Prologue

In this dark hall, there are two enormous statues standing side by side. They resemble the devil as both have horns protruding from their forehead. One held a sword and a shield. The other held a staff and a book, perhaps a grimoire, but all these traits are covered in the veil of the darkness. Instead, one would find a massive chair with intricate design in between the two hidden statues, illuminated by varying colors of moonlight that pierced the stained glass. One would immediately know that it belongs to a king and if one were able to spot the two statues, he would know it was of the devil king.

"Flash!" I shouted.

Immediately, the room was inundated with bright light cutting away the darkness, exposing the blasphemous statues. In front of the throne stood a giant armored to the tooth with the characteristic two horns piercing towards the roof. Anyone could tell that he was the devil king the owner of the throne. He stood there holding a sword without a cross-guard and a pommel, instead, in its place was an orb that glowed with sinister light. If the sword was to be held upside down, it would look like a staff. On the other hand, the devil king held a shield with archaic and mysterious inscriptions on it. If scholars or mages were to investigate it, they would be shocked to the core as they were chants for ancient spells that were long lost in the stream of time.

"Mages!" I commanded.

"Bottomless Swamp!"

"Inferno!"

"Cursed Lightning!"

"Tornado!"

Streams of spells were casted. A quagmire of rotten soil sprang up beneath the devil king swallowing his gigantic legs, rendering him immobile. Soon, a tornado, engulfed with fire and black lightning, was about to blast the devil king. However-

"Essence of Space"

The violent whirlwind of fire and lightning devoured the devil king. The mages smiled as their coordinated spells never disappointed them. However, I stood on guard as I saw the eyes of the two statues glowing with ominous light. Sensing the imminent danger, I ordered,

"Crusaders to the front! Mages prepare your defensive spells!"

The crusaders went to the front with their huge shields raised and the mages began their chanting. Soon, an ominous voice echoed the hall,

"Essence of Wind"

The tornado of fire and lightning exploded and its fragments rained upon the troops. Series of Wind Curtains were casted deflecting the fragments. With the spells gone, the devil king was exposed once again with no visible damage, standing tall and mighty. One of the inscription on his shield and the orb of his sword glowed with sinister light. Cries of shock, fear, and disappointment could be heard among the troops. It couldn't be helped. Their spells were effectively neutralized without a dent or scratch. But it wasn't the time to be disappointed.

"Priests cast your buffs!"

Series of Defense and Powered buffs were casted on the crusaders and Speed and Blessing buffs on the light troops such as the mages and the priests themselves, for evasion and mobilization.

"Essence of Time"

The sinister light gushed out of the orb and engulfed the sword. Then, time froze. The only one moving in this stationary world was the devil king. The devil king raised his sword to the side preparing to swing it horizontally. Then, he swung the giant sword. It was but a tiny slice of wind but it grew exponentially like a flutter of a butterfly through time. Soon, an avalanche of wind was fast approaching. If nothing is done, it would annihilate us in no time! Suddenly, a bright light shone from behind. It was a familiar light which indicated that the priests communed together to cast a spell.

""Sacred Break Spell!""

The motionless was once again in motion as the binding spell was broken. The crusaders steeled themselves in guard against the violence of time. The priests and the mages compressed themselves behind the crusaders with no consideration of casting a spell as it won't make it in time.

*BOOM*

The brutal sound of clash pierced our ears as we held them in our hands. Thankfully, the storm wasn't able to break past the crusaders. However, the damage was apparent as the crusaders were heavily injured. Without my order, the priests immediately began to heal the crusaders as they should. In order to distract the devil king, I casted two spells,

"Lightning Strike! Lighting!"

A huge lightning befell the devil king while a milder lightning was aimed at one of the statues. I aimed at the statue as I found their eyes glowing throughout the battle.

'Perhaps, it holds some significance to the devil king.'

"Essence of Space"

One of the inscriptions on the shield glowed with sinister light. The same light but translucent enveloped the devil king and the statue. The spells dissipated with no apparent damage but nevertheless, bingo!

With no waste in time, I began ordering the troops,

"Crusaders hold your ground! Mages prepare the Explosion! Priests prepare the Sacred Break Spell!"

Perhaps, the devil king noticed my plan, he impatiently casted spells in quick succession,

"Essence of Earth"

"Essence of Fire"

"Essence of Lightning"

"Essence of Wind"

Perhaps, in ridicule or in realization of its effectiveness, the devil king mimicked our coordinated spells. The earth enveloped us, rapidly swallowing our body. If it weren't for the priests casting the Sacred Break Spell, the earth would have consumed us. The raging hurricane was engulfed in crimson fire and abyssal lighting blasting towards the troops. The crusaders were ready this time, however, as they casted spells they didn't have the time for in the previous clash.

"Dome of Light."

"Perfect Guard."

A literal dome of light appeared around us, protecting us from any impending projectiles. The crusaders were then enveloped in a translucent light which extended to the dome, strengthening both of them. Soon, the hurricane of crimson and abyss met the dome of light. Blinding light filled the hall and the sound of clash echoed. The dome of light wasn't enough to stop the hurricane as it broke into smithereens but the crusaders stood tall and no magic passed through them.

""Explosion ready!"" Said the mages.

""Sacred Break Spell ready!"" Said the priests.

I immediately ordered the mages,

"Mages! Aim the statues!"

The mages did not hesitate, perhaps, in trust or in their realization of the devil king's weakness as they are quite intelligent themselves. Or was it too obvious?

Layers of crimson inscriptions appeared above the statues, as if coordinating the destination of the explosive fury. The devil king, in his defense, casted his spell, "Essence of Space," which enveloped himself and the statues. I shouted to the priests immediately,

"Priests!"

""Sacred Break Spell!"" Casted the priests.

The sinister light that once enveloped the statues and the devil king dissipated, leaving them naked to the fury above. Without further ado, I shouted,

"Now!"

""Explosion!""

*BOOOOOM*

The violent fury was unleashed on the statues and its aftermath gobbled down on the devil king who raised his shield beforehand. The wind surged forth toward us but the crusaders blocked it with their dome of light. The hall was destroyed. The roof and the walls behind the statues blew off, revealing the dawning sun. The spell I used to begin the battle, Flash, wore off. Then, a cluster of sinister light rose to the sky only to vanish. The smoke was soon cleared revealing the demon king with half of his body, including the shield, gone. Despite the sight before me, I never gave up my caution…but I wasn't cautious enough as I forgot the obligatory slip ups of my comrades.

"Is it done?"

"Whaaaat, I thought the devil king was strong but he was nuthin'!"

"We won! Yahoooo! I promised my lover that I would marry her if I beat this quest!"

"SHUT YOUR DAMNED MOUTHS!"

Flags of resurrection were spammed throughout the destroyed hall. Alas, I noticed the devil king stabbing the sword to the ground and chopping the orb off the sword, which he held it to the sky. I sigh with regret for I ever considered them my fellow otakus. How could they know no concept of flags!?

My comrades, or perhaps nemesis, were shocked by his sudden movement but still didn't regard him as much. After all, what can he do in such a state?

I wish I could punch them all in the face whoever thought of that, including myself.

"Essence of Life," said the devil king ominously.

The sinister light that was mildly glowing in the orb exploded to a massive size and entered into the devil king, which rapidly healed him. A new arm and a new leg as well as a new horn, the devil king was fully restored.

What is he? A Pic*olo?

"How can this be!?"

"Damn you! Phase-al boss!"

"Why is the world always against my love!?"

The devil king removed his helmet showing off his handsome features along with flowing golden hair. Damn, why do you have to make me feel insecure as well!? Go explode!

He began removing his broken armors. The shedding exposed the rock solid skin and muscles hidden beneath. Some stared in awe while others cursed him to oblivion and of course the obligatory squeaks of fan girls,

"Kyaaaaa~!"

In all seriousness, even without his armors, it seems that the damage to him would only slightly improve. Also, the devil king would likely focus on speed this time, evident in his removal of his armors. I immediately ordered the priests in preparation,

"Priests cast Defense, Speed, and Blessing on all of us!"

""Yes Sir!""

The devil king held the orb once more and casted one last spell before the orb broke into pieces,

"Essence of Inertia"

We are screwed aren't we?

The devil king held the sword once more and began dashing toward us. The crusaders came in formation to surround the devil king, which can be visualized by imagining a fish in the net. However, as I suspected, the last spell completely exempted him from the law of inertia. Before making contact with the crusaders, the devil king turned ninety degrees to the right then straight then backwards, without losing any speed! What's more impressive is his swordsmanship. Every time he passes by, one would surely fall to his sword. He began wreaking havoc within the troops, destroying the formation. He would slash with his sword and cast normal spells, unlike the law-defying ones, which were still extraordinary in strength.

I took out my legendary bow out of my inventory and pulled the string. Motes of light gathered together to form an arrow. I then casted a spell,

"Cursed Crystal Prison!"

The effects of the spell didn't materialize but rather, it was compressed and contained in the arrow. In other words, it is Enchanted. I aimed at the fast-moving devil king, more specifically at one of his feet. I took a deep breath. Slowly and carefully, I aimed at the target then-

"Snipe!"

The arrow pierced the air leaving behind flakes of snow. It passed overhead the troops, fast approaching the devil king's right foot. The devil king was about to swing his sword but the arrow was faster as it landed on his right foot. The arrow exploded engulfing the foot of the devil king in crystal ice, anchoring him to the ground. I then Sniped him in quick succession sealing his other foot then his legs, creeping slowly toward his torso. I knew it wouldn't last long so I commanded the troops to retreat and immediately ordered the priests and the mages,

"Priests cast the Sacred Create Water! Mages cast the Cursed Crystal Prison right after!"

""Yes sir!""

The devil king struggled to be freed from the ice prison. When he was successful at doing so, thankfully, the priests and the mages were ready.

""Sacred Create Water!""

A flood of water fell from the sky swallowing the devil king and unfortunately, some of our comrades. The mages inquired before casting their spell,

"Sir! There are people in the water, should we still cast the spell!?"

"Yes! Go! At worst, we can just resurrect them! Hurry!"

"But!"

"Look, this is my order and I will take full responsibility! I am quite lucky. You have nothing to worry about!"

"If you say so…"

""Cursed Crystal Prison!""

The water immediately began freezing, creating a huge crystal of ice. The devil king and the unfortunate people alike were made motionless, locked in place by the ice prison. There was one thing in common among them. All of them were spitefully staring at me, Satou Kazuma the scum. A multiple of cracks began running though the ice prison, breaking it apart. It eventually broke down into smithereens along with the bodies of those trapped within. Even the devil king had to meet the same fate. The battle, however, is not yet over as I ordered the priests to cast Speed buffs once more as I ordered,

"Bring the casualties away! Mages do you have enough mana for explosion?"

To my question, the mages seemed to be struck with confusion. After all, the devil king is smitten and broke into pieces and there is no way he can be brought back. However, I'd like to differ. No battle is over until every fiber of his being is erased from this world! I mean he may actually be C*ll not P*ccolo.

"Sir we don't have enough mana for the spell," one of the mages answered still in confusion.

"Alright then, all troops get away from the the devil king!"

After all the troops departed from the devil king, I began chanting the explosion magic, even as the devil king's fragments began to twitch,

"Oh, blackness shrouded in light,
Frenzied blaze clad in night,
In the name of the crimson demons,
let the collapse of thine origin manifest.
Summon before me the root of thy power hidden within the lands
of the kingdom of demise!"

I would usually cringe at such chuuni lines but they were chuuni because it had so much disparity to the reality. Now that the lines do not have much disparity, it actually sounds cool. Nevertheless, I should cast this spell before the tentacles protruding from the devil king's fragments grow any bigger.

"Explosion!"

Just as the tentacles were about to shape an evil face, the embodiment of destruction struck the devil king.

*BOOOOOM*

Every fiber and every cell of the devil king began disintegrating before the madness that is explosion. Every strand of his being is becoming a testament to the power of the spell, that none shall live to tell the tale. Now the devil king gone as well as my mana, I slumped against the hard floor. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't see the 'Congratulation' sign above me as I couldn't find any strength to move my head. Even with the devil king gone, the atmosphere was still quite tense until one of the troops began shouting in joy followed by the others.

"We won! We Won!"

"Damn! This is even harder than Abyss Souls!"

"Ada! I love you!"

"Nothing can stand between us Leon!"

Wow such a passionate display of affection with no regard to the stunned stares of the people.

"Darkness blacker than black…"

I began chanting the Explosion spell in vain as there was no mana to fuel it. Only virgin tears streamed down my face.

'Damn it! Why couldn't I fall facing the other way!?' I complained in my thought with tears.

A group of people eventually approached me. Oh finally, what took them so long to help me up? But…why do they look so angry? Why are they raising their feet right above me?

"Damn you! Scumzuma!"

"Trash! Trash! How could you do that to us!?"

"What will you do about our ZERO-DEATH records huh? Kazutrash!?"

They cursed as they began stomping and beating me. Oh no, my HP…

"Wait! Wait! Forgive me! Any more and I would die!"

"Go to hell you piece of trash!"

"That's right you shitty NEET!"

"Hey! I'm not a NEET!" I protested.

"Then why are you always online!?"

"…"

Bullseye. What can I say more? Why are you so cruel to bomb me with the truth? Are you American or something!?

After all the beating, I died. However, I was not resurrected as their ire was not subsided despite all the beating. I could only stare at the usual Ms. You-died. I took my head gear off and rose up from the bed.

"Damn them! Even though I'm the one who led us to the victory…"

That's right, without my amazing leadership and charisma (?) we would have lost even before the second phase!

"But this VRMMO is lit!" I exclaimed as I looked at the head gear, which is just a year old.

It felt so realistic and most of all fun! I could still feel the power of explosion in my skin even now!

I shook in excitement until I looked around the room. Stacked up anime goods, littered junks and cup noodles, and the wardrobe that contains my long unused school uniform. I am one of the respected...yes, respected leaders of the guild. My life is in full swing over there but in the real life...I'm just a NEET.

Damn, what a way to ruin the mood.

I shifted my gaze to the clock which indicated that it was now 5:00 AM. Oh it's already time. I have to go so I can line up for the Shekiro: Shadows Die Thrice - Easy Mode is for Scrubs Edition.

I wore my tracksuit and left behind my junk-littered room. I had to be as silent as possible to not wake my parents and little brother. I was successful at sneaking through the house and went out the door. I was met with the sun rising over the horizon, painting the sky with its orange hue. I stared at it in wonder of what my future upholds.

How long will I maintain this NEET life? Will I ever go back to school and get my life back on track? Even if I were to go back, I would only be studying non-stop till the end of college. Then what? I would be enslaved for all my life in a corporation. If I were to die in the end, why not just live doing what I want? The image of my disappointed parents as well as the disrespectful look of my little brother floated in my head for a moment, which I shook off by shaking my head before I sat on the bench of the bus station.

The bus soon arrived. I shrugged my lingering thoughts away as I got up the bus. There were only a handful of people on the bus as it was still too early. I took a seat and stared at the orange sky. With the scene set in motion, my thoughts drifted into the game I would buy without any notice of the storm that would shake my life upside down.

Notice: The art piece for this fanfic came from ErosPanda. You can look him up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook.

Author's Note: My first time ever writing anything like this so please go easy on me. Also, there might not be anymore fighting scene so don't be fooled by this prologue. Lastly, I will be borrowing some settings from other Konosuba Fanfic such as BoringBone's IRL. So my thanks in advance.

Special thanks to nhehvnukl for notifying me of the broken format.

Update: Since this story will be told in the perspective of Kazuma, I decided to remove the '...' which was used to show Kazuma's thoughts. It seemed redundant to have it.

P.S. the American joke was just a joke and I intend no offense at all.