Decisions 2.0
Hi you guys…okay so I haven't fallen off the face of the universe…yet. I am sorry and I'm sure I've lost a ton of readers but you know…I'm just writing for OUR enjoyment so for the past months fanfiction writing to me hasn't been enjoyable and life just got in the way. But now things are back in full swing! I'll be adding a lot of chapters to my other stories but first I would like to start with this new version of my one of my other stories "Decisions" which I've decided to completely re-haul…I'm taking it into a new direction which I find much more interesting…both to read and to write. And honestly it was my second fanfiction and looking back on it now…it was really amateurish. So I do hope you enjoy the new version. I'll be keeping the old "Decisions" just for comparison for a while. Until I get to chapter 4 then I take it down. So for now…enjoy!
Disclaimer- I don't own the digimon franchise
Decisions 2.0 (Yes I'll come up with something more creative...any suggestions?)
Rated T: For mild swearing, sexual references, crude humor and dark storyline later on
Main Pairings: Sorato & Taiora. Appearances of Minor shipping's and OC pairings and characters.
Summary: Sora was kind of normal. Until her parents split and she moved to Odaiba, and now she's met two vastly different guys. The Bad Boy vs. The Jock...both extremely hot and popular. But what happens when you like both and they both like you and when these guys are total rivals? And what if the rivalry runs deeper than Sora ever imagined? Tai X Sora X Matt YOU DECIDE
IMPORTANT AN: Your reviews may decide the endgame pairing!
You know the saying? When life hands you lemons make lemonade? I always thought that was funny…because I mean I like lemonade and all that…but how can you make lemonade with just lemons? Don't you need like…I don't know…sugar and water? Doesn't it mean that without sugar and water…it's just lemon juice?
But I digress…you know the saying? When life hands you lemons make lemonade? So what happens when life hands you shit? What are you supposed to make then? What can you make out of shit anyway?
Well it doesn't matter because life may hand you lemons…but it also hands you shit…and not the good kind…the bad kind…the kind that leaves you crying because you know things are never going to be the same…
You know that people aren't going to look at you the same…you know that people won't ever treat you the same…you know that you aren't going to feel the same way every again…you know you can't look at you're parents the same way either…and you know what?
That' sucks the most…because they are you're parents…they are the people who are supposed to make you feel safe and protected…to make you feel warm and loved…to make you feel blessed and to provide you with some sense of family stability throughout you're adolescent time period because let me tell you…any trauma caused by family leaves a mark when you are starting to get you're period.
So maybe that is why I find myself in a Japanese airport fiddling with my i-pod as I wear some worn down jeans and a pink shirt out of my mom insistence which don't help at all in giving me a figure, not that I have one because of course…
I was blessed with the genes of some androgynous ancestor that couldn't give me any semblance of breasts. And as I contemplate all of this I carry and equally worn down back-pack while I'm sitting next to my mom in some waiting area at the age of 16 as she drones on and on and on about her new nails and furniture she is putting in while interjecting how much she loves me and she is going to miss me and all I can do is grunt in response.
Sure…if you loved me so much then why the heck are you doing this to me? Of course I want to scream that…but I won't…because she is my mother…and in every child…there is a microchip designed by power-hungry companies that make children have some shred of loyalty to their creators.
So maybe that is why I'm still sitting in the waiting area as I plug in my ipod to drone out the sounds of my mother's constant chatter and try to let my mind take over and try not to…think…which just as much as my mother's chatter…is a load of lemons.
So if you haven't gathered yet…my life sucks, and you know what? I have reasons to say that because currently I hate the world.
I hate the fact that I live in the world where women have to be secretaries…why can't men be secretaries? Because let me tell you…if men were allowed to be secretaries…or if there wasn't such an overwhelming stereotype to secretaries…I would be in this stupid position right now…
Uprooting my life…my whole life here in Tokyo city…my whole life with my…selective friends and my school to go live with my dad…because I can't stand the sight of my mother.
How can I say that?
That's mean…
It's not like I can't stand the sight of her…if that were true I wouldn't be next to her right now…
It's more like I can't be in the same room with her without feeling fake and without feeling a little suffocated…it sometimes makes me lose my appetite which reminds me that I haven't eaten in a while…but oh well…that's what divorce does to you…it makes you start inner monologue and starts to make you think too much which usually causes you to word vomit a lot.
Because the truth is…I can't look at my mother the same way anymore…she's not my real mom anymore…not the one that used to tuck me in at night…not the one that made me dinner every night…not the one that kissed me on the cheek and said she was proud of me...not after that day…
Because you know…she wasn't my mother that day…and she hasn't been my mother every since…You know what? Divorce happens. It happens to a lot of people…people fall in and out of love all the time and sometimes the arguing gets too much and the kids are just no enough…and I get that…it happens.
If only my parents had divorced due to arguing...maybe then I wouldn't be such a bitter bitch right now…but circumstances are different for me…and let me tell you that on that day…life sure handed me a lot of shit.
-Flashback-
It's a couple of months ago…early spring I'm guessing…I'd rather not think about it and I find myself in a sepia tone like atmosphere…because…because I like to think in color okay?
So it's early spring and we just had our last major biology test handed to us before finals…and I find myself with a 40 and I feel horrible…because I like to do well in school…I'm not a braniac but I'm not a ditz either and I want to do well…and this test was so important to our overall grade…and as I'm looking at everyone of my friends smiling at their achievements I can't help but feel bad…
Plus…it's raining today…never a good sign and while I love to dance in the rain…the grayness of the clouds just makes everything drag on a little more today. So I slump in my desk even though it's only 11 that day and while my friends…as bubbly as they are try to comfort me I know that in the back of their heads they are glad they go the score that they got and that they got higher marks then me and it only seems to dampen my mood…and with the rain…no pun intended.
So the day drags on and I'm not really looking forward to much today…even though it is my mom's birthday…and despite all the ups and downs I love my mom a lot…she's pretty cool…
She cares and pays attention but she doesn't hover or smother me or anything and even though I know that sometimes she and dad have problems…she never drags me into it and she always tries to keep it together for my sake.
So I try to cheer myself up for her sake for once and soon enough…class is done and although some of my friends invite me over to a café I tell them no…because I have to go pick up some muffins for my mom and surprise her at the office for her birthday.
On the way of course I don't take out my umbrella because I find that rain is enjoyable you know? You feel like all your worries are being washed away as you feel the cool drops on your face and head…and it's not like it's mud or anything which would suck…but yeah…
I like rain…because it always puts me in the mood for singing or skipping just like I used to as a kid when I would run out of my room when it rained and I would play in puddles…it's that…homey feeling you know?
So even though it seems to be pouring today and my socks are wet and all uncomfortable now from the dirt I still try and plaster a smile on my face as I enter her office…my mom is a secretary since my dad works in financing and banks…even though it reigns in the money…mom always wanted makes sure we had enough just in case so she took this job part-time.
I enter the office and go up the elevator…even though it's jam packed and uncomfortable as hell…it could be worse…as meh this day has been…I know it could be worse.
So I head up to the end of the big expanse of cubicles because my mom is secretary for the head guy of this joint and as I head to her desk and try to smooth over my uniform I notice that she isn't at her desk and the door is slightly ajar
I guess she's in there talking to her boss so I decide to open the door carefully to make sure I didn't interrupt anything…
They're holding each other in a tight embrace and he is kissing her neck as she giggles
"Oh stop it you!"
"Oh but you know how much I love you're body!"
Giggle "You're such a charmer!"
"Only for you my turtle dove…"
"Oh Itsuki…"
He starts to unbutton her blouse as he kisses her neck and my mother moans
…my mother
…she's supposed to my mother
…my mother
…and my father's wife…
…faithful wife…
I can't bare to look anymore because I know what is happening next…I start to feel physically sick at the thought…in fact…I do get sick as I throw up into one of the trash bins a couple of meters from the door. The sound makes some clicking of computers stop around me and I can here my mom's boss…lover…squeak "what was that…?"
I don't want them to see me…and I trash the muffins in the bin and high-tail it out of there. I can feel the rain on my face again… and the thunder is starting…I can feel the tears starting to pour out of my face but the rain is covering it up…rain covers up things…and it causes mud…rain causes a lot of bad things…I never noticed before…
I get home and slam the door…get washed robotically and change into some home clothes. I try to go the fridge to maybe get a bite to eat…but every since that throw up a couple of hours ago…I feel it's hard to stomach anything. It doesn't make much sense to me…it doesn't make sense at all…not my stomach…but my mother…and I can feel the resentment start to boil up
I hear the click of the door and swivel around to see my father with a great grin. "Hey my Sora! Mom's not back yet is she? I got her a gift and I was planning on taking her out for dinner as a surprise…help me with these roses will ya?" I gulp down a lump… "Okay…sure…" I see my father try so hard to be romantic and try so hard to make this birthday special for my mom…
Oh dad…
I can't…
I can't tell you…
I just can't…it would break your heart…
I feel the resentment boil even more…mom should tell him…he deserves to know the truth…but only from her…
She gets home and I stare at her accusingly but she just smiles as if everything is normal…
But how can it be…?
Ever again…
Especially since 'this' probably wasn't the first time…
The first time that she…
Betrayed us…
She merely looks at my dad gifts and sighs a little…thanks him…gives him a small peck on the cheek and gave him a half-smile…hardly the smile she gave her lover…
Hardly…
My dad surprises her with reservation at some fancy restaurant that's extremely difficult to get into
But she merely says that she's tired from work, I'll bet…
And that she'd rather stay in for her birthday
He says okay even though I know he's disappointed
But that's because he love her
He really does…
She gives him a hug in thanks…as if he's an excellent roommate and not her husband
She tries to give me a kiss but I back away and go into my room even though I know it hurts her that I backed away
She hasn't told my dad the truth…
The guilt is going to weigh on me…
But I can't tell him…
For his and my own sanity's sake…
Because mom is obviously going to keep up this charade…
For how long? I don't know
All I know is that she's going to keep up this charade…and I'm doing the same…
I'm not her daughter for nothing after all…
But everything in life…just like rain…has a time limit…
"Honey?"
"Yes mom?"
"You know that I and your dad haven't been getting along lately"
I want to say "no shit Sherlock" but then it would set my mom off into a lecture on language…and honestly I'm not willing to take that on today…especially since it's finals soon
So as the dutiful daughter I simply say
"Yes mom"
Of course I freaking noticed! You think I'm blind? Ever since that encounter with your boss that I saw…there didn't seem to be a night were there wasn't an argument between the two. I got used to it though, maybe like the rain…it would eventually go away.
"Well, Your father and I are well…honey we aren't going to be together anymore"
"What?"
"We are getting a divorce…"
So…it's over now…
"…really now…you don't say?"
-End of flashback-
Yes that was a few months ago. And as I sit here and this depressing hell hole of an airport with rain dripping down the windows. I can only look into the gray and curse my living existence.
What followed was a custody battle that didn't seem to have that much fanfare…either because my parents didn't want to trouble me or because they didn't care at all…either way I still felt worthless and pretty…lemony…considering the fact that they argued more about the antique clock then they did me.
I got to choose…who I wanted to be with…seeing as Dad was taking a job in Odaiba since he couldn't really stay in Tokyo anymore…
Not after mom…
And although mom kept saying that while she was moving in with Itsuki and that he is "absolutely wonderful…you'll love him!" I doubted it…I sincerely knew I wouldn't love him...
Not after what he had caused to me and my father…
Not after how he changed my mother from my mother to a stranger I couldn't even recognize
A stranger that preferred frilly new clothes and being "in" to keep up with her new "boyfriend" then her own daughter's well-being…and the fact that she caused her weeks of guilt and stress and didn't even care…
That's mean…
But it's the truth
So here was the choice: I could either stay in sunny Tokyo with my friends and my school that I loved but I knew would undoubtedly change and be stuck with the mother I couldn't even breathe next to and her lover or go with my Dad to Odaiba and start fresh…where it apparently rained a lot…Guess my choice…
"Oh Honey! I'm going to miss you so much! My baby!"
I hated this right now...the whining and the insistent love…and she was crying now and hugging me so tight like she literally wanted to suffocate me and keep me away from dad...even though we've planned this for months now, I didn't want to touch her, she didn't need to cry anyway…
It was her fault I had to leave in the first place…
Leave everything I knew behind because there was no going back…
"Mom, I'm not leaving you forever you know?"
"Yes, I know but I love you so much, promise me you'll write!"
"Everyday mom…"
Lies…
All Lies…
"I better go check in now…" I didn't even know why she insisted on coming in so early…
Was it to spend some quality time with the daughter that she discarded for lust?
Maybe…?
I don't give to flying pickles now anyway…
I sprinted to check-in. No matter what I do still love my mom but if I stayed longer, I would cry just like that time in the rain...and it would only make me feel worse
Now I'm in the airplane with people next to me. I put my headphones on despite all those weird electrical device warnings…You know I never got any of those warnings…what's the point? It just inconveniences the passengers who actually like music
Whatever…
I can only hope now…
My dad faces me with a sheepish smile
"Hey Sora! I'm glad you made it!" What do you think? It's not a vacation you know. Course I don't say that. I love my dad as well. T
he nice thing about him is that he gives me space and I don't feel terribly suffocated when I'm with him...the feeling I get when I'm around him is like the feeling you get when you are on a bed of cotton you know? Kind of conformable…just kind of lonely once in a while…he is a guy
It's not like I can talk to him about boys or tampons on a daily basis…not that I would because…eww…tampons are not public discussions…especially with dads…ditto with the whole boy thing…with dads I mean…
"Let's go home…"
Home…really now? And here I thought we were going back to Dracula's lair…
Oh yeah I know…I'm heavy on the sarcasm…but still…I wonder if it'll be really home…
"We live in Highton View Terrace, it's just a little downtown and they have a wonderful high school here as well….blah blah" I stop listening to him and start to tune him out. I stare out into the buildings passing by…
We are at the apartment. It's nice and spacious, big living room, huge kitchen which is good since my dad can't cook and I can. Which reminds me that I haven't eaten all day and the dinner I had last night was pretty light...it's okay though because I know I can grab something later...but I should soon...empty stomachs cause dizziness
I peek into the room that my father made for me and pray that it isn't a boring disaster. My room isn't bad either. Guess my dad tried hard since I have a desk and a laptop, with a nice blue bed with shelves for my books all around. I smile for the first time in a while...I guess he cares
It'll be a hard adjustment though…for the both of us…but I think we can manage
He looks at me like he's going to say something…but he doesn't know how. My dad isn't the type to ask for much…
"What is it Dad?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well…you look like you want to ask me something…well…uh…what is it?"
"Hey…how did you kno—oh never mind…well…I'm just going to move all you're stuff and start to unpack a little of the boxes…while I do that…could you maybe take the garbage out for me? You just take the stairs down the building and to the outside…you know the garbage bins you saw earlier on the way out? Could you?"
"Guess…"
He gives some semblance of a smile in gratitude…I think he feels awkward around me…maybe because I look so much like mom?
But if that's all…I'm up for it…I have to pull my weight after all
I take the garbage down with me down the flight of stairs. I don't want people staring at me with a stinky Chinese leftover garbage bag. But just as I am about to go down the last flight of stairs I bump into someone who just seemed to be standing there like a brick wall...inconsiderate prick...
Then disaster strikes in the form of me throwing the garbage bag in the air and all the remains of my father's escapades for a week or two fall on me and the stairs like a bunch of leprechauns dancing around
"Arghh!" pieces of banana peels and noodle splutter everywhere on the stairs. Great, just what I needed in my day…
Oh pickle dick…just what I needed…forget the fact that there's Chinese noodles in my hair…my hair is enough of disaster thank you very much…I don't think blob of red constitutes as attractive…and blob of red with noodles…yeah…no thanks.
I grumble in annoyance because that's not the most important thing right now…I have to pick up all the trash and put it back in the bag…man I did not need this today…I just got back from a flight and now I have to pick up all the trash just of this guy who was stark still on the bottom of the stairs…yeesh. And now his back is towards me as he picks up the garbage…what…no apology?
I start to get really miffed off and I can feel a bit of that famous Takenouchi temper rising…
"Look…" I begin. The stranger turns around and I'm all ready to give him a mouthful and I have my finger pointing accusingly at him at the ready…but then I open my eyes…and I see him staring at me with a bit of a cocky smirk
And suddenly I take in all of his features…all of them…
His has blond hair…kind of sandy blond that's a little tossed around...like he didn't give a damn when he looked in the mirror this afternoon yet the hair that kind of chin length makes him stand out much more
He's wearing a blue tee-shirt that kind of etches out his muscles…he obviously works out and his body shape combined with his dark jeans and the fact that he's two heads taller then me just kind of makes him well…very…very attractive…in a bad-boy I-am-in-a-band kind of there-is-more-to-me-then-you-think kind of way…he's my age I think…
But it's not the outfit that strikes me or affects me the most…or his hair…or his skin color (kind of pale like me but still…a nice smooth pale…does that make sense?)
No…what strikes me are his eyes.
Deep ocean blue with speckles of lazy gold in them.
And they are so big to…and they are just staring at me…and the emotions that flutter around them…
They are just…so…beautiful…
I stare and stare at his eyes as my heart pumps faster and the beat of it goes up. My face becomes flustered as I feel the blood and heat rushing towards my face and for the first time, I'm blushing…because of a guy…well mainly his eyes…I think?
At first I'm kind of speechless…I mean who wouldn't be…here I am trying to throw garbage and the next thing I know I run into a guy that despite the fact that there's a wad of tissue in his hair…he still looks damn attractive.
I try to stop that thought process: Sora! Don't get charmed…you're not supposed to get charmed by some good looking guy…you have to tell him how it is…
I cough a little and his eyebrows raise a little…his eyes changed and the spell is broken thankfully…and I'm ready to tell him how it is…
"Excuse me…"
"…"
"I don't know who you are…but you owe me an apology…"
"…!" His smirk falters a bit and looks like he's going to laugh and that just kind of infuriates me a little…even though he's…well…attractive
"Oh really now? How do you see that? As far as I see it…you're the one that got garbage all over the place"
What the heck? Who does this guy think he is?
"Look…I don't know how things work in Odaiba…I mean I just moved here…but I don't think it's normal practice for a guy to just stand at the end of the stairs where unsuspecting people could bump into."
He laughs at that…really hard…and while his laugh sound really nice, so much so that I can feel my lips tugging into a smile…I stand my ground…Sora never backs down (even when she's talking in third person) I cross my arms just to emphasize my annoyance and raise my head…just for effect
He calms down and looks at me again with a smirk…damn that smirk…as if that's going to work…even though the hotness level just raised a few notches…it's the bad boy thing he's got…I swear!
"Well maybe if a certain unsuspecting person were paying attention…we wouldn't…literally be in this mess…hmm? Maybe you're the one that owes an apology…"
He flashes me his grin as if that would seal the deal and while my cluster-crap brain (yes that's how I refer to my brain) as if that would smooth things over…cocky bastard…just because he has good looks…okay…really good looks…does not mean the world is going to be handed to him! Even if it's just a trivial apology…
"No no…you see…a certain unsuspecting person wouldn't have made this mess had not been for an INCONSIDERATE person standing still like some frozen pillar in the middle of the stairs…that made a certain unsuspecting person bump into him due to the fact that the garbage bag is so high, it's taller that the inconsiderate person!"
"…" he looks like he wants to laugh but he's trying not too…either because of pride or because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings…I'd like to think that due to his looks…it's the latter
"What?" I glare
"Do you always argue with such…uh…sophisticated vocabulary?"
"..." Score: Hot Stranger- 1, Sora- 0
"…Yes!" Stubborn to the very end…that's the way to go…oh god I need therapy. Okay…so what? I use a lot of 'sophisticated' vocabulary…so what? Huh? Is that a crime now?
I expect him to laugh at my apparent lack of comeback…instead he just smiles at me and mumbles something…it vaguely sounds like "interesting…" but I'm not sure…actually I kind of feel dizzy…both from the smell of garbage and the fact that I haven't eaten or drunk anything since I got here…jeez this guy is holding me up…despite his attractiveness.
He crosses his arms and gives me another smirk and after what seems like a long eye lock he merely sighs and smiles kind of…sweetly? Bad boy and sweet…hmmm.
"Okay okay…point taken…this inconsiderate person apologizes…profusely"
Eh…he's mocking me…I'm so sure…but at least he said sorry…so I guess I won…right?
I give him a kind of curious look and bring my hands down from that to my hips and cock my head sideways just to give him another look for good measure…I get it…I'm weird. Even though I know the apology isn't exactly what I was looking for…I merely sigh and let it go…I have enough stress for a 16 year old thank you very much.
I mumble a thank you and his smile widens and although the blush starts to creep in from the sudden change in his demeanor I merely turn around and start trying to pick up the garbage…man this hot guy…I mean guy…normal…completely normal…well okay…completely okay guy is wasting my time…SEE.
I hear him chuckle and I can feel his eyes on my back and my face just gets redder from the thought…man…why is he even still here? He's not even picking up garbage…
I try to distract myself my picking up the trash…but man the smell…is making me dizzy again and even though I'm crouching down I can feel myself start to topple over and right then and there the guy pocks my shoulders and I turn around…
And his face is right there…
Mere inches from mine…
WHAT THE HELL?
I can feel his breathe on my cheeks which are just getting redder by the second…I bet it's like fire engines right now…oh man…I hope he doesn't see it…I don't want to give him the satisfaction.
He merely looks into my eyes and I can fee myself getting lost again…OH SNAP OUT OF IT
"By the way…I'm Matt Ishida, what's your name?" I'm all ready to reply and regain my composure and actually try and not make a complete fool of myself then I already have…but my head starts to feel dizzy again and I can feel my stomach growling…
Oh boy…
And then it all goes black…
A/N:
I think after much consideration…and the change in direction I'm going with here…I think that I prefer this story a lot more. Having Matt and Sora have a slight Love/Hate relationship will definitely be more interesting…especially in the future…of course this means some editing but I'm up for it! If you guys are : )
I decided to edit the first chapter because I realized that it was so god awfully amateurish that I needed to edit it to salvage any sense of pride I still have left…there are a lot of changes and a lot more detail and holes that are closed with this chapter and the next…I also realized how god awful my grammar was back then…I'm kind of embarrassed of my content and grammar but…I hope you like the changes. I also apologize profusely for no updates or no semblance of activity for the past months…it's just…life you know? (and also I'm sorry for the vocabulary…SAT 2…what can you do?)
I made the divorce earlier in months because the school year in Japan is different then American systems (no shit I know). I also tried to give Sora more of a reason for her to be such a…mildly depressing person. I also tried to give a physical reason for Sora's constant fainting only because I didn't think it make much sense for a girl to faint from hotness…never heard it in real life before…I don't think 0.o
As always
Reviews = opinions = advice = love = encouragement = motivation = more chapters
As always
Womynrule signing out