OMG, how did I get here? It only seems like yesterday that I met Gail in the woods at the crime scene on that fateful day and finally felt alive again and all it took was for her to call me Lunchbox and to see those deep blue eyes looking straight into mine.

It was the day my heart started to beat again in more than 6 years. Now I would give my soul to hear her call me anything? Of course over these last couple of months she has gone from calling me lunchbox to weird to nerd to Babe but right about now I am sure there are other names she would like to call me. I like Babe, especially the way she says it, it always makes me smile, she makes me smile. OMG, what am I going to do, I can't have lost her, I want her, no, I need her. I am sitting in a park opposite my apartment in the middle of the night overlooking a set of empty swings when I realise that even though Gail's friends and family see her as broken to me she is whole for it is me who is the broken one.

(6 years earlier)

I met up with Emily after my final mid-term at our favourite coffee shop and I promptly ordered us both a hot chocolate with marshmallows. We had been seeing each other for 3 years now and we were going to go away to celebrate our anniversary.

The day I met Emily was so magical that I still smile at the images flashing through my mind. It was a relatively warm day considering we were in the middle of winter. I had just ordered a hot chocolate to go and as the waitress handed me my cup, I thanked her and spun around right into this beautiful woman with these devastating green eyes that went with her flaming long red hair. Before I could even help it, the hot chocolate was all down her front. Me being the socially inept nerd that I am without thinking grabbed the napkins and started to mop up the stain from her blouse while apologizing to her profusely. She just looks at me and then down to her top while I continue to attempt to clean her up and then back at me with a wry smile. She simply says "if you are going to play with my chest, do you think we should at least get to know each other first?" she stops me in my tracks by taking my hand and says "hi, I am Emily and I would love a hot chocolate but this time to drink, will you join me?"

After our drink together we became inseparable. Emily was studying to become a lawyer and was also at the top of her class. Between our studies we would spend all of our time together, no matter our hectic studying schedules we found quality time. We were both huge into health and fitness and any chance we got we would go do activities together including hiking and running. Emily was also the captain of her college softball team. I sometimes would go sit in the stand and watch her practice for hours while studying away. I am not sure how much I really learnt as I used to just love watching her. It was Emily who taught me how to hit a softball.

It didn't take us long before we both knew that we not only loved each other but that we were in love. I had never experienced anything like that before and the more I got to know her the more I felt myself falling.

Emily was my world and then it all fell apart. I still see it in slow motion, one minute we are talking about our day, what we need to pack for the weekend away, what we will get up to and then all of a sudden Emily stops talking and looks at me with scared eyes, her face is turning grey and then she grabs her chest and then she collapses onto the floor.

I take her pulse, there isn't one? Panic sets in, I start CPR while someone calls 911, it doesn't take long for the paramedics to arrive, and they pull me off her and start the compressions while bagging her. I can hear the sound of my chest beating while I also hear the defibrillator charging up...CLEAR, nothing. They go again CLEAR and still nothing. By this time I am holding my breath rocking myself and praying. CLEAR. My head is spinning, how is this happening, why is this happening, OMG breath Emily come back to me, I love you darling. The paramedics continue to work on her all the way to the hospital. It is at the hospital that my world turns black, when I hear the doctor say Time of Death 5:34pm.

No, no, no, this can't be happening, I fall to the ground on my knees. A nurse comes over and says do you have anyone you can call? My parents had died in a car accident a few years prior, all I have are Lisa and Rachel but they went home to Vancouver straight after our test. The only people to call were Emily's parents.

Tom and Audrey arrived about an hour later and all they wanted to know was what happened. Her mother is crying while I told her all I knew. Her father summons a doctor who said that due to the suddenness they would perform an autopsy to determine the cause of death, but at this stage it is down as Heart Failure.

While her father goes with the doctor to fill in paperwork a nurse comes over to Audrey and hands Emily's belongings to her. It is at that moment I can see her mother opening up a ring box, she closes her eyes and with a deep breath comes over to me and hugs me tightly. She hands me the ring and says I believe this is meant for you; you girls would have made stunning brides.

The autopsy report came back 2 days later and it simply just stated Heart Failure but no other contributing factors could be found. Toxicology report negative, in fact everything came back as negative. Still to this day it has not given me closure especially knowing how fit Emily was, her boundless energy and now it is all gone. When she died my heart died along with her. It was also in that moment I decided what I wanted to do with my medical degree. I had to help give closure to grieving families, it was my gift to Emily...in a way it would be a legacy to the love of my life.

By the time my friends returned from their break I had already thrown myself further and further into my studies. I never fully went into details of Emily's death with them as there wasn't any. They saw me mourn her, become withdrawn. Sure I still had fun with them, I tried to put a mask on and act like I was all together.

Over the next six years I become good at hiding myself. I went on dates but it would never go anywhere. Sometimes I would go back to their place, never to mine. If it even looked remotely like I could fall for them I was gone, I walked away as fast as I could until the day I walked into her crime scene.

(Present day)

After our first day at the morgue I knew I was smitten with Gail, but I went back into my hole until she called me out of the blue, gave me sass, made me laugh, made me smile and then asked me to be her plus one, as long as I promised to behave myself. I wanted to say no, I needed to say no but I simply answered I would love to be your Plus One. That kiss at the wedding had scared me, I didn't even think about it, it was so natural until I could feel her lips on mine, I had to get out of there but after that night I knew there was no going back, I was falling for Gail. It was like my heart was being given a second chance at love.

I am staring at the swings still sobbing with tears as I recall my memories when I feel an arm on my shoulder. I look around and find Gail looking concerned down at me, I jump up and hold onto her like there is no tomorrow and continue to cry into her shoulder. As my crying starts to subside, Gail pulls me ever slightly back while still holding onto me. She wipes the tears that are falling onto my cheeks and then leans in and gives me a loving kiss on my lips.

As she pulls back I find the courage to say, Gail, Honey there is something I have to tell you, I need to tell you my story...