Hey, guys!
I'm here again, with another BonKai smutty fic! This has been requested by an anon on Tumblr, so here you have it, Anon!
This turned out way more angsty than I planned, but I hope it's alright ^_^
I know you
Bonnie was well aware of Kai's steps behind her. She could hear his boots sinking in the softness of the snow, his glare on her back, on her every move.
She was trying to stay as far away as possible from him, after the way he had grabbed her earlier, shaking her like he wanted her to confess her darkest secrets.
But her only secret was that she hated him. She hated him for all the things he had done and she hated herself for being so damn naive and trusting him in the first place.
"Why would the ascendant be here?" he asked, trying to keep up with her.
"I don't know. I didn't put it here."
"If you don't feel I'm capable of change, why spend an entire day with me? Why bring me out in the middle of nowhere? I could gut you all over again. Your friends would never even hear you scream."
She hated him. She hated him so damn much for his clever mind, for his ingenuity, for his total trust in her. But mostly for his talent in ruining every damn conversation with something like 'I could gut you all over again'.
She stopped, turning back to face him, to look into his eyes while she lied. "Because maybe you're right. Maybe deep down there's a part of me that believes there's a sliver of good in you."
He laughed, showing his white teeth, bending down his head to hide the sudden light that filled his eyes. Then he looked back at her, still smiling. It hurt her seeing him like this, like he was just a random cute guy trying to flirt with her.
"And you'd be right."
He walked past her, still half smiling. Bonnie touched the knife in her pocket, feeling the ice cold blade against the skin of her fingertips.
"I'm sorry," he said, turning back.
She had the knife in her hand. She was ready to get her revenge.
"Not just about what I did," he added. "I'm sorry for what you're going through because of me."
She stared at him in confusion.
"I know what it's like to be around people when you've been on your own for so long. I just figured out that it must be even harder for you, because of who you are and what I did to you."
Bonnie was still staring at him. She let go the knife, pulling her hand out of her coat, pointing an accusation finger towards him.
"You know nothing. Don't act like you know me, because you don't."
Kai looked down at her finger, he took a step forward, so that its tip would touch his chest. She didn't flinch, she pressed into his jacket, like the blade of a knife, like she was sure that at some point her disappointment would make him bleed.
"I watched you for months. I know everything."
Bonnie raised her chin. "Knowing that I hate pancakes or that I'm really bad at crosswords doesn't mean that you know me."
"You're right," he agreed. "But I listened, Bonnie. I listened every time you talked to Damon about your childhood. Every time you visited the cemetery, I listened. Every time you cried alone in your room at night, I listened."
Bonnie took a step back and laughed bitterly. "I can't believe you're saying you're proud of your days as a stalker."
He took a deep breath. "I- what I'm trying to say is that I know you, Bon. I know of your rushed goodbye to Jerome-"
"Jeremy."
"-whatever. I know of the lives you saved, I know of your parents. And I know that you hate me. But I also know that you don't like hating people. You just want to live your life and kick some ass once in a while." He smiled, but she didn't return it. "I'm sorry. I just want you to know that."
She started walking again, brushing his shoulder, wanting to leave him and his bullshit behind. But Kai grabbed her arm, stopping her by his side.
She looked at his gloved hand surrounding her arm. She wanted to scream, to yell him to let her go, but the truth was that his touch didn't hurt, not this time. She hardly felt it, like a kiss on the forehead while you're sleeping – and she didn't know why his touch made her think about kisses.
He was staring down on her, looking at her with his lost-puppy eyes.
"Do you believe me?" he asked in a whisper.
His breath formed a little cloud right in front of her and she was so close she breathed it in.
She looked at him, breathing fast. "I hate you."
Kai was staring at her lips, following the movement while she said 'you'. Her mouth was slightly opened, inviting him to assault it, to conquer her lips, biting and sucking and kissing. He swallowed, bending down a little bit more.
Bonnie was probably too shocked to react. Everything was cold, except for the exact point of her arm that Kai was still squeezing.
His lips were millimeters away from hers and she felt just like one of the trees around them, frozen in time, incapable to move.
"Don't," she was about to say, but it died on her lips, along with Kai's kiss.
His mouth was warm and soft and it surprised her, because she never thought that someone with such a cold stoned heart could be so alive. It amazed and terrified her.
She didn't think about the knife in her pocket or the magic in her veins, she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away. He let go easily, leaving her lips and arm as soon as he realized she didn't want to be kissed.
"I'm sorry," he said. It seemed to be the only thing he could say, lately.
She was staring at him in disgust and disbelief, breathing heavily, biting her lips to erase the memory of his touch.
"What the hell where you thinking?!" she yelled, taking a few steps back.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, raising up his hands to show her he meant no harm.
"You keep saying that but you keep doing things to piss me off!"
He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but the only thing he could think to say was 'sorry', so he desisted.
Kai swallowed the knot in his throat, trying to get closer, but she kept backing away. The only thing that stopped them from getting lost in the woods was the tree that ended her retreat. He took the few steps that separated them and trapped her between the trunk and himself.
"Don't you dare touch me," she warned him. Her eyes were burning with green fire.
"There's something wrong with me, when I'm around you," he murmured, looking down into her eyes. "I can't control my emotions."
"That is not my problem," she said, her hands ready to phesmatos his ass away from her.
"It is," he contradicted her. "It is because it's you. It's you that I can't stop thinking about. You. You and that damn mouth of yours."
He seemed to be physically in pain as he confessed his twisted feelings.
Bonnie tried to say something, anything that could make him stop, but he kept talking, vomiting his words with fury and avoiding her eyes.
"I tried, Bonnie. I tried not to think about you, but you know what happens when I try? I think about you even more. And it's so damn annoying to think about you while I'm in bed, trying to sleep, and your face pops out of nowhere and first you're looking at me like that time you didn't know about my past, and next you're looking at me like you're doing right now. And I just can't get why. Why didn't you believe there was a chance to redeem me? Why did you kill me?"
"Stop," she said weakly.
"Why are you so damn selfless? And why the hell do you look at me like you're going to eat me one moment and the next moment, you look at me like you want to gut yourself if that's the only way you can stop seeing me?"
"Stop it, Kai!" she yelled in his face. And he stopped, he finally looked back at her to see which one of her glares she was giving him, and when he saw that she was looking at him like a disgusting bug he stepped back, leaving her space to go.
Bonnie sighed, leaning back on the tree. She looked up at the sky, welcoming the cold snowflakes falling on her face. She was stunned by the amount of information and accusations Kai just shouted in her face.
Everything he had said was easily summarised with 'you fucking hurt me'.
He was a sociopath, she was sure he hardly felt her betrayal back in 1994, but still he was accusing her of not trusting him. And yet, the one time she trusted him, he had left her behind, bleeding.
"Do you want to know why?" she asked, still looking at the sky.
Kai looked at her and waited for her to go on.
"I know the guys like you, all eye-sex and trouble. I've seen both my best friends fall for someone like you. And now there's you. The psychopath with brand new emotions. You have a crush on me and I should try to redeem you, to save you from yourself. But guess what? I don't want to be your saviuor, Kai." She opened her eyes and looked at him. "I need to save myself first, I don't have time to discuss with you why we're wrong for each other just to have sex the next second. I've never been that kind of person."
"But you changed," he said, getting closer again. "Just like me. You're different, you choose your battles, now. And maybe I can help you save yourself."
Bonnie didn't answer.
"I swear to God, Bonnie, I've never felt like this before."
He was in her again, his breath mixing with hers.
"I hate you, Kai."
He smiled. "You keep saying that, but you're out here alone with me."
"Maybe I just want to kill you where no one can hear you scream."
He leaned closer. "I'm not a screamer."
"Me neither."
Bonnie was staring at his grin, she wasn't sure why she was so calm about them being so close, she didn't know why she wasn't stabbing him in his stomach.
She didn't know why she wanted him to kiss her so badly. She shouldn't have wanted him to kiss her.
She hated him. And yet she loved the way his eyes had darkened while staring at her, the way he was slowly moving his hands towards her hips, waiting for her to stop him. But she didn't, and she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was his lips' fault, the way they were trembling or the way they had felt on hers.
Maybe this was her way to get her revenge, making him believe that she cared about him.
She kissed him back, hard, demanding. She needed to take control, to lead the game. She put her hand on his nape, getting closer and closer. She didn't mind his hands on her back, his hips against hers.
She felt the roughness of the tree behind her and she knew that it was too late to change what was happening.
Bonnie opened the zip of his jacket, placing her cold hands underneath it, feeling the warmth of his body. Kai loosened the scarf around her neck and place his hand around it, rubbing her face with his thumb.
It wasn't so cold, after all. Even though they were surrounded by snow it felt warm enough to take off their clothes.
They undressed each other with anger, well aware that they were stripping their enemy.
Everything from their waists up was gone, slowly buried by the falling snow.
"I hate you," Bonnie whispered unbuttoning his jeans.
"I hate you, too," he answered, kissing her neck.
They were finally naked and Bonnie clung on him, wrapping her legs, his hands perfectly holding her butt. He entered her with a soft moan that made her shiver. Then he was on his knees, still inside her, and he lowered Bonnie onto their clothes so she won't feel the cold snow on her back. His hips were moving against hers, against her soft thighs, feeling her hands on his ass, urging him to go faster, deeper.
The snow was falling on his back, making him shiver and lose control of his body along with his magic.
Bonnie was softly moaning in his ear, brushing her lips again his sensitive skin.
He buried his hands into the snow at the side of Bonnie's body, Kai felt the magic leave his fingertips and melt the snowy ground. He had to let a bit of his magic out, if he didn't want to hurt her – and he definitely didn't.
"Phesmatos-" he murmured in her ear, making her shiver.
Bonnie looked at him in disbelief – was he really going to kill her while having sex?
"-incendia" Kai finished. The trees around them were slowly burning from the bottom, surrounding them with a yellowish light and a nice warmth.
Maybe, she thought, just maybe, he wasn't so bad.
The crackling sound of the burning wood and its strong smell blurred her senses, making her feel the need to smell his scent, to feel his warmth, to hear him murmur spell after spell.
There was something wrong in the way she felt him – his body, his magic, his moans. There was something primitive about the urge to feel him in every single possible way.
She placed one hand on his face, looking him into his eyes for the first time, noting the amazement in his gaze, the vein on his forehead and his parted lips waiting for hers.
He was looking at her in confusion, probably waiting for her to say something, to repeat how much she hated him, but she didn't say a word and he didn't stop his movement inside her.
Bonnie was sure she was going to die of pleasure and she hated it.
How was he so good at this? He hadn't have sex for at least eighteen years, he had no right to be so good, to make her feel like this, like she was dying and she was happy to do so.
She wanted to tell him how much she hated him, how much his hands on her body disgusted her, but then his mouth covered her nipple and all she said was his name, followed by a loud scream.
He looked her in the eyes, smiling – more to himself than at her. "Liar," he whispered and she knew what he was talking about. She had said that she wasn't a screamer, but there she was, crying and screaming while the orgasm turned her guts inside out.
By the time Kai fell on her, sweaty and exhausted, leaving his semen inside her, the snow on the ground had completely melted.
Bonnie shoved him off and he fell on the cold soil. She started dressing, putting on her jeans with fury.
She hated him. And she hated herself.
What was she thinking? Screwing Kai in the middle of the woods in the prison world had not been a point on her agenda!
He wore his clothes back in silence, leaving her enough time to regret every second she had spent out there with him.
She was just like Caroline and Elena, telling him she hated him and then allowing him to touch her. And the worst was that he perfectly knew how to touch her.
"I hate you," she whispered. She wanted him to know that she still hated him, even though she had loved the way his body touched hers.
Kai sighed. "I know."
It was when she picked up her coat that she finally remembered why she was out there with him. She took the knife from the pocket, hiding it behind her thigh. She walked towards Kai, her face was relaxed but the grip on the handle of the knife was tight. She bent down on him – he had just put on his shoes – and placed a hand on his face, caressing the soft skin above his beard.
He looked at her with innocence, almost knowing what she was going to do.
"Bon-"
She didn't let him finish, she sunk the blade in his stomach with all the power of her skinny arm.
He coughed, placing his hands on the one with which she was stabbing him.
"I hate you," she whispered again.
"I know," he repeated.
He could have used his magic to throw her away, to hurt her back, to kill her, but he didn't move, he didn't say a word while she extracted the blade to stab him again.
Bonnie felt weary, her legs were shaking and her breath was heavy.
She was finally getting her revenge and it was even sweeter, because he had thought that she had forgiven him after she had let him touch her, but it actually made her hate him even more.
"Bonnie, believe me, I've changed!" Kai said, almost crying, laying down on the ground below her.
"I know," she said, raising the bloody knife to stab him again – in his heart, this time. "So have I."
She lowered the knife on him, but he wasn't there anymore. She looked around but he was gone, and so was she.
The old, sweet, selfless Bonnie Bennett was gone. She was someone else, now. Someone who just screwed her enemy in the middle of nowhere for lust and revenge.
She was someone that was about to leave behind the guy that had made her feel part of this world with his touch, the guy that she loved to hate.
AN: As I said, this is a little bit angst lol
I felt like Bonnie needed to get her revenge, she deserved it, after what Kai put her through.
Now, if you want to read a sort of continuation to this, you can go read Fade :)
See you soon!