It was cold. I hate to say it, but that's the only thing I can truly remember from that night. Actually, I guess that's not entirely true, but the bitterness was something that stuck out to me. It wasn't just the weather, it was the whole thing. The atmosphere, the event itself. Everything had a heavy sense of ice and frost and not the wonderful kind. This was an arctic chill, one that seemed to stay at all times. Granted, it was dull, quite blunt in fact, but there nonetheless.
I can recall a lot of things from the day, and even from the evening with Alison, but my memories seem to blur whenever I think back to his face, his poor, beautiful face, looking at me with such pain in his eyes that I can't even comprehend the hurt he must have been feeling in that second. I thought it was a good idea, taking the bullet. I didn't even intend to do it, I just knew that he was in danger and I had to stop that from happening. But when I saw the look he gave me, I almost wish I hadn't had done what I did, because I bet even a bullet to the stomach would have hurt less than what he was experiencing in that moment. His tears dropped onto my cheeks and his fingers kept wiping them away, but his touch against my skin was gentle, as though I was the most valuable antique in the world, my value vulnerable to being lowered with every single scratch. His lips would dart from my forehead, to my hand, from my fingers, to my nose, and I can still recollect every single panting breath that came from the sobs of a man feeling the woman he loves slipping away from him. And that broke my heart.
"Ezra?" It couldn't be, but it was. Ezra was here, on the rooftop, and A was armed, only a few feet away from him.
A raised the gun and Ezra kicked right into action. His body sweeped across the area, and he came into physical contact with our armed assassin. I screamed, seeing Ezra wrestle with our enemy and then I heard a gunshot. I leaped quickly and suddenly I found myself right in the middle of both, what felt like, men. There was no way a girl could be as strong as the arms that grabbed onto me, the arms that pushed me right back into Ezra, and shot me in the stomach right there, at close range.
The gunshot echoed, and that's when everything started to fade. I felt Ezra's body shake and his hands immediately wrapped around me, and lowered me to the ground. His breath was shaky and his cries were evident as he shushed me, his quiet voice being louder and having more impact than the screams of my four best friends. A jumped up as soon as the shot was fired, and the gun was taken with him. I didn't even register his smell, or even the feel of his clothes because I could feel myself slipping away.
I was lying on the floor at this point, my eyes flickering, darting in and out of conciousness. I smiled slightly.
"Love.. you.." Is all I could muster, but it was all that needed to be said. Ezra's eyes were full of pain. He was trying to be strong, but it was useless because I knew him. I kept my smile firm, and tried to move my hand, reaching it up toward his face. The aim was to wipe his eyes free of any tears but it was more of a pat on his cheek, a stroke of his jawbone.
"Aria, Aria, I love you."
My eyes flickered some more.
"Listen to my voice, please... Keep listening. Don't you dare close your eyes, okay babe? I'm here. It's Ezra.."
And that's the last thing I can remember as my view cut to black.
I feel quite strange now. My head aches, and I can hear voices. His voice. It sounds panicked, and I try to open my mouth to speak but it feels as though it's stitched together, tight. I attempt to open my eyelids but they're glued. I can't even breathe, but yet I'm still... breathing. Then something clicks, but things still don't make full sense. I'm trapped. I try to move other parts of my body, but the only thing that seems to move, and only a tiny amount, is my pinky. My little finger shakes, not even noticeably. You'd only see it if you were looking for it. As if the wind had brushed past it, or perhaps a mini spasm had taken place. But that's all I can seem to do, and I feel powerless, weak. There's nothing I can do, but listen to the blurs of the voices around me, consumed by darkness.
"I swear to God it just moved, I swear. Please, you've got to give her more time I'm begging you.."
"Sir, I understand that this is hard -"
"You don't understand anything! Just please, please.."
I lie there, silent, as if there was any other way to be, and listened. I can hear him, I can hear Ezra. His voice is shaky but he's determined. He sounds angry, or sad, perhaps both. The battle with him and his words is evident, his breathing sounds rushed and every syllable is practically pushed from the tip of his tongue. He doesn't want to be saying these things, this situation is one he doesn't want to be in, but he is. I know him, and I know how much difficultly he has with loss, and danger when it comes to those who he loves. He hates discussing it, he can't bear it. In theory, it's easy to avoid and stay way clear of, but he does step up when he needs to. He forces himself to be this strong guy who is always the helper, and not the one who actually needs the help. I don't quite understand what's happening. But everything goes silent, and I get scared because his voice was the only thing keeping me somewhat in contact with reality, so I put all of my being into trying to get him to notice me. I'm not good with actions, or speaking, or making myself heard at all. I'm only good when things are on paper, when what I want to say comes from a pen, then I can communicate perfectly, but I don't have the option right now, so I do my best with what I've got.
I lie there for a moment and register everything. I can feel my body, I can feel the firm surface that I'm lying on, I just can't seem to move anything. I think about my directions, and locate the right side of my body. That side feels warmer, so I take a shot in the dark and guess that that is where Ezra must be. I squeeze, what I believe to my right foot, hard, twisting all of my toes and suddenly I hear a crash, it sounds like wood, slightly hollow. Not hard enough to be something tough, not high pitched enough to be class. So I guess wood, maybe a tray of some kind, or maybe a book? Maybe it's not wood, but hard card, like that of a hardback novel? I continue with what I'm doing but straight after the crash I can hear feet, I hear Ezra stand up, and so I try harder, with my hand this time, I wiggle my fingers and suddenly I can feel a warmth on them. He's holding my hand. I wrap my fingers around his and he starts to breathe loudly.
"Nurse! Nurse! She's, she's doing something, her hand.. her foot.."
I hear more feet run into the area and the voices multiply. Before, it was only Ezra's breathing, but now it's a thousand clicks of five, no, eight, no, ten, maybe more tongues every single second. I feel my body start to tire, but then my face loosens slightly, it feels more comfortable and my lips begin to get moist. Is that my tongue? I make a wordless sound, it's all nonsense but Ezra seems to understand perfectly and he shushes everyone, and I hear the Nurse order everyone out, but Ezra's hand remains firmly on top of mine.
"Ez..ra." In that moment I'm grateful of his two-syllable name. Grateful of the two perfect sounds that make up his lovely name.
"Babe, I hear you. Keep talking, I love you."
I feel my lips curl and I don't even realise but I'm smiling. My eyes start to loosen and I can already smell the disinfectant, the eau de toilette that is so signature to hospitals. I begin to become aware of my teeth, and something pops in my ear, making the sounds acquire more clarity and brilliance.
"Love.. you..." I manage, and I hear Ezra's sobs again, but this time they're not accompanied by a chill, it's warm. It's so damn hot but it's flawless and nothing needs altering. My eyelashes come back to me, and I can feel the skin around my eyes, and it feels as though they're melting the hard wax that was keeping me from seeing. My eyeballs start to move under my closed lids and suddenly, I open my eyes. Having to blink a few times, I see Ezra's face, then darkness. Ezra's smile, then darkness. Ezra's shiny eyes, then darkness. But the darkness seems to get lighter with every flash and then the blinking is all over and my eyes are fully open.
"Hi." Is all I can say to him.
His face registers mine and in his eyes I can see disbelief, and relief, and happiness and whatever feeling thank God would be if it were an emotion. He laughs, sniffling, and blinks away the tears.
"Hey," he says.