I tapped my pencil on the table, staring at the whiteboard. ' When on earth
is the teacher coming?' I thought as I sighed. It was economic tutorial now
and the teacher was late. Not that I was actually looking forward for it.
It was that I wanted to get out of class if he is on MC.
"Good morning class."
"Good morning Mr Ng." The rest of the class stood up and greeted him when he entered the class.
"Alright," He started talking while the rest of us zone off. "I told you all a few days ago that your class is scheduled to go for photo taking today. You all are to turn up at 1330hr outside the library. . ."
"Mr Ng! I have something urgent on."
"Mr Ng, I cannot make it. I have extra activities after schools."
The whole class was in an uproar. No one really wanted to stay back for some silly photo taking. Mr Ng had a hard time trying to keep the class quiet. "If you guys stay, you will have this whole period off." He was desperate to tell us that, knowing that he needs people for the photo shoot. Luckily for him, the whole class was satisfied and he immediately dismissed the class, and he mentally sighing in relief.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Mr Ng is extremely desperate to do that." I laughed as I ate my lunch with my friends.
"Right, and it is definitely not a good thing. I bet the photo shoot is not going to be a pleasant one." Megumi said.
"You know, it might not be a pleasant errand but at least we got one and a half hours to slack before the job." Misao reminded.
"Well, let's make the best out of it." I replied as I glanced towards the left. I flinched and looked back at my friends.
"Kaoru, what do you see?" Misao questioned. When I didn't answer, they knew what bothered me.
"Have you gotten over Yukito?" Aoshi asked.
"What about him?" I tried to cover up, but with the three of them staring at me, I couldn't do it. Giving up hiding my sadness I just nodded.
"Look over there Kaoru. You saw that Yukito doesn't really care what you feel about him. He has already gotten a girlfriend."
"On my birthday. ON MY BIRTHDAY." I screamed. The pain of that kept on hurting.
"He is happy now. He is moving on without you and right now enjoying life with Tsubame. The question is now whether are you going to move on without him."
I looked at Yukito, he was actually laughing with her and his friends. Strangely, I figured out that I would never really give him that kind of happiness because I wasn't really close to his friends. Tsubame always fitted in with them. I thought back of the day that he rejected me. I felt the familiar pain as if the knife was thrust into my heart.
~ ~ ~ Flashback ~ ~ ~
"I love you Yukito."
"Kaoru?" He replied with a puzzled look. "You don't mean that do you?"
"Yes, I love you." I moved towards him.
"No, you don't. You can't."
"Why is that so? Yukito?" I carried on trying to break the wall that he suddenly constructed around him. It was there as if to protect him from my touch.
"I love someone else damn it. I only saw you as a classmate and nothing more." He snapped back. "Can you back off? I never thought my suspicion was correct."
"You knew that I like you?" I stood still, couldn't move my legs. It suddenly weighed a ton each.
"Yes. . . and it was so obvious. Luckily Tsubame didn't noticed. If not, you will be so dead."
I flinched by the insult. I couldn't back off after that criticism. "You fool! You avoided me because of that did you?" When he just kept silent, I screamed. "I never imagined I could fall for a jerk for you." I turned and ran away.
~ ~ ~ End Flashback ~ ~ ~
"He never really considered me as a friend didn't he?" I muttered to myself. To my horror, I started shedding some tears. 'Not this time gal! You will never shed another tear for Yukito again! Stop it gal. STOP IT.'
"Aoshi, what's wrong with Kaoru?" Kenshin asked quietly when he noticed from afar that I was upset.
"Nothing my friend. It's just some personal stuff." Aoshi lied. I smiled. 'At least he is a friend.' I quickly rubbed my eyes and look up. I looked at the tissue paper that was in front of me.
"Here, Kenshin gave it to you before the rest of us could take it." Misao told me. "Take it. He is worried." The rest just grinned.
"Really. You guys should have been more sensitive to my emotional streak." I teased as I took the tissue. I turned towards Kenshin's direction and gave him a smile. He just nodded and turned away.
"Strange thing." I said and look back at my friends. "You know, I have friends of mine who told me to forget Yukito?"
"Wise friends. Listen to them."
"Quit it Aoshi. Anyway, they looked through the photos I have with the class. They told me to find out more about Kenshin." I laughed at the end. I realized no one is laughing with me.
"Perhaps you should." Megumi said.
I stared at her. She never gave me advices that are not reasonable. Everything that she says, she meant it. I started looking at Kenshin as a guy and not a friend that I had known for a year.
My friends were telling me to go for him because of his smile. Tomoe has always been a sucker for smiley guys. This is no exception. I have to admit though, even with his small eyes and quiet nature, he is really a charming person. He is always smiling and looks at the bright side of life. He is really sweet guy who always try to cheer up everyone.
"So, have you given up on Yukito?" Aoshi broke into my thoughts.
I stared at Yukito a final time. I couldn't really imagine that I could do it. However, when I made eye contact at him. He looked at me and suddenly gave me a smile. At that point of time, I couldn't help but smile back and answered. "Yes, I think I can settle on being his classmate."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Goodness gracious me! We have been waiting for half an hour. When on earth are we starting?" Misao said impatiently.
"Quit complaining Misao!" I snapped. I was rather annoyed too. I couldn't figure out why are they delaying the process. Everyone was outside the library and ready to start.
"The principal is not here." Megumi reminded us.
"That nut-head Mr Kwok. He is really delaying us!"
"Now that's rude Misao, you shouldn't insult him." I whispered to her. When Misao wanted to answer back, the principal appeared.
"Let's go and carry out the photo shoot. Let's not waste anymore time." He said as the photographers followed him.
"Welcome to living hell my friends." Misao said it softly as the rest of us started laughing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The class dragged their legs to the library. Not surprisingly, we are not really keen to carry on the shooting. It was like we had to smile all the time during the shoot and was always given instructions to move her and there, or to carry out a conversation with the principal. As if we wanted to.
Now, they want us to pose at the library, pretending to be students keen in studying. I gagged at the thought. My classmates (including myself) studious students, now that was an amusing thought.
"Guys, I will be splitting you all into different groups." The photographer said as we entered the library. "Please speak softly as we carry out the photo shoot. We don't wish to see you blacklisted in the records." He winked as he started grouping us up.
"You, the gal without glasses and the guy with a crew cut. Come over here." He pointed at my direction. I moved, only to realize that I was paired up with Kenshin.
"You two stand at the bookshelf there and wait for my instruction." He said and left us there as he arranged the rest of them.
We just stared at each other in silence before grinning. "Well, at least you are here with me." I cracked.
"Right, and not paired up with Misao. She will bite my ears off with the chattering."
I laughed and we had another quiet moment. At that time, I stared at him and couldn't help admiring his profile. I have to admit, he is not a total hunk. However, there was something in his eyes. Kindness? Gentleness? I am not sure, but it seems to draw me towards him, since the first day of school. I thought that he would be a better friend then a sweetheart. But what if I am wrong?
"Why did you cry Kaoru?" Kenshin whispered.
"Something that I remembered made me very sad."
"Is there anything that I can help?" He asked so earnestly that I wondered why he was so keen in doing so.
"Nope. It has been settled already." I smiled, not wanting him to worry about me.
"Good then." He paused for a while. "Kaoru,"
"Okay you two, I need you all to pose at the books there and act as if you are looking through the books." The photographer interrupted Kenshin. I thought I heard him groan, but then again, it might be my imagination.
"Gal, stand there as if you are looking at the books." I glanced down. 'MATHS???' I wondered. Why on earth should I be interested in maths? I listened to his what seems endless instruction of the position that I should take.
"Boy, stand next to her as if you are trying to find a book with her."
I looked at Kenshin and to my horror, I realized that I would be really close to him. Blast the photographer. I cannot afford to stand too near him. It would then cloud my senses and then would make me think that I like him. Darn it. I hate it, where did that come from? Could it be that I really beginning to see Kenshin more than a friend?
"What's wrong Kaoru?"
"Nothing Kenshin." I said as my face started to blush. I could feel his presence around me and it made me very uncomfortable. "Can you talk Kenshin?"
"About?"
"Anything. Just talk!"
"Alright then. How would you think about the idea of me liking you?" Kenshin said it loud enough for my ears only.
"Now, you are kidding are you?" I tried to worm out of the situation. 'Please, not when I am thinking the same thing too. I just got over Yukito.'
"Nope, I was sure about my feelings since the day we had a little chat outside the chalet a few months ago."
I didn't know why I tried to block that memory. Perhaps out of fear. However, I failed miserably. I remembered we just talked about everything under the sky. We traded views and debated over worldly issues. I found out the real him there and then and loved him as a friend from that day onwards.
"Kaoru, I backed away when I found out you like Yukito. After he got a girlfriend, I knew you weren't really ready to hear my feelings. I waited, and I waited long enough. I saw you make peace with him. I love you. I need you. Please, be my light."
"Kenshin. I think it's too soon." I tried to back away, find some breathing room for myself temporary.
"I waited long enough. If you don't want to commit yourself, then, I have no choice, don't I?"
I wanted to say something when the photographer remarked. "I am done, you can go now." I opened my mouth again, only to see Kenshin walk away from me. I didn't know which one hurts more. Yukito's rejection or seeing someone who loves you walked away from you because he gave up on you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Kaoru? Back to earth." Aoshi waved his hands in front of me. "What happened to you for the past few days? You always seem to be staring at Kenshin's direction this time round." He shook his head.
"Bug off Aoshi. Kaoru, what's wrong?" Misao asked.
I wanted to lie again. Boy, I always do that when I want to avoid the issue. Once again, I couldn't and spilt everything. After I was done, they could only stare at me.
"You fool!" Megumi shouted on top of her voice. I cringed. I have never heard her raise her voice before. " He loves you and don't mind waiting for you when you are so hard up with Yukito and what you did? Bleah! You threw your chance away."
"Calm down you dork!" Misao scolded Megumi. She looked at me and started her lecture. " She does have a point. Give Kenshin a try. We knew he likes you. Please Kaoru, don't throw it away."
"I want to. I can't get him alone. I don't wish to make him embarrassed."
"Tell him straight then. Tell him that you love him, even if it's in front of the class. I don't think he will mind." Aoshi said.
" I am scared. Really scared."
"Go and take a plunge. You never know what will happen. However, since you know he will catch you, go and do it. Trust him, trust yourself, trust what both of you have together." Megumi said.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I cannot believe I am doing this. I am actually going to spill my guts to a guy who I kind of rejected. I must be mad to do this. However, if it depends on my happiness, I guess I don't have a choice. I saw him talking to Yukito, I took a deep breath and went towards him.
"Kenshin, may I talk to you for a while?" I asked
"Sure." He said and just stood there. I waited for him to move, but he showed no signs of moving at all.
"Well?" He asked.
"Well what? I need to speak with you in private."
"I don't think there is anything you want to tell me that Yukito cannot hear."
Boy, he was literally making me crawl for his acceptance. 'Take the plunge, take the plunge.' I told myself as I crossed my fingers and gave my all.
"I love you Kenshin. You said you loved me for 3 months. Let me tell you, I loved you since the first day of school."
"What about Yukito then?" He bit back. I winced. I wished that Yukito wasn't here to see all this.
"I thought it was love. But I am glad now that it is not. Tsubame have more to offer than me. Please Kenshin. I need you to be in my life. Please love me like you did a few days ago." I said, trying not to cry.
I guessed he sensed that as he quickly led me away from Yukito and hugged me. " Don't cry my love. Don't cry. I love you still and will always do."
I cried and returned his hug. After a year of heartache and pain, my heart has finally found a home, a home where it belongs, with Kenshin.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This is the first time I used the names of the characters from samurai x in my stories. Personally, it is just a little 'therapy' for me. It is based on a real event. (Or how I wanted it to happen) So, hope you guys enjoyed it. Cheers!
"Good morning class."
"Good morning Mr Ng." The rest of the class stood up and greeted him when he entered the class.
"Alright," He started talking while the rest of us zone off. "I told you all a few days ago that your class is scheduled to go for photo taking today. You all are to turn up at 1330hr outside the library. . ."
"Mr Ng! I have something urgent on."
"Mr Ng, I cannot make it. I have extra activities after schools."
The whole class was in an uproar. No one really wanted to stay back for some silly photo taking. Mr Ng had a hard time trying to keep the class quiet. "If you guys stay, you will have this whole period off." He was desperate to tell us that, knowing that he needs people for the photo shoot. Luckily for him, the whole class was satisfied and he immediately dismissed the class, and he mentally sighing in relief.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Mr Ng is extremely desperate to do that." I laughed as I ate my lunch with my friends.
"Right, and it is definitely not a good thing. I bet the photo shoot is not going to be a pleasant one." Megumi said.
"You know, it might not be a pleasant errand but at least we got one and a half hours to slack before the job." Misao reminded.
"Well, let's make the best out of it." I replied as I glanced towards the left. I flinched and looked back at my friends.
"Kaoru, what do you see?" Misao questioned. When I didn't answer, they knew what bothered me.
"Have you gotten over Yukito?" Aoshi asked.
"What about him?" I tried to cover up, but with the three of them staring at me, I couldn't do it. Giving up hiding my sadness I just nodded.
"Look over there Kaoru. You saw that Yukito doesn't really care what you feel about him. He has already gotten a girlfriend."
"On my birthday. ON MY BIRTHDAY." I screamed. The pain of that kept on hurting.
"He is happy now. He is moving on without you and right now enjoying life with Tsubame. The question is now whether are you going to move on without him."
I looked at Yukito, he was actually laughing with her and his friends. Strangely, I figured out that I would never really give him that kind of happiness because I wasn't really close to his friends. Tsubame always fitted in with them. I thought back of the day that he rejected me. I felt the familiar pain as if the knife was thrust into my heart.
~ ~ ~ Flashback ~ ~ ~
"I love you Yukito."
"Kaoru?" He replied with a puzzled look. "You don't mean that do you?"
"Yes, I love you." I moved towards him.
"No, you don't. You can't."
"Why is that so? Yukito?" I carried on trying to break the wall that he suddenly constructed around him. It was there as if to protect him from my touch.
"I love someone else damn it. I only saw you as a classmate and nothing more." He snapped back. "Can you back off? I never thought my suspicion was correct."
"You knew that I like you?" I stood still, couldn't move my legs. It suddenly weighed a ton each.
"Yes. . . and it was so obvious. Luckily Tsubame didn't noticed. If not, you will be so dead."
I flinched by the insult. I couldn't back off after that criticism. "You fool! You avoided me because of that did you?" When he just kept silent, I screamed. "I never imagined I could fall for a jerk for you." I turned and ran away.
~ ~ ~ End Flashback ~ ~ ~
"He never really considered me as a friend didn't he?" I muttered to myself. To my horror, I started shedding some tears. 'Not this time gal! You will never shed another tear for Yukito again! Stop it gal. STOP IT.'
"Aoshi, what's wrong with Kaoru?" Kenshin asked quietly when he noticed from afar that I was upset.
"Nothing my friend. It's just some personal stuff." Aoshi lied. I smiled. 'At least he is a friend.' I quickly rubbed my eyes and look up. I looked at the tissue paper that was in front of me.
"Here, Kenshin gave it to you before the rest of us could take it." Misao told me. "Take it. He is worried." The rest just grinned.
"Really. You guys should have been more sensitive to my emotional streak." I teased as I took the tissue. I turned towards Kenshin's direction and gave him a smile. He just nodded and turned away.
"Strange thing." I said and look back at my friends. "You know, I have friends of mine who told me to forget Yukito?"
"Wise friends. Listen to them."
"Quit it Aoshi. Anyway, they looked through the photos I have with the class. They told me to find out more about Kenshin." I laughed at the end. I realized no one is laughing with me.
"Perhaps you should." Megumi said.
I stared at her. She never gave me advices that are not reasonable. Everything that she says, she meant it. I started looking at Kenshin as a guy and not a friend that I had known for a year.
My friends were telling me to go for him because of his smile. Tomoe has always been a sucker for smiley guys. This is no exception. I have to admit though, even with his small eyes and quiet nature, he is really a charming person. He is always smiling and looks at the bright side of life. He is really sweet guy who always try to cheer up everyone.
"So, have you given up on Yukito?" Aoshi broke into my thoughts.
I stared at Yukito a final time. I couldn't really imagine that I could do it. However, when I made eye contact at him. He looked at me and suddenly gave me a smile. At that point of time, I couldn't help but smile back and answered. "Yes, I think I can settle on being his classmate."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Goodness gracious me! We have been waiting for half an hour. When on earth are we starting?" Misao said impatiently.
"Quit complaining Misao!" I snapped. I was rather annoyed too. I couldn't figure out why are they delaying the process. Everyone was outside the library and ready to start.
"The principal is not here." Megumi reminded us.
"That nut-head Mr Kwok. He is really delaying us!"
"Now that's rude Misao, you shouldn't insult him." I whispered to her. When Misao wanted to answer back, the principal appeared.
"Let's go and carry out the photo shoot. Let's not waste anymore time." He said as the photographers followed him.
"Welcome to living hell my friends." Misao said it softly as the rest of us started laughing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The class dragged their legs to the library. Not surprisingly, we are not really keen to carry on the shooting. It was like we had to smile all the time during the shoot and was always given instructions to move her and there, or to carry out a conversation with the principal. As if we wanted to.
Now, they want us to pose at the library, pretending to be students keen in studying. I gagged at the thought. My classmates (including myself) studious students, now that was an amusing thought.
"Guys, I will be splitting you all into different groups." The photographer said as we entered the library. "Please speak softly as we carry out the photo shoot. We don't wish to see you blacklisted in the records." He winked as he started grouping us up.
"You, the gal without glasses and the guy with a crew cut. Come over here." He pointed at my direction. I moved, only to realize that I was paired up with Kenshin.
"You two stand at the bookshelf there and wait for my instruction." He said and left us there as he arranged the rest of them.
We just stared at each other in silence before grinning. "Well, at least you are here with me." I cracked.
"Right, and not paired up with Misao. She will bite my ears off with the chattering."
I laughed and we had another quiet moment. At that time, I stared at him and couldn't help admiring his profile. I have to admit, he is not a total hunk. However, there was something in his eyes. Kindness? Gentleness? I am not sure, but it seems to draw me towards him, since the first day of school. I thought that he would be a better friend then a sweetheart. But what if I am wrong?
"Why did you cry Kaoru?" Kenshin whispered.
"Something that I remembered made me very sad."
"Is there anything that I can help?" He asked so earnestly that I wondered why he was so keen in doing so.
"Nope. It has been settled already." I smiled, not wanting him to worry about me.
"Good then." He paused for a while. "Kaoru,"
"Okay you two, I need you all to pose at the books there and act as if you are looking through the books." The photographer interrupted Kenshin. I thought I heard him groan, but then again, it might be my imagination.
"Gal, stand there as if you are looking at the books." I glanced down. 'MATHS???' I wondered. Why on earth should I be interested in maths? I listened to his what seems endless instruction of the position that I should take.
"Boy, stand next to her as if you are trying to find a book with her."
I looked at Kenshin and to my horror, I realized that I would be really close to him. Blast the photographer. I cannot afford to stand too near him. It would then cloud my senses and then would make me think that I like him. Darn it. I hate it, where did that come from? Could it be that I really beginning to see Kenshin more than a friend?
"What's wrong Kaoru?"
"Nothing Kenshin." I said as my face started to blush. I could feel his presence around me and it made me very uncomfortable. "Can you talk Kenshin?"
"About?"
"Anything. Just talk!"
"Alright then. How would you think about the idea of me liking you?" Kenshin said it loud enough for my ears only.
"Now, you are kidding are you?" I tried to worm out of the situation. 'Please, not when I am thinking the same thing too. I just got over Yukito.'
"Nope, I was sure about my feelings since the day we had a little chat outside the chalet a few months ago."
I didn't know why I tried to block that memory. Perhaps out of fear. However, I failed miserably. I remembered we just talked about everything under the sky. We traded views and debated over worldly issues. I found out the real him there and then and loved him as a friend from that day onwards.
"Kaoru, I backed away when I found out you like Yukito. After he got a girlfriend, I knew you weren't really ready to hear my feelings. I waited, and I waited long enough. I saw you make peace with him. I love you. I need you. Please, be my light."
"Kenshin. I think it's too soon." I tried to back away, find some breathing room for myself temporary.
"I waited long enough. If you don't want to commit yourself, then, I have no choice, don't I?"
I wanted to say something when the photographer remarked. "I am done, you can go now." I opened my mouth again, only to see Kenshin walk away from me. I didn't know which one hurts more. Yukito's rejection or seeing someone who loves you walked away from you because he gave up on you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Kaoru? Back to earth." Aoshi waved his hands in front of me. "What happened to you for the past few days? You always seem to be staring at Kenshin's direction this time round." He shook his head.
"Bug off Aoshi. Kaoru, what's wrong?" Misao asked.
I wanted to lie again. Boy, I always do that when I want to avoid the issue. Once again, I couldn't and spilt everything. After I was done, they could only stare at me.
"You fool!" Megumi shouted on top of her voice. I cringed. I have never heard her raise her voice before. " He loves you and don't mind waiting for you when you are so hard up with Yukito and what you did? Bleah! You threw your chance away."
"Calm down you dork!" Misao scolded Megumi. She looked at me and started her lecture. " She does have a point. Give Kenshin a try. We knew he likes you. Please Kaoru, don't throw it away."
"I want to. I can't get him alone. I don't wish to make him embarrassed."
"Tell him straight then. Tell him that you love him, even if it's in front of the class. I don't think he will mind." Aoshi said.
" I am scared. Really scared."
"Go and take a plunge. You never know what will happen. However, since you know he will catch you, go and do it. Trust him, trust yourself, trust what both of you have together." Megumi said.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I cannot believe I am doing this. I am actually going to spill my guts to a guy who I kind of rejected. I must be mad to do this. However, if it depends on my happiness, I guess I don't have a choice. I saw him talking to Yukito, I took a deep breath and went towards him.
"Kenshin, may I talk to you for a while?" I asked
"Sure." He said and just stood there. I waited for him to move, but he showed no signs of moving at all.
"Well?" He asked.
"Well what? I need to speak with you in private."
"I don't think there is anything you want to tell me that Yukito cannot hear."
Boy, he was literally making me crawl for his acceptance. 'Take the plunge, take the plunge.' I told myself as I crossed my fingers and gave my all.
"I love you Kenshin. You said you loved me for 3 months. Let me tell you, I loved you since the first day of school."
"What about Yukito then?" He bit back. I winced. I wished that Yukito wasn't here to see all this.
"I thought it was love. But I am glad now that it is not. Tsubame have more to offer than me. Please Kenshin. I need you to be in my life. Please love me like you did a few days ago." I said, trying not to cry.
I guessed he sensed that as he quickly led me away from Yukito and hugged me. " Don't cry my love. Don't cry. I love you still and will always do."
I cried and returned his hug. After a year of heartache and pain, my heart has finally found a home, a home where it belongs, with Kenshin.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ // ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This is the first time I used the names of the characters from samurai x in my stories. Personally, it is just a little 'therapy' for me. It is based on a real event. (Or how I wanted it to happen) So, hope you guys enjoyed it. Cheers!