An Average Day In the Life of Draco Malfoy
*******************************
Dis: As you all know, I don't own HP period.
*******************************
"Draco!" I looked up to find that prat, Pansy Parkinson running towards me. She was hopeless, can't she ever get the clue that I don't want to go out with her? For God's sake! I shot her my angriest and most irritated glare I had in me, and thank Christ it worked. I wasn't really in the mood to mess up my beautiful bed with...well you get the picture. Crabbe and Goyle soon found their way to me. It' strange, they have enough trouble spotting a Weasley, and you can't miss them pests, but they always seem to find me rather quickly. I must be a magnet or something...Wish I was a chick magnet though, yeah it'd be sweet if all the babes at Hogwarts liked me, I'd have so much choice! Snape's running late today, maybe he's sick? No wait, here he comes now, damn! He can't take points from Potter for being late! Oh well, I'll live...I hope.
Potions was actually fun today. We learnt how to make a potion that allowed you to look through walls, I can't remember what it was called. I, unlike some people, have a good use for this potion. And that is to spy on the girls dorms. Of course, I wasn't the only male in the class to think that, maybe the first, but not the only. Unfortuantely, most of the girls had thought of this, hadn't they? They broke our vials after class, damn and I didn't write down the ingredients...However, Pansy seemed more than willing to give me her potion, and I was more than willing to take it. She must've thought that I would be spying on her, but she is sadly mistaken. The only reason I will use this potion for is for spying on that hot new girl, can't remember her name, but she's so hot! Well, I hope tonight works out as planned...
I can't beleive it's already the end of break. Break was fine today too, at least I got to shove marshmellows up Potter's nose and set Granger's hair on fire. Weasel is too fast for me, but I will seek revenge tomorrow or at lunch. Now it is time for Divination with Ravenclaw, the most boring subject I assure you, but father forced me to take all the main subjects, and he managed to fit Divination in too, lucky little me. The old bat did her usual crystal gaze and predicted that one of us was going to die, well screw that! If all the stuff she said had been true, I would've died at least a million times now, that'd make me a living miracle! Well I already am one, but that's beside the point. The best part of Divination was when Pansy decided to start fondling me, but I soon got her back by stabbing her ass with my wand. Ah, sweet revenge... No one, I mean no one, is allowed to even LOOK down there until I am officially 16, which is only a few months away. Shudder.
Second break seemed ages away, but it did eventually come. Grabbing my bag I dashed off to the Great Hall as fast as I could to get revenge on Weasel. Ah, perfect. He and Granger are making out in the broom closet again, it's their usual hiding place for second break, which was the shortest. Flinging the small door open, I nearly feel backwards with shock at the sight. Weasel has the same underpants that I have! Gasp! I must remember to burn them, or burn his. Which I decided, I'd rather burn his, because for I am wearing mine now, and I wouldn't want to burn them with them on, it'd leave a horrible burn on my freshly pressed school robes. After setting Weasle's boxers on fire, I sat back and watched with interest as they both scrambled out of the cupboard and into the closest bathroom. It was actually quite a sight to see. I wonder if Weasel's in the Hospital Wing now? He probably is, that'd hurt!
Oh no, Transfiguration. Granger has probably already gone to McGonagall complaining about what happened, only since she and Ron won't be able to tumble for a while. Maybe if she had brains, she'd go and tumble with someone else, but that's her, brainless. Yep, McGonagall did banish points from me, and I was none too pleased about our lesson. We had to transfigure chickens into stacks of parchment, an odd and difficult combination. My pile still had feathers and a beak, whilst everyone else's looked almost normal except for the prat's, Neville Longbottom, who's still looked perfectly like a burnt chicken.. Oh well, at least I can torment Granger again at lunch. Thank Christ, I owe the lunch bell so much! I couldn't take another minute of chasing my parchment pile around the room. Ah, it smells like they've served my favourite for lunch today. Pork chops with apple sauce, although my fabulous figure will probably suffer now, I enjoyed it all the same. I hate to see a pork chop go to waste.
Lunch time was even more satisfying, as for I got to attack Potter again. How sweet the smell of Hippogriff dung is. I never knew that dung would set Harry's eyes off so nicely... Argh! Damn that God damned Mudblood! Mud all over my brand new shoes ordered straight from Paris! I swear my life on it that she will pay, and pay dearly. Grabbing her pain-in-the-ass cat by the tail, I launched it right at her fuzzball of a head. I actually kind of feel sorry for the cat, it was petrified to death, but at least Granger did pay, her face all know covered with scratches and the cat had ripped parts of her hair out. It was the most exciting and pleasing scene I had ever seen, well unless you count that time I saw that new girl dancing around the bathroom naked...But that's another story altogether, and I will not go into it, it'll make you all green with envy, trust me. Damn, final lesson and I still haven't got back at Potter completely yet...
Defence Against the Dark Arts. Why do us Slytherins need it? I mean, didn't all of the past Slytherins turn evil? Of course they did! We aren't known as the evil house for nothing. Sigh, I wish this lesson would hurry up, I want to try out my new spying potion, I just hope Pansy made it correctly, I don't want to be poisoned. Oh God, not doxies again, those little ass pains. Last time we did doxies we ended up with numerous bites, bruises and cuts. But the good thing about it was that father came in and gave Lockhart a peice of his mind, and that peice was pretty big I can assure you...Thank Christ! We're only doing theory work today, I couldn't really be bothered with chasing annoying little, black hairy things around, it'd ruin my reputation, and us Malfoys have a high on to hold. We didn't actually do much in class, we wrote a few sentences and that was it. Lazy if you ask me, and besides, I was to busy admiring a naked Britney Spears in my complicated mind...
**********************************************************************
A/N: If I get enough reveiws I'll continue!
*******************************
Dis: As you all know, I don't own HP period.
*******************************
"Draco!" I looked up to find that prat, Pansy Parkinson running towards me. She was hopeless, can't she ever get the clue that I don't want to go out with her? For God's sake! I shot her my angriest and most irritated glare I had in me, and thank Christ it worked. I wasn't really in the mood to mess up my beautiful bed with...well you get the picture. Crabbe and Goyle soon found their way to me. It' strange, they have enough trouble spotting a Weasley, and you can't miss them pests, but they always seem to find me rather quickly. I must be a magnet or something...Wish I was a chick magnet though, yeah it'd be sweet if all the babes at Hogwarts liked me, I'd have so much choice! Snape's running late today, maybe he's sick? No wait, here he comes now, damn! He can't take points from Potter for being late! Oh well, I'll live...I hope.
Potions was actually fun today. We learnt how to make a potion that allowed you to look through walls, I can't remember what it was called. I, unlike some people, have a good use for this potion. And that is to spy on the girls dorms. Of course, I wasn't the only male in the class to think that, maybe the first, but not the only. Unfortuantely, most of the girls had thought of this, hadn't they? They broke our vials after class, damn and I didn't write down the ingredients...However, Pansy seemed more than willing to give me her potion, and I was more than willing to take it. She must've thought that I would be spying on her, but she is sadly mistaken. The only reason I will use this potion for is for spying on that hot new girl, can't remember her name, but she's so hot! Well, I hope tonight works out as planned...
I can't beleive it's already the end of break. Break was fine today too, at least I got to shove marshmellows up Potter's nose and set Granger's hair on fire. Weasel is too fast for me, but I will seek revenge tomorrow or at lunch. Now it is time for Divination with Ravenclaw, the most boring subject I assure you, but father forced me to take all the main subjects, and he managed to fit Divination in too, lucky little me. The old bat did her usual crystal gaze and predicted that one of us was going to die, well screw that! If all the stuff she said had been true, I would've died at least a million times now, that'd make me a living miracle! Well I already am one, but that's beside the point. The best part of Divination was when Pansy decided to start fondling me, but I soon got her back by stabbing her ass with my wand. Ah, sweet revenge... No one, I mean no one, is allowed to even LOOK down there until I am officially 16, which is only a few months away. Shudder.
Second break seemed ages away, but it did eventually come. Grabbing my bag I dashed off to the Great Hall as fast as I could to get revenge on Weasel. Ah, perfect. He and Granger are making out in the broom closet again, it's their usual hiding place for second break, which was the shortest. Flinging the small door open, I nearly feel backwards with shock at the sight. Weasel has the same underpants that I have! Gasp! I must remember to burn them, or burn his. Which I decided, I'd rather burn his, because for I am wearing mine now, and I wouldn't want to burn them with them on, it'd leave a horrible burn on my freshly pressed school robes. After setting Weasle's boxers on fire, I sat back and watched with interest as they both scrambled out of the cupboard and into the closest bathroom. It was actually quite a sight to see. I wonder if Weasel's in the Hospital Wing now? He probably is, that'd hurt!
Oh no, Transfiguration. Granger has probably already gone to McGonagall complaining about what happened, only since she and Ron won't be able to tumble for a while. Maybe if she had brains, she'd go and tumble with someone else, but that's her, brainless. Yep, McGonagall did banish points from me, and I was none too pleased about our lesson. We had to transfigure chickens into stacks of parchment, an odd and difficult combination. My pile still had feathers and a beak, whilst everyone else's looked almost normal except for the prat's, Neville Longbottom, who's still looked perfectly like a burnt chicken.. Oh well, at least I can torment Granger again at lunch. Thank Christ, I owe the lunch bell so much! I couldn't take another minute of chasing my parchment pile around the room. Ah, it smells like they've served my favourite for lunch today. Pork chops with apple sauce, although my fabulous figure will probably suffer now, I enjoyed it all the same. I hate to see a pork chop go to waste.
Lunch time was even more satisfying, as for I got to attack Potter again. How sweet the smell of Hippogriff dung is. I never knew that dung would set Harry's eyes off so nicely... Argh! Damn that God damned Mudblood! Mud all over my brand new shoes ordered straight from Paris! I swear my life on it that she will pay, and pay dearly. Grabbing her pain-in-the-ass cat by the tail, I launched it right at her fuzzball of a head. I actually kind of feel sorry for the cat, it was petrified to death, but at least Granger did pay, her face all know covered with scratches and the cat had ripped parts of her hair out. It was the most exciting and pleasing scene I had ever seen, well unless you count that time I saw that new girl dancing around the bathroom naked...But that's another story altogether, and I will not go into it, it'll make you all green with envy, trust me. Damn, final lesson and I still haven't got back at Potter completely yet...
Defence Against the Dark Arts. Why do us Slytherins need it? I mean, didn't all of the past Slytherins turn evil? Of course they did! We aren't known as the evil house for nothing. Sigh, I wish this lesson would hurry up, I want to try out my new spying potion, I just hope Pansy made it correctly, I don't want to be poisoned. Oh God, not doxies again, those little ass pains. Last time we did doxies we ended up with numerous bites, bruises and cuts. But the good thing about it was that father came in and gave Lockhart a peice of his mind, and that peice was pretty big I can assure you...Thank Christ! We're only doing theory work today, I couldn't really be bothered with chasing annoying little, black hairy things around, it'd ruin my reputation, and us Malfoys have a high on to hold. We didn't actually do much in class, we wrote a few sentences and that was it. Lazy if you ask me, and besides, I was to busy admiring a naked Britney Spears in my complicated mind...
**********************************************************************
A/N: If I get enough reveiws I'll continue!