Phone Messages
The following takes place on Roy Mustang's answering machine after a long day's work.
Answering machine: "You have one…hundred new messages."
Roy: (sigh) "Might as well get this over with."
Answering machine: "First message" (beep): COLONAL MUSTANG! MY DEAR FRIEND, HOW ARE YOU? IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG! WE MUST HAVE A GET TOGETHER ON THE NEXT SPECIAL OCCASION AND DISCUSS MY FAMILY LINIAGE! DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HOW THE ARMSTRONGS WERE THE FIRST TO INVENT THE ANSWERING MACHINE? WHAT A FINE CONTRAPTION IT IS. IT ALL STARTED BACK WHEN MY GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT-(beep)
Roy: "Damn Armstrong, leaving long messages. Wonder what the next message is."
Answering machine: "Second message" (beep): GREAT, GREAT, GREAT GRANDFATHER ON MY FATHER'S SIDE GOT INTO THE MACHANICAL BUSINESS. THE IDEA CAME TO HIM ONE DAY WHEN-(deletes message)
Roy: 'HOW MANY DAMN MESSAGES DID HE LEAVE?!'
Answering machine: "Third message" (beep): Well, well, well, look who finally got an answering machine, it's about time you got one! This is the Furher speaking. Listen, I have a stack of papers for you to sign for the go ahead on an inspection of lab five. It shouldn't take too long, its only 465 pages. Don't forget to sign each one! beep
Roy: "More paper work? I don't have time for this! What's the next message?"
Answering machine: "Fourth message" (beep): 'Dammit, he's not there! Every time I call him he never picks up. Does he have caller ID or something? Probably has my name under "Pipsqueek," that sarcastic bastard, ALWAYS has some kind of pun waiting for me when I get there. When I get my hands on that guy I swear I'm gonna-'…'Hey, brother'…'Yea, Al?'...'Didn't Mustang get a new answering machine?'…..'Oh sh-beep
Roy: (angry twitch) "ELRIC!"
To Be Continued