Chapter 1.
You are Dave strider, the cool kid to beat all cool kids and to be 100% fucking honest you are getting sick and tired of staying on this god forsaken shitty lump of space rock in the middle of this ridiculous game.
At first you thought it was pretty cool, not even in an ironic way; all adventure and action. But you've kinda changed your mind since. All the action just seems to lead to death and puts cracks in your cool kid façade, especially when you found your bro dead, killed by a mother fucking mutant dog with some psycho aims; that really put a dent in your sanity for a while, though no one saw it through the mask that you'd spent years perfecting with the bro who lay in a bloodied heap at your feet with a sword skewered through his broad chest. It kinda hurts you inside that no one really sees that you're caught in a downwards spiral of despair; they put on sympathetic faces for a while but then forgot about it when there was no visible change to your person. You can't really blame them though, this you know.
You are mainly getting bothered by the featureless scenery of this meteorite floating in the void mainly; it consists of grey, grey and more grey- grey floors and grey walls, grey desks and grey laptops. And fucking grey trolls. Some of the trolls didn't initially bother you at all as they stayed clear, like the one with double horns and a lisp, or the ghost troll who randomly appears through your game. There's also the tall one, Kanaya you think, who Rose has got her alien romance on with but even their indifference is getting to you now. There are other worse ones though; the sweaty weirdo with a horse fetish, the whinny guy with gills and the spider bitch who johns seems to think is Great fucking Fun; they irritate you because they tend to be rude and prejudiced. There are others who don't actually mean to get on your nerves, they're just trying to be friendly, like the tiny hyper one who wears a cat hat, or the stoner clown, princess giggle and the small guy with a stutter and robo legs. You're even beginning to get tired of TZ, which surprises you cause most the time you just banter amiably with her and laugh at her odd chalk and law obsessions.
At the moment it's the spitting furious guy who's always yelling at someone, kitkat or something, who's killing your mask of cool. He's standing in the middle if the main lab having a good rant about god knows what and it's wearing you down fast, though no one notices; you've got a grating headache building up behind your eyes so you've scrunched them up behind the protection of your shades and you just need some quite for a while. At that very moment one of the trolls tries to pass you at your resting place leaning against the door jamb to escape from karkitty's tirade and manages to trip up. You open your eyes just in time to see a massive horn come forward and smash against your nose as the metal legs of the smaller Taurus buckle and he flies forward. He then struggles to regain his balance as you clutch at you nose which has begun to spurt blood over your fingers but lands his heavy metal foot in a good kick to your shin. He falls to his knees in front of you loudly as his legs give way completely and for a second just blinks up at you, just as bewildered by this turn of events as you.
The pain blooming from your bleeding nose and soon to be bruised shin makes you almost want to cry which you know you can't do in front of the trolls so instead you turn, still cradling your nose and stride the fuck out of there.
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You are Tavros Nitram and you have royally fucked up. You remain on the floor where you fell to in front of the cool kid while a silence creaks through the lab; even Karkat's paused in his rant, the reason you'd wanted to get out of there in the first place. You turn your head (wary of your horns) and look at the others faces; the humans are staring after Dave and the trolls are all focused on you (apart from Gamzee who's gazing into space). You see the mild looks of disgust on the faces of Eridan and Equius, the shocked looks from Nepeta and Feferi and even Sollux's hands have frozen above the keyboard of his husktop.
You are so embarrassed and know that a steady blush has suffused over your face. You feel your eyes sting with tears and your lip wobbling- Gog, get out of there quick! Hurriedly you scramble ungainly to your feet and bolt after Dave.
There had been a moment, just a small one, so tiny you almost missed it but, but there definitely had been a point when the permanent poker face had slipped and the expression beneath it wrenched something within your chest cavity. Surely someone else had seen it? If anyone had they would also be running after Dave, not just, like you, to get away from those staring eyes. You follow him round corners, listening carefully to the sound of rushing air that is him flash stepping over the loud crunches and squeaks coming from your legs. These noises bring you into one of the disused labs which is dark and gives you the creeps; there are large tubes fixed from ceiling to floor filled with green liquid that glows eerily and a couple of screens that display the equivalent of white noise .
You slow then, straining your ears but you seem to have lost him. You sigh and gently pick your way deeper into the room, trying to ignore the sense of dread you get whilst passing those scary tubes. You briefly glance back at the door but stop yourself from turning back; you couldn't be a coward and leave now, and you really need to find Dave and apologise so you shake your head at yourself and make your way further into the dark of the room. You look behind each tube you pass but see no sign of Dave, even when you come to the darkest corner of the lab which you hurriedly back out of- where in gog's name has he gone? You breathe deeply before calling out into the empty room
'UH, daAAAaaAVE, DAAaaA-' You are abruptly cut off as something comes out of nowhere and shoves you back against the tank behind you and grabs your collar, pushing you against the wall and almost lifting you from the floor. The breath is forced out of your body and you wince and the iron grip.
'-ve' you squeak, staring up into the face of Dave strider that no longer looks calm and indifferent but is instead twisted into a tooth-baring snarl. There is still blood dripping from his nose- a vivid shock of dark red against his pale skin which is oddly distracting.
'What,' he growls at you, his face right up against yours 'are you doing? Trying to let everyone know where this fucking emotional train wreck is hiding his pathetic face in? Why'd you follow me? Is it not entirely obvious that this particular human wants to be left alone for one fucking minute?'
'n-NO,' you stutter 'I j-JuST-' he cuts you off again
'If egderp waltzes in through that door, so help me I will fucking kill someone, got that roboboy?' you try nod your head and wrap your hands around his to try get his fingers off your collar but to no avail. He's closer now, and his ever-present shades have slipped down his straight nose and for the first time you see his eyes; red, so very red, a colour you never expected. You feel your eyes widen and a guttural rumble rises up his throat and through his teeth
'and don't you fucking go round and tell everyone the colour of my fucking mutant eyes or you won't ever have a need for your fucking metal legs again cuz you won't even be able to think about walking anywhere you little-unnnhhh'
Dave abruptly drops you and sinks to his knees on the floor clutching at his groin which you had just kneed with your metal leg in a rash move that you immediately regret. You follow him down, resting besides him and reach out and grasp his arm and leg.
'oh gog, IM SO SO Very sorry, UH,, ShiT UM, PLEase-' you garble out, clutching at him but he shrugs you of and turns to look at you with an expression that you don't understand.
'Y-You were ScaRING me, im so SORRY D-D-dave'
He pauses for moment, studying you with those shockingly red eyes from over his glasses and then, for a reason you cannot fathom, he starts to laugh; a low rumbly laugh that makes you stop in your tracks
'UH,,,DAve?' you ask worriedly. He just carries on laughing, and holds his head in his hands and his shades finally slip of his face and clutter to the floor. You stare at him bewildered and slowly his laughing quietens before he turns to you. You watch in astonishment as the expression is wiped of his face to be replaced by the usual blank mask.
'Whoa, sorry bull-boy, just kinda lost my cool there,' he says, confusing you further 'man, all these emotions are like a stone and moss or some shit like that, or was it a snowball and an avalanche? Who gives a shit; just sorry you had to see that crazy rollercoaster flying of those metaphorical rails bro.'
He reaches for his shades but is impeded by your hand which is still clutching his arm without you realising it. He pointedly looks down at it and you follow his gaze to where your fingers are tangled in the fabric of his sleeve and jump when you realise that you're grabbing at the Dave strider and quickly let go as if burned. But you want to help. It's clear he's losing it cooped up here, as is everyone else- but he keeps it locked up where it simmers to a boiling rage that bubbles over. You lean back in for a final try and just hope that this doesn't make him hate you.
'arE, ARE yoU Sure you Are oK?' you ask, watching his face carefully. He stills for a second, his face void once more. Then, slowly, he closes his eyes with a bone-weary sort of sigh and drops his head forward. The almost white strands of his hair fall over his forehead and he slumps, dropping his outstretched hand to the floor, his ever present sunglasses gripped tightly between his long fingers.
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You are two things; firstly and most importantly Dave Strider. Secondly, you are definitely not 'ok'.
Tavros is still leaning in anxiously besides you and you can tell he wants to comfort you but know that he is waiting for a signal- a sign that you won't turn and bite like a cornered animal gone feral. And, to be honest, part of you wants to do just that. The other part wants to do the opposite; wants to share the weight of your feelings and yearns to relieve the burden from your weary body. But a Strider does not- could not- do that and for a while you struggle with yourself. You lick at the blood smeared across your lips and make up your mind. Slowly you turn your head to his, your faces not inches apart and raise your eyes to stare at the wide, apprehensive eyes of the troll sitting next to you. You let go of your sunglasses and they clatter against the floor.
'No' you whisper
There is a beat of silence, neither of you moving and for a second you are so unbelievably scared of rejection that it twists your stomach into knots. But then Tavros is leaning forward and his arms come up once more to wrap themselves around your back and pull you tight against him, and you automatically move in closer, your head resting on his shoulder, below those massive horns of his. Your hands rise to grasp at the material of his shirt.
You close your eyes and breathe out heavily; you don't know what he expects you to do, but honestly you'd rather just be in peace and let go for a moment; if he wants you to start weeping like some damsel in distress or yelling crazily he has another thing coming. In fact you are basically waiting for him to decide that you're crap at this whole feelings jam thing and to push you away, disgusted by your emotionless silence.
But surprisingly he does not detangle himself from the embrace but instead murmurs gently, stroking your back in soothing strokes. His mouth is right next to your ear and as he hums soft nonsensical words his breath whispers across the shell of your ear and brushes down the side of your neck. Gradually you begin to calm; your racing heart slows and you relax against him, loosening your grip on his sides.
Then, with his comforting muttering in your ear and his steady hand sweeping over your back, you begin to remember. Remember and then simply…let go.