A Day in the Life
A/N: YES. Finally, some humor to brighten up all the drama I keep writing...
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0500: Pass the security lockout codes, hide in the west corridor of the north wing. Security bypasses, see field notes
0600: Infiltrate Legion quarters, north wing, fifth level, east and south corridors
0700: Make magical breakfasts for Legionnaires that make them fall in love with the creators!
"Eee!!" A chorus of fangirl squeals resounded through the room. Day stood at the head of the room.
"Okay girls! I know most of you are excited, but don't forget your magic and your weapons! We might have to take out a few female rivals on the way!" A few fangirls growled. Day bobbed her head. "Everyone be ready at 0430!"
"It is 0430!" A random voice in the crowd called out. Day blinked and looked at her watch.
"Well...then...let's go!" The group of girls cheered and charged toward the Legion Tower, ready to make their fangirl dreams come true!
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"Brainy, Brainy! We've got another attack coming!" Chameleon Boy tugged on the android's sleeve. Brainy looked at the security recordings.
"Dear Coluan Collective..." Brainy gasped. He immediately threw the Legion Tower into red alert, waking up the hundreds of Legionnaires who all seemed to be in the Tower at one time. "They're back! Main targets and canons, get to the bunkers immediately! Females and unpopulars, prepare for battle! This is a N Level attack!" Brainy, Cham, Kell, Lightning Lad, Bouncing Boy, and TimberWolf all dashed into the safe house. Battle cries and screams could be heard through the titanium doors.
"Wha...Why do they keep doing this?!" Cham finally burst out.
"They won't stop until they have every fandom under their heel. They've already taken down several traditional Japanese animatics. They won't stop until every fandom is under their iron thumb!" Lightning Lad said darkly. Cham shivered.
"Wait, why are us canons in here? We don't need any protection." TimberWolf grunted.
"There are a few who would stand between us and out significant others. Like Brainy. He's got possibly billions of fangirls. Yet his significant other in his previous programming was In-" Lightning Lad started.
"Fiction, all of it. My supposed significant other is Shrinking Violet, Dream Girl if you prefer old school." Brainy cut Lightning Lad off with a glare.
"What are you talking about?!" Kell demanded. Cham shrugged.
"I dunno. I guess about their girlfriends?"
"WE DON'T HAVE GIRLFRIENDS!" Everyone but Kell and Cham yelled.
"You will soon. Looks like we're being pushed back. They prepared far too well. They brought a few fanboys to take care of the girls, and unknown fangirls have taken out the unpopulars." Cham poked his security monitor. "We have about ten minutes." Cham's monitor shook and wriggled out of Cham's hands, falling to the floor with an ungraceful thump. An explosion made the screen shake more, revealing villains of every shape and size and color. The fangirls looked mildly surprised, but their battle squeals quickly knocked out the stronger of the villains. One villain in particular paled, tossing Tharok and the Empress in the way of oncoming fangirl attacks. He ducked into the Tower and off of the screen.
"We have to do something! I'm not willing to sit in here all day while our world is getting dominated out there!" Lightning Lad hit a fist on the wall, his scar glowing in the low lighted safe room.
"No. As soon as they see us, they'll know we're at our last defenses." Brainy reasoned.
"Of course, since we've already taken over, you might as well come out!" Loud unearthly giggles erupted from the security monitor, abandoned on the floor. A girl by the name of Roxy was winking particularly at Brainy. Day was looking around for Cham. A few more Brainy fangirls crowded the camera, eager to see where their favorite Legionnaire was hiding.
"EEEE!! HE'S IN THERE!! WHERE'S ALICIA!!" The girl named Alicia popped up and placed an hand onto the camera. The Legionnaires blinked, then found themselves outside, being crowded and glomped by fangirls.
"HEEEELP!!" The fangirls took on a formation, with Day in the lead.
"We are the Legion of Superhero Fangirls!" Day pointed at the few Legionnaires that were still awake. "We have taken your enemies down. We have taken your collegues down. And now, we will finish the job by taking you down. We are the LoSFG. Do not resist!" Their signature chorus of squealing rang out just after Day's monologue. The Legionnaires winced as they were soon glomped into unconsciousness.
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The Legion has been taken down. The Legion universe is no longer safe.
Who can save this world from this overwhelming danger?!
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A hooded figure knelt in the eaves of the remodeled Legion of Superhero Fangirls Tower. He fingered the dust before nodding and mumbling a few numbers to himself.
Perhaps...
Perhaps this is the savior of New Metropolis...
Or perhaps not.
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A/N: Gawd. Insomnia+SugarMass crack chaos. HOW DID I COME UP WITH THIS?!