Deletion.
Her finger pauses above the keypad of her phone, her face wrinkled in confusion. Delete, the phone flashes up at her. At it will take it a simple press of a button and volia, Jesse shall be gone from her life.
But for some reason, she cannot summon the courage that is needed to press that little button, to make that final separation of their lives. After he egged her, she called his voicemail quite a few times, just to hear his voice, just to delude herself about what he had just done to her. But it isn't healthy to do that, it isn't healthy to retain his number after all the heartbreak he has caused. Like a toxic part of the body, she has to remove him from her life completely or she will succumb to the darkness.
Santana tried to do it for her yesterday in Glee rehearsal, taking concern over her condition for some strange reason. When she had seen what she was doing with her phone, she had yelped as if she was in pain, and snatched the phone back. How dare she try and severe the link between them so harshly? No, it had to be done right. First, she had to remove any and all of the memorabilia she had collected that was in relation to him, and then she could delete his number from her phone.
She just has to summon the courage to do it.
She squeezes her eyes shut tightly, and lowers her thumb quite firmly to the soft pad of the keypad and presses, her heart aching. Then she slams the phone shut, and throws it onto the floor, collapsing on top of her bed and burying her face into numerous fluffy pillows.
And sobs, sobs, sobs, sobs until her tears cannot come anymore and her throat is clammed up with the sick feeling that accompanies emotion.
How could he do this to her?
Jesse st. Sucks indeed.