1: STEPS (A preamble: Entrance of the Kakographist)
Elliot kicked in the door of the lobby to the Empire State Building. His sharp eyes fell upon the door to the staircase, and he bolted to it. Wrenching it open, his powerful feet began the towering ascent.
El,
a man,
esteemed
in every respect,
with a deep breath,
began his great ascent.
Elliot scaled the first flight.
Tireless, he scaled the second.
Without pause, Elliot continued up;
Elliot, unbreakable, fearless, intrepid:
many weaker men were lost in his wake.
Now panting, heart pounding, brow sweating,
Elliot, breaker of criminals and thugs, charged on,
(in years to come, this was known as The Great Ascent).
Again, great hordes of petty office-hands and fat accountants,
—for such as these always paused to glut themselves in the stairs—
were left eyes wide by thundering Elliot's indefatigable feet and iron will.
Onward he climbed, now the fifth flight, now the sixth, soon the fiftieth level:
reached in a matter of seconds, a speed unmatchable by even Olympian athletes,
so prepared was Elliot from his training as a Marine—for then, as now he recollected,
he would rise at midnight and train by hauling trucks, sleeping less than an hour a day.
Alas! Having summited the seventy-fifth floor Elliot, breaker of criminals, paused for the first time to breathe. His heart was pounding faster than a cheetah's, who, in the midst of a chase, pursuing a deer or some rabbit across the great plain, reaches a speed which rivals the winged animals and scarce has a chance to breath—just so was Elliot now panting on the seventy-fifth landing. Yet suddenly, from above came one of those accountants with a box of doughnuts. Upon seeing this, Elliot's mind was seized by his stomach (his tireless ascent had perhaps expended several hundred thousand calories). He leveled the fat accountant, and, embracing the box, consumed it along with the doughnuts in one tremendous gulp. Instantly relieved of weariness, Elliot resumed his ascent:
Up,
and on,
he climbed,
feet pounding,
elbows churning,
teeth pressed tight,
fists clenched fiercely,
Elliot, breaker of criminals,
pushed onward, without respite.
Now the eightieth floor, now the next,
and still higher and higher, never pausing.
At this height the air became thin, oxygen scare,
yet Elliot pressed onward, he had even trained for this.
Finally, at long last, Elliot, breaker of criminals, summited the roof.
With a cataclysmic slam Elliot's foot thundered through the roof access door and sent the door hurtling across and then completely off the roof, to crash down on some unsuspecting car or civilian miles below.
"FREEZE!" Elliot bellowed.
A man, the intended recipient of Elliot's command, turned slowly, sinisterly, and set his sly eyes in a sneering star at Elliot. "Why Detective," the man said, "you could have saved yourself a great deal of trouble and just taken the elevator!" The man gestured over to the elevator entrance, before which a table with snacks was even set up.
"I foresaw your snacks, Kakographist, and wasn't going to fall for that trap again!" Elliot bellowed in reply. "Now, admit defeat or I will be forced to use my awe-inspiring strength!"
"Oh really?" said The Kakographist, "We will see about that!" The Kakographist took a large tattered book out of his pocket and held it aloft, dangerously close to the edge of the building. He began to wave his arm threatening and said, "And how will you fare, NOW?" With this he released the book, which was immediately seized by the sharp winds and buffeted off the building to some sure destruction far below.
Meanwhile, Elliot simply stared at teh man, he didn't know why he should care about some silly book topling off the roof of the Empire State Buildg. Regaining his poise, Elliot repeated his demadn, but now The Kakographist was just standing and laughing.
"AHHAHA! HAAH! AAHAHHAAA!H AA HAA! HA HA HA HA HA! HA HAAAA! HHAAAAAA! You'll never stop me now!" he cackled and cheered. "It's only going to get worse from here! Just wait! You'll see! Or maybe you won't..."
Elliot made up his head to put htis clown to rest. He charged The Kakographist and tackled him, the pair rolign perilously close to the buildg's edeg. "Your under arrest!" Elliot yelled. "You're coming to the prescient now! And you have the right to shut up!"
The Kakographist just keep cackling, but Elliot, breaker of criminals, wasn't finished. The pare kept thrashing about until at last The Kakographist was sent plumeting of the bulding's roof, straight down to his deth far bellow.
Elliot stood, and, peering off the egde, saw The Kakographist and that odd book disappear. Elliot wundered wut that book could have been. The Kakographist akted like it was some kinda secret wea-pun or sometin. El didn kno, for now he was just goin to go find his ultimate luv, Livia Bear Benson. As he walked back to teh stairs, he texted Liv Ben and said "Hey, Liv, just taked care of The Kakographist, gunna see you soon, luv El.'
Thus did Elliotttttt, breaker of men, unwittingly fall into a new adventure, and just as Iron is as followed by Gold, soo did El and Liv's hearts now shine, gilded and glinting, for so much were they in luve.
-What was that little book? Who is The Kakographist? Is he really dead? and HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE ELLIOT TO GET BACK DOWN THOSE STAIRS!
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