My start of a new life on fanfiction. This is the result of a very eager plot bunny that has been hopping in my brain for a while. So enjoy. No flames or you get a CIAO and never come back!
From your beloved reincarnation of perciniem.
Warnings: Not much. But beware of potentially bad grammar if you are particularly stuck up about it. Give me a break. I'm not a native English speaker. Fortunately for those smart-arses out there (jk) I'll accept any corrections in the form of pm or review, providing that it is courteous and genteel enough to not harm my ego. Unfortunately, for those who are addicted to sending out flamers, I'll ignore you as if you are just a minuscule ant about to be crushed by my boot, which you'll be once I read the flamer. On that note, have fun and read this story!
Also, I'm considering setting this story at post-Avengers and post-Spider-man 1.
-follied :{)
Chapter 1: Meeting the Team
"Is it just me that finds the fact that Loki- bag of cats, god of going cray cray- having a son is weird?" Tony Stark commented nonchalantly. Everyone seemed inclined to ignore him so Tony started pouting.
"So what you are saying, Director Fury, is that apparently, not only do I have a step-dad who is a super villain, I have a dad who is a super villain as well." Harry asked in a calm voice. He is quite obviously still in shock.
"Yep kid. That's what he said," Hawkeye eyed him suspiciously while smoothing his hand over the bow in an innocent way. Harry didn't believe the smile on almost every Avenger's face except for the Black Widow's for one second, and thought himself crazy for taking comfort in the emotionless face the very deadly assassin is currently sporting.
Harry shook his head and begun muttering quietly madly. "Ok. I'm done. I'm done done done done done DONE. Next thing you're going to tell me is that nerdy Peter Parker is Spiderman."
"But Peter is Spiderman," the old captain seems confused, "didn't he tell you?" Harry is so-godamn-done. It seems that not only is his whole life a lie, but apparently his nerdy best friend (with benefits) is also the fucking superhero that Harry hated with all his heart.
"Of course he didn't tell me!" Harry is pulling his hair now. He knows that he looks deranged, but that's exactly what he is feeling like currently. Good thing the Daily Bugle photographers are not here, otherwise Harry just knows that tomorrow's headline will be something like, 'News Flash: Osborn Heir Finally Gone Around the Bend!'
"Yes, Harry son of Osborn. It seems that you were conceived by a woman who caught my brother's interest when he was on Midgard to enjoy the pleasures of the mortal flesh." The thunder god had said that all in one breath mechanically. Now that Harry thought of it, the thunder god didn't look at all happy to see him.
"For an uncle, you sure don't seem happy to see me," Harry commented plainly. Not that he's sad or disappointed or whatever, as he is used to loveless relatives. He's just curious.
"Loki was engaged to Vanaheim's princess Sigyn at that time," Thor replied, this time looking a bit apologetic, "and due to your existence, Vanaheim is currently declaring war on Asgard for Loki's improprieties." Tony whistled.
"You mean that bag of cats is engaged?" The unheard question of 'who the hell would want to marry that psycho?' floated in the air, unsaid but heard by all.
"Political engagement. But no, Loki is not engaged," Thor answered a bit stiffly.
"But you just said-"
"Loki was engaged. He's married now," Thor answered easily. There was a moment of silence. You can say that it is 'the calm before the storm'.
"Loki's married-?"
"Why would he even be engaged in the first place-?"
"Oh my god, the guy who tried to throw me out of the window is married-"
"Hey Pete, guess what, I'm in the Avengers tower now and you know what they just told me? That I'm actually the bastard son of-"
"No!" Harry felt his phone being snatched out of his hand.
"Hey! Give it back!" Harry tried to get his phone back that is currently held out of his reach by his supposed uncle. The key word being tried.
"Until we know what to do with you, you are not to tell anyone of your real birth father!" Fury shouts over the ruckus that is currently happening in the tower. Everybody is startled into silence at once. Seems like everybody has forgotten about the one-eyed director on the screen.
Harry is fuming by now. His phone is gone, his best friend is not beside him to calm him down and apparently SHIELD wants to do something to him. "What do you mean by 'what to do with me'?" Harry demanded. "I'm the CEO of Oscorp Industries! Norman Osborn's sole heir! You can't do anything to me!"
Fury pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed noisily. The action was so... mundane that it silenced the Osborn heir who was about to go on a rant about how a person like him will not, should not, have anything done to him, that he is an Osborn and he shall not have any inferiors treating him this way, that he is the best friend with benefits of Spiderman, and damn it he really needed a goddamn drink right now.
"Hey Stark!" Harry suddenly looked at Tony's liquor cabinet with a slightly manic glint in his eyes. Tony narrowed his eyes.
"Yeah?" Nobody is ever allowed near his alcohol. Nobody. Well, maybe except for Pepper, and Brucie, and Nat, and the little Hawk, and perhaps Thor, and... whatever.
"Can I have some... you know," Harry nodded his head towards Tony's impressive collection of alcohol.
"Nope," Tony said popping the p.
"Come on man, please?" Harry widened his eyes a bit pathetically. He isn't sure that will work as he only ever tried it on Peter, but he needs to take a chance. He's that desperate. "Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Oh man he's begging now. An Osborn is begging a Stark. What would his not-dad say if he sees him now? Whatever, Harry doesn't care.
"No!" Harry narrowed his eyes at the way-too happy-looking billionaire. Fine. Two people can play this game.
"Ok." Then without a further moment's notice, Harry looked up and shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Dad!" The avengers can only look at the screaming young man with horror. "Yo daddy! Can you send me some alcohol for my 'friends' and me from wherever you are? Come on please! Scotch is preferred. Specifically a single malt, please?"
"What the hell dude!" Hawkeye is staring at him in anger and an arrow is pointed at him. Harry just smirked and raised both his hand up to pacify the agitated avenger.
"Dude, jumpy much? I needed alcohol. Mr Iron Man didn't give it to me. Might as well put my godly dad to use right?" Harry can see Stark looking at him open-mouthed. Harry shrugged.
"Well, seems like Loki isn't that good a dad. Didn't even send me some scotch. At least the ol' man at home dying now did." Everyone just looked at him nonplussed and the good Captain America seemed quite stupefied at the way he is taking the old man's death so lightly. Silence pervaded the room until Tony Stark started cracking up.
"I like you kid! You can go through the Cabinet anytime you want," Tony Stark said this all in a very grandiose way.
"Thanks," Harry answered drily, "Can I go now?" Fury nodded silently, albeit with a bit of reluctance. But Harry can see that the director doesn't really want anything to do with the crazies in front of him currently.
"Thank you," this was said extremely graciously, with no sarcasm underlining the words at all.
"Well, ciao! It was nice meeting the famous heroes of New York, but now I've got to run. Still need to do stuff about the old man's death you know. Arrange parties, invite pretty girls, convince the stuffy old business partners of my dad to have a laser tag in the graveyard, fuck my friend into my dad's mattress... I lead a very busy life. So again, see you! Buh bye, Eye-patch, female Spidey, Birdman, Goldilocks, Captain 70-year-old-virgin, green not-a-goblin and metal man! Bye!"
Waving cheerily at the annoyed group in front of him, the young billionaire went off to do god knows what, or perhaps, a who...
So, tell me is it good or bad. Should continue or should not continue. Destroy or not destroy.
From with love,
follied :P