Jay walked down the hallway with a smirk, it was the last quidditch game of the season and Gryffindor had it in the bag. It probably helped that along with being the Captain and a Beater, he was best friends with Mal, the head of the Slytherin team, and ergo knew precisely how best to tick her off mid-game.
He headed to the dining hall alone, but nearly everyone he passed gave him a high five or a pat on the back. No one minded anymore that he was a thief who could flirt his way out of any situation. If anything it just made him more of a hero, no one else could sweet talk McGonagall out of taking the Transfiguration OWL, no one else could butter up Snape to the point the professor practically preened with pleasure anytime Jay got an answer correct, or only shook his head in slight disappointment when Jay inevitably blew up another cauldron.
Yeah, Jay pretty much had it all, except for one thing: Carlos De Vil.
Jay had been practically mooning over the nerdy Hufflepuff since he stood behind him in line to be sorted as first years. Carlos had tripped over his robe and Jay had helped him up, and the moment their eyes met, Jay fell hard.
It started out as a harmless crush, a kiddie infatuation filled with longing glances and copious amounts of blushing for Jay. It developed into what Mal described as a "borderline stalkerish obsession in a sweet innocent sort of way," This of course had left Jay with an even redder blush on his face as he snapped at Mal telling her to go find her girlfriend Evie and make out or do whatever girls in relationships do.
What Jay really didn't get was why Carlos hadn't acknowledged Jay's feelings for him yet. Everyone at Hogwarts knew about the Gryffindor Beater's obsession with the shy Hufflepuff, everyone that is, except Carlos himself.
Jay's first attempt at actually wooing Carlos happened during their third year around Valentine's Day. Some seventh year had remembered that back when they were first years, a teacher had hired dwarfs to hand out Valentines, and if you payed them enough, to sing. Jay knew it was stupid but he couldn't help but think that it might the sort of thing Carlos would like, so he pickpocketed the cash off an unsuspecting first year and payed the surly diaper clad dwarf. Apparently, a lot of other kids had hired the same dwarf however, as it wasn't until dinner that the grumpy oaf got around to the Hufflepuff. Jay watched the dwarf approach Carlos out of the corner of his eye, careful not to let any of his teammates know he had sent someone a love note.
The dwarf reached up and rudely tapped Carlos' arm, Carlos turned around with that same damn smile that he had given Jay back in their first year. Jay couldn't really hear what the dwarf said to Carlos but then the dwarf burst out into song.
"I think the universe is on my side!" The Dwarf belted out at a low raspy pitch, "Heaven and Earth have finally aligned!" The dwarf suddenly switched to a screeching falsetto, "Days are good! And that's the way it should be!" The ugly little thing swung his arms wide in an over exaggerated gesture as he sank to one knee and procured a slightly crumpled box from his diaper. "Alrigh' here's ya chocolate from ya loverboy-" The nasty creature looked down at his list of names. Panicking, Jay quickly piled his mashed potatoes onto his spoon and flung it at the dwarf, for a brief second time slowed as the potatoes flew through the air and landed on the warty backside of the creature. The dwarf whirled around in a rage while the rest of the occupants of the great hall roared with laughter. A stray piece of Chicken Tikka flew into the air, landing perfectly onto Professor Snapes greasy head, sauce dripping into ears. A fleet of lima beans nailed Jane the Hufflepuff straight in the face before tumbling down her dress. Chad, a sixth year Gryffindor prefect was assaulted by several salads and pieces of various sliced fruit, Lonnie, a seventh year from Ravenclaw was leading a full on battalion armed to the teeth with tomato canons, chocolate fondue filled catapults, and oranges. But best of all, some first year had the balls to poor a glass of pumpkin juice over Ben, the Head Boy.
Jay quickly ducked under the Gryffindor table and crawled over to the Slytherin table where Mal and Evie where back to back, fending off an audacious Hufflepuff with a loaf of French bread.
"You'll never take me alive!" She cried before switching sides with Evie so the blue haired beauty could splash a goblet of milk at the kid.
Jay looked up at his friends, both silently agreeing that this was an epic fail.
But of course, it wasn't as bad as what he did his fourth year.