A/N: This story is a direct sequel to Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way vs Canon, so I advise you read that first unless you want to be confused as all hell.
~ Cookie VanDeKamp ~
Hermione buried her head under her arms.
"Kill me now."
"Look," said Harry, "don't panic just yet. Maybe this won't be so bad."
"Yeah," Ginny agreed, "I mean, we survived dealing Tara Gilesbe of all people. And we put up with Ebony for a while, and we all survived."
"Just barely," Ron muttered.
"The point is… try not to panic."
The girl walked up to the table and began to speak. Her voice was more musical than the most beautiful flute, more calming than the wind on a hot summer's day, sexier than—
The horrible description was interrupted by the girl—Sapphire Eleanor Rose Suzette de Mont—saying, "Wow! You're Harry Potter!"
"Um… yeah, I guess," Harry said.
"I know all about you! You defeated the Dark Lord and killed Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way!"
"Yeah—wait. How'd you know about Ebony?" He frowned. "That barely happened two weeks ago, and no one outside of Hogwarts even knew that Ebony existed."
"Lucky them," Draco muttered.
Sapphire laughed. "You silly. Why wouldn't I know?"
"He just told you," Ginny replied.
"Like I said, I know all about him." She turned, walking away, and looked back. "I can't wait to hang out some more!"
They watched her go, as she bumped into a first-year Hufflepuff (not badly) and said, holding back sobs, "I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry! Can you forgive me?"
"The hell?" Ginny said.
"I don't think a little bump warrants 62 uses of the word 'so,'" said Luna.
The first year looked confused, too. "It's okay." He blinked and added, blushing. "You're really pretty."
Sapphire sighed and said, "No I'm not. Look at me! Look at this long, luxurious, never-gets-tangled-ever golden hair, symbolizing my purity! I'm—I'm a hag!"
Never before have so many eyes rolled at once.
Harry glanced at his friends. "You can panic now."