A/N: I'm doing a parody of a stupid story I found here by Dulcinea called The Raven. Look it up for a laugh.

*******Start Idiocy*

***** A/N- Hey every1 so like check out my other story because I'm like soooo cool! I made my own race called the Dream Elves. Aint I smart!?

*$* The Bat *$*

My father was like sooo mean and he was leaving me under a bush! He was tall and beautiful with long brown hair and little dots under his eyes. I asked him to wash his face cuz he had dirt on it but he was all mad that I thought he was dirty and said I had them too and stuff. So like, he gave me a little trinket and told me to look both ways before crossing a street before leaving. I was soo mad, and it was gnarly how I was supposed to get around in my dress in the forest!

Madula oblonggata m'fries supersizia! (My heart will like break into a million pieces until I see your hot little ass again) he said as he disapeared.

Lle dumbasswhyn (Why are you leaving you bastard! Mamma told me you was mah daddy!) I whispered.

So I stayed under the bush and like I noticed only after he left that something might have used the bush as it's toilet and I had poop on the hem of my dress. That is where I stayed until someone found me. I was only ten at the time.