This story is an alternate history JoLu story that I started awhile back. The history will unfold as you read. Let me know if you would like me to continue.

PREFACE

"Brayden Joseph! Come on little man, where is Mommy's book?"

Lulu knew that negotiating with a toddler was fighting a losing battle, but was at a loss for another tactic. She had already overslept, and due to ridiculous rules at the university daycare, now had to drive an extra twenty minutes out of her way to drop her son off before taking one last final.

"Uck!" the little voice called from his room. Lulu could not help but crack a smile at his pronunciation of the work 'truck'. "Vroom!"

Giving up on the fantasy that Brayden would give her the answer she needed, she decided to forego the last minute cramming session and the bowl of cereal she was going to eat during it altogether. Instead, she turned around to get her child dressed.

"Ow!"

She looked down towards the throbbing pain and realized that Brayden's truck had gone rogue right into her shin.

"B, let's hope this day gets better, because I don't think I can afford to fail this exam."

(1 hour later)

"No, you must not have been listening the first two times I told you, so let me repeat this again. I need you to clear my schedule for the day."

Johnny stared at the screen on his laptop. His calendar was packed with meetings regarding potential business partners in the Boston area. These were the days that made him regret building up a legitimate business in his name, but he had two huge incentives to spend more time in Boston, and today was a perfect example of why his strategy had been paying off.

"Absolutely not. I am clearing the calendar for the entire day, understood?"

He slammed his finger against the end button on the phone and began gathering the paperwork off of the bed in his hotel suite. It was moments like these when he wished he would have gone ahead and purchased his own place in Boston by now. He had spent way too many nights in rooms just like this one.

The knock at the door pushed Johnny's regrets aside. He knew most men would see an unscheduled weekday with their child as an inconvenience, but instead, Johnny was thrilled to have extra time with Brayden. He rushed to hide the paperwork in front of him before opening the door and plastering a big smile on his face.

"Da!" Brayden shrieked, holding his arms out to Johnny, who happily obliged him, planting a kiss on his cheek as he gathered him in his arms. It had only been two weeks since they had last seen one another, but the baby seemed to have grown drastically.

"I'm so sorry to spring this on you at the last minute. I just can't miss this exam," Lulu babbled, letting herself into the hotel room and closing the door behind her.

"Lulu, I already told you on the phone; it's no big deal. I am happy to empty my calendar and spend the day with the little monster here."

Johnny knew that his words were not going to sink in with Lulu. She held herself to an impossible standard of single parenthood, and no amount of help from anyone, especially him, would ever change that.

"I should be done by 5, so by the time I get back out here, he may need dinner," she thought aloud, paying no attention to his comment. "I packed a box of rice cereal for him, and if you want to cut up some bananas and throw them in, he loves that. I figured the hotel would charge a lot for fruit, so I put some organic bananas in the side pocket of the diaper bag."

"Actually," Johnny started, setting the squirming child on the ground, "I was thinking that I could bring Brayden back towards your side of town. Maybe we could take you out to dinner to celebrate…"

"What are we celebrating?" she questioned, rummaging through the diaper bag that was still sling across her body. It took a lot of self control to prevent Johnny from laughing at her. She finally pulled out the desired object - Brayden's sippy cup - and handed it to him.

Johnny took the cup from her, unable to ignore the feeling of their fingertips brushing against one another for a brief, yet beautiful, moment. The contact sent shockwaves through his chest, but he quickly regained his composure. It was not the time to let his feelings distract him. Instead, he helped her remove the diaper bag from her shoulder.

"We are celebrating the fact that you're done with school."

She shook her head once her arm was free of the heavy accessory. "I still have to pass my boards next month. I am just done with the classroom stuff."

"You finished your nursing degree in record time, all while raising our son, practically by yourself. It's a big deal, and I have no doubt that you will pass your boards with ease. Come on, it's one dinner. I'm sure it will be better than the cup of noodles you'll inevitably make for yourself by the time you get home and get Brayden to bed..."

"I don't..."

"Hey, Brayden..." he interrupted her refusal, pulling his attention from the wheel on the bottom of the desk chair that had infatuated him, "Mommy deserves a treat, right?"

"Tee... Tee!" he repeated with enthusiasm, clapping his hands together.

"Using the kid? That's a low blow, Zacchara," she rolled her eyes and pulled her car keys from her purse. "Fine, we'll have dinner. But nothing extravagant. We can grab a pizza or something."

"You here that, B? She said yes, so it's a promise. And Mommy knows not to break promises."

"Nice," she murmured under her breath before turning her attention to our son.

"Get over here, little man," she called, gathering Brayden in her arms when he dashed over to her. "You be good for Daddy, ok? Don't let him spoil you. And I'll see you for dinner. Now give me a big kiss for luck on my test."

She ran her fingers through the black curls on his head and kissed him before passing him back to Johnny.

"I should be home by 6, so come by my place and we'll go from there. And Johnny, I'm serious. Please do not spoil him too much."

(5:45 p.m.)

Lulu glanced at the clock on her dashboard when she pulled into the parking garage in her building. The exam had been more intense than she had anticipated, leaving her at a new level of exhaustion. Now she had only fifteen minutes left until Johnny and Brayden would be at the doorstep to go to dinner. She thought that being finished with the test would ease her nerves, but the impending evening made the anxiety intensify.

As she walked up the stairs to her apartment, her cell phone started vibrating in her pocket. She was able to ignore it the entire drive home from school, but now as Lulu reached her doorstep, she gave in and answered it.

"Maxie! I only have 10 minutes to shower and change before dinner. So please, I'm begging you... Make it fast."

"Ooh, dinner? I'm glad you finally took my advice and got yourself back in the game. Who is the guy? Some hot med student? I knew that you went into nursing school to hook up with some kind of sexy surgeon…"

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there is no guy," Lulu groaned, traversing the floor full of toys until she reached the bathroom. Although Maxie has been the cause of her breakup with Johnny, she had been an incredible friend throughout Lulu's pregnancy and ever since. She did not agree with Lulu allowing Johnny to spend time with Brayden, so Lulu avoided going into more detail and turned the tables on her friend. "And why are you interrogating me when you are the one who owes an explanation here?"

"What's that?" she feigned innocence through the phone as Lulu flipped the phone on speaker and made her way into the shower.

"Maxie, I never sent my resume to General Hospital. So I did find it odd when Epiphany called me to offer me an interview on the exact same day that Brayden and I get into town for your wedding."

"Lulu, that's great! You know, GH is an incredible hospital. It would do wonders for your career if you work there. I don't see what the big deal is."

"The big deal is that I don't live in Port Charles anymore, and that is for very good reason."

"But you totally could move back here. Think about it, Lulu. If you moved back here, you would have a ton of great babysitters, not to mention that Brayden could spend more time with family. I know his uncles and cousins would love it. You would too."

Lulu chose not to point out the fact that Maxie left Johnny out of the list of Brayden's family. "Weren't you the one who drove me to the airport back when I moved to Boston? You said that Port Charles was not safe for me or for Brayden."

"Things are different now," Maxie disagreed. "You know that."

Before Lulu could pose a rebuttal, she heard a knock at the door. "Shoot... Maxie, I have to go."

"Why? Who is there?"

"Annabelle," Lulu spat out Brayden's babysitter's name immediately as she finished and turned off the shower. At this point, she would feed Maxie any lie to get off of the phone. "Goodbye, Maxie."

"Fine, but this is not over. You are going to that interview..."

Lulu stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her body and hitting the end button on her phone before Maxie could continue her lecture. She turned her attention to the continued knocking on her front door and held the towel tight against her body as she went to answer it.

"Sorry, I'm running a little late," she explained. "I just need ten minutes."

Johnny remained in the hallway. Lulu realized at that moment that he had never actually stepped foot inside of her apartment. He had picked Brayden up and brought him home several times, but the transfer was usually quick and always took place in the lobby downstairs.

"Come on in," she offered, stepping aside to let him in. "Sorry the place is such a mess."

He smirked and placed Brayden on the floor next to a pile of children's books. "You should see my hotel room after a few hours with this kid. We had a blast, but I'm sure that housekeeping will deserve every bit of their tip tomorrow."

"I only packed a few toys – how can it be that ba-" She stopped herself before continuing. "Did you take him to the toy store?"

"No, it was more like a bookstore that happened to have educational activities," he clarified.

"Johnny, you have to stop spoiling him. I don't want Brayden growing up thinking that he can have anything he wants because you have money."

"Because I have money? Are you having money issues, Lulu? Because I am happy to pay child support…"

"That's not what I was getting at," she interrupted, "I'm fine with money. And I don't want to get into the child support debate again. I just want our son to be well grounded and know the value of hard work."

"Which is exactly why I wanted to take you both to dinner tonight. You have been working your tail off since before he was even born to get your degree and provide for him all at the same time. He's got a great role model in the work ethic department, and we should celebrate that in front of him."

Instead of arguing with him, Lulu shook her head and turned to get dressed. "Ten minutes, then we'll go."

(8:45 p.m.)

"To Mommy," Johnny raised his wine glass and helped Brayden lift his sippy cup in a toast. He watched Lulu's cheeks fill with crimson heat and found it adorable. She had not stopped protesting all night: not when he pulled in front of the Italian café down the block from her apartment, not when he ordered a bottle of her favorite wine and especially not when the dessert he had pre-ordered came out of the kitchen. "She worked super hard to finish school, and she is going to be the best nurse ever."

Lulu rolled her eyes before humoring me and lifting her glass to tap against mine. "Okay, I think that's enough."

"Come on, now. I know that you haven't been out to eat in awhile, but that is no excuse to poorly toast on a special occasion," he taunted. "Take a sip."

"You're incorrigible," she groaned, putting the glass to her lips and taking a swig. She was wearing a pale pink lipstick with the smallest shine that made it difficult for Johnny to stop thinking about kissing her. When she pulled the glass away from her mouth, the small grin on her face made him relieved that she was not about to storm out of the restaurant and leave him disappointed.

"So, Nurse Spencer, what's next for you? Any job interviews lined up?"

She bit the corner of her lower lip briefly, but enough to make him realize that there was something about the answer to his question that she was not sure she would want to share with him. "I've sent resumes to every hospital within a 50 mile radius, but I haven't heard anything."

"Well, I'm sure something will come up soon," he reassured, taking a bite of the tiramisu in front of him. "When do you take your boards?"

"Two weeks," she answered, "Just in time to make the trip for Maxie's wedding. Speaking of which, Maxie told me that Matt invited you."

"He did, but I told him that I would pass on the invitation if you're not ready for that. I mean, you're the maid of honor, so if my being there makes you uncomfortable, I will get out of town or something for the weekend."

"Don't be ridiculous," she shook her head. "I think we've come a long way from where we were when I left Port Charles. I only brought it up because Maxie wants Brayden to be the ring bearer."

"And if I'm going to be there, you're going to tell her no," he finished her sentence, masking the disappointment in his voice.

"Johnny, we've been through this. It's nothing personal. It's just… very few people know that you're Brayden's father," she started, choosing her words very carefully. "We both agreed that it was safer that way. And if it were a few months ago, before he was talking, it wouldn't be a big deal for you to be in the same room with him in Port Charles. But he is talking and he adores you. It won't take long for him to out you as his father in front of the entire town, and that will put him in danger."

"That's the last thing I want," he agreed. "I get it. And to be honest, I am incredibly grateful that you let me spend any time with our son."

"You're a great father," Lulu continued, reaching over her dessert and putting her hand over his. "I regret ever trying to keep him away from you. I wish it were simpler, you know?"

"Like if I had never cheated on you with Maxie?"

The boldness of Johnny's question surprised even himself. He had gone down that road many times before in his head, but they had not discussed the reason for their breakup since the night that Lulu finally admitted to him that Brayden was his son.

"I don't think it's healthy for us to go there," Lulu asserted, taking her hand back and turning her attention to Brayden, who was happily pounding his sippy cup against the high chair tray.

"Do you ever think about it?" Johnny pressed.

She lifted the baby out of his seat and pulled him onto her lap. She sighed before looking back at Johnny. "When I was pregnant, I thought about it all the time. But we're completely different people now."

"Sure, we've changed," he agreed, "But people spend their entire lives together, and they are bound to grow and change in that time."

"You know what? It's getting late," Lulu interjected. "And this little guy should have been in bed an hour ago. We should go."

"Sure," Johnny smiled, covering his disappointment that she was so quick to dismiss his curiosity.

(9:30 p.m.)

"Thanks for carrying him up," Lulu told Johnny as she unlocked the door to her apartment. "I can't believe that we didn't even finish strapping him into his car seat before he passed out."

"Well, in his defense, we had an awesome day," he whispered, running his fingers through Brayden's hair.

She opened the door and stepped out of the way for Johnny to bring him inside. "Thank you, again, for everything. Stepping in at the last minute with him today and dinner… it was very… nice."

"So you don't think we freaked him out by spending more than two minutes in the same room together?" he joked.

"No, I think it's good for him to see us getting along," Lulu answered, reaching to take Brayden out of Johnny's arms.

"Actually, do you mind if I tuck him in tonight?"

"Oh, sure… go ahead," Lulu agreed, realizing that aside from naps, Johnny had never had the pleasure of bedtime duty. She watched Johnny disappear with their son into his bedroom and exhaled when they were out of her view. The evening was almost complete, but her anxiety was at an all-time high.

She was surprised at how much she enjoyed dinner with Johnny. They had not shared a conversation that was not about pediatricians or babysitting schedules in eighteen months. She hated to admit it, but she had missed him.

But as soon as he brought up the possibility of what would have happened if they had stayed together, she felt nauseous. It had taken the entire length of her pregnancy for her to get over Johnny, and after that, every time she looked at their son, she was reminded of the man who took her breath away from that very first night they met when she was hitchhiking. Their situation was beyond complicated now, and she could not let happy memories cloud her judgment.

No, it was much better for her to keep their lives as separate as possible. She vowed not to tell Johnny about her job interview in Port Charles, because it was a mute point. As tempting as it was to think about being surrounded by family again, going back home would change everything.

"He stirred a little, but it took about three seconds of the singing to get him back to sleep," Johnny's voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned around as he closed the door to Brayden's room. Lulu headed for the door, wanting to get him out of her apartment before she lost her nerve.

"So I guess I'll see you in a few weeks at the wedding, huh?" she remarked.

"Lulu," he remarked as he approached her. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable before. I just… I need you to know that you and Brayden are the most important thing in my life. You're my family, so sometimes I wish we had a different arrangement. But I would never force anything or push for more than what you are comfortable with."

"I know," she nodded, finding herself entranced by his dark eyes for a brief moment. She almost leaned in to give him a hug, but stopped herself, instead pulling open her front door to let him out.

"Goodnight, Johnny."

"Night, Lu."

After the door was locked behind her, Lulu slid down the door and took a seat on the floor.

"17 more years," she thought out loud. "I just have to keep myself in check for 17 more years…"