift for you…"
Your eyes widened as my blood, flowing freely down my skin splattered on your face by the wind.
"It's beautiful… Kyo… blood on you is simply… beauti-" and I fell on top of you. Blurred as the image may be, I was sure you were smiling… I don't know why, but my instincts told me that you were not.
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I wanted to be sure you were smiling before I can leave the world in peace.
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