DISCLAMER: oh, this is J.K Rowling's playground, and I'm just hanging out, oh but I'll be so shocked if you readers haven't already realized thaaaaaaaat. (Sung to the tune of the Hogwarts' sorting hat song First Year.)

Chapter one

The Great Kangaroo Black

"PROOOOOOOOOONGS! WAKE UP YOU MESSY HAIRED FREAK! IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP MUMBLING ABOUT LILY IN YOUR DREAMS!"

James Potter groaned and rolled over onto his back. "Waz' 'oing on?" he said groggily.

He slowly opened his eyes and blinked a couple times rapidly, trying to get something that was jumping up and down on his bed into focus.

"Remus! Why's there a crazy kangaroo in our room?"

Remus looked up from his Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7.

"Um, James, there's no kangaroo in our bedroom." Sounding genuinely worried about James' health.

He groaned then reached for his bedside table for his glasses. He shoved them on, and Sirius face came into view just as he jumped a little too high and hit his head on the roof of the four poster bed.

"OUCH!"

"Oh! It's you Padfoot! Sorry mate, I mistook you for a kangaroo!"

Sirius just stood there, a look of shock on his face.

"You….thought…..me…..kangaroo?"

His eyes went wide, and then he launched himself out of James' bed and into Remus's.

"Moony! Do something! How can Prongsie mistake me, Sirius Black sexiest of the Marauders and most sought after by girls, for a KANGAROO?"

"Probably because you jump up and down exactly like one and James has terrible eyesight." Remus said lazily, flipping a page of his book.

"HEY! I'm the most sought after by girls!" the retort came from James

"NO YOU'RE NOT! And I do NOT jump up and down like a kangaroo!" turning on Remus.

"Whatever you say Padfoot."

"YES I AM! I'm the Quidditch Captain, Head Boy, girls love to touch my hair and I wear GLASSES!" James was pretending Remus had never spoken.

"So? I'm Sirius Black! And that means one thing! I'm SEXY! And my hair doesn't stand up in every direction like a PORCUPINE'S, its SMOOTH! And what does wearing glasses have anything to do with it?"

"It has everything to do with it! Without them I'm NORMAL! They make me look…UNIQUE! That's it! Unique!"

"Yeah, great comeback Prongs. Unique. Prongsie, you little UNIQUE stag. Go and chase after your UNIQUE doe. Oh wait! She doesn't exist!"

"Oh yeah? Well at least I'm not CRAZY! I'm not the one who jumps up and down on a bed looking like some 6 year old who just realized he gets a birthday six times a year!"

"Yeah 'cause you're not crazy at all Prongs. Mumbling 'Oh Lily' every night in your sleep. That totally proves that you're LESS than crazy." Sirius shot back sarcastically.

James blushed and opened his mouth to say something back but Remus got there before him.

"Okay you two, just SHUT IT! Neither of you are the sexiest, I AM! So there. Happy? You have nothing to fight over."

James and Sirius looked at each other.

"Should we be proud of him, or should we just drop dead in shock?" Sirius whispered.

"Drop dead!"

They pretended to faint and fell over backwards, both hitting the ground with a large THUMP!

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN! Can't you guys ever keep quiet?"

Peter had woken.

"OH MY INOCENT EYES! Peter put some pants on!" James screamed covering his eyes.

"Yeah James, because your eyes are sooooooooooo innocent."Peter rolled his eyes and covered himself with his blanket anyways.

"WORMY!" Sirius squealed as he ran over to Peter's bed and tackled him into a bear hug. "YOU can be my bestest friend. As James is too busy mistaking me for kangaroos and claiming that he's the sexiestand Remus is too busy thinking HE'S the sexiest and cramming stuff into his head that he already knows, so now YOU'RE at the top of my bestest friends list!"

"Um, what's going on?" Peter looked slightly shocked at Sirius's behavior even though he'd been living with him for more than six years.

"Prongs woke up to see Sirius jumping up and down on his bed and thought it was a kangaroo because he didn't have his glasses on and Sirius got offended and came to me, and I told him that he jumps up and down like one, and he got offended again and then he and then he and James had a heated discussion about who's the sexiest and then I told them that I'm the sexiest and then they both dropped dead and that's when you woke up." Remus said matter-of-a-factly.

"You forgot the part where I hit my head!" Sirius yelled gleefully. "You FORGOT something Moonykins! Remus FORGOT something! He FORGOT a fact! He failed to remeb-"

"SHUT UP SIRIUS!" The Marauders shouted at their fourth member.

"Fine. Maybe I don't need you guys. Maybe, maybe, I need….FRANK!" He huffed.

This time, Sirius ran at the last un-jumped by Sirius bed, and jumped on the body of Frank Longbottom, who woke up and screamed, tossing Sirius backwards on the floor.

"BLOODY HELL Sirius! What was that for?"

"Frankie!" Sirius scrambled off the floor and leaned in so close that their noses were almost touching. "I'm the sexiest right? Say yes! Say YES! So you can be my bestest friend. These tossers are being mean. So will you? Will you? Huh? Huh? HUH?"

Frank looked really scared right then. Although he wasn't a Marauder, he was very good friends with them, probably because they shared a dormitory with each other since they were first years.

"Sirius, how much chocolate left over from Christmas did you eat?" Remus was checking under Sirius's mattress, which was where he usually kept his secret stash of chocolate. Well, secret stash of chocolate that everyone knew about.

"WHAT? I didn't eat any chocolate!"

"Oh really? Are you sure? Because the last time I checked there were at least twenty bars of chocolate here. Now, there are only three."

"Well, maybe Prongs ate them. Or Wormy. Or Frank. Or maybe even YOU!"

"Sirius let me smell your breath."

Sirius gulped and took a step back attempting to run for the staircase, but he seemed to have forgotten that Remus was a werewolf.

With one flying leap, Remus had tackled Sirius to the ground and had forced his mouth open and stuck his nose in.

"Yup." He said getting off of him. "Definitely ate them all. Your mouth smells like the inside of Honeydukes Sirius."

Sirius, grumbling, got off of the floor, muttering about how he can't trust anyone in this world.

"Anyways, since it's only-"Remus checked the clock on his bedside table. "4:30 in the morning, I do think I'll go back to sleep."

"NO! YOU CAN'T MOONY! I WON'T LET YOU!" Sirius grabbed Remus around his waist and dragged him back from his bed.

"Shut up Padfoot! You'll wake the entire house!" Remus hissed.

Sirius pouted. "But Moooooony, I have the perfect prank to play on the Slytherins. And neither of you can back out!" he turned to James and Peter. "You know why? Because it won't happen without you Moony, Wormtail, you're small so nobody will pay attention to you and Prongs- are you really going to pass out an opportunity to prank Snivellus?"

"Exactly! It won't happen without me! Which is why I'm not doing it! I just got out of Three weeks detention from Josef just for simply BEING there when Avery broke his arm Padfoot!"

"But that wasn't your fault Remy! It's Josef's! He's the Slytherin loving teacher-we-did-nothing-to-deserve!"

"Well, if you hadn't so conveniently arranged that Marble statue to fall on his arm, do you think I would've been in that mess?"

"I know Moony, we've been through this before, you did nothing and it was me! I even went to Josef to buy you out of detention! And do you know what he did? He told me to buzz out of other people's business!"

Remus sighed. "Fine. But I'm warning you, if I get into trouble for this, I will BITE you at the next full moon!"

Sirius grinned and turned to Frank.

"Care to join us Frankieboy?"

"No THANK YOU. Last time you guys pranked the Slytherins you all ended up with two weeks detention. If that happened to me, I'd be murdered by Alice."

And with that he snuggled under his covers again and in a matter of seconds was asleep.

Sirius muttered something about demanding, psycho girlfriends.

"Well boys, time to get planning." Sirius had that mischievous glint in his eyes. "Prongs get out your invisibility cloak and give it to Wormtail. Moony, get out the map. And Wormtail, get under the cloak and run down to the kitchens and bring as many of the slimiest, and stickiest foods you can hold…."

"Are you sure this is going to work Padfoot?"

They were in the Great Hall, eating breakfast.

"Of course Moony. Have ANY of our pranks EVER failed to succeed?" Sirius said grinning. "And don't be such a spoil-sport."

"I am NOT being a spoil sport!" Remus said huffing. "I'm only questioning the high possibilities of this prank going wrong!"

"Well, you're worrying, and that is spoiling the sport. Thus, spoil-sport."

"Guys, can you stop for a second? What time is this going to go off?" James whispered.

"In ten minutes Prongs. RIGHT Sirius? You did set the timer for a quarter to nine right?"

"Obviously." Sirius paused. "Well, I think so. Give or take a few minutes?"

"SIRIUS!" Peter, Remus, and James were glaring at him now.

"What?"

"We're doomed." Remus moaned.

"Relax Moony." James said soothingly. "How many times had this happened before? Besides, if we get caught, I'll worm your way out of detention, and not mine this time okay?"

"Sure, sure. Like THAT'S ever going to happen."

Sirius checked his watch. "Five minutes!" He was practically jumping down on his seat.

Just then,

"POTTER!"

Lily Evans was storming to where James was.

James gulped and turned around slowly to face the fuming red-head.

"Yes Lily dear?" he said nervously.

"Don't DEAR me." She spat.

"Then what seems to be the problem?"

"Problem? PROBLEM? I'll give YOU a problem! You know perfectly well what you did! Does eight pm to nine pm last night ring a bell to you!"

"I did many things between that hour Lily, so either tell me what you're talking about or stop leaving permanent damage to my eardrums."

"Yes Lils, he's right." Sirius was jumping up and down on his seat. Apparently the effects of the chocolate hadn't worn off yet. "I remember distinctly that he went to the loo at 8:15, and when he came back out, we had a pillow fight that I can't seem to remember the reason for, and after that, we got told off by Moony, and then he lectured us for being immature gits for so long that I think we might have fallen asleep at one point, and then after THAT h-"

"Shut up Sirius." Remus hissed. Lily was glaring at him now.

"How the bloody hell did you know when I went to the loo?" James asked narrowing his eyes.

"I dunno." Sirius shrugged.

"It's amazing how you remember the exact time when people go to the LOO, but when it comes to shoes, you always forget which one's supposed to go on your right foot."

"You're right there mate."

"Ahe-hem." Someone cleared their throat.

Sirius looked up to see a very, (and I mean VERY angry) Lily glaring at them.

"Lily! You're still here! I thought you'd left! Oh how I've missed you so!" Sirius jumped up and hugged Lily, and judging by the suffocated look on her face, he was hugging her very tightly indeed.

"Sirius….let…me…go…." She choked out.

"Oh no dear Lilykins, you deserve a great big hug for putting up with everything Prongs has done to you for the past six years. Personally, if I were you, I would've thrown him into the lake by fourth year. He can't swim, did you know that?"

"No I didn't. Thanks Sirius."

"Anything for you my dear Lily." He finally let go of her only to run after a blond Ravenclaw.

"NO PADFOOT! SHE'LL DROWN ME!" James called after him looking terrified.

"Drown you? DROWN YOU? Drowning you will seem almost pleasant and relaxing when I'm done with you!" she glared leaning towards him.

He backed up and cowered behind Remus. He peeked over his shoulder.

"But Lily, WHAT DID I DO?"

"What did you do? You used some sort of spell on McGonagall to make her make us partners for Transfiguration for the rest of the year that's what you did!"

James's eyes lit up like Christmas lights.

"Really? She partnered us up? FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR?" his face broke out into a huge grin. "This is going to be awesome!"

"NO, it'll be FAR from awesome when I' done with you. It'll be FAR from awesome when you're paralyzed from the neck down and forced to sit in a WHEELCHAIR for the rest of your life, only being able to open your mouth to sip your food from a STRAW." She said dangerously.

"Wheelchair?" he looked confused.

"A CHAIR ON WHEELS DIMWIT!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." James paused. "But honestly Lily, I had nothing to do with it. Not that I'm upset or anything bu-"

Lily gave him a death glare that could only mean one thing. If looks could kill, James would've been blasted to smithereens already.

James looked around. "Remus?" No one there. "Peter?" Across the hall. "Sirius?" Still talking up that blond from Ravenclaw. "Help? Anybody?"

"Oh no…" He whispered as Lily stalked forward.