You say the Dream
Brittana week Day 6: Canon – In which Santana really hates Louisville and Brittany just wants to help her build a new dream
It's the first weekend that Santana is back. She's been at Louisville for four weeks, that's one whole month. When Santana shows up at her house tossing rocks at her window like she used to, Brittany all but forgets the disappointment of seeing Santana offline again for their Friday night Skype date.
"What is the meaning of this?" She tries her hardest to not crack the smile that is forcing its way onto her face. She's been mad at Santana dozens of times but not really. "I was waiting for you to be online."
Santana shrugs her shoulders and hugs her coat closer, not sure how to explain. She knows her actions can be justified but missing Skype dates with Brittany were just one of the things she hated about being at Louisville. "I'm here now, I thought it'd be nicer to have a real date and not you trying to feed me carrot cake through the camera."
"I'm not hallucinating right?" Brittany squints.
"You're not, I'm here and…do you want to go on a date with me?" Santana asks in the meekest most apologetic voice. There's no way Brittany can say no, she's actually jumping on the inside because Santana is here and that almost makes up for all the missed dates – almost.
"I'll be right down."
Three minutes later, Brittany is ignoring all her moms' questions only saying "Santana's here," like that will explain everything. She gets into the front seat as Santana shuts her door and gets in the driver's side.
"I really missed this car, there aren't many red ones around here and now I just go in my dad's pick-up. I miss the days when I was cool." Brittany complains with that tint in her voice that says you know what I mean. Santana has enough experience with Brittany's hidden meanings to know that it means I really miss you.
"I miss you too Britt."
Brittany smiles – her really big, contented one – and holds Santana's hand over the console the whole way to where they're going. She doesn't ask where, she only asks to be with Santana wherever that may be.
Their destination turns out to be the place where they had their first date as girlfriends, well not actually, that was in the bathtub, but the first date in a public place. It's nearly midnight and Breadsticks is empty. The waiters and waitresses are beginning to clean up and close shop but according to the sign, it says Breadsticks is open till 2am.
Santana leads them to their table, the one they always sit at, in the section that the waitress in charge is most afraid of Santana. It's a long story, one that involves unsatisfactory food and a mouse tail, but ever since they've pretty much been able to get anything off her.
They order and Santana tells Brittany to get shrimp because this is a date. It makes Brittany laugh that Santana can still remember.
"So, I can't believe you're here and we're having a date on Friday night. Well technically it's Saturday morning."
"Sorry it's a bit late, that I'm a bit late" Santana grins. "How have you been?"
"It's been a bit rough. I lost my presidency to Blaine."
"I'm sorry," Santana cringes; she's been saying it a lot recently. "I mean, not just for that…things have been tough for me too and I don't always have time for you."
Brittany nods in understanding when really she doesn't understand why they aren't working. If Santana is busy on Friday nights or any other evening she should just tell Brittany so they can work out a different schedule.
The food arrives at the most convenient of times as both girls seem at loss of what to say. Santana's digging into her salad, trying her hardest not to attack it – she's hungry, like always really hungry. Brittany's eating her dish of spaghetti but she notices, like she always does when there's something wrong with Santana.
"Are you okay?" She breaks the silence. "Do you need a burger or something?"
Santana's fork drops with a clatter, an olive still speared onto it. "I'm fine Brittany, let's not ruin date night with my problems."
The tone in her voice is enough to make Brittany stop eating and put her own cutlery to the side. "Santana, we haven't done this in a while and this is really nice but you just got back and clearly something is wrong. I don't want to spend date night eating in silence; my girlfriend might as well be back in her dormitory."
"Do you not want me to be here?" Santana knows she's being unfair. She knows Brittany has only the best intentions for her – that's why she's in Louisville. But maybe that's not what she wants anymore.
"Of course I want you here; I just want you to be here. Tell me what's wrong, Santana? Are you happy at Louisville?"
And just like that, Brittany knows. How she does it Santana will never be able to comprehend.
"No, not really," Santana admits. She hopes Brittany doesn't look too disappointed – after all, she did go through all the trouble of helping her get to college. When she looks up, Brittany has only sympathy on her face.
"Santana, then why didn't you tell me? You're so silly sometimes." Brittany shakes her head.
"I didn't want to worry you," Santana says, "You already have to deal with school and…"
"Hey, remember what I told you about being girlfriends?"
Santana wracks her brain. Brittany's said a lot of things about loving her more than anybody in the world and being her girlfriend proudly so.
"I said it's a partnership."
"You say the dream and I help build your dream," Santana quotes.
"Yes, and if you don't tell me, then I won't know what your dream is." Brittany says like it's the simplest thing in the world. No other logic can beat that.
"Fine, I'm going to be really honest which I haven't been in a long time. Not to you of course," Santana quickly recovers.
"I wasn't worried," Brittany sucks on a shrimp, relieved that Santana is now talking to her.
"Okay, honestly it sucks there. Not only am I far away from you and sleep with a picture of us under my pillow so I can wake up in the middle of the night and stare at it and cry over it like some love sick moron but the girls there are terrible."
"Hey being sentimental does not make you a moron, only a loving girlfriend. And aren't there any hot girls there?" Brittany jokes.
"Sure! Remember that girl who sent me that cardinals video welcoming me to the team? Yeah, turns out she's gay and she's really gay for me. But she's a bitch and as a closeted bitch I can't handle that. Plus I already have a girlfriend" Santana winks at her and covers Brittany's hand. A quick glance at the napkin has them both reeling.
"But no, really," Brittany says, recovering from laughter, "That's just sad Santana. When I told you to be nice and not a bitch I didn't mean for you to stop being your awesome self."
"It's just hard Brittany; there are so many girls to compete with."
"There's no one like you Santana, you don't have to compete."
"Did I ever tell you how awesome you are?"
"I kind of already know."
Santana takes the opportunity to steal a shrimp which Brittany snatches back. "Let me." She holds it out for Santana to suck it from her fingers. It's so girlfriendy and mushy but Santana loves it.
"So, about this salad…" Brittany points to Santana's plate.
"I have to be thinner, everyone on the squad is a toothpick and this is the big league Britt, not high-school."
"But that doesn't make sense; you're like the hottest girl in the world. Who would want to date a toothpick anyway?"
The statement makes Santana laugh. She knows it's ridiculous, the standards the cheerleaders are put up to, but she's had to try and fit in.
"So, what's your new dream Santana?" Brittany asks.
"Britt, I'm just realizing my old one is a nightmare, give me some time."
"Anything for you – anything."
One of the things Santana misses the most is sleeping with her girlfriend and making love to her.
Saturday morning, they're lazing in bed at Santana's house when Maribel comes in. There's a whole lot of Spanish exchanged, meaning that Maribel doesn't want Brittany to hear what they're talking about, before Santana's mother's face softens as she says 'good morning, nice to see you around again.'
"So, what was that?" Brittany asks. She may have passed Spanish but Will Shuester isn't the best speaker and the Lopez's speak at least five times as fast.
"Mom woke up to find my dirty laundry on the couch. She's mad that the laundry is the only reason she figured I was home."
"You didn't tell her you were back? So that's why we climbed the tree."
"Yeah, and now I have to get up and take care of my laundry." Santana kisses Brittany on the forehead and gets up. As for Brittany, she appreciates the view of Santana's naked ass from the bed before she joins Santana in the shower.
For all the fuss Santana makes about doing a chore, she finds the laundry place's supply room is perfect for some steamy fun-times with Brittany. It's the most exhilarating and exhausting chore she's ever done, and honestly, she wouldn't mind coming back every week to do her laundry like this.
Sunday rolls around and Santana has to go back to Louisville.
"What are you going to do?" Brittany puts the last of Santana's neatly folded clothes in her bag. Since Brittany packed it so well, there's some space left and Santana considers stuffing Brittany in there and taking her to Louisville.
"I'm going to think about it." It's enough for Brittany for now.
Two weeks later Santana calls her and says she has a new dream.
"You know what I realized? I miss glee club and not because of its drama and the constant stealing of boyfriends and girlfriends. I miss the singing and dancing – I think I want to go to New York."
Brittany kind of wishes she didn't push Santana to find a new dream – one that will take her far away to New York. But she says she's happy anyways because this is her showing support - she's going to help Santana build her new dream even if it's breaking her apart piece by piece. But she does it anyways because that's what partners do.