Avenger's Secret Santa

Introduction

It was all Steve's fault. Tony was sure of it. It was always Steve's fault. Him and his need to try and do 'group bonding.' Tony thought it was ridiculous. They were work colleagues. They didn't need to 'bond.' They worked just fine. However Steve was not that interested in listening to him. Tony didn't care. Tony was having all the fun in the world. Tony did not want to team bond.

Never the less Tony was in S.H.I.E.L.D HQ lounging in a chair in a room with the rest of the team; wishing he were in his workshop, or drinking.

"What's Fury doing here?" Tony whispered loudly to Bruce who was sitting awkwardly next to him. Obviously wishing, that he too, were anywhere else.

Fury stood in the corner and glared at him from his one eye. As Tony ignored the angry eye he looked around the room and saw that everyone looked unhappy to be there. Clint was leaning against the wall with his sunglasses on glaring at the floor. Natasha was standing rigidly next to him filling her nails in trackies and a S.H.I.E.L.D. issued t-shirt. Thor was talking quietly, quietly for Thor at least; to Agent about some food he had eaten the previous week when he got lost in Boston. Thor was an interesting being. Then at the head of the table, watching all the glaring, uncomfortable people was Steve with an honest to God, or Odin, Santa hat. Tony presumed with everyone's names in.

"So, um…thanks for, uh, coming. This was something that I learnt about since I've, err, been back. Secret Santa. And people do it with their colleagues, as something fun."

"What is this Christmas?" asked Thor looking confused. Everyone looked around at each other, no one knowing how to explain the concept of God and Jesus, and no one really wanting to.

"I'll give you some reading on the subject." Said Agent to Thor.

"So, anyway," Steve continued "I thought we could do it. Everyone's names here and we just pick it out. It's the first of December now so we just make sure we give people their presents by the twenty-fifth. Yeah so I'll go first. Also don't forget it's meant to be a secret"

Steve held the hat in one hand and reached in with the other. He read the piece of paper and smiled, putting it in his pocket. Next Fury stormed over to the hat and shoved his hand in roughly to the hat and grabbed a name out. He didn't even look at the piece of paper before storming out of the room. Bruce went next. He nervously picked out his paper, looked at it, then his demeanour became more relaxed and he strolled out the room.

Thor smiled at everyone and clapped his hand on Steve's shoulder. "Shield brother I shall happily join you in this wondrous tradition."

As he grabbed his paper and left the room with a wave. Tony couldn't help the feeling that the room got a little bit duller when he left. It was always like that with Thor. He was a bright light. Someone who always made things bigger and better than what they were. There was no doubt in Tony's mind that Thor could be as blood thirsty and as ruthless as in the stories; but with them? He was just a fun ball of light.

Clint went up next and pulled out a name, looked at it and put it back. "It was my own name." He mumbled before pulling out a new name and slipping out the room with Natasha hot on his heels with her own piece of paper in her hands.

Agent walked up and got a piece of paper from the Santa hat. Tony couldn't help but laugh as Steve went red. Agent just glared at him and, remembering the threats he had previously received of Agent, Tony stopped abruptly. Agent just walked off like he had a million other things to be doing, which Tony suspected he probably did.

With Agent gone it was just Tony and Steve left in the room. Tony glared at Steve and Steve glared back.

"What if I don't like the person I get?"

"Then you shouldn't have picked last."

"Can I swap with you?"

"There should be no one on the team that you don't like."

"What if I get Fury?"

"Just pick the paper out of the hat Tony."

"I never actually said I would do this."

With that Steve slammed down the hat in front of Tony and walked out of the room saying, "Just get the person in the hat a present, it is not that difficult. Not even for someone as spoilt as you."

Tony glared at the empty room before putting his hand into the hat and pulling out a name.

"Oh fuck."