Harry Potter and the Miracle of Predictive Text Keyboards
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. The predictive keyboard is owned by Botnik.
The room was full to bursting with the old man's furiously quivering nylon pinafore. Harry looked around at the others and Hermione grimly reached for the junk wand. She raised her wand and pointed it at the advancing bunch of gossiping third years before them and cast a quick look at Harry before saying a spell. Hermione whispered, "You know that Professor McGonagall told me to stop doing this, right?"
Harry looked unconvinced enough to pretend to be sleeping. He looked at Ron and Hermione together again and shouted over all the noise from the crowd. "I think we should go and get someone from the Ministry of Magic and support Puddlemere United openly!"
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at Harry and directed them at Hermione as though she had just been forced to flee before the basilisk. He muttered, "The Dark Lord is not a toad or something like that."
The room of requirement vanished from sight again, and it was perfectly fine, Harry thought, and the others agreed. Harry yelled at the ceiling as though it was essential to. He felt strange, but he still didn't curse once. He turned to Professor Dumbledore and said, "You are the one who is never seen, and it's scary."
Hermione looked scandalized. Harry looked wildly around at Ron and then said, "The Death Eaters are on the train and I couldn't go with them." Harry knew that Hagrid would never be able to see the point of magical education, and the Death Eaters were still staring at his feet. Voldemort called down the stairs to harry as he approached the boy who lived in the cupboard under the stairs.
"Well, it's about that time again, I suppose, Harry Potter," Voldemort decided and he flung his wand at Harry over and over again. Harry felt sure that Voldemort had returned to the castle. He didn't know how, but he did.
Hermione looked at Voldemort's tilted hat and pulled it off his face. Voldemort knew that he had finally met his match as Hermione clung to Ron, sounding revolted. This offended Voldemort's hat a lot. He turned to Harry and hissed, "Your friend's a bit of a joke." Throwing his wand into the air, he wisely followed the Death Eaters, who looked as though they were discussing his nose, and left. Harry had done it again. He turned toward a large portrait of a fat bullfrog and said the password—"Surprise hump poke."
With a smug smile, Harry and his friends left the corridor. "Voldemort has finally cracked. He'll now be so ridiculous that he can't go to the library without being seen," Harry said.
Hermione looked revolted. "That was a really bad thing. It's not as though he has done anything to you, Harry."
Harry looked unconvinced. "You don't know the way, Hermione. Obviously, Voldemort has already attempted a few simple spells. Neither of you are able to do anything without me. I'm the only one who Professor Dumbledore will need."
With that, Harry shouted, "Harry Potter is a beast! Voldemort had better get runnin'!"