7/13/14
About 5 years ago I wrote Define Christmas as a SorenxMia one shot for a gift exchange on deviantArt
Now I've decided to incorporate it into its own "universe" tying it into Cerulean Gold as some readers of that may have noticed.
In Cerulean Gold Chapter 25 is called Birthday Reunion, this one shot covers that chapter from Soren and Mia's point of view.
I had a lot of fun writing this because I got to go back to a simpler time when Soren and Mia were not yet in a relationship and there was some turmoil of sorts, I haven't written anything like that since well Define Christmas which was 5 years ago.
For those who don't know me I love putting Soren and Mia together and I wish more people would try it out but I know everyone has their own fictions they're working on / planning. I can still hope that someday...
There is 1 element in this story in regards to Soren I completely forgot about, but thinking about it, it has the fuel for a one shot of its own so...look forward to that if you can guess what it is.
Explain Birthdays
"Even now…I still don't completely understand why that happened. Why I did it. It seemed right at the time I suppose but…so unlike me to do something without…thinking…it wasn't like me…at all…"
Soren groaned and sat up in his bed, knocking himself in the head with his fist a few times before standing and preparing to leave his room.
Things changed following that eventful Christmas morning. He wasn't sure why he did it but he saw the mistletoe, he saw Mia, strange…feelings whirled inside him and he…kissed her.
At that moment and for that day everything seemed fine but after that was when things went sour.
"Hey Soren!"
The Sage looked up to see Mia waving with a large smile. She walked right up to him and embraced him, causing him to feel very strange and pull away.
"Mia…we're in public."
"Public? This is the Mercenary Fort, what are you? Shy?"
She laughed as he shook his head "No but we shouldn't be doing anything like that openly."
Mia gave him a questioning look as he returned to his routinely inventory of the Mercenaries' supplies.
It continued like that for several days, Mia was very happy because of the kiss and saw it as a chance to expand on her relationship with the sage; unfortunately said sage was not looking to progress anything.
"Soren…did I do something wrong?"
Soren remained silent as he flipped through the pages of the Mercenaries' recent expenses.
"Soren…you haven't spoken to me in a week…it's odd…I thought-"
"What?"
"…I just…thought we were…closer…"
Soren close the book before standing and facing Mia "I'm sorry, it was a mistake."
With that he walked away, not realizing the pain he brought to Mia's chest or the tears to her eyes.
Following that they haven't spoken to each other. Soren felt bad about dismissing her but he wasn't sure what to do about the other situation, how to talk to her or how to explain what he was feeling.
That winter where she showed him the joy of Christmas and the positive thoughts of survival and life brought new feelings of respect for Mia to him. She had always tried to get closer to him even during the Dawn War, spending time with him, trying to help him with his reports and baking cookies for him despite his avoidance of sweets.
"She likes me…and I…don't understand why…why me?"
Shaking his head the Sage opened the door to his room and stepped out right in front of Mia, as if the very world was mocking him.
Each began to say something but eventually decided against it and moved past each other.
"I don't get it…or maybe I do…maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing and he regrets it ever happening…"
Times like this she thought of the friends she knew in relationships or heck, the ones that got married like Mist. Even her best friend Nephenee got into a relationship during the Dawn War with the rogue, Heather.
Mia loved seeing the pair together, seeing how truly happy they were but at the same time it made her sad about her own state of affairs. Realizing she needed to talk with her best friend and maybe even ask for some help she wrote a letter and sent it to the former Halberd, receiving a rather quick response made Mia feel good, especially with what Nephenee had to say.
Hey Mia
Powerful bad to hear that. I never figured Soren as someone who doesn't take everythin into account when doin somethin. He had to have known that kissin you wouldn't be a one time thing. Though I don't rightly believe Soren's ever been in a relationship before. Maybe he needs help understandin how it works and figurin out his feelings. I know when I started feelin for Heather I had to do a lot of talkin to myself about what my feelins were. Was I really in love with another woman? What did that mean about me? Maybe Soren's just confused is all, give him a hand, whether he knows it or not he needs it. I couldn't have gotten through my issues without you or Ilyana.
Really hope everything works out.
-Nephenee
Mia couldn't help but smile at Nephenee's letter, her friend truly cared about her plight and was doing her best to help.
However the very problem was getting Soren to talk to her, even if she offered to listen to whatever was conflicting him, he probably wouldn't take it.
Reaching the training grounds behind the Mercenary Fort she took up a practice sword and looked at it in silence. Her gaze moved to the area around her and she sighed deeply.
"I've got to do something to get my mind off of this, at least for a little while."
"Soren."
The sage looked up from his book to acknowledge his visitor before looking down again.
"Yes Ike? What do you need?"
"I'm actually here to talk about you."
Soren looked to the other man questioningly; Ike moved towards the table and sat across from the sage.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes."
"…really?"
"Yes."
"Then why are you moping?"
Soren scoffed at that and shook his head "Moping? What am I? A 15 year old girl? I don't mope, Ike."
"Really?"
"Yes!"
Ike sighed and held his hands up "Soren, you know when I come to you with something it's always because I really care. You know I don't come here to bother or bore you with pointless questions, certainly not to accuse you of acting like a 15 year old girl but I've seen how you act for the last…six years, maybe more! Since the end of the Dawn War you've seen pretty content in your place here…I vaguely recall a time you considered leaving us for the Grann-"
"I didn't."
"Be that as it may…towards the end of last year you were even…brighter…don't look at me that way, you know it to be true. However…seemingly out of nowhere you've recessed into how you were before the Dawn War."
Soren thought about his actions, he didn't believe that he was that dark again but Ike wouldn't lie to him about anything.
"Have I snapped at people?"
"No, and that's just it. You always snap at people, it's part of you but now you just wander about and ignore the people around you, as if none of them are even there. Is there something I can do to help?"
Soren continued to look to Ike and thought about it, there was no denying this had to do with what happened over Christmas and the end of last year. He himself has been at war in his mind for so long Ike has noticed it and he, as the Mercenary's alert tactician, had not noticed his own absence of mind. Neither were good things.
"It's a…personal matter between another Mercenary and I."
Ike nodded slowly "Alright…I'm certain it isn't Shinon, you two don't really care about each other's opinions. You're both stubborn that way…"
"Ike, please don't try to guess, I'm not going to tell you."
Ike chuckled at that "Even if I guessed the right one you'd stone face me, I couldn't tell. Soren. Communication is key, clear this up, you'll feel better and it will be better for everyone."
Soren kept his eyes on his commander and sighed "If only it were that simple."
"You've got a brain capable of thinking of complex military strategies in mere moments; whatever this is I'm sure you'll figure it out."
Soren appreciated Ike's confidence in him but the sage found himself lacking that very confidence.
Mia wiped her forehead and smiled; putting her training blade away she began stretching and thanked the breeze that came through.
Turning she spotted Soren moving to one of his favorite spots, a clearing in the trees near the fort. He liked to read or clear his thoughts while he was there and just, relax. Something most people couldn't picture Soren doing.
She didn't think it would be right to interrupt him and decided to talk to him next time she saw him.
"Hey Mia, finish your workout?"
Nodding at Boyd she continued up the slope and moved to stand next to him.
"Another job?"
Boyd nodded "Looks like it, Titania is heading this one with Gatrie, Rolf and Rhys. She asked me to get you so we could join them."
"This is the fourth one this week…so much for my visit."
Boyd scratched the back of his head "Right you were planning on dropping by Nephenee's place."
Mia moved past Boyd towards the fort "Work is haphazard, maybe next time. I'll get my sword and me you guys out front!"
The job was a small one, a band of thieves were ransacking a few coastal towns south of Toha. Once they arrived and beat down a few of the miscreants the rest of them surrendered and returned supplies that weren't sold off were returned to their proper owners. As thanks the owners allowed the Mercenaries to keep the money the thieves made as payment.
Mia loved doing jobs because of the immense gratitude in the faces of those the Mercenaries helped.
As she smiled to herself, Titania appeared next to her "So Mia, I understand your birthday is soon."
Mia looked to Titania questioningly before realizing "You're right!"
"Hah! You forgot?"
Mia couldn't believe it but she did, she had been so preoccupied with Soren that she forgot about her own birthday.
"It'd be a perfect time for Nephenee and Heather to drop by. I know you wanted to see them but work got in the way."
Mia shook her head "It's fine, work-"
"A healthy life is balanced by work and friends. Don't worry about it, either way, you should be excited."
Mia smiled at Titania and nodded, the older woman looked ahead to Boyd and Gatrie in the midst of a conversation.
Walking a bit closer to the swordmaster she spoke "How are things with you, Mia? Personally?"
"Personally?"
"You're a very bright person…though I've noticed as of late you seem a little…duller. Your mind seems to wander a lot more than usual."
Mia knew what Titania was hinting at but the swordmaster wasn't sure what to say. As she fiddled with her sleeves Titania chuckled.
"You've chosen a rather interesting path to walk Mia, one I never thought I'd see anyone intentionally pursue."
"…does she…know?"
Looking up, Mia could see Titania was 'in the know'.
"Your gaze is something I have quite some experience with, Mia. But I know you, your determination in your training and your ever positive attitude…you won't give up no matter the setback. Everything will work out."
"Th-thank you, Titania." The Axe Paladin smiled and nodded to her, Mia found herself smiling bright as ever and though that maybe, just maybe today was going to be a good day.
Mercenary Fort
"Not here." Mia shook her head as she left Soren's personal spot. Walking through the fort she decided to stop by his room, after knocking on the door and waiting she opened it to find the room empty.
"Maybe another mission came in…"
Sighing she returned to her room and found Soren outside, it looked like he was about to knock.
"H-hey…Soren…"
"Mia…I thought-"
"Thief…problem…just got back."
The two now stood in the hallway outside Mia's room; Soren looked to the wall while Mia shuffled unsure of what to say.
"Soren-"
"Mia-"
The swordmaster couldn't help but chuckle while Soren let out a heavy sigh and finally spoke "I'm…sorry…"
At Mia's silence he continued "I…I don't…feelings aren't something I have any experience in…in any regard…for once in my life I didn't act with my mind I didn't think about the consequences for my actions…I didn't think…and I'm sorry for what I did to you…any pain I caused…I know you probably-"
Mia stepped forward and put one of her fingers on his lips "Nothing's changed Soren, I'm just glad you're talking to me again."
Soren shook his head and pushed her arm away before looking to Mia again "After the things I said…ignoring you, avoiding you, denying everything…"
Mia smiled sadly "That's me, for better or worse. It hurt, a lot when you rejected everything or anything between us…but I knew deep down that it was you lashing out at yourself…I want to help you with that. If you'll let me."
"Why? Why waste all this energy on me?"
Mia laughed lightly, a sound Soren found that he actually missed "You know me Soren…I can't let things go…and it's human nature to develop feelings for people…people that you care about, that you want safe, that you know…and people that you…could…love…"
"I don't know."
Was all Soren said "I don't know about any of that…I've never had people like that."
Mia smiled "Whether you acknowledge it or not the Mercenaries are people like that. We all know how important you are and some of us do like you in some regard…you still have a hard time seeing that I know…but you aren't blind to it…I myself…really care for you…"
Soren caught her sight, she looked away slightly "Soren, I know you don't mean to but you have this…presence that unsettles people. It isn't your fault now; it's a result of your behavior from the Mad King's War and everything before that. I'm sure some of the Mercenaries are still unsure how to…be around you. Open up more to everyone and things could go much better."
The sage kept his eyes on her and everything about the situation reminded him of that Christmas morning. Feeling his heart race he realized he had two options, neither of which he was in complete favor of.
"I have to go." He said quickly, taking option two he turned and left Mia, who smiled as he turned the corner and vanished.
A few days passed and Soren was still unsure of what to do, he found himself talking with Mia a bit more. She always seemed to be happy to put aside the time no matter what she was doing.
However, odd things began to show up around the fort, namely an ample supply of what seemed to be cake batter in the kitchen. It's not like the Mercenaries didn't eat pies or those kinds of sweets but there was much more than usual.
"Hey, Soren."
Oscar said with a smile as he began to prepare dinner.
"Oscar…what is all this for?"
Oscar noticed Soren pointing at the cake batter and smiled "Mia's birthday is comin up, that is for the cake."
As Oscar got to work, Soren said to himself "Birthday…"
Nephenee,
Thanks for everything, after some discussion it seems like we can finally talk to each other again though there is some awkwardness but I'm working to help him out.
Only time will tell but I'm honestly hoping for the best. Who knows? Maybe in the future we can all go out on a double date! Just wishful thinking, but I'd rather write as my positive self than that last pessimistic letter I sent you.
Anyway, my birthday is comin up soon, super excited to see you and Heather again, had a visit planned but we got swamped with some work, which I suppose is a good thing for the money side of it.
Can't wait, see you then!
-Mia
Leaving the letter with the post keeper, Mia continued on her way with a smile. Things were getting better; Soren even came up to her and thanked her for the cookies she made for him during the war. He said he didn't really enjoy sweets but he had to admit they weren't bad.
Hearing his thanks, even low and directed at the floor made her very happy, she promised him if he wanted more she would make more. His reaction was unreadable but she hoped there was some joy in it.
As she left the local town and began walking up the dirt road to the Fort she spotted Soren leaning against a tree.
"Hey Soren! How ya doin?"
"…fine…"
Mia tilted her head "You look like you have a question for me."
"What makes you think that?"
"It's obvious! If you truly wanted to keep your thoughts to yourself you'd be in your room or at your thinkin spot rather than out here waiting for me to walk by. Though I enjoy seeing you regardless of where I am."
As she smiled brightly Soren sighed "You're birthday is coming."
Mia looked at the tactician oddly before nodding "Yeah…I don't…I don't need a gift if that's what your asking. I just-"
"In fact…I've been here for many birthdays though I've avoided the festivities like with Christmas…"
Mia began connecting some dots in her head and smiled even wider "You don't get them."
"…"
"You don't get birthdays!"
"…I know they are celebrations of the day a person was born…I just don't know why that would be so…important."
Mia took Soren's arm, reminding them both of the events over Christmas. "I'll help you understand."
With that the swordmaster took off, pulling the tactician along and back into town.
"Make a wish!"
With that a young boy blew the candles out on top of his cake, his family cheered and seated themselves, prepared to enjoy the cake.
Mia smiled proudly, glad that there was a birthday happening now in town. Looking to Soren she saw the expressions in his face and took his arm pulling him away.
"No offense, don't want your presence unsettling the kids."
"Right…so…"
"Think about it like a small victory in one's life, over what doesn't really matter. But we'll take your life for example Soren; you're always so busy managing the Mercenaries, thinking about everyone else's safety in battle and so on. Don't you think there should be one day where people think of you? Thank you for your hard work? Celebrate you?"
Soren narrowed his eyes "Not really…I get paid for my job…that's thanks enough."
"No, no, no. I mean true thanks, appreciation and good feelings for you; I know I'm always happy to be around you."
Mia stopped herself and chuckled nervously as Soren glanced at her "Either way, Soren. Think of what you accomplished between now and the same date of last year…surely its quite a bit and definitely a lot of good was done. You definitely deserve a day where you don't have to worry about dying or other's dying or stock in the armory or anything."
The pair was now walking through town with Soren scratching his chin "It sounds a lot like the reasoning behind the Christmas season."
"Well sure because that's the season of the biggest celebration and happiness for everyone after an eventful year in the world, this is a smaller celebration for the love of one person and their personal year. It's about…"
Turning she lifted on finger and pointed at Soren "…you."
Soren raised an eyebrow as Mia gave him a big smile, a strange feeling whirled in his chest, shaking his head he continued walking with her close behind.
"Alright…so the celebration explains the balloons and presents and I suppose the cake…why don't you want a present?"
Mia shrugged "It's not so much I don't want any I just don't expect any. If anything everyone enjoying one day is a good enough gift for me…and Nephenee and Heather's visit doesn't hurt either."
Soren thought about the Halberd and Rogue, he recalled Mia telling him about their relationship.
She saw the look in his face and tilted her head "Soren?"
"It's odd…not in a bad way…I've…"
Soren came to a stop, realizing what he was about to say he chuckled to himself and shook his head.
"Soren?"
"I was about to say I've known Nephenee for several years and never picked up that she was into other women…but that's a lie. I don't know Nephenee as a person…I know her as a skilled Halberd that aided us during the Mad King's War and the Dawn War…that's all…I have no personal attachments to her…or most of anyone for that matter."
Mia stepped in front of Soren and put her hands on his shoulders, he looked up at her slowly as she spoke "Then make them. It's never too late to make friends or get to know people Soren…and now that we're at peace it'll be easier and less stressful to do so. They're coming over for the party so talk to em, be a charmer, Charmer."
Laughing at herself she began walking away, facing towards the Mercenary fort, she turned slightly to call out so Soren but froze when she saw what looked like horror on his face.
"Soren? Soren are you alright?"
Blinking he shook his head "I-I'm fine…"
Mia walked back towards him and put a hand on his shoulder "Are you sure? You don't look too good."
"Why did you…call me that?"
"What? Charmer? Neph told me it was a nickname Heather gave you. I like it…it's somewhat ironic…not that you aren't charming I mean-"
"Can you…not call me that."
"I…I guess…"
Soren walked past Mia slowly; mind still elsewhere "Do you know why she calls you that?"
Soren nodded absentmindedly then cursed and shook his head "N-no."
"Then why don't you want me to call you that? Don't like it?"
"Just don't."
Soren cursed to himself again, whether he meant to or not he was lying to Mia and he didn't like the feelings it stirred within him.
Deciding to drop it, Mia continued with Soren, now nearing the Mercenary Fort.
Mercenary Fort
Mia smiled as she spotted Titania, her arms crossed and a knowing smile plastered across her face.
"I have some…work to do…"
With that Soren took off, Mia waved after him and approached Titania.
"It's still so…strange…not in a bad way…but strange."
"My…uh…attraction to-"
"Yeah, either way I think you could do nothing but good for the man."
Mia smiled at that as Titania winked before deciding to run something by her "By the way…something strange did come up between Soren and I. You've known him for longer, right?"
Titania nodded "He doesn't get close to many people but as part of our jobs we have interacted for longer…why?"
"Can you think of any reason he wouldn't like the word charmer?"
"Charmer?"
Mia stood still as Titania looked up to the sky "I've heard in the past of Spirit Charmers…men and women of exceptional magical skill who trade their souls to spirits for even greater mystical powers. They are marked with the pact of the Spirit's Protection on their body as a sign of the contract."
Mia couldn't help but want to kick herself "The mark on his forehead…is that Spirit's Protection?"
"I believe so…though from what you say, he doesn't like people thinking of him as a Spirit Charmer. Not sure why."
"Offer their souls…"
Titania leaned against the wall, followed shortly by Mia "I'll admit in out earlier years together I wasn't too fond of Soren. I saw him at times as a self-centered, selfish, racist man."
Mia turned to Titania, not used to hearing these kinds of things from the older woman "But over the years I've grown to respect him…and at times I do feel positively towards him. It definitely helps thinking of how much he's changed…and of how much more he could change the closer you two become."
Blushing Mia turned away "If he lets it happen."
Hearing her sigh Mia looked back to see a sad expression across Titania's face "Feelings are difficult to control…fighting against them and hiding them is…hard…painful…he'll realize this...unlike me he has the opportunity to let them out...and I hope he understands that there are some things a person just can't keep bottled less they harm themselves for it."
Mia continued to look at the crimson haired woman, Titania looked away quickly and brought a hand up to her cheek before chuckling weakly "I'm sorry…forget I said anything."
"Titania."
Turning back, Titania smiled at Mia "I have to go…good luck, Mia."
Looking after the other woman as she vanished, Mia sighed "If there is one birthday wish I have…its happiness…for everyone…"
"I'm uh…good, Soren…haven't been out on a mission in a while. Though Boyd's constant actions rip his clothes so I have to fix em…quite a- sorry…you're not interested in-"
Soren shook his head "No Mist…ah…keep going."
Raising an eyebrow, Mist approached Soren "Are you alright?"
"Of course."
"It's just…you asked me how I've been…how my husband is…it's a little…odd."
Soren sighed "I don't want it to be odd…I just want normal conversation…I know I'm not known for that but I'm trying!"
The sage cursed, he raised his voice over the course of the sentence and was certain Mist was angry with him.
Instead the Valkyrie was just confused.
"I-I'm sorry Soren…you're right, you deserve to be treated normally not like that guy that never talks. You're a mercenary like the rest of us and family…I'm sorry."
The sage looked at Mist who held out a hand towards him, shaking it he shook his head "It's fine…I'm sorry for raising my voice."
"Well…Soren, are you considering getting anything for Mia's birthday?"
Mist almost added a comment about him not caring or something along those lines but stopped herself. Soren attended the Christmas celebration for the first time ever last year. Even after so many years she couldn't judge Soren on any of his past actions.
Letting go of and desires to remain silent or aloof Soren nodded "I am."
"R-really? I mean…oh…do you-"
"I have no idea what she likes…I feel…asking her would be…too obvious."
Mist couldn't help but smile, Soren had changed following the Mad King's War but this was something completely new.
"If you want, I can…ask her about it…I've done it a few times she'll know what I'm getting at."
Soren nodded "I don't…want to impose-"
"Nonsense!"
With another curt nod Soren thanked Mist and excused himself. After he left Mist turned around just as Boyd walked in the room "Woah…Mist…you look like you just accomplished some impossible feat, what's goin on?"
Shaking her head she moved past him, planting a quick kiss on his cheek "I'll tell you later! Gotta go!"
Following the sun's set the moon came up high in the sky, Mia stood outside in the cool air gripping her training blade tightly as Soren approached.
"Hey, Soren…odd seeing you out so late."
"I just noticed you forgot to tell me something."
"Oh?"
"Birthday wishes…why?"
Mia chuckled, putting her sword down "Why not? We all have things we wish from life…things that we hope happen. A birthday wish is…special…we let ourselves admit that there is something that we want be it some material possession or…"
Mia trailed off, eyes locking with Soren "…something more…"
After a short silence Mia shook her head "Birthdays are fun…people enjoy them…at its core it's just an event for people to be happy celebrating…"
"I've never had one."
"What?"
"You remember…when I told you about…my past."
Mia gestured for Soren to follow, the two sat on a bench with the swordmaster nodding "It was a…sad story…the pain you had to suffer through on your own…I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy."
"Any…guardians I had never bothered to introduce me to the custom…I grew older every year because I did…not once did I have a…birthday."
Mia moved one of her hands onto Soren's; the sage looked to her as she spoke "Why?"
"…why…what?"
"Why did you have to suffer so much Soren? What did you do or what did your parents do that…gave you such a life? So deprived of any joy of living…I feel angry for you just thinking of the things that happened to you. You didn't deserve any of it."
"For some reason, I feel that I do."
Mia shook her head and moved closer to Soren "You don't. Especially now, the person you've become despite your past deserves only the best from here on…"
"Mia…thank you…"
"You don't say…"
"Surely you noticed, he is your best friend."
Ike grinned before turning to Titania "He is…and I have seen him and Mia speaking a lot more lately…I didn't think it was quite like that though."
Titania and Ike looked out the window to Soren and Mia sitting on the bench near the training grounds talking.
"You think he'll let her in?"
Ike's smile faded as he thought of the truth Soren kept hidden, while he didn't think it should affect anyone's opinion about the man it wasn't his call to make.
"If he can allow himself to allow her in…"
Titania knew there was something there, years of experience and being around Ike made it easy to tell. However it was also easy to see that it wasn't something Ike could talk about freely.
Nodding she turned, followed shortly by the commander.
The time we spend together is…strange to me. Every time I look into her eyes or she holds my hand its even stranger to me. Those powerful feelings I felt during Christmas have come back in full force. Those distracting thoughts that caused my logical mind to stop functioning long enough for me to…
Soren looked up from the black leather bound book that Mia had given him during that fateful Christmas morning.
Kiss her.
Stopping again he looked at the words.
Not as a sentence.
But as an order.
From himself.
"Kiss her…"
Shaking his head he closed the book and put it on his table before lying on his back and looking at the ceiling.
Mia's Birthday
It was finally time, the Greil Mercenaries awoke all in light moods and greeted Mia while offering their congratulations and wishing her a happy day.
Soren stood outside as Mist approached him "Sorry I waited till the day of."
"It's…alright…"
"…"
"…"
"…Soren."
"What?"
"I…see you and Mia…together a lot…I'm not...reading too much into anything am I?"
Soren remained silent; anything he said would just be misconstrued…even if some parts of it were true.
"Soren. If there is something there, I think you're better off getting Mia something from the heart…however if I'm just being silly then I will say that Mia has recently picked up an outstanding fascination with some foreign creature called a Taguel."
Nodding Soren thanked her, earning a smile and a small bow.
"Hey! I hear someone here just got older!"
Turning Mia smiled "Ranulf!"
With a large grin the Laguz walked up to Mia and embraced her "Didn't think I'd miss a day of hanging with some of the very best Beorc this continent has to offer right?"
As the Mercenaries shared laughs and conversation Soren remained elsewhere. Ike had made him promise to cease all work today, at the very least just for Mia who wished everyone to have one enjoyable day free of worry in an otherwise hectic schedule.
Thinking over what Mist told him Soren vanished from the Mercenary Fort and headed into town.
"Walking?"
Mia nodded "Yep, it was Nephenee's idea, preferring to take in the landscape, you know her."
Boyd laughed "Indeed…think they'll be here soon?"
"Definitely." Mia stated with a smile.
"You know, as a Laguz I pride myself on my advanced sense and keen eye-"
"Yet you didn't see Nephenee and Heather's relationship coming did you?" Ike commented as he crossed his arms.
Ranulf turned "No…but don't you dare pretend that you did!"
Titania shook her head as Ranulf held his accusatory finger up towards Ike "Men."
"I tried! But even in the best of situations…she would choose a woman over me!" Gatrie cried out to which Shinon rolled his eyes.
"Even before that she clearly had no interest in you."
"You can't prove that!"
"C'mon Gatrie, you do know she sees you as a friend right? At the very least that's above most other men she encounters."
Taking Mia's words into account Gatrie shrugged.
"I'm going to continue preparing the cake, Rolf want to help?"
The younger man nodded and followed Oscar as Mia walked past the group now distracted by a story Ranulf was telling.
"Hey Rhys. You alright?"
The Bishop turned to Mia "What? Yeah, why do you ask?"
"You seem pretty withdrawn…is everything alright?"
"Of course and come Mia, you know I wouldn't act sour or lie on such an important day right? This is a day of lighthearted enjoyment! Let's get back to it!"
Mia nodded before skipping off.
As Rhys sighed to himself he spotted Titania heading his way "Heather and Nephenee should be here soon, I'm going out to meet them."
"Mind if I tag along?"
"You sure?"
Rhys looked back as the group as they broke out laughing at something Mia said.
"Yes."
"Taguel? What are these?"
Soren said looking at the doll in his hand, it looked like a rabbit though if the claims of the man were to be true; the being was bigger than Gallian Tigers, probably a size that rivaled the Lions.
"I believe they are form shifters like our Laguz though from a land far from Tellius."
"You believe others survived the Great Flood?"
The merchant smiled mysteriously before bringing a finger up to tap her chin "Do I?"
Raising an eyebrow Soren pulled out a bag and proceeded to pay her "So handsome, whose it for?"
Soren wanted to make a sarcastic comment but realized that any claim that he was getting it for himself would be instantly laughable.
"A…friend…"
"Oh, I think not."
"What?"
The woman laughed, gesturing him to lean in "See…I'm a master of reading faces. You're words said friend but your heart didn't."
"…who are you?"
"That my friend, is a secret."
At her smile Soren turned to walk away before doing something he once again didn't let his mind dissect "If I was to get something for someone I thought was special…what would it be?"
"Well…we women love anything given to us from a man we fancy that is…unique…buying things for another is great and hey the more money you throw my way is even better…but sometimes one object made by hand trumps thousands brought with money…so I've heard."
Thanking the merchant Soren proceeded back to the Mercenary Fort, catching sight of Titania and Rhys taking off most likely to meet Nephenee and Heather.
"C'mon Boyd at least-"
Before Mist could finish Boyd was on the ground again, groaning as Mia stood over him victoriously.
Mist sighed as Gatrie stood and picked up his training lance "Alright Mia, try me on for size!"
"Gladly!"
As Mist helped Boyd up she laughed "This is the strangest way one would enjoy their birthday."
"Beatin on all their friends…"
As the pair stood, Ranulf looked from the combat to new familiar scents. Walking towards the fort entrance he smiled and outstretched his hands "Ah! Nephenee! Heather! Good to see ya!"
The two smiled in some surprise to see Ranulf before them.
"What brings you here?" Nephenee asked to which the Laguz gestured to the rest of the Mercenaries.
"Much like you I've grown pretty close to these fellas, one's havin a birthday, better believe I'd show up."
At that moment Soren emerged from his room and walked out to see that Nephenee and Heather had arrived. He wanted to speak with the Halberd but now that she was here his thoughts were scattered and he wasn't sure what to say. Instead he decided to look about the room, remain close in case Nephenee separated from the others so he could have a word with her.
"You really meant that you just prefer women."
"I assume you did as well?"
"Indeed, I just didn't put it together at the moment that you literally meant it, silly me."
As the group began laughing Nephenee spotted Soren in the back, though he was examining the room he occasionally looked her way.
The sage turned all his attention on her as she broke away from Heather and Ranulf, stopping near him "Uh…Soren."
Glancing at her he nodded "Nephenee."
"Think of something to say…something…friends say…"
"Good to see you."
"I think that's good."
"Your lance arm still functional?"
"What!?"
Soren internally kicked himself as Nephenee scratched the back of her head and replied "I assume so, I'm not a regular trainer like Mia or anything…I just pick it up and things happen I suppose."
"Compliment her. Be nice to her."
"Natural talent is impressive…"
"That's good."
"What do you want?"
"Damn it!"
The former Halberd shrugged "Just…wanted to see how you were."
"How I am?" Soren gave her a particular look before voicing his thoughts. The Cerulean haired woman smiled and shuffled her feet before answering "Yeah…I mean…I don't want to sound like I'm pryin in your personal business but…"
Soren could see she was nervous as she looked at him, he honestly felt bad. If there was one thing he knew about Nephenee it's that she wasn't too social and most confrontations were a bit awkward. Knowing himself even better he knew he was making it stressful even though he tried not to.
As he prepared to ask something Nephenee cut him off "Having…feelins for someone…it's really hard. Especially if you don't rightly understand them."
"She's…trying to help…me?"
"Mia does consider you her best friend; I shouldn't be surprised that she…told you anything."
"I'm not judgin you Soren. I did the same when I…"
Trailing off Soren watched as Nephenee looked over her shoulder towards Heather who spotted her and blew a kiss in response.
Soren then looked to Nephenee to see a wide smile form on her face before she turned to him and continued speaking.
"When I realized I might have feelins for Heather…I tried to…fight against it…I was worried that I was odd and wasn't sure what anyone else would think. The more I fought it the more I realized I was in the wrong and bein bad to myself…denying myself what I…really wanted…"
"Pretty much what I've been doing…fighting against it…it didn't help Nephenee, but once she realized that…she fixed and now her and Heather are-"
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to preach or anythin…"
Sighing, Soren shook his head "Mia always tells me I have a…dark presence that unsettles people…Nephenee…I heard every word."
Nodding to her he started to walk away before turning back.
"Nephenee."
"Y-yeah?"
"What do you…what do you think would be a gift I could give Mia…something…special…"
Nephenee smiled "I…Mia always did like your drawings. She says you can be quite the artist."
"I actually...gave her one for Christmas..."
Nephenee knocked the side of her head with her fist and chuckled "Ya did...my bad...um...well, this is gettin into your business but...Mia really wants to know more about you."
As Soren remained silent, Nephenee continued "Your past, your family...she really is interested in all that..."
Soren looked down "I don't have a good past to speak of...but, thank you Nephenee. You've given me more to think on."
"A-anytime Soren."
"Sorry Gatrie."
The general stood up slowly and groaned "It's cool Mia, didn't expect any less…if you don't mind I'm gonna go…sit down…"
Mia laughed as Gatrie stumbled away before turning to see a very familiar woman approaching. A massive smiled formed on her face as she sheathed her blade "Nephenee!"
The best friends shared a powerful hug before Mia noticed Oscar.
"Hey Oscar, glad to see you out of the kitchen."
"I'm getting back to it soon, just wanted to say hi to our new arrivals."
The Lance Knight excused himself as Mia walked back out to the training field, casting a quick glance at Nephenee, this time noticing the necklace.
With a smile she spoke softly "That's beautiful."
She couldn't help but giggle at Nephenee's blush as one of her hands came up to touch it "Yeah…Heather calls it Cerulean Gold."
Mia smiled "It's truly wonderful to see you with someone...and to see you so in love…I really am happy for you Nephenee."
Nephenee smiled as Mia pulled her training blade out of the sheathe "Mia. I saw Soren a while ago…talked to him about…you know…I think I helped him with understandin everythin but I can't be sure."
Mia looked to the other woman and shook her head slowly "You're a true friend, you know that Neph?"
"Yeah…you tell me that all the time."
Looking down Mia spotted several other training weapons and picked up a lance.
"As a true friend, could you do something for me?"
Before Nephenee could ask what she found herself catching the training lance.
"Mia?"
Mia spun her training sword and aimed it at Nephenee "A few quick rounds, I haven't seen your relentless combat in a while."
"I-I don't practice…"
"That's fine, I'll go easy."
Nephenee thought about it and decided, why not? Mia was her friend and she knew she could count on her own innate talent.
As Mia swung her blade, Nephenee bounced it away, swinging against Mia she found herself pulling back quickly as several slashes from Mia came her way.
"Without a shield…I feel a little off."
"You'll get into it." Mia stated with a smile, already seeing the muscles tense in Nephenee's arm and her form grow stronger.
The weapons met again only this time the force caused Mia's sword arm to reel back. The strength behind Nephenee's blows was returning in full force.
Smirking Mia started to turn herself up a notch and began dashing around the field with Nephenee taking off after her, the former Halberd ran her down quickly and the pair's weapons clashed, releasing a much louder sound of impact.
"See?"
Mia smiled as Nephenee's expression changed to the one she recognized from the field of battle.
Smirking, Nephenee pushed through Mia's guard and struck her in the side. Rolling away Mia shot back up and struck Nephenee across the back, the woman swung about quickly, hair whipping out behind her as her lance struck Mia's back again.
Soren appeared at the top of the ridge, eyes widening at the pair as they danced around each other and their weapons struck.
The Nephenee he had spoken to earlier, unsure of her own talent was gone, the fully realized warrior from the Dawn War was back again and Mia was turning herself up to that level again. Both women wore very determined expressions as their weapons continued to strike one another.
Hearing a sound somewhat akin to a splinter, Soren was about to call out when Nephenee leapt into the air and Mia charged forward. Just as he expected a loud crack rang out and the training weapons splintered and fell apart.
Hearing footsteps, Soren turned to see Heather.
"What the…oh, hey Soren."
The sage turned and nodded to the rouge, the two looked to see Nephenee and Mia breathing hard and shattered training weapons between the two of them.
"Woah…they broke em?"
Soren nodded again "The force behind their blows…I expected this from Mia, but Nephenee is practically in her perfect form again."
"Strange as she never practices." Soren and Heather stated in unison, eyeing each other before turning to the pair who were now laughing on the ground.
Moving down to them Heather helped Nephenee up as Soren did the same for Mia.
"That was something."
"You were watching?"
"I actually came out here to speak to you but didn't want to interrupt; you seemed to be enjoying yourself."
"I was…so…what did you want to talk about?"
Remaining silent Soren looked over his shoulder to see Heather searching Nephenee for wounds; the Cerulean haired woman was blushing and trying to assure Heather that she wasn't hurt.
"Soren?"
"…it can wait."
"Are you sure?" The sage nodded at Mia, he had many things he wanted to talk over with her but he was still unsure about it. As hard as he tried Nephenee's advice kept running through his mind, instead of fighting it, just go with it but the rest of his body wasn't allowing him to do so.
At that moment, Heather moved towards the pair, addressing the swordmaster "It's great to see you again, Mia."
"You as well Heather, that necklace, very romantic, you sure there isn't something you should tell me?" At Mia's teasing tone, Nephenee grew red as Heather laughed.
"Not something you have to know!"
"Heather!"
Mia and Heather continued laughing as Nephenee looked away, embarrassed. Soren merely stood aside watching everything, questioningly.
Nephenee's eyes landed on him and she gave him a nod, which he returned, bringing a small smile to the former Halberd's face.
Sitting on the windswept hillside near the Mercenary Fort, Soren watched Mia, Nephenee and Heather stroll through the field while talking about the past and laughing without a care in the world.
"Soren."
"Ike."
The commander sat next to Soren and breathed in the fresh air before speaking "I must say…I'm ashamed to call myself your friend yet not notice the cause of your recent…behavior."
Soren eyed Ike who wore a smile on his face "To be honest I didn't think you'd ever take to anyone…I have to apologize for that assumption."
"How do you know there is something there?"
Ike laughed "You were never hiding it well, I just never noticed. It took Titania pointing out the obvious for me to realize it. The whole thing explains all of your behavior recently…given your past it isn't something that you're used to, right?"
The pair went silent as Soren watched Mia, Nephenee and Heather. The rogue approached Nephenee and hugged her, he honestly wondered what they were talking about and it reminded him that he was trying to get closer to everyone.
Mia turned and caught his eyes; she smiled and waved towards him. Almost instinctively Soren waved back before Mia gestured for Nephenee and Heather to follow her.
"I pride myself on my mind…"
"This I know."
"Yet…ever since these…feelings about Mia started developing I began missing the most obvious of details. The reason I can't commit to anything or admit anything to Mia is because of my past."
Ike nodded "That makes sense…you're worried about how she'd react when she finds out you're a…well…y'know."
"I took a chance with telling you…I'm…glad it changed nothing but-"
Soren found himself moving forward a bit as Ike smacked him in the back "C'mon Soren. You know Mia in at least some regard, can you actually imagine her turning away from you just because she finds out you're a Branded? Think about it. We've been together for years and while you don't find yourself as close to the other Mercenaries as you now want to be you should know they trust you and believe in you. I don't think a single person here would turn on you for being Branded I mean look at how we all reacted to Nephenee and Heather's relationship."
Thinking about it Soren shook his head "There wasn't…much of a reaction to speak of…"
"Exactly! I know speaking of your past is up to you…but if you want to pursue these feelings you have for Mia, and this is getting in the way…then get it out of the way."
Soren nodded "It sounds so simple."
At that Ike laughed lightly before putting a hand on Soren's shoulder "It is. You just have to trust yourself and believe in your relationship with Mia."
The day continued fairly normally, many birthday wishes were given to the swordmaster, though her main desire remained thusly: all the Mercenaries were to enjoy the day. As such Mia made sure they understood she was not asking for presents and didn't expect any.
Though deep down she continued to think of Soren, hoping he was enjoying himself even if just a little.
Entering the dining room, Soren watched the table being set in preparation for Oscar's cake. At that moment a woman appeared at his side and spoke.
"Hey again, Charmer."
"Heather…"
"You sure you alright? You don't seem to like talking to me."
"She picked up on that? She is smart."
"This better not be about Neph and I…honestly, I didn't think you were that kind of man."
Soren shook his head, he admitted he still found it somewhat odd but it was not the source of his…disdain.
"This is just about you, Heather."
"What did I do?"
Soren remained silent "Charmer…"
Hearing Heather groan he prepared to speak when she cut him off "Fine, I'm sorry, there! I don't know what for but I'm not gonna have you bein all sour during Mia's birthday. Lighten up."
Watching her cross her arms she turned away, frustrated. Soren sighed and recalled what Mia had told him about his presence; it wasn't his intention to upset Heather.
"Just…stop calling me…Charmer."
"…is that what this is about?"
The two turned to each other with Soren speaking "Mia asked me about it…it was…an uncomfortable talk…mostly for me…I had to lie to her…something I regretted doing…"
He watched as Heather gave him a questioning look before speaking "Spirit Charmers offer their souls for enhanced magical prowess…you seem like your all here though Soren…and I assume that was most people's impression of you after seein your mark. I don't know why you didn't want to talk to Mia about it but I'm sorry she asked you about something that made you uncomfortable."
Once again, Soren felt bad for bringing this up to Heather. He wasn't sure why but he wanted to make sure she understood that there was no animosity so he held out his hand.
"Mia really likes you…"
Heather added after a short silence.
Seeing her expression, Soren nodded "I...I know...I just don't know why."
Heather rolled her eyes "Is the why really the be all, end all? If it, ask her...and ask yourself. Why do you like her?"
Soren kept his eyes on Heather, here she was standing in front of him one of the more...unique beorc he's met. He had honest questions about her relationship but decided that maybe he should talk of less important things before building up to that. He wanted to take Mia's advice on making connections seriously.
"Thank you, Heather."
"Nothin to thank me for...Soren."
With that the rogue walked away.
Evening
Following the sun's set the Mercenaries were now enjoying cake and each other's company. Mia told Nephenee all the jobs the group had pulled in the recent months, they nearly ran themselves ragged but made good money for it. Despite any reservations they all truly enjoyed this day where they could just be happy.
Mia found herself smiling as Nephenee blushed at the swordmaster's question about marriage, followed by an incomplete and stutter-filled response.
"Sorry Neph, a little too much eh?"
Nephenee shook her head before facing Mia "I just…I just haven't really…thought about it."
Mia shrugged "Well, it has only been what? Eight or Nine months? It's fine to give it time and really think about it."
Nephenee smiled "Yeah…think about it…and you, Mia?"
"Hm?"
"I know you and Soren aren't really in a relationship…but would you want it to go that far?"
Now it was Mia's turn to blush and scratch her head while laughing nervously. "Should've expected that…eh…"
With a smile Nephenee put a hand on Mia's shoulder "It's alright, you don't have to say anythin…I just hope everythin works out on your end."
Mia nodded at that and embraced her friend "Me too and I have to thank you again for talking with him. He seems much more open and content with…advancing this whole thing…not a lot but what he can do and what he's trying to do is all I can ask for."
Nephenee smiled at that before speaking "Heather and I weren't instantaneous but we both knew each other and with time we grew closer…who knows it could've been much faster if I wasn't conflicted…either way I'm confident in saying it'll end well for you."
That Night
Soren exited his room, nearly all the other Mercenaries had gone to bed and he decided now was the most opportune time.
Knocking on Mia's door lightly he waited a few moments before she came out in a flowing orange robe "Soren? What are doin here so late?"
Soren gestured for her to follow, leading her out into the cool night he felt his nerves begin to build.
"I know it's late but…happy birthday, Mia."
She turned to say something only to see him holding out a Taguel plush towards her. With a large smile she took it and looked at the sage warmly "Soren…you didn't have to-"
"I wanted to…I really did…"
Still smiling, Mia sat down next to Soren, looking at the dark woods in the back of the Mercenary Fort.
"But there is something else I want to…do…"
At Mia's silence, Soren inhaled deeply "I want to…tell you about my past…specifically about what I left out."
"Soren. I don't want you to feel obligated to share something you-"
"I want to tell you."
Hearing that, Mia fell silent and nodded. Soren pushed all his fear down inside himself and recited his past. Only this time, he made sure not to censor anything, giving her the tale much the way he gave it to Ike.
He was born to a Laguz and Beorc parent as a Branded, a being despised, shunned and tortured by Laguz and Beorc alike. He told her of the woman who was cursed with raising him, of the sage who only desired to pass his magical teachings onto a worthy student and of the people of Gallia that ignored his existence, denying it.
Mia wanted to speak, to say something to console him as he spoke but she also didn't want to interrupt him as he told her of when he first met Ike, during a time when Soren could not speak, he hadn't learned.
Under the guise of being a Spirit Charmer he traveled to Crimea and was taken in and taught basic language before finding Ike and in a sense pledging his loyalty to the only person who treated him like…a person.
Fearing the worst, Soren turned to face Mia to see her tear stained face "Soren…that's horrible…even worse than I thought…being hated for being born…it's a wonder you had the strength to come this far."
"Sometimes I question myself as to if it was really worth it…though as of lately I found myself caring less about it."
"…Branded…"
"The only other person who knows is Ike…I told him this during the Mad King's War and…I firmly believed he'd be disgusted…"
Mia shook her head "Why? Branded or not you're a person, you're alive and you exist…and you have people who care about you."
Mia shuffled closer until her arm made contact with Soren's "I still remember what Gareth and Nasir told us in the Tower of Guidance…of the truth of the origin of the Branded…since inception you've been persecuted…for nothing. There was never any kind of supernatural law against the union Beorc and Laguz."
"Maybe not…but there is another reason I can't…accept the feelings I have for you."
Looking up to the moon Soren shook his head as he stood up, Mia followed him immediately and held his arm "I'm…going to outlive all of you…I'm going to watch you all grow old and die…eventually you'll all leave me alone…and I'll have no one…I can't…I can't love…I can't commit to a person knowing I'll live past them…long past them…with only their memory behind me."
"Soren."
Glancing at Mia he sighed "I'm sorry. It's still your birthday and here I am souring the celebration…I never intend to do these things but-"
"You can love Soren. Everyone can love. I understand why you're scared about losing everyone…and being alone…but you never will be…you'll live with us for all our lives…you'll probably live with our children all their lives should we have them…you'll see so much more and like I said, you can always make close friends and companions, more than any of us…you can be happy…you-"
"Not without you!"
The pair fell silent again, Mia and Soren shared expressions of shock, the sage once again lost control over himself and spoke without thinking. Even so he knew what he said was the truth.
"Ike was the only one I ever trusted and believed in for so much of my life…but you, Mia…are the only person who's ever…"
Mia brought one of her hands up Soren's face, smiling despite the tears in her eyes "I'm here now Soren…regardless of what the future holds for you…the present…has…me."
Seeing the blush in her face, Soren felt his chest tighten before covering Mia's hand on his cheek with his own.
"I'm not…I don't know about any of this…feelings are still new to me."
"Christmas and Birthdays were new to you as well but…I helped you with that, didn't I?"
Soren nodded as Mia smiled "I'll help you with this too…because what you feel for me…in here."
Mia's other hand; still holding the Taguel came up and pressed against his chest. "I feel the same thing…it hurts…but in a good way…it's desire…warmth…and…love…"
Soren looked at Mia's face, he saw in her eyes a very readable desire and he remembered that Christmas morning once again.
Was that right? Is it right now? What does it lead to?
"I don't…deserve you…"
Mia laughed and shook her head fiercely "You're wrong. With all you've been through…the strength and heart you've shown, you deserve anything and everything you fight for. Just like me with my sword training…we have unbreakable wills and desires…"
"Mia…"
As the swordmaster lowered her hands and pulled them away from Soren she kept her eyes on him "Ask yourself Soren. Right now…what do you want? Forget what you think you do or don't deserve…forget your past, your barriers…allow yourself something…anything."
Placing her Taguel on the bench, Mia faced Soren and smiled, something so simple yet it told Soren many things. As his mind began to think of what to do he realized that deep down he already knew the answer.
"I don't want to live beyond the lives of anyone…especially not Mia…but if this pain is any indication…not spending the time with her while she is here will hurt more than losing her…and I'll never learn if one such as I…can…love."
Moving forward, Soren put his hands on Mia's hips, she moved closer to him in response.
"I want…to try…"
"That's all anyone can do."
"For as long-"
"No thinking of the future…just live in the now…"
Going silent, Soren leaned in with Mia meeting him halfway. Lips came into contact with one another and the pain in his chest exploded into a warm pleasurable glow.
"Stop fighting it…stop denying yourself what you want."
As they parted slowly, they kept their eyes on one another.
"I want to try and be with you Mia."
"And I you…Soren…"
Casting aside any thoughts or doubts, Soren's arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in, bringing their lips together again.
What the future for them held he decided didn't matter right now. What would come would come but he wouldn't face it alone.
He'd face it with Mia at his side.