Title: Between The Lines
Series: Teen Titans
Summary: One sided BB/Robin. When you look between the lines of his smiling face, his jokes are just a cover for the hole in his heart.
Chapters: 1
Rating: T for safety and themes.
A/N: Angst Does A Twisted Mind Good (that sounds dirty). Oh yeah, as in almost all of my TT stories, Terra never existed. (Expletive deleted)
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Watching the leader of the Titans cross the room was a pleasure. Robin moved with the grace of a jungle cat, all of the prowess and intensity of a predator on the hunt. Beastboy watched him every chance he got; around the tower, in the training room, and especially in battle.
To Beastboy, Robin was the paramount of beauty, while he was just a lowly rat. Beastboy would see Robin get himself a cup of coffee in the morning, marveling at how he handled everything, from the mug to the pot to the teaspoon with sugar. Beastboy had almost deified Robin, making him a god.
Love is not taught, love is learned.
Beastboy loved Robin with everything in his small being; he strived to be worthy in Robin's eyes. Robin never noticed, always being too busy tracking Slade or hanging all over Starfire.
Beastboy was of the most forgiving sort, for every time that he was ignored and his heart broke into thousands of tiny and trivial shards, he would pick up the pieces and continue on, smiling. His jokes were silly, childish, but they were his only comfort and support.
Beastboy was terribly alone.
Smiling and laughing, Beastboy ignored the pain. He hid his emotions so well, not even the empathy of Raven could reach into his soul to see his grief. Beastboy tried so hard to be worthy, not to himself, but to his friends…to Robin.
He appeared to be infantile, even lazy, but he was as much of a warrior as his beloved Robin. His jokes were only a mask, a cover for the hole in his heart.
Beastboy lived everyday optimistically, always refusing to give up hope. That somehow, just maybe, there was a chance for happiness in this cruel world.
Until one day, that sanguinity came crashing down.
Beastboy felt his heart rip out of his chest at the sight of Robin and Starfire holding hands in the common room. The rush of emotion, of pain that Beastboy had held back for so very long, knocked Raven out of her meditation.
No one else seemed to notice, so Raven took Beastboy into the kitchen, not really knowing the words he needed to hear.
"Beastboy…I," She paused. "I'm sorry it had to be this way. I'm sorry your hurting, but only time can heal you. Robin…he's not as perfect as you think. He deserves your respect, but he doesn't deserve your worship."
"I've been hurt before, and I'll be hurt again. It just doesn't seem worth it, somehow."
"I know, Beastboy. I know. But it'll get better, I promise." She smiled a little smile at him, hoping to ease the ache in his heart.
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"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain." Jim Morrison