A/N: Hey guys, Iamboria here. Normally I would write a fairly long description, but all I can say about this fic is that it was a really bad idea I just went with. It's quite stupid, and not meant to be taken seriously. However, I love it all the same... Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fic!
DISCLAMER: I do not own Steven Universe, Pokémon, or any of the characters in those series.
It was a beautiful day in Beach City. The sun was shining, and all the people were outside enjoying the weather. Well, all except a young boy named Steven.
"Gosh, this is so BORING." he whined. The gems had told him to wait in the house while they went on an important mission. However he was still grounded from TV, so he had nothing to do.
"I guess I'll have to read a book..." he sighed as he went to go find some reading material.
"DID SOMEONE SAY THEY WERE GOING TO READ?!" a voice called.
"Who's there?" Steven questioned
His question was answered when a bipedal flaming bird crashed through the roof.
"I'm Blaziken, and I'm the most amazing pokémon ever. I'm here to save you from the travesty that is reading with some MLG gaming." the creature replied pompously.
"How would you know that you're the best? Aren't there like, hundreds of different pokémon?"
Blaziken let out a deep sigh "Kid, I'm in a group of the coolest pokémon around"
"Really?" Steven beamed, "What's it called?"
Blaziken glanced around, making sure no one was listening. "It's called... UBERS!" Blaziken cawed.
"Cool, but... What's ubers?" Steven asked, thoroughly confused.
"I'll show you. Hop on!"
"But Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl said I have to stay here!"
"Who cares about them? They're not MLG enough to hang with an Uber like me. Besides, don't you want to meet the best pokémon around? "
"Sure, but..."
Without warning, Blaziken grabbed Steven and soared out of the house the same way he came in. Within seconds, they were soaring high above... Hoenn?
"I THOUGHT YOU COULD ONLY SOAR ON A LATIAS IN HOENN!" Steven screamed "AND YOU CAN'T EVEN LEARN FLY!"
"MLG pokémon don't need to follow rules, Steven." Blaziken smirked, "We create the rules!"
Soon after, they flew through a rip in the space-time continuum and landed in a living room with the coolest pokémon around. They were munching out on doritos and playing video games like true MLG pokémon.
Xerneas noticed the sudden appearance and handed Blaziken a bottle of Mountain Dew.
"YO EVERYBODY! BLAZE IT IS BACK! "
Blaziken and his half-human companion shuffled their way through the place, talking to a few random pokémon on their way.
"Hey, what up Slash? Your sword's looking pretty sharp today." Aegislash showed off his blade, making a slicing motion "Good form, dude."
"Woah, Greninja, didn't think I'd see you here today." Greninja shook his head "Naw, man. When I heard you were coming back, I had to be here. STARTER SQUAD FOR LIFE!"
Eventually, they reached the main attraction; a huge sofa seated in front of the largest TV Steven had seen in his life. They were playing Smash Bros, but not the new one because true gamers only play Melee. Blaziken went up to greet his homies.
"Mewtwo! Bringing the punish, as always. "
"You know it!" He motioned to Darkrai, who was sitting beside him "Hey man, pass the weed!"
"Klefki, you still playing your tricks?"
"Mind games are the best games... " he replies, grabbing another handful of doritos.
"Arceus! Working those godlike wavedashing skills, I see."
"Yup! Hey, who's that human looking fellow with ya? "
"I'm Steven, and I'm a Crystal Gem!" he replied, still hanging on Blaziken's back.
"What are you guys playing?"
"Only the best game EVER!" Groudon yelled. "Smash Bros Melee!"
"Oh, I have one of those games! It's really fun! It's called Smash Bros Brawl! "
The entire room went silent. They could not believe that Blaziken had brought a...
"FILTHY CASUAL!"
The pokémon were in hysterics. Chairs were thrown, and everyone was in a panic to find The Big Red Button You Press When Casuals Breach The Pad.
"What's going on?" Steven stuttered, cowering in fear.
"FOUND IT!" Yveltal screamed, and as he was about to press the button, there was another yell from across the room.
"STOP!" Blaziken called. "He doesn't know what he's saying. HE'S JUST A CHILD."
"Still, his behaviour is unacceptable." Deoxys remarked. "He can't stay here if he continues to act like this."
"We can teach him! We can show him why The Game Whose Name Shall Not Be Metioned is awful, and how to be a real gamer! "
"Excellent idea! Though it will take a lot of work... We'll have to start immediately!" Genesect said excitedly.
The pokémon set to work, teaching the young half-gem how to play competitive Melee.
Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst arrived on the temple warp pad.
"Yo Steven, wanna see what we found?" Amethyst called.
When there was no answer, Amethyst went looking. "Uh... Steven?"
"Oh no!" Pearl shrieked. "Where's... STEVEN?!"
There was a note on the coffee table. Pearl picked it up with shaking hands and read it aloud.
"Crystal Scrubs,
Me and Stee-Bomb are hanging out with the Ubers. He'll be back... eventually. And if you casuals try to breach the pad to get him, you will be eliminated with our raw MLG power. Left you a joint in case you need to chill.
Peace, Blaziken"
"Oh my goodness, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! HE COULD BE ANYWHERE!" Pearl screamed.
"Pearl, calm down." Garnet added.
"Garnet, do you have any idea where he is?" Amethyst asked as Pearl continued to freak out.
"There's one place he could be... " she trailed off
"Garnet, you couldn't possibly be talking about..."
"Oh, yes. I'm afraid that it's most likely that Steven is at... Smogon."
A/N: OOOH SHIT! Steven is in big trouble! In all seriousness, I was thinking about adding more chapters to this. If you'd like to see that, please let me know. I hope you enjoyed this (admittedly stupid) fanfic! Have an awesome day!
- Iamboria