A/N: Okay, I mean in no way to put of Jack as some kind of 'bad guy', it is a hard situation and... Okay, I will just let you read and decide for yourself... Okay.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. *whispers* Yet...
"Hiccup..." Jack started tentatively to get the smaller boys attention. Hiccup hummed to show he was listening but didn't take his eyes of the book just yet. They were laying on the floor of Jacks bedroom, studying history for an upcoming test, though Jack had a hard time focusing on anything else than the conversation he knew they must have. So, gathering up what little courage he had managed to catch the last few days, he continued speaking. "Eh, I need to talk with you."
Hiccup now looked up at him and rested his chin in both hands while answering casually. "You already are, but sure, what about?" Jack hesitated once more.
Hiccup had that adorable smile that he loved so much and he knew he was going to ruin it with his next words. "I..." Jack started again. "I think we should take a break," he blurted out before he had the chance to consider his words further. He talked so fast that it took a second for Hiccup to process the words but when he did he shook his head.
"Jack, we started like five minutes ago," he said with a small laugh as he gestured to Jack's school books. Jack sat silent. He didn't know what to answer. He couldn't process a single word, it was all just stuck on his tongue and it felt like he was slowly being suffocated. "Jack?" Hiccup asked and that slightly joking tone was replaced with concern. When he still didn't get a reply the auburn head sat up and stared at him. Jack couldn't meet his gaze for the life of him. "What do you mean? Is something wrong?" Hiccup asked as he racked his brain for any possible answer to why Jack looked so sad, so ashamed. Then it suddenly hit him, worse than any wall of bricks could ever had.
"Y-you mean..." Hiccup started but quickly shook his head in disbelief.
"Hic, I'm so sorry, it's just... This between us isn't working," Jack said as Hiccup stood up and started pacing back and forth in the small room. "Hiccup please look at me! At least tell me what you're thinking, say something!" Jack pleaded when it had been silent for too long and he too got up from the floor.
Hiccup stopped his pacing and looked at him with clear hurt that showed no matter how much he tried to hide it. Jack wasn't sure if he was imagining the shimmer in the others emerald green eyes. He knew Hiccup very seldom cried, it was just something he simply didn't do. Something about his stone fueled fathers demands, if Jack had to guess.
"I... I don't understand. La-Last night you said that you loved me. Was that a lie?" Hiccup asked and Jack missed the warmth that had always in his voice, that happiness that somehow seemed to linger whenever they were together.
"I'm sorry, okay, I don't know what to say!" Jack went with because he was at total loss too.
"Why?" Hiccup suddenly asked with plead in his voice.
Jack stood dumbfounded for just a second even though the question was expected. He raked his hand through his hair and stuttered, something he very rarely did with his confidence. "W-why? I d-don't know, I-"
"Is it something I did?" Hiccup asked and Jack shook his head quickly.
"No it's-"
"Am I not good enough for you?"
"Hic, you're-"
"Is there someone else? Jack please, I´ll leave, but... I just need to know," Hiccup whispered and he looked just as lost as Jack felt.
But he couldn't say it was because they were both males. He couldn't, it would destroy the other teen even more. It wasn't fair, and he knew that. It was pure cowardice but this was the best for both of them. The relationship wouldn't have gotten anywhere anyway with Hiccups dad being homophobic and all. If the class mates found out they would be dead meat, if only Hiccup would see that what Jack was doing was for the best. Still, it most certainly didn't feel like it.
How the next thing he said happened, he would probably never know. He accidentally blurted something ten times worse than admitting the real problem. If it was for the adrenaline of an argument, his anxiety to get the conversation over with or the need to just get the other boy to stop being a part of his life because it hurt looking at that beautiful and familiar face, knowing it would never be.
Whatever reason, he didn't know and it didn't matter. Because he continued to hurt not only himself by doing this, but the one he loved most in the world. "Don't you realize! It would never work, I'm popular and you're just a broken amputee!" Jack said but as soon as the words left his mouth he slapped both hands over it. No.
Hiccup stood in complete silence for what felt like forever and this time Jack was sure he wasn't imagining that shimmer of tears. Just as he was about to reach forward, the brunette turned and ran out of the room, down the stairs.
"Hiccup!" Jack shouted after him and ran as well. Just as Hiccup was about to throw the front door open, Jack grabbed his wrist and forced the boy to look at him.
"Let me go!" Hiccup tried to demand as he pulled, though he didn't sound very convincing with tears breaking his voice.
"No, you've got to listen to me! You know I didn't mean that! I didn't, it's not true, I'm sorry!" Jack said as he held tighter. And he didn't mean that. It was just some stupid thing that flew out of his mouth, the stupidest thing. Hiccup had throughout the two years he had been an amputee received tons of sneers about it. After all the bullying Hiccup had almost started to believe the harsh words. Broken and useless. Except for the fact that Jack helped him through that, saying he was perfect the way he was and it could never matter to the white haired male.
"Then why did you say it?" Jack opened his mouth to reply but couldn't form a answer. Instead he looked away. He looked up only when he felt Hiccup pull out of his grip with strength few would think he possessed, and within half a second he heard his front door being slam closed.
Jack wanted to run after again, so, so badly. But it was for the best, in the long run. He couldn't let their relationship become even deeper. It would never last in the unaccepting society. He tried to tell himself that he was doing what was best, what was needed to be done. Still, as he felt tears run down his pale cheeks; it certainly didn't feel like that.
"I'm sorry," he whispered as he took a step forward and sunk down in front of the door. "I'm so, so sorry..."
A/N: WEEELLL... Don't kill me? *Ducks from flying knifes*. Soooo, now that you have nothing left in your hands, why not drop a review?
