Waiting for the ship they were hitching a riding home in, Sam thought he'd never been more confused. Looking around at all the people that had followed him to Egypt on his advice he could barely believe it. How had all this come about? It was almost too good to be true that all the elements needed had come together to form the contingent that had wiped out the decepticons. The irony of serendipity being too much of a coincidence was almost funny, and darn near too convoluted to understand.
His head was spinning cause this battle had happened so fast and was over almost before it began. He was so TIRED! Not just physically or mentally. He could happily lay down and die again and be perfectly content to stay there until his body rotted away. He almost let out a half-hysterical giggle at that image.
He felt weird with some of the others now, the humans especially. They didn't understand what had happened and he couldn't explain it to them in enough detail or in just the right way that they would understand. It was like trying to explain color to the blind, or taste to a mech. As the old saying goes, "Seeing is believing". All anyone else saw was someone being revived... Everyone's seen it on TV; E.R., House, even soaps have names after hospitals. As for me bringing back Optimus, it goes back to the beginning. He's a machine. He was rebooted. I fixed his glitch. You name it, that's the answer. There was a lot of people that thought their explanation was the correct one. The human condition is almost savage in it's intent to stay alone in the universe. As long and the humans could look at the Cybertronians and see "Giant Japanese Computers" they were fine. Then I come along, muddying the waters with Holy Relics and visiting THE first Primes...
And the weird thing is that that's probably not what would freak people out. Not then and not now. No, what would really make them want to lock me away for a real long time and get me counseling is that I believe. I believe in the Matrix. I believe in the first Primes. I believe my Bee is my best friend in the entire world and I owe him a wash and wax. I absolutely, positively, superkalafragalistically believe in Optimus. I BELIEVE! It's a little unnerving to look at him now and know he was dead. Oh, I know in my head he's just a wise ole mech, but my heart sings with the knowledge that he would be there in a second if I needed him, helping me with whatever I needed. It's almost freaky to me just how much faith I have in him. But!, that faith has also been proven true. Optimus Prime has never let me down. He has never failed to do what he set out to do. He DIED for me... And so, I died for him also. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I know I don't want his gratitude. I didn't do it for reward or any type of gain. Simply put, I wanted my friend back. The friend that put himself aside and fought for his species. That was selfless for millennia as he fought the good fight. Having sparkbreak after sparkbreak when fellow soldiers or civilians offlined in their war. Personally, I'm not sure if the war ever ended if Optimus would be alright. He has fought so long and so hard that it's probably hardwired into his frame by now. Us humans think of being in the same job for five to ten years as a long time. Retirement after thirty-five years is an accomplishment... Primus help them to keep going, to keep LIVING.
Sam didn't feel ridiculous at all thinking these things. With what had happened to him over the years the time had seemed to stretch out longer with the fighting. If it felt like a never ending cycle to him then it must be an atrocious nightmare for the 'Bots. Fighting not just the 'Cons, but the humans as well. The government had been giving the 'Bots fits for years and he'd never once thought maybe he could make their fight just a little easier, a little less like combat. Looking back, he couldn't believe how selfish he'd been. Here he was lolly-gagging around, brushing off Bee, so he could go to College. While at the same time leaving his friends, compatriots, and companions out to dry to be eaten by the hyena. The worse thing though is thinking that they're okay with that. They understand and want the humans to be able to stay naive of the dangers of the universe. But, there also comes a time when you have to grow up and the rose colored glasses are lifted from you eyes. Today is that day for Samuel James Witwicky. Just like Optimus had said, "Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing." When that day comes you can either take up the reigns of your life and lead it or you can scream your head off and stuff your head in the sand. Personally, running and sticking your head in the sand in his experience just gets you shot in the rear, but that's unfortunately how most humans would handle situations like this.
Seeing Optimus standing in the distance packing away his new/old parts, watching the clean-up and repair going on around him Sam got a bizarre, almost out of time feeling in his gut. He had one of those moments that only come along once or twice in a lifetime. His situation, friends, family, and himself came to him in sharp relief, like he was seeing everything for the first time. He knew he could go back to the way he was before, blissfully ignorant of the things expected of him and go back to college. He didn't know what the consequences of doing such a thing would be but he'd already decided not to go back to that. His friends look on him as a source of strength and courage. He could see how that had come about but felt very uncomfortable with it. He didn't think of himself as overly strong or brave. His family, his dad especially looked at him proudly but with a wistfulness at those earlier times when they were just Sam, Ron, and Judy. Sam was most uncomfortable with knowing himself. He had grown so much since the Autobots had come that he was almost unrecognizable from his former self. Now, he couldn't see himself kicking his best friend out of the car for a girl. He couldn't see himself being envious of a muscle bound idiot of a football player. He couldn't believe that his former self had tried to sell important familial artifacts on EBAY of all places, and he definitely didn't see himself as "LadiesMan217". Running away when Optimus had pleaded for help was an action his former self had taken, and he was glad that that's not who he was anymore. Taking a deep breath of what felt like the first fresh air in years he look upon himself with a sense of pride and accomplishment. Oh, he knew not to take it too far, else 'Hide would fire up his cannons but knowing himself now and knowing what he was willing to do in future gave him strength of self. His skin fit. His heart settled. His eyes took on new knowledge and wisdom. He knew, that he knew, that he knew. His knowing was absolute... There was no going back.