"A Little Rain Must Fall"
By Wicce Moon
PG-13
All Prompts
House – Wilson – FriendshipIt was a dark and stormy night. The lightning flashing in the distance in hues of soft yellow and orange had intensified as it neared the Princeton area. Vivid streak lightning crackled with echoing thunder and spider lightning crawled across the cloud filled sky as the two "mad scientists" drove home in a blinding rainstorm.
"Shut up." House interrupted as Wilson continued a nagging rant.
"I could have left you at work instead of offering out of the kindness of my heart to drive my good friend House to his place so he wouldn't have to ride his motorcycle." Wilson continued, laying it on as thick as he could.
"Shut up! I already said thanks. Moron!" House whined as he glared at the rain sheeting off the windshield. "Just pay attention to the road and shut up."
"House, I know how to drive."
"But you don't know how to shut up!" House turned to glare at Wilson making a face.
"Anymore than you know how to check the weather reports before you ride your bike to work!" Wilson returned the glare.
"I've been busy." House grumbled, staring out the window. "That's what I have my good friend Jimmy for." He snarked as the lightning flashed again. "He's supposed to keep me informed of late breaking weather developments."
"This storm has been in the news for days!" Wilson argued.
"Then why didn't I know about it until an hour ago?"
"Because you don't pay attention…"
The brightest flash of lightning yet danced in front of them accompanied by a loud snap. The streetlights went out. Front door lights and indoor lights that lined the usually well-illuminated street went out. They were surrounded by total darkness.
"Wilson…shut up." House's voice grew decidedly quiet. Wilson glanced at his friend and started to smile. House glanced at the grinning clown beside him. "What? And pay attention to the road!"
"Aw, is big bad House afraid of the dark? Afraid of thunderstorms?" Wilson teased.
"Shut up!" House spat looking like he'd rather be strapped to the hood of the car than sitting beside his friend. As they turned on to House's street he breathed a sigh of relief.
"All better now?" Wilson said. "Look. We can even park right in front so you won't melt." He grinned as House glowered at him in the dark.
"Moron."
"Who didn't check the weather? Idiot. You have a good night…"
"Aren't you coming in?" House asked with quiet indignance as the car rolled to a stop.
Wilson stared at his friend in amazement, rubbing the back of his neck. "Why? Did you want to have more intellectual and meaningful conversation?"
They stared at one another as the lightning flashed again. "You shouldn't have to drive back in all of this. It's storming." House said in a quiet tone of voice.
Wilson could no longer contain himself as his eyes widened and he burst out laughing. "Really? I hadn't noticed.
"Fine!" House spat. "I thought I would offer to let you stay out of the kindness of my heart." He grumbled, pulling his bag from the back seat. "I didn't want my friend to have to drive in all of this…" House said, laying it on as thick as he could.
"Your friend wouldn't have had to drive all this way in the first place if you had taken your car to work…Which you would have done if you listened to the news instead of your I pod all day!" Wilson grinned as House hesitated getting out of the car.
"Yeah, yeah…you coming in or not?" House snapped, not moving from the dry interior of the car.
Wilson relented. As he popped his umbrella and stepped out into the monsoon it occurred to him House was waiting for him to come around to his side of the car. Wilson was the only one with an umbrella! He rolled his eyes as he waited by the passenger door. "You're incorrigible." Wilson said as they hurried to the foyer on the pitch-black street.
They hurried in just as a flash of light broke the darkness. Both of them jumped in unison as two big eyes and a mop of hair started doing a happy dance at the site of them. "Hector?" Wilson said, amazed at their discovery. There was Hector, his leash tied to the doorknob and a host of his accoutrements piled in the corner.
Finally! Where have you two been? It's storming out! I've been sitting here in the dark! Oh boy! You're home! Got anything tasty?
House had glimpsed a note unceremoniously stuck to his door and yanked it free. He unlocked the door as Wilson freed the leash from the doorknob. Hector passed Wilson on the way inside for a change. "I don't believe this crap." House grumbled. "There are some candles in the junk drawer in the kitchen. Matches should be there too." He said as the familiar scurrying of excited paws danced in front of them.
"Is there anything else you'd like me to do?" Wilson complained on his way to the kitchen.
"Well you don't expect me to maneuver past that in the dark, do you?" House snapped, pointing in the general direction of the excited sounds of tap dancing with his cane.
Wilson realized he had a point. "You're right. Wait there. Don't move." Wilson said and felt his way to the kitchen. There was a faint light almost immediately and soon there were more. House opened the letter and found a fifty-dollar bill inside. He stuffed the money in his pocket thinking Hector was looking more attractive already. Then he read the note.
You and your SORRY huge ego!
Sitting Hector didn't mean ruining him! He jumps on the furniture and steals my morning coffee. He begs beer and all manner of snacks from everyone. He won't sleep in his Berber beds anymore! Fix this, you overgrown teenager! Don't bring him back till you do. Here's some money till you put him back the way he was. I don't have the time or money to keep having the carpets cleaned.
P.S.: You can tell your crime partner Wilson not to call or he'll get an earful from me!
Bonnie
House was about to tell Wilson about the note when he heard Wilson in the kitchen as he continued lighting candles. He already had the cell phone in his ear. "Bonnie, what was Hector doing tied to House's front door?"
"Oops." House chuckled and winced as he made his way to the kitchen. While Wilson was busy getting the riot act read to him House ambled in and waved the letter in Wilson's face. "She says not to call because you're in trouble big time. Hi Bonnie!" House snarked into the phone as he picked up a candle and hauled it into the living room.
House set it down on the piano and had a seat. Hector stood up with his front paws on the piano bench. House gave him a stern look. "Have you been peeing on mom's carpet?" House asked. Hector had a look of sheer elation on his face as his tail wagged.
Oh boy, did I ever. I even peed in her bedroom. I knew she'd let me move in with you, Uncle House. But it's dark in here! Where's my food? Where are my toys?
House stared at the happy face panting up at him and scratched his head. "Good Boy! Let the whiny bitch know who the boss is!" House snarked, running his hands across the piano keys.
Wilson poked his head out the kitchen door as "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" broke the silence. "House, was there money in that envelope?" Wilson asked.
House nodded as he played. Wilson disappeared back in the kitchen. "So fifty makes it all right? Here's some money and do as your told? What does she think I am, easy?" House grumbled to himself. He made a face and nodded, answering himself.
Wilson emerged from the kitchen with more candles. "She's upset…with both of us, Hector too." He announced, placing the odd candle here and there.
"Let me know when the part comes where I'm supposed to care." House said as his long and elegant fingers finished "Raindrops" and started "Singing in the Rain."
"Why…you won't." Wilson mused leaning on the piano.
"No, I won't. But I'll do my best to look convincing."
"I think she threw Hector out." Wilson said, nervously awaiting a response.
House glanced at the extra live body parked on the floor. "What makes you think that?" House snarked. He looked at Wilson. "How old is he…eighteen?" House turned his attention to Hector. "You're a legal adult. Time to get a place of your own, boy. You can throw wild parties and invite wild women…" House said, his fingers gliding over the piano keys and providing some entertaining accompaniment with his speech."
Wilson rolled his eyes but said nothing. "He may need a place to stay until I smooth things over." He hinted. There was no reaction. "House?"
"I'm thinking about it." House teased, not looking up from the keys. "She probably has a hot date that's allergic to dogs. Maybe she should mention she has a dog next time she places a personal ad." House rattled on.
"She gave you fifty dollars!" Wilson argued.
"And a hairball with legs. And you always end up being part of the deal. I have Hector under foot and you in my face…"
"You invited me in!" Wilson laughed.
House motioned toward Hector. "Aren't you glad I did? I could have fallen over that moving speed bump and injured myself, ended up in the hospital…. Daddy would have felt bad. Bad Daddy." House made faces at Hector as Hector turned his head from side to side. "We need a beer." House said, going back to playing the piano.
Wilson came back with two beers and joined his friend on the piano bench. He reached down, petting Hector and shaking his head. "What am I going to do with you?" Wilson mused as he scratched his little boy's head.
House got an odd grin on his face. "Call Groomer Girl." He said, with a lascivious tone of voice.
"Angie?"
"You know anyone else that can provide a hot date for all of us including Hector?" House snarked. Wilson hesitated. "Hector want to see Bozo?" House baited. "Bozo?"
Bozo? BOZO! Woman! Yeah, yeah, yeah…Bozo.
They watched Hector do a little dance while House played a tune to go with it. Wilson wasn't doing anything and House was starting to get annoyed. "Look, we don't have electricity. No TV. No cooking. No radio. If you expect me to entertain you till the lights come on it's going to be a long night."
Wilson relented and phoned the dog groomer House had picked up with the other coeds he'd snagged in the park the last time he babysat Hector. Angie was delighted to hear from him. Wilson was getting all puffed up and full of himself while talking to the pretty college girl and House tried not to laugh.
Angie heard the piano in the background and Wilson relayed a hello as the conversation continued. House listened, raising an eyebrow as the conversation turned to Halloween weekend. Could she borrow Hector for trick or treat festivities this weekend? There was some sort of costume thing for dogs too as far as House could discern.
"We could shove a broomstick up his butt and dress him as a mop!" House snarked into the phone. Wilson glared at him and made excuses as House could hear Angie laughing on the other end of the phone.
The storm was dying down. She invited herself and Bozo over for a visit since everyone was sitting in the dark all over town. "I don't think he'd mind." Wilson said glancing at House. "Let me ask."
"Tell her to bring a friend." House said rolling his eyes as Wilson glared at him. "There's no power! Can you think of a better way to entertain them?"
Wilson tried to pick up some of the clutter while House played the piano. "House. How can you live like this?"
"I don't get any crap about it till you show up. The power's out! They can't see anything in the dark anyhow…"
Angie brought a friend, and Bozo…and some more beer. She had Bozo wrapped up in a bright pink raincoat that matched her topknots and toenails. House made a series of faces and comments that had both girls in stitches and Wilson glaring at him.
Hector did a happy dance till Angie got her little girl undressed and on the loose.
"Let the games begin." House said hobbling off to the kitchen for the laser pointer while the girls and Wilson carried in Hector's belongings from the foyer.
It was an evening of laser tag and "Westie Pinball" as House had come to call it. He did his best to bounce both dogs off of every piece of furniture in the apartment amid laughter and giggles. The beer disappeared as ideas for doggie costumes were discussed.
Wilson was decidedly nervous as things such as dyes and hair gels were discussed but House was enjoying the 'torture Wilson' factor and played along for the entirety of the discussion. Besides, the power was still out and the storm was only starting to die down.
Angie and Judy were "fun" to watch and they enjoyed the audience. House continued to play along with the costume talk thinking it was blown way out of proportion, but good for a laugh particularly at Wilson's expense.
And the girls promised when they were done they'd even show up in costume afterward if House and Wilson thought they were up to it.
"Up to it?" House asked, curious about the dare. "Do you think a couple of old men can't handle two Dorothys and Totos?"
The girls laughed as Angie hoisted Bozo onto her lap. "Did you hear what House said, girl? He thinks we're going to do something boring. He doesn't know what we're capable of, does he?" She gave House a look. "With a little sculpting gel we can make spikes." She picked up some tufts of hair on Bozo's back to demonstrate the look. "We can fluff, and pick…all of this till she's round like a ball!" Angie fluffed out some hair on the sides and in front. Orange paint with a green leash and she's a pumpkin!"
"Orange spiked hair and a red nose and she's…a Bozo!" House snarked.
"House is going to be surprised tomorrow night…isn't he Bozo?" Angie cooed in Bozo's ear as she gave him an evil look.
House couldn't help as he watched Hector and Bozo do their little mating ritual across the floor. "How about something simple like a mechanic pushing a car up the street? Or maybe an orderly pushing a hospital bed? That's all white!" He laughed.
Wilson looked worried. "And what did you have in mind for Hector? And…does all of that paint wash out?"
"Oh, of course it does. Sometimes it may take an extra rinse or two but they'll be good as new and they'll love the attention…and all of the treats!"
Treats? Bozo! She said treats! When? Where? Tasty!!
Only one thing left to do as candles were strategically placed and blown out as the social part of the evening came to a close…. at least the 'group' social part of the evening came to a close…the closing hours in pairs were by candlelight. The evening ended much better than it started. Power was restored near dawn and no one even noticed.
There was coffee and breakfast for four the next morning. Hector and Bozo even got a morning stroll together after Hector enjoyed his morning coffee…with Bozo. Angie didn't see what the problem was…she gave Bozo coffee whenever Bozo was in the mood for some! "Your ex sounds a little stiff to me!" She'd laughed on the way out the door with Judy and the dogs.
"Stiff as a cadaver." House snarked.
"And about as cold too!" Wilson said without thinking. Both men stared across the kitchen table at one another and burst into laughter.
The girls washed and teased and gelled and styled Bozo and Hector. The dogs were fluffed and painted right down to their toenails. Thegirls glossed the pooches up with a coat of sparkle spray at the last minute to set off their hard work to perfection. Bozo got the specialty costume collar because she was used to such things and Hector…well, they did their best to keep Hector happy so he didn't noticed he'd been teased and fluffed into an entirely new shape! But he saw Bozo…and that was enough!
Oh my God! What did they do to you? What did they do to me? Why are we a different shade of gray? What's this smelly stuff on our toes? What's that silly thing around your neck? What did they do to us? I'm telling Dad and Uncle House as soon as we get home! How could they do this to us?
"It's okay little guy. You look so handsome! Look how pretty Bozo is? She loves it! And you get all of these treats for being so patient with us!" Angie said tossing a handful of snacks and chew sticks on the floor for them while the girls got ready.
The matching sexy cave girl outfits were donned and fussed over and around late afternoon and early evening when costume festivities began, the fearsome foursome were the hit of the events. Two beautiful cave girls in leopard print skimpy outfits and their pet dinosaurs. Bozo was a regal triceratops with a bejeweled high rise "collar" that framed her face. Hector was a well-fluffed stegosaurus complete with a row of spikes going down his back like the ultimate mohawk!
It was late evening when House was coming out of the bathroom and heading toward the kitchen for another beer. There was a knock at the door and he ambled in that direction as Wilson stared at the TV. House looked out the peephole and his eyes widened. He regrouped and shook his head as he opened the door.
"Wilma! Betty! I see you have Dino and Dingaling in tow!" He announced opening the door.
"Trick or Treat!" The girls yelled cruising through the front door with the dogs and several bags of candy. House admired their outfits from the front and then the rear. "Nice fishnets." He complimented, checking out the stockings. Hmm…tasty!
Wilson turned around and his eyes grew wide. He appreciated the view for a moment and then his attentions turned to the "dinosaurs" they were walking. "Hector? Oh my God! Hector?" Wilson nearly fell off the couch as House headed to the kitchen for that beer. Instead he pulled the bottle of scotch from its resting place. Somehow he felt Wilson was going to need a good stiff drink.
The rest of the evening was spent drinking beer and munching on pizza and Halloween candy. Wilson recovered over the initial shock of seeing Hector after House mixed him a real drink. The cave girl outfits helped too. The girls were stunning…and hot!
As the evening wound down Angie and Bozo managed to coax Wilson out the door for a late night walk. House didn't expect them back any time soon as he and Judy got cozy on the couch.
Judy watched and giggled as House preoccupied himself with teaching Hector a new trick. "He's going to get sick if you keep feeding him all of the candy corn."
"I know." House said, with an evil grin. "He goes back to Bonnie tomorrow."
"Oh, that's too bad." Judy said. "You only ever call us when you have Hector."
House held up one of the pieces of candy corn for Judy's inspection. "Think of each one of these…as a reason for Bonnie to bring him back." House tossed it at Hector and he snapped it out of mid air.
Judy thought for a moment and picked up a piece and tossed it at Hector. Then another. Both pieces vanished without a trace. Judy and House had the same evil grin on their faces as they tossed one neon kernel after another to the perpetually starving Hector. All of the kernels disappeared down the black hole that was Hector's bottomless pit one multi colored piece at a time…. and they were never seen again.
THE END-TILL THE NEXT HOLIDAY!