Title: Havoc's Guide to Movie Dates

Author: S J Smith

Rating: K+

Summary: Havoc's the expert at movies. Or dating. Or something.

Disclaimer: If I had any part of this, I wouldn't wonder if I can pay my bills this month.

"Best movie to take a date to?" Havoc leaned back in his chair, cigarette smoke spiraling up over his head. "And you're asking me why?"

"Well, uh, you have kind of a reputation…."

"Yeah, for having lousy luck in women," Breda snorted.

"Shut it," Havoc said, pitching a paper wad at Breda.

"No, I have calculated all of your past dates," Falman said, pulling out a manila folder and thumping it on his desk. "You do have horrible luck with the women you've dated." He raised his eyebrows at Havoc. "I can go into detail."

"You can not," Havoc said, horrified.

Falman folded his arms, a 'dare me' expression on his face.

"Back to the movie?"

"Yeah, yeah," Havoc said, his glare failing to intimidate Falman at all, so he turned back to his interrogator. "It kind of depends on what the girl likes, you know? Some of them get turned on by a romance, but those aren't always the best for a guy to sit through. Unless it's got some action to it, with some car chases or gunfights or something. Then there's the tearjerker – something that's gonna make her cry." He wrinkled his nose. "It's not that great for a date, in my opinion – you'll get this weepy girl who just wants to sob about how sad the movie is, and cuts into your special time, 'cause you gotta comfort her."

"So, no tearjerkers…how would I know if a movie is or not?"

"Generally, look at the poster. If it says, 'Sweeping Dramatic Romance!', that's a head's up." Havoc tapped the ashes off the end of his cigarette.

"What else?"

"Well, my personal favorite is the monster movie." He grinned in satisfaction. "Gets the heart pumping, and the girl'll just about jump in your arms. Afterward, she might need some comforting, but it's a different kind of comforting, she's not gonna be all sobbing. She might be more cuddly." His smile widened. "That's pretty nice."

"So…monster movies or a romance, but not one that's dramatic. Got it." Al finished writing his notes. "Thanks, Second Lieutenant Havoc!"

"So, uh, you got a date?" Havoc asked as Al started for the office door.

Al called over his shoulder, "No, Brother wanted me to find out what kind of movie he shouldn't take Elicia Hughes to. Now we know what to avoid!"

Havoc pointed at Falman without looking. "Not my date," he said, "don't you dare put that down on my list."

~ end ~