"Hey doc you haven't left yet?" a patient asked.
"No my rounds haven't ended yet" I replied stifling a yawn.
"How long have you been working?" the patient asked.
"Since noon yesterday" I replied.
"So you've been here for about 15 hours now?"
"Yeah I have a 24 hour shift and then I'm done" I said.
"Ashley you need some sleep"
"Mrs. Nickerson I'm fine now let's get you back into bed" I said wheeling the old woman into her room.
"My Alyssa is picking me up tomorrow and I'm going to live with her from now on" she said.
"That's wonderful" I said "Alyssa is a good woman"
"What about you is your mother still living?" she asked.
"Yes she is she lives with my sister Adrian in Massachusetts" I replied "that's where I grew up in West Newbury, Massachusetts"
"She must be so proud of you"
"I really wouldn't know I haven't seen her in almost 7 years" I said.
"That's a pity" Mrs. Nickerson said as I was helping her back into bed "you are such a good girl you should go home and see her"
"It wouldn't be good for her to see me again" I said.
"I'm sure you are wrong it is always good to see our children" she said "I showed Alyssa the card your little boy drew me she thought it was so sweet"
"You are his favorite patient to come visit" I said tucking her in.
"I couldn't remember what you named him though" she said.
"Bruce Anthony Joseph Cena" I said.
"That's right but you call him Anthony" she said.
"Yeah Anthony was his father's middle name also"
"Will you tell me about where you grew up?" she asked.
"Sure, West Newbury is a small town in Massachusetts and when I say small I mean it but it was a great place to grow up. I met the love of my life in that town but that was years ago"
"Tell me about him" she said.
"What can I say he was my best friend we were always together as kids he was the first boy I ever kissed, also the first one to ever break my heart but you don't wanna hear about that. Anthony is all I have left of him now"
"You'll see him again one day" she said.
"Yeah I know I will" I patted her hand. "go to sleep now you have a busy day tomorrow"
"Will I see you before I leave?" she asked.
"Of course you will I would never let my favorite patient leave without saying goodbye" I smiled at her.
"Goodnight Ashley"
It was tough working at a hospital death was a main part of the building. As a child I hated the whiteness and the smell of the cleaners they used to clean hospitals with but now that doesn't bother me anymore. I was one of the best surgeons San Francisco Memorial had, which I was glad for because of my love of helping people. I was surprised when the elders had let me return to my normal life. I don't know how they did it but I was grateful. I would never be a solider of good for them anymore but in a way I was still helping them. I still held that resentment against them for taking away my family but not all of it was gone, I still had Anthony.
That little boy had saved my life in more ways than one. All I had to do was look into his big brown eyes and everything else in my life didn't seem so bad. He helped fill emptiness in my heart but my heart would never be whole again till I had John and my other children back. At night when I couldn't sleep I imagined what they looked like now. Boston was 7 now I wondered if he still had the beautiful blonde hair that I had loved so much. He was in the first grade now I wondered if he liked school and his teachers. Sophia and Logan were 4 now I hadn't seen them since they were 7 months old I wondered what they looked like also. Then there was John I wondered if deep down he ever thought of me maybe as a distant memory of the love we had once shared.
I sighed I would never see them again but I would always have my dream, the dreams where we could be a family.