This story came out of about an hour of boredom during a mutual meeting with Sunlessnyte1995. Thank you for the pen, and the paper, and for the inspiration for this!

This story is dedicated to Sunlessnyte1995, and is a gift that she graciously let me post here. Go attack her with hugs!

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Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Doctor Who or Star Wars. I doubt I ever will.

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Hyperactive Hyperdrive

Synopsis: Captain Jack Harkness is visiting and wants to try flying the TARDIS.

Oneshot
Rating: T

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The Doctor blinked and stared at Jack like he had lost his mind, which, to be fair, wasn't exactly a difficult feat.

"Jack, you can't be serious," he protested.

"I am always serious," Jack replied unconvincingly, and narrowed his eyes, "And it's CAPTAIN Jack."

"You're not flying my ship!"

Jack rolled his eyes and reached out and tugged on the tall man's tie. "You know I would be SO GOOD," he wheedled.

This did not even make the Doctor blink, let alone sway in his decision.

"Absolutely not. No way. There is no way I am teaching you how to fly the TARDIS. Just because your friends at TORCHWOOD don't need you right now, does not mean you can cure your boredom by trying to fly the TARDIS – BY YOURSELF – you're just going to kill all of ous, and the TARDIS will never EVER forgive me…"

Five minutes later Captain Jack Harkness was whooping and hollering in what the Doctor could only define as a reckless manner as he ran around the ship's console, with the biggest grin on his face that almost made the Doctor's decision worth it.

And then Jack decided to dance around with his hands in the air when he should have been holding down a lever, and the Doctor was almost frantic when his beloved ship groaned in protest.

"Okay, that's enough," he pleaded.

Jack sighed and took a step back with a little shoulder shrug. "Fine, be a butt trumpet."

The Doctor, with great relief, stroked his console lovingly. "What did that nasty Captain do to you?"

"I love you too," Jack scoffed, then, true to Jack's form, a moment later he grinned again. "We didn't even get a chance to go into hyperdrive."

He whistled and skipped out of the main room. It took the Doctor at least five minutes before he raced out of the room yelling, "JACK. THERE IS NO HYPERDRIVE!" and then, moments later, "IS THERE?"

THE END