Rugrats Vulgar Hits
By Shadowgate
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Rugrats is owned by Nickelodeon. This is my first Rugrats Fan Fiction Story and it's Rated M for Language. If that's not bad enough Angelica gets the last laugh.
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Susie Carmichael was up and feeling energetic. She said out loud that "today is a wonderful day."
Angelica replied back "today is a wonderful day because I've discovered my talent in singing."
Susie asked "are the grownups around?"
Angelica answered "no."
Susie then said "okay Angelica I'm going to tell you the truth straight to your face, you can't sing worth a pile of dog shit."
Angelica became angry and said "how dare you use that kind of language to my face. My singing is super and furthermore I'm a princess and you don't cuss in front of a princess."
Susie asked "doesn't the truth hurt?"
Angelica said "I sang Living on a Prayer, Putting on the Ritz, and Total Eclipse of the Heart all on key."
Susie said "I'll bet I can get the babies to sing 10 songs and they'll sound better than you ever did."
Angelica said "I'll bet they screw up at least three if not all 10."
Susie said "I'll bet you just two out of ten."
Angelica said "awe three out of 10, those are good odds for me."
Susie replied back "alright and the loser has to be the winner's slave for a month."
Angelica said "DEAL!"
They shook on it and they were both confident.
Susie quickly rounded up the babies. When she called them Phil and Lil popped their heads up from behind the couch and Tommy came into the living room riding on Spike.
Tommy said "hey Susie."
Susie asked where Chuckie was and they told her they'd buried him in the sand box.
Susie ordered them to go dig up Chuckie because she had an exciting plan. Phil asked "what's the exciting plan? Are we going to build a rocket ship?"
Susie answered "well not that exciting but still it will be exciting."
After the whole gang was rounded up Susie said "we're going to sing songs and videotape ourselves. I'll pass out the music sheets."
The babies couldn't read so she had them listen to each of the songs.
SWEET CAROLINE
LIKE A PRAYER
HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH
HANGING TOUGH
DOCTOR FEELGOOD
LOSING MY RELIGION
SWEET CHILD O'MINE
I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT
YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVE AND FEELING
VENUS
Susie said "let's start singing."
THE BABIES START SINGING SWEET CAROLINE.
Where it began, I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growing strong
Oh, wasn't the spring, whooo
And spring became the summer
Who'd believe you'd come along
Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would
TOMMY SOLO
And now I, I look at the night, whooo
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two, oh
And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulder
How can I hurt when holding you
Oh, one, touching one, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
Oh I've been inclined to believe it never would
Ohhh, sweet Caroline, good times never seem so good
Susie: Way to go that was well sung.
Susie: Alright the next song is a classic by Madonna and it's called Like A Prayer.
Life is a mystery
Everyone must stand alone
I heard you call my name
And it feels like home
chorus:
When you call my name, it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there
I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing
I have no choice, I hear your voice
Feels like flying
I close my eyes, Oh God I think I'm falling
Out of the sky, I close my eyes
Heaven help me
(chorus)
Like a child you whisper softly to me
You're in control just like a child
Now I'm dancing
It's like a dream, no end and no beginning
You're here with me, it's like a dream
Let the choir sing
LIL SOLO
Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there
Just like a prayer, I'll take you there
It's like a dream to me
Susie: Way to go Lillian you just might very well be the next Madonna.
Susie went on to say "alright the next song is Heaven is a Place on Earth and Phil you sing solo."
The babies start off.
Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth,
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
When the night falls down
I wait for you
And you come around
And the world's alive
With the sound of kids
On the street outside
When you walk into the room
You pull me close and we start to move
And we're spinning with the stars above
And you lift me up in a wave of love...
Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth ?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth,
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
When I feel alone
I reach for you
And you bring me home
When I'm lost at sea
I hear your voice
And it carries me
In this world we're just beginning
To understand the miracle of living
Baby I was afraid before
But I'm not afraid anymore
Susie said "Phil you sing solo."
Phil sings "ohh baby did you look up Lil's skirt? The sight is so ugly it should have no place on earth."
Lil screamed "PHIL THAT'S NOT FUNNY YOU FUCKED UP THE SONG AND HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY PRIVATES!"
Phil, Tommy and Chuckie are in shock and Susie tells Lil to calm down.
Angelica points out that's the first song they screwed up.
Susie said "okay Angelica but I still feel confident. Now the next song we're going to sing is called Hanging Tough by the New Kids on the Block."
Tommy said "yesterday I heard some big kids say that the New Kids on the Block are a band of faggots."
Chuckie replied "oh faggots are bad, they touch children in no-no spots."
Susie commented "faggot is a bad word used against homosexuals and the New Kids are not homosexuals."
Chuckie said "well some people say they are bad and the song Hanging Tough sounds scary. We better not sing it."
Tommy said "I'm with Chuckie on this."
Angelica said "that's two."
Susie stepped out of the room to regain her concentration.
When she got back into the room Angelica said "I'm just hanging around to make sure you don't fuck with the camera. I don't want any cheating. As of right now two songs went down hill. Just one more and you're my slave for the week."
Susie turned her head away from Angelica to focus on the babies.
She told them the next song they'd sing is Doctor Feelgood.
"DR. FEELGOOD"
RAT TAILED JIMMY IS A SECOND HAND HOOD
HE DEALS OUT IN HOLLYWOOD
GOT A '65 CHEVY, PRIMERED FLAMES
TRADED FOR SOME POWDERED GOODS
JIGSAW JIMMY HE'S RUNNIN' A GANG
BUT I HEAR HE'S DOIN' O.K.
GOT A COZY LITTLE JOB, SELLS THE
MEXICAN MOB
PACKAGES OF CANDYCAINE
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL
HE'S THEONE THAT MAKES YA FEEL ALRIGHT
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL
COPS ON THE CORNER ALWAYS IGNORE
SOMEBODY'S GETTING PAID
JIMMY'S GOT IT WIRED, LAW'S FOR HIRE
GOT IT MADE IN THE SHADE
GOT A LITTLE HIDEAWAY, DOES BUSINESS ALL DAY
BUT AT NIGHT HE'LL ALWAYS BE FOUND
SELLING SUGAR TO THE SWEET
PEOPLE ON THE STREET
CALL THIS JIMMI'S TOWN
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL
HE'S THEONE THAT MAKES YA FEEL ALRIGHT
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL
HE'S GONNA BE YOUR FRANKENSTEIN
CHUCKIE SOLO
I'VE GOT ONE THING YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
HE'S NOT WHAT YOU'D CALL A GLAMOROUS MAN
GOT ONE THING THAT'S EASILY UNDERSTOOD
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL
HE'LL TELL YOU HE'S THE KING
OF THESE BARRIO STREETS
MOVING UP TO SHANGRI-LA
CAME BY HIS WEALTH AS A MATTER OF LUCK
SAYS HE NEVER BROKE NO LAW
TWO TIME LOSER RUNNING OUT OF JUICE
TIME TO MOVE OUT QUICK
HEARD A ROMOUR GOING ROUND
JIMMY'S GOING DOWN
THIS TIME IT'S GONNA STICK
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL
HE'S THEONE THAT MAKES YA FEEL ALRIGHT
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL
HE'S GONNA BE YOUR FRANKENSTEIN
LET HIM SOOTHE YOUR SOUL, JUST TAKE HIS HAND
SOME PEOPLE CALL HIM AN EVIL MAN
LET HIM INTRODUCE HIMSELF REALGOOD
HE'S THE ONE THEY CALL " "
Susie: Way to go!
Angelica is annoyed by the comeback her opponents made.
Susie said "let's move on to Losing My Religion."
Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
TOMMY SOLO
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
Susie: Well done that's a rap.
Angelica starts to shake from the success.
Susie then tells them they're going to perform the 1987 GNR classic Sweet Child O-Mine.
All four babies sing.
She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that
special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine
She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me
of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine
Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o' mine
THE BABIES HIT OFF THE 1987 CLASSIC GUNS N ROSES SONG SO WELL ANGELICA RUSHED TO THE KITCHEN TO GET WATER.
Didi asked Angelica if she was okay and Susie answered on her behalf "she's fine Aunt Didi we were just playing a heated game of hide and seek."
Angelica nodded thus going along with Susie.
Angelica went out in the yard to help Stu who got his foot stuck in the ground.
Back in the living room Susie says "the next song is a one hit wonder called I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight."
The babies start to sing.
I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don't see an easy way out of this
Her diary, it sits on the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cat's in the cradle
Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this
TOMMY SOLO
CHORUS:
Oh, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away, I should've walked away
Is there any just cause for feeling like this
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet, but then blow it again
I've lost and found, it's my final mistake
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cause I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times
CHORUS
It was a long hot night
She made it easy, she made it feel right
But now it's over, the moment is gone
I followed my hands, not my head,
I know I was wrong
Susie said "alright the next song is about a lost love and Phil and Lil can do a solo together.
You never close your eyes anymore
when I kiss your lips
And there's no tenderness like
before in your finger tips
You're trying hard not to show it
But baby, baby I know it
You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Oh that Lovin' Feeling
You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Now it's gone gone gone oh oh oh
There's no welcome look in your
eyes when I reach for you
And girl you're starting to
criticize little things I do
Ooh, it makes me just feel like crying (baby)
'Cause baby something beautiful's dying
PHIL AND LIL SING SOLO
You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Oh that Lovin' Feeling
You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Not it's gone gone gone oh oh oh
Baby baby I get down on my knees for you
If you would only love me like you used to
(If you would only love me love me)
We had a love, a love that you
don't find everyday
(A love you don't find)
So don't don't don't let it slip away (away)
So don't don't don't let it slip away (away)
I said baby
Baby
Baby
Baby
I need your love (I need your love)
I need your love
So bring it on back (bring it on back)
Now bring it on back
Now bring it on back
You've got to bring back that lovin' feeling
Oh that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling
'cause it's gone gone gone
oh oh oh
Bring back that lovin' feeling
Oh that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling
'cause it's gone gone gone
Bring back that lovin' feeling
Oh that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling
'cause it's gone gone gone
Bring back that lovin' feeling
Oh that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling
'cause it's gone gone gone
Susie said "the last song is called Venus."
Susie said "Tommy you do the solo."
Susie said "1, 2, 1, 2, 3"
A Goddess on a mountain top
Was burning like a silver flame
The summit of Beauty in love
And Venus was her name
REFRAIN:
She's got it yeah, Baby, she's got it
Well, I'm your Venus, I'm your fire
At your desire
Her weapon were her crystal eyes
Making every man mad
Black as the dark night she was
Got what no-one else had
REFRAIN
She's got it yeah, Baby, she's got it
Tommy solo
"I'm your penis!"
Angelica busted out laughing.
Susie said "okay you win Angelica."
Phil asked "what does she win?"
Angelica answered "Susie and I had a bet on how many songs you'd mess up. If you only messed up two I'd have to be her slave for month. Three or more now she's fucked ha ha ha."
Chuckie said "oh Tommy you really fucked things up for Susie."
Tommy shot back "CHUCKIE FINISTER SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Chuckie said "I don't have to."
Tommy said "I'll kick your ass you sissy little daddy's boy."
Chuckie said "oh yeah I think I can handle you Tommy because I'm older."
Tommy and Chuckie start wrestling but Susie tells them to stop.
Tommy said "I wish I'd known about the bet I would have tried harder."
Chuckie said "Tommy I'm sorry for being so mean to you."
Phil said "I'm sorry I messed up on my solo."
Lil said "I'm sorry Susie that you have to be Angelica's slave now."
Susie said "I'm sorry I put you babies through this without telling you."
Angelica said "I'm not sorry for anything."
THE END