A/N: Umm...yeah. Something random to work on when not on YKYR. My attempt at comedy, ladies and gentlemen.

Disclaimer: Don't own YGO.

Dread. Nothing but pure, raw dread. Oh, what could be so dreadful to put Malik Ishtar, angst-ridden teenager slash evil genius into a state of such misery?

Seto absolutely refused to kiss him at school.

He had just downright denied Malik of a simple little kiss! One, teeny tiny smooch on the cheek if not lips. Oh, Malik was not feeling so well and energetic now. Nope, just the normal amount of self-brought tradgedy you'd expect from a guy whose back had been carved with a hot knife by his own father and had been thrown out of his own body by a personality he created to take all the pain and misery he was being dealt with and had just been told 'no' to a kiss from his own boyfriend. ...Yeah, normal.

Ryou, Malik's best friend, noticed immediately when the normally radiant violet eyes had clouded with sadness and just as quickly came to his side to find out the problem.

"Malik! What's wrong?" he asked worriedly. Malik looked at his British friend for a moment before dramatically throwing himself on said boy, wailing his tale of woe.

"Seto won't kiss meeeeeeeee!" he whined. Ryou, blushing from the contact and subject, stuttered a bit.

"W-why?"

"I don't knooooooooooooow!"

"W-well where is he?"

"I don't knooooooooooooow!"

Ryou sighed and gently pushed Malik off of him. Malik sat back down on the table bench, sniffling childishly. So much for angst-ridden teenager.

"Maybe he's just not comfortable with having your relationship out in the open yet." Ryou tried. Malik sniffled again.

"But we've been dating for months! And we've made-out in the movie theater millions of times! What's wrong with my Setoooooo!" he wailed again, ignoring Ryou's obvious discomfort with the information that he had just required about Malik and Seto's dates.

"Well, you guys are in the dark at movies. Maybe being around everyone here is just unnerving to him."

"But why isn't it to me?"

"...Malik..."

"Yes?"

"You have no shame."

Malik blinked a few times, and looked down at the white button up shirt he had tied up just below his chest. He had also rolled the sleeves up and had a few buttons unbuttoned, showing part of his chest teasingly.

"Hey, you're right, Ryou! I don't have shame!"

Ryou blushed and fought the urge to slap his forehead. "Anyway, Malik, why don't you go find him and talk to him about it?"

"Because I'm laaaazyyyy!"

Ryou groaned, and held no restraints to his palm, a muffled slap now heard as it collided with his forehead and white bangs. He sighed, giving Malik a look.

"Then what can I do for you right now?" he asked. Malik thought for a moment.

"Go dry-hump Otogi crying out, "I love you Ryuuji!" over and over until you co-"

"Malik Ishtar!"

"Whaaat? It'd make me feel better."

"Malik!"

"Sheesh, fine. If you won't do that then just go ask him out already."

Ryou didn't even bother to yell Malik's name, choosing instead to give him one of his rare glares.

"No." Insert mad, insane blush here.

"Then I'll go do it for you."

"Malik, no!"

"Oi, Otogi!"

"Malik!"

"C'mere! Ryou wants to ask you somethi-"

"Malik, shut UP!"

Malik grinned at Ryou. "He's not even out here."

Ryou looked around, finding that indeed, his crush was not currently outside. Thus the reason he gave Malik a Bakura-glare and a Ryou-pout at the same time.

"You're mean."

"I know. So is Seto..."

And the eyes swell up...

"WAAHH! SETOOOOO!"