nothing but memories they shall remain.
//
In the morning, Joe is that cool kid at school who's part of a famous teen boy band with the gorgeous blonde girlfriend and at night's he's that guy on the stage, breaking a thousand hearts because he's a star, somewhere in the sky and as he croons into the mic, he draws your heart out and leaves you starry eyed with dreams of your first real love. And he still has that lovely wonderful blonde girlfriend so it's another thousand or so hearts breaking all over again.
But in the afternoons, Joe is just another kid who needs to study to make the grade and there's this sweet girl, bright wonderful and warm who patiently corrects his mistakes and painstakingly explains concepts like permutations and combinations and gives him a star every time he get's more than an eighty on practice tests.
She's Macy and Joe loves afternoons best because he's just another guy and Macy simply glows in the light of the sun breaking through the windows.
When she tucks her shiny, silky hair behind her ears and pores over his worksheets while, scrunching her nose, Joe ponders love, Macy and Stella.
He loves Stella no doubt. Stella is the girl who's always been there, smiling, laughing and sometimes they fight and shed tears and then they make up but Stella has still been there no matter what and Joe can't even fathom a day or a life where Stella does not exist. Stella is the constant and Joe loves her so much and has always done.
But he loves Macy too. It's something he can't explain. An inexplicable pull towards her that slowly made its self known over many afternoons spent at the kitchen table with sheets filled with figures spread around them. He's known Macy only for a few months or so but sometimes, it feels like he's known her far longer. It's over half done worksheets he comes to know that Macy loves teaching and learning and that she doesn't watch sports because she get's too invested either way and really, some athletes are plain stupid tactically. She reveals this with a faint blush and Joe doesn't think that this is odd, that all these things he learns about her aren't new but rather, they are just parts to the sum of a whole – Macy.
He feels guilty though. There's Stella hovering in the back of his head and she stares at him with watery brown eyes and hunched shoulders and Joe can tell that his heart is breaking a little, just like hers is.
Whatever that is happening now, these feelings that Joe feels for Macy, they weren't suppose to happen at all. It was supposed to be Joe, Stella and a happily ever after because theirs was that fairytale romance, destined to come true from childhood onwards.
And that is how Joe knows that fairytales are pretend and in the real world, you don't get to choose who you fall in love with.
It just happens.
//
Stella see's the signs once or a hundred times but she doesn't know really what to say. She see's the warring emotions play out in Joe's head as he gazes at Macy and methodically rips apart pieces of paper in his clenched hands and she see's how Macy's eyes light up with starry delight when Kevin walks by and mumbles a bashful hello.
Oh she see's it all and her heart is breaking too just like Joe's is except she loves Joe and Macy too and knows that they wouldn't intentionally hurt her. Unintentionally is a whole another ball game however.
Maybe what hurts the most is that Macy cannot see what Stella and Joe see because then Stella knows that Macy will move away and cut herself out of the picture completely and be the best friend that Stella loves to pieces. But she cannot and Stella agonizes between hating and loving her best friend.
//
One sunny afternoon Macy beams as she announces that Kevin has asked her out and Joe thinks Macy has never looked more beautiful than right now, the flush of teenage love blooming along her cheeks like flowers unfurling their petals in spring. She glows so much and for a second Joe knows that in this very moment he loves Macy more than Stella and it's all quite wrong and messed up but this is the way it is.
He congratulates her and his voice falters a little when he tells her he no longer needs her help but all in all, he thinks he does quite well. He was always a good liar because he lies with his eyes and not his face.
He sends her on her way and at the door she meets Stella and they squeal over Kevin and Joe shreds apart some more paper and clenches his hands even tighter.
//
Stella walks into the room and Joe sends her a bittersweet smile and turns back to the scrambled numbers on his worksheet. Nothing makes sense anymore and the afternoon doesn't glow with the promise of more. Stella reaches out and clasps his hand and Joe smiles brightly—too brightly because what does he need calculus and combinations for anyways?
He's that guy with that wonderful blonde girlfriend who's also his best friend. He has no use for true love. He'll be fine.
(Except he knows that he wont be fine and that he will have regrets later on someday but he's a good liar—even to himself, so it's all good.)
a/n – Just a piece of nonsense I had to get it out of my system.