Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Finally, though, I own something. OCs. Aven in here will be a little different from my Aven in 'Somebody To Hold Every Night,' because the two stories are not related in any way, just saying this to avoid confusion for my devoted readers.
A/N: So here we are.
I have been working on this on and off for a long time. I so hope for a positive response.
I don't know yet when I will find time to update again or where exactly I am taking the story, but please subscribe to the story if you would like to read more so I know to put it high up on my list of things to work on as often as I can.
The main focus of this story will be the support group at Dalton, which will be joined or visited by other beloved characters from the show as time goes by, and by some OCs. Santana is a sure in to join, soon I think.
Can be read on its own, but as some of you already know can also be read as sequel to Cinematic Hero. Exploring more of Kurt's and Blaine's pasts. Including events from the show where it fits.
The support group is first mentioned in Chapter 12-14 of Cinematic Hero if you'd like to read some more already.
It's not so very late-it's only dark.
Chapter One: Tremors
Kurt wishes more than anything that he could feel more comfortable being here; sitting on a couch in a Dalton room he has never been in before, not even while being a student here himself.
Jeff had not wanted to use the commons or the practice room, "Too public, people walk in there unannounced all the time," he had said.
Blaine is with him, which usually does the trick. But after the weeks he has had it only unsettles him more, the combination of Blaine and Dalton. Dalton and Blaine and certain guys in Dalton uniforms, to be precise. And suddenly Kurt finds himself wishing for more hideous uniforms. Uniforms easier too, to spot in a crowded room than the tasteful dark blue and red. Neon Yellow would be great. Sebastian could never pull that off.
Kurt knows he does not have to worry. Not right now anyway. For one, Blaine is sitting right next to him, holding Kurt's right hand in both of his. For another, Smythe must think himself way too superior to ever ask for help, even if he needed it, some day.
Blaine can feel Kurt's hand shaking, unsure why exactly, hoping he can help Kurt relax with what he plans on doing next.
Neither are into extreme forms of PDA, but this is Dalton, this is safe. "Babe?"
As Kurt turns his head and lifts his eyes to look at Blaine his lips are on Kurt's with the next heartbeat. And after a moment of surprise Kurt urgently leans into the kiss. Needing Blaine's warmth, needing… Blaine.
And Kurt's left is shaking as well, Blaine notices as soon as Kurt gently but unsteadily cups Blaine's right cheek. So Blaine places his right over Kurt's left, fingertips caressing the even in winter months so soft skin, Blaine by now knows can be found on all of Kurt's body. Blaine smiles into the kiss at the thought that tomorrow is Friday and he will be staying at Kurt's. The whole weekend. And Blaine breathes out, "Friday," against Kurt's lips, not even really detaching their lips, and he can feel Kurt smile into the kiss now too. A whole weekend of just them, being, with each other.
Sleeping and eating and talking, and just being.
When Blaine looks up again, kiss broken, there is with a pang more that feels broken, as his eyes meet Dave Karofsky's, standing in the doorway to the room.
He had known Kurt had invited him. He had not known Dave would actually come.
Kurt turns a little in his seat to follow Blaine's gaze that is now questioningly turning to Jeff standing right next to Dave.
Kurt gets up, "Jeff picked Dave up at the main entrance so he would not get lost."
Slow, deliberate, every step Kurt takes towards Dave making both, Dave and Blaine, terribly uneasy, for oh so different reasons, and somehow all the same.
Kurt stands there, hands in pockets. And Blaine notices immediately, the unusually insecure, almost defensive stance of his boyfriend. Blaine takes it as a sign that Kurt's hands must be shaking again, maybe worse, probably much worse than before. And he wonders too if that was why, before, because Kurt knew Dave Karofsky would be here?
Kurt's whole stance is stiff and uneasy, so Blaine, unable to stand seeing his boyfriend looking so small and fragile – and breaking at the thought of Kurt possibly feeling that way – walks over and wraps Kurt in his arms.
Blaine tightens the embrace a little, easing Kurt with gentle pressure to lean into his chest, and rest; Blaine effectively taking away Kurt's effort of having to hold himself up all by himself.
Kurt turns his head to the left, from where the back of it is resting against Blaine's right shoulder, to find Blaine's eyes, the way he had weeks ago in his parents' kitchen, and Blaine can see deep pain and the gratitude for not leaving him alone with this mix in Kurt's eyes, visible too in the smile Kurt cannot quite manage.
The kiss Blaine presses to Kurt's forehead has both close their eyes for a brief moment, taking in the unspoken I love yous exchanged with the gesture.
While Kurt, Jeff and Dave engage in a polite conversation Blaine, Kurt still deep and safe in his arms, finds himself wondering how it is that he has never noticed before how careful, how reserved, self-restricting Kurt is around Dave in his otherwise lively and wide movements.
And it makes him angry and then it makes him sad. He wonders if he should mention it to Kurt. Or will that make things worse?
After a couple of minutes they are all sitting down and the meeting starts.
Kurt is grateful that there is no forced, cheerful Let's all introduce ourselves round happening. He thinks it must be Jeff's experience with working at the helpline that allows him to navigate so self-assured, not only calm but calming.
A couple of minutes into a student's account of his reasons to transfer to Dalton Kurt is surprised by two girls entering the room and quietly making their way to some free seats.
Sure he knew the meeting is open to anyone, still it remains a surprise to see Blaine wave at one of the girls.
Only now Kurt notices that the girls are holding hands.
Jeff turns to them, "Aven, Ella, great to have you here again."
The smiles in response are honest and warm, and Kurt finds himself liking the girls more and more already. "Thank you, Jeff."
"You two are always welcome here, you know that Aven; whenever you can make it." The girl who just waved at Blaine nods at Jeff in reply.
Kurt cannot help the urge to study them a little closer. Aven is wearing washed out blue skinny jeans, a loose long-sleeved top, dark-blue with a tint of purple in it, turquoise converse on her feet and a dark purple leather jacket in her hands, that must look black in some lighting. Ella, Kurt thinks instantly, would have a blast shopping with Tina. Vintage is the word that comes to mind with one look at the knee-long, long-sleeved dark blue dress cut wide in the arms and the flat, brown leather boots. The coat now resting in her lap is a slightly darker blue with big buttons and Kurt guesses perfectly matching the length of the dress when Ella is wearing it.
Aven's hair is cropped short, a cute pixie cut that suits her extremely well. Sandy-brown hair that looks lighter next to the dark brown, chocolate, straight hair, falling over Ella's shoulders.
After some of the younger boys in the room have talked about how they are adjusting to Dalton, Kurt has to fight the tears back hard, listening to one of them talk about how he dreads the upcoming holidays more than anything, wishing they were over already and the new year here, just so that he would not have to fear it so much anymore, being around his homophobic dad.
"Someone want to say something to Anthony?" Jeff asks hopeful.
"I know how you feel."
And now hearing Blaine say that the tears are really coming, and Blaine moves instantly to wipe them gently off his boyfriend's cheeks.
"Shouldn't I be the one comforting you right now?" Kurt says between sniffles.
"No. To you it is a nightmare, to be hated by your parents, your dad. It would kill you were it true, Love. To me it is a truth I have had years to accept. I'm okay now, most of the time, Love. And Anthony you can be okay too. You will meet someone and know love. Kurt here is the reason why I know love, and…and you will appreciate it so much when it comes along. I worried for a long time I might not recognize it because I had never known it before. And it did take me a while. But I eventually did."
"Months, it took him months," Kurt throws in genuinely smiling through his tears now.
"Why are you still crying, Baby?" Blaine asks concerned.
"Some days I can't believe my luck," Kurt replies while getting up, squeezing Blaine's hand affectionately once more before letting go and walking over to Anthony, pulling him into a hug, the way he always does with his girls when one of them comes to him hurting.
Anthony looks not unhappy but surprised over Kurt's shoulder at Blaine when Kurt's embrace tightens around him. Blaine smiles reassuringly at the boy with the short dark brown hair, and matching eyes, as his small, so fragile looking frame is completely enfolded by Kurt.
It is with painful hesitation when the tears finally begin to come, and Kurt moves a hand gently up and down the back of the green sweater the boy is wearing with a simple pair of blue jeans and his black Dalton dress shoes.
Kurt throws Blaine a quick look when Anthony buries his tearstained face in Kurt's shoulder, and is relieved to find nothing but reassurance in the hazel orbs.
So Kurt keeps holding Anthony for a while, even after he has stopped crying. Wanting him to know that touches can be loving and gentle too. Having listened to Anthony talk he is sure the boy needs something to keep him holding on until after Christmas.
When Kurt comes back to sit with Blaine about half an hour later, spend listening to others, Blaine sees the way the freshman's eyes follow Kurt over to Blaine and the blush that spreads over Anthony's cheeks as Kurt turns, sits down and smiles softly at Anthony one more time before snuggling into Blaine's side, hands quickly finding each other again, holding on.
And Blaine has to smile himself, Someone most definitely has a crush on his boyfriend. And Blaine wonders if Kurt realizes. Well, it is Kurt, so probably not, not yet anyway.
"With the holidays coming up we won't meet again before the new year. But you all have my phone number and the helpline's, please call me whenever you need to and I will try my best to be there for you."
"Jeff," Kurt speaks up once more, to everyone's surprise, but Jeff just nods for Kurt to continue. "I, um…I just, I would like to offer you my phone number too, if you want it. You can call me any time to talk. I, I know how scarily easy it is to forget that you are not alone."
And Kurt is surprised by how many take him up on the offer.
Blaine remains seated, following Kurt adoringly with his eyes as he after Jeff has officially ended the meeting stands a little to the side with a group of people, exchanging numbers. Anthony not on the utmost forefront, but among them.
"Great guy you got yourself there," Blaine hears the familiar voice next to him.
"Aven. Hey," Blaine replies pulling the girl still holding hands with Ella, into a hug.
"Blaine, this is Ella," Aven smiles brightly.
"Hi. So nice to meet you," Blaine replies with a soft smile.
"Hi, she talks about you all the time, I can't wait to hear your side of all the stories I've heard," Ella replies with a smile of her own.
"Some other time Ella. We really got to get going," Aven says before Blaine has the chance to ask any more questions. "See you next year."
"I hope so," Blaine replies. When they leave and Blaine waves at them one more time, his eyes following them to the door, his gaze gets stuck on the back of someone else making his way out.
Dave has stayed quiet throughout the whole meeting, so quiet that Blaine had almost forgotten he was here, until now. His head is hanging as he leaves and Blaine wonders why.
When he asks Kurt twenty minutes later on their way home about it, he looks concerned but equally clueless. He had been primarily occupied with Anthony and his story, so not noticed them either, the flashes of pain and regret, taking over Dave's features from time to time, especially whenever someone had described being bullied. Dave had left feeling more guilty and alone than he had felt before coming.
Blaine is the one driving, so Kurt takes out his phone and calls Dave right away. "Hey, Dave, it's me, Kurt." There is a pause, then, "Are you alright, you sound sad. Where are you?" Another pause, "Blaine turn around, he is still at Dalton. Down by the lake? Okay, we will be there in 10."
"What's the matter?" Blaine asks, worried more about Kurt than Dave right now.
"I, he, I think it hit him hard being reminded of what he put people through. I didn't even pay him any attention during the meeting. I'm such an idiot, I bring him here and then I leave him alone with it."
"Kurt. KURT." Blaine tries to break his boyfriend's ramble, "He isn't your responsibility."
"I know, Blaine, I know. But I should have known better. I should have realized what position he is put in here. He has suffered too you know. He is not just the former bully. It is not right to forget about him just because his suffering then and now was and is a different one than ours, in some ways. I won't turn into his bully by ignoring when he is hurting, by not acknowledging and accepting that he is different. It is what people have done to us, why they bullied us, because they could not be bothered to try and relate to someone different."
They stay quiet for the rest of the drive back. As they both are out of the car Blaine pulls Kurt into his arms, and whispers soothingly into his ear, hand resting in Kurt's hair, holding him close as a few tears slip down his own face, "I love that you care. I love you only more for caring. But please don't forget to take care of yourself too. And when you can't because you have no energy left to spend on yourself, promise to tell me, so I can take care of you until you have your strength back. Please promise."
"I promise," Kurt replies hugging Blaine tight for a moment longer before they set of, hands linked, down the small hill towards the lake, hidden well, behind Dalton's main building.