Chris reined Pony to an abrupt stop in front of the livery, shouting up the stairs for Nathan.

"He ain't there." JD came up from behind them.

"Shit. On patrol?"

"No, just at the church helping Josiah. Why? What's wrong?"

"Ezra's hurt." JD paled, and turned to follow Chris's gaze. Vin was riding in, Ezra slumped back against him, unconscious. JD blanched. "Where's Buck. Chris what happened to Buck?"

"Easy kid. He's coming behind us. He had something to do." Chris's voice sounded off. Clearly there was more to the story here, but this wasn't the time.

JD nodded. "Okay, you help Vin. I'll fetch Nathan."

"No. I'll get him. You help with Ezra. He'd rather have it that way."

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A few days later Chris stood on the street in front of the livery, looking up to where Nathan was currently occupied. He wanted to go up and check on things, to see for himself that Ezra was healing up. But he couldn't. He knew he wasn't welcomed right now, and likely never would be again.

The others had been keeping him informed and trying to bolster his spirits at the same time. He knew Ezra would be alright. Was going to take some time for the injuries to heal up properly, but they would. The body would recover, spirit would take longer. The forgiveness would likely never come.

Chris saw Nathan come to the window, opening it to allow some fresh evening air into the room, probably hoping to get relief from the daytime heating. He caught the healer's eye and silently asked for an update. Nathan smiled and gave a reassuring nod but didn't speak. That told Chris what he needed. The message reached Ezra as well.

"I presume Mr. Larabee is once again in the street below?" Nathan turned back slowly. "You would have spoken if anyone else had been inquiring as to my present state."

"Yeah, he was passing by. He's not coming up Ezra."

"Good."

"You can't avoid him forever."

"I can make a concerted effort."

"Four Corners is a pretty small town."

"That presumes I intend to remain."

That brought Nathan to full attention. "Seriously? You gonna leave?"

"It is an alternative I am considering."

"Disappoint a lot of folk if you do."

"Disappointment is a part of life Mr. Jackson."

Nathan hated to see Ezra hurting in a way he simply couldn't heal. "Don't do that. I get that your mad at Chris but –"

"My apologies, Nathan. I am tired and more than slightly out of sorts."

"Understandable. I'll go over and get you some dinner."

"I have no desire to eat."

"Told you before Ezra. That's not an option. You have to keep yourself nourished if you expect to heal up. Now do you think you can handle stew, or just soup?"

Ezra didn't answer, but at least he didn't argue. Nathan puttered around for a few minutes, tidying the already neat space to give Ezra the time to make up his mind.

"Soup. And have someone else bring it." Damn, he must've really pissed him off. Before he could reply, Ezra added, "You need to take some time yourself to sit and relax. Time away from me and my decidedly sour mood."

"I'm fine Ezra."

His patient laughed with no humour. "You do not allow us to express that sentiment, yet you use it on a regular basis. Please, take the time. But do not send Josiah. I don't think I can cope with his restrained solicitousness again."

"I think Vin is around. That be okay?" Getting an affirming nod, Nathan headed down to accomplish his task.

Chris was waiting on the steps in front of the saloon, whittling a stick into nothing more than wood chips. He looked as dejected as Nathan could remember ever seeing.

"He feeling any better?"

"Pain's not as bad today, but that knee is gonna take some time."

"Didn't mean his body."

"I know. He still pretty quiet about everything." Nathan hesitated before continuing. "He's thinking about leaving town."

Chris leaned back against the wall, knock his hat off kilter. He didn't bother to fix it. "Shit. Can't say that I'm surprised."

"Well I am. I thought he was settled now."

"His kind, our kind, never really settle. And he spent his life moving on when things got too hard."

The healer disagreed. "But that's changed. For all of us."

"Apparently not." He thought for a moment before speaking again. "Let him know if he'd rather stay, I can move on."

Nathan almost fell over. "Are you crazy? Are you both crazy?"

"He shouldn't have to leave."

"Yeah, well neither should you. Look, Chris, this stinks. It all stinks. But leaving isn't the answer."

Chris looked his friend in the eye. "Then tell me what is."

Nathan shrugged. "We start with time, and support. And we see what happens from there."

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Vin tapped lightly on the door to let Ezra know he was coming in. Not that it was possible to climb those stairs quietly, but he figured the southern gentleman would appreciate the courtesy.

"No need to be so formal Vin. You are welcome to enter."

"Just making sure you weren't asleep. I got soup and some fresh rolls from bakery." Ezra nodded without enthusiasm but made no move toward the meal. "You ain't gonna make me spoon-feed you, are you?"

With a noticeable sigh, Ezra shifted himself up in the bed, grimacing as the sharp pains shot through his chest. He took in a quick breath, holding it to keep his cracked ribs from feeling any more pressure. He waved off the offer of help, fidgeting and shuffling until he got his splinted leg into a manageable position. It took almost all the energy he had left to pick up the spoon from the tray that Vin settled on his lap and scoop a small amount onto it. Only about a third of the meal was eaten before he was putting the spoon down heavily.

"I cannot manage any more at this time."

"What about some bread?"

Ezra just shook his head. Vin debated briefly the idea of challenging the decision but couldn't bring himself to force Ezra on anything at this point.

"So, you really gonna leave Four Corners?"

"Good news travels quickly I see."

"Not funny Ezra."

"You assume I speak in jest."

"I assume you speak in anger. And grief. Don't think you should be deciding anything until you've had some time."

"And precisely what changes will come with time?"

Vin stood and reached over to take the tray away. "For one thing, a chance to think things through."

"You all continue to propose that, but I have yet to determine precisely what it is I need to think through. I know the facts. I know the actions, and I know the results. What is left to review?"

"Well, one thing you don't know was how Chris feels about all of this."

A cloud came over Ezra's face. "I do not need to know that."

"Well I hate to disagree with you, but you do. For one thing, he says he'll leave town so that you don't have to."

That bit of news came as a complete surprise. Of all the various scenarios he'd envisioned for his future, that one had never crossed his mind.

"That would be foolish and ill advised. There is far more holding Mr. Larabee to this town than there is for me."

Vin took it is a good sign that Ezra was still giving some consideration to Chris's feelings. But he still wasn't pleased about the sentiment. "So, we don't hold you here?"

Ezra looked away as he answered. "I cannot say that it would be sufficient. I do not want to leave Vin. I simply do not believe that I would survive the alternative."

"I get this is hard on you Ezra. It couldn't be any other way. But you have to understand. Chris had no choice."

"I really do not want to hear anything more on the matter." He could see Vin was about to speak again. "Please. I am tired and sore. I simply want to try to rest. It will make Nathan inordinately happy for me to do so." Ezra tired to keep the pain from his face as he settled back down, closing his eyes.

"You can't avoid this forever Ezra." Vin reminded him. "But I guess one more day won't hurt much."

Ezra remained motionless in the bed, hoping against all hope that Vin would take the hint. Eventually he did, and Ezra let out a small sigh when he heard the door close. He cautiously opened one eye, to reassure himself that Vin was in fact on the far side of that door. Seeing that he was alone, Ezra allowed himself to relax for a moment, putting aside the efforts to keep his pain and emotions hidden.

He hadn't lied to Vin. He was tired, more than tired. But closing his eyes, falling asleep, meant he was risking another nightmare. Another vivid replaying of the moments that had led to all of this.

They should have taken refuge when the storm started, but they all just wanted to get back home. Chris, Vin, Buck and Ezra had been on the road for four days, delivering prisoners, and now getting back home. Under normal circumstances it wouldn't have required four men for the job, but Chris had been certain the prisoners they were escorting would try to escape, or their gang would try to break them free. Neither occurrence happened. The only trouble on the ride had been that this trio was the most vile, foul mouth, obnoxious scum that they had ever dealt with. Ezra repeatedly threatened to gag them, and on occasion Chris had come close to approving the act. It was slightly more civilized than Buck's suggestion of shooting them, or at least shooting one as a warning.

Chris couldn't remember a time he'd been more relieved to hand over prisoners to another lawman. The foursome stayed in town overnight but even Ezra didn't object to the early start the next day to get home. Without the need to go slowly because of the bound prisoners, they could pick up the pace and be home by noon the next day, saving hours on the trip. They hadn't counted on the weather.

"We're gonna have a storm tomorrow." Vin noted as they set camp for their final night on the trail. "Sky is moody." Ezra looked sceptical, but both Chris and Buck tended to agree.

"I can assume the intention will again be to rise at an ungodly hour?"

"Sooner we head out, sooner you get to the comfort of home Ez." Buck yawned widely as he spoke.

"And the sooner you will be able to avail yourself of some female companionship."

"Three nights sleeping alone." Vin added with a grin. "Must be some kind of record for you."

Buck shrugged. "Gone longer, but I try not to think about it."

Sunrise cast a bright pink and red glow, and the men knew Vin's prediction had been accurate. They were riding toward the storm clouds but were still surprised when the rain suddenly became torrential less than an hour later. The cloudburst ended quickly but the trail along the ravine was now muddy and soft, and they slowed their pace considerably to accommodate it.

They could hear thunder rumbling in the distance as the sky flashed brightly several times. Buck voiced the opinion that they should look for shelter, and Ezra turned his head to voice his support for the idea. At that instant, a loud crack matched up to a lightning bolt shooting to the ground, hitting a tree some 100 feet away. The air sizzled, the smell of ozone permeated the area and the ground shook. All of the horses startled, but Ezra was the only one without a tight grip on the reins. Chaucer ran forward, spooked by everything that had crashed around him so quickly. Ezra was caught off balance and tumbled sideways, holding on but hanging precariously, unable to regain control of the panicked animal. He could feel Chaucer turn, and then veer back abruptly again. The soft ground and sudden movement was too much, and both horse and rider fell. Ezra screamed as he felt his leg turn beneath him as he hit the ground. The jolt caused him to twist, slamming himself chest first into some rocks. It was just a couple of seconds till he heard Vin at his side. "Stay still Ezra. Don't move. You're busted up, but I'm guessing you can feel that." Chris's voice sounded distant. "How is he?" Vin's response sounded just as fuzzy to him.

"Leg's busted. Having trouble breathing and he split his head open. How's Chaucer?"

Ezra turned his head at the question and regretted it instantly. Nausea swept over him and the world spun. Nevertheless, he managed to gasp out one word. "Chaucer?"

"Stay still dammit. Ezra, stop." Vin carefully placed a hand on his chest, holding him in place without applying too much pressure.

"You both went down. Just stay put. Chris and Buck are with Chaucer."

"I have to –" Ezra brushed Vin's hand aside and tried to sit up again. Pain shot through him and he felt himself fading out.

He could understand only a scant few of the words floating around him. "broken…bad…too much…nothing we can…". The one that resonated most, the one that sunk through was "no choice." He forced himself to turn his head again, ignoring his body's reaction to the action. He tried to talk but couldn't form the words. The last image seared into his mind was that of Chaucer lying twisted on the ground, with Chris shaking his head as he stood over him, reaching for his weapon. The sound of the shot echoed through his brain and he bolted upright, screaming in several levels of agony before passing out completely.

Ezra vaguely recalled waking up from time to time on the ride home. His leg had been roughly splinted. He knew he should care about that but couldn't find the will. He discovered he was riding with Vin. The sharpshooter spoke softly every time he moaned or stirred. He kept one arm wrapped tightly around Ezra, trying to offer both literal and figurative support. He never acknowledged the comments directed to him. Once he made the effort to pull away but was too weak to succeed and Vin answered by intensifying his grip. Through blurred vision, he could see Chris riding a few lengths ahead. He had no idea where Buck had vanished to. Probably gone ahead to get help. He really didn't care.

He saw, or more accurately heard, Chris pick up the pace. A moment later Vin's voice whispered at him again. "Were almost home Ezra. Nathan will get you fixed up and you'll be fine."

"Don't want Nathan."

"He's gotta look at you Ez, you're hurt. Concussion, cracked ribs, and your leg is busted up bad."

"Than just have Mr. Larabee shoot me as well." His voice was bitter, and Vin was at a loss on how to reply. He didn't have to when he felt Ezra go slack against him, surrendering once again to the exhaustion and pain.

TBC

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