Yeah I realize i have no life if I'm doing this but I was bored in drivers ed and had a bunch of colorful pens and a blank notebook and it was just begging me to write it! So here it is!
Much Ado About Mello
Act I Scene I
[Light, L, Matt and Ide in the play room of Wammy's]
Ide: Watari is coming back from the store, L-san. He's pulling into Wammy's now.
L: [eating cake] That's fantastic. Did anyone die per chance?
Ide: Well…no. Did you want anyone to?
L: Not particularly, but it could have led to an interesting investigation…and some crying…maybe some more cake…
Ide: Umm…alright then… [scared]
Matt: [playing PSP] Don't worry about him, my brother is a bit odd sometimes. Can you tell me if Mihael is alight anyway?
Ide: I don't know anyone named Mihael. Are you sure you have the right name?
Matt: [not looking up] Of course I do. I'm a genius you know.
L: She…ah, he means Mello-kun. Crazy, blond, addicted to chocolate.
Ide: Oh! Yes he's just fine. Thought he was a girl though…I wanted to ask her out.
Matt: He could be one. In fact he was one in a past life, and a future one. And Sims 3.
Ide: …OK? [uncomfortable]
L: Matt-kun and Mello-kun don't get along all the time. They are best friends but they feel the need to act as if they hate each other. I believe it to be love.
Ide: Oh…Look! They're here. [runs for the exit]
[Enter Watari, Mello, Beyond, Aizawa, Soichiro, and Mikami]
Wat: It's nice to see you L-san.
L: Did you buy any tea? Maybe some more ice cream?
Wat: Of course. Don't I always?
L: No, sometimes it's cookies.
Wat: Right…Well this is Beyond. I found him in an alley. [pushes Beyond up front]
B: [to L] Do you have any jam? Preferably of the strawberry variety?
L: I'll ask Near to bring some down. [to Light] Find Near and tell him to bring some jam.
B: Strawberry jam.
L: Yes.
Light: [aside] I'll find the Death Note and kill you as well. Or maybe just tie you up like last night… [chuckles]
L: What was that Light-kun?
Light: Nothing L. Be right back. [runs up the stairs]
L: [to Watari] How is Mello-kun? Matt-kun was worried that he had fallen into a ditch or tried to eat someone for touching his chocolate.
Matt: I was not. I simply asked if he had been killed. You're the one who brought up the idea of death in the first place you psychopath. You know Mello loves his explosives, his lovely scar is proof of that.
Mello: Just like we all know that you love video games and their proof of your inability to face reality.
Matt: Just because you try and disguise it with being a dick, doesn't mean that we don't all know you love me.
Mello: We both know that it's you that loves me, Matty. Sims 3 said so.
L: Mello-kun that is not real life, it does not count. Unless you enjoy being a girl and if so I assure you we will pay for the surgery necessary to become one.
Mello: Of course not. Though I'd be damn sexy as one.
Mikami: I'll say.
L: [to Watari] Who is that? And those other two strange men?
Wat: That is Mikami. He was talking to himself, so I brought him back. I'm not sure about the other two, but they keep speaking about some Killa so I figured they'd be good company.
Matt: You have a lot of problems, don't you?
Mello: You're here, aren't you?
L: Indeed he is. And he does.
[Enter Near and Light holding jam]
Nice to see you back Light-kun. Near-kun, please give that jam to the man who is strangely similar to myself.
Near: [silently hands Beyond the jam]
B: Thank you Nat…ah Near-kun. [slurps jam from jar]
Light: [aside] Why do we let Watari bring back such odd people?
Mikami: [to Light] Hey there handsome. Come here often?
Light: Uh…I live here. Who the hell are you?
Mikami: You're dream come true, God.
Light: Uh-huh… Well I'm just going to hide somewhere with Ryuk… [escapes the epic rape of failure]
Mikami: God?
Matt: Why am I surrounded by psychopaths? I'm gonna go find some dinner. Anyone coming?
[all leave but Mello and Beyond]
Mello: Do you want to live with Near? You were watching him as if he were some T.V. show.
B: And you were flirting shamelessly with Matt-kun. What's the point?
Mello: Because L will let you if you ask Watari.
B: Let me what?
Mello: Let you guys live together. Be roommates. Otherwise you'll end up with Mikami.
B: I believe I will be fine with Teru-kun. I'm certain that he is no threat to me. His numbers are low anyway, though they are strange things, those numbers.
Mello: Right…I'm telling Watari anyway.
[Watari comes back]
Wat: Mello-san, Beyond-san, please come up for dinner. [seeing the jam on Beyond's shirt] And a change of clothes.
Mello: Can Beyons room with Near? Mikami seems like he would be better on his own.
Wat: I don't see why that would be a problem if Near agrees. I shall ask L at dinner.
B: Mello-kun would like to with Matt-kun, it would make Mello-kun very happy.
Wat: I shall ask L of that as well. [walks upstairs]
Mello: Jackass
B: I am not a donkey Mello-kun.
Ok so I'm doing the Shakespearean language because it doesn't fit any of the characters and I just really can't write like that. But I'm going to try and stick to the main story of Much Ado About Nothing as possible so if I make some huge mistake and I don't catch it tell me please. And try and guess who's who. It's fun and i hope it's obvious...