DISCLAIMER:I own nothing but the plot and Paisley Fretch. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling.
2018 A/N: Also, yes I'm pretending Cedric isn't dead ok this is AU/OOC I don't care.

Hermione POV

I sat down at the Gryffindor table for the Start of Term Feast, glowing with happiness at becoming the Head Girl. Yes, I was selected as Head Girl. But enough with that, let's get on with the show. I waited for the sorting to be over with and absentmindedly listened to the headmaster, expecting the usual announcements.

"The forbidden forest is clearly forbidden. Do not let us catch you dueling with each other, and please, do not use your muggle technology during classes. Students, please listen up," my ears perked up at the change in tone here, "there is a new class at Hogwarts this year, courtesy of the Ministry of Magic. Only selected seventh years will be participating in this program. I will call them up now. Please report to my office after the feast if you are participating."

I wondered what this new class could be, especially if it was restricted to upperclassmen, and I'm certain I'll be chosen to participate.

"From Hufflepuff: Cedric Diggory, Paisley Fretch, Laura Harris.
From Slytherin: Our new head boy, Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini.
From Ravenclaw: Luna Lovegood, Padma Patil.
From Gryffindor: Head girl, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, and last but not least, Ronald Weasley. Congratulations, and tuck in!"

I was stunned, not only was I chosen for the class, but Draco Malfoy was Head Boy. I mean, I knew he wasn't stupid, but for him to be top of the class? After the heinous acts of his family, this is the last thing I would have expected. Nevermind, I wouldn't let it bother me.

"So," I turned to face my best friends in interest, "what do you think this new class is going to be?"

"Probably somethin' stupid," Ron choked out, his mouth full of food. Some things never change.

"I don't know, maybe they're going to introduce something muggle, like debate? Or home economics?" Harry mused, glancing over his shoulder. I swiveled around and followed his line of sight to the Ravenclaw table, more specifically to one blonde Ravenclaw girl.

Luna? What could he possibly be staring at her for? She isn't wearing one of her ridiculous nargle catching hats, or anything else extraordinary. I made a mental note to keep an eye on that.

When the feast concluded, I practically sprinted out of the Great Hall and through the corridors to Dumbledore's office tower. We were all shifting around, almost nervously, wit the exception of Malfoy, who was the epitome of cool, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.

Once everyone who was selected for this slightly frightening program was seated in Dumbledore's office, Dumbledore started to speak: "Students, I know you are all very curious as to what this new program may be. I want to preface this discussion by telling you that your parents and guardians have all signed off on this, and we are not doing anything unethical by having you participate. So, without further adieu, you will all be participating in our new, Ministry enforced, Parenting Class, in order to create more house unity."

My brain took a moment to process the information Dumbledore had thrown at us.

"Parenting class?" I questioned. "Like the muggle one, with the bag of flour?"

The Headmaster stifled a chuckle, "Yes, parenting class. No, you will not be carrying around a bag of flour. Let me explain. We want you to have the experience of being a parent, from conception to birth, so on and so forth, until you have an approximately ten year old child. We will be pairing you up, boy and girl, of opposite houses, and then performing a spell to create a pregnancy, and then the subsequent children. Of course, it will all be pseudo physical and when the year is done, the spell will be lifted. Once this is over, it will be as though it never happened, aside from the life advice you will have garnered.
"I'll go ahead and partner you up. Cedric and Padma, Paisley and Neville, Laura and Blaise, Pansy and Ronald, and Luna and Harry. Then Head Boy and Girl, Draco and Hermione."

My heart stopped. Me and Draco Malfoy? This had to be a mistake, or just some twisted joke.

"Headmaster, I don't mean to be crass, but this has to be a joke, or a clerical error!"

"What? Didn't expect to have such a sexy partner?" Malfoy questioned.

"Don't mess with me, Malfoy. I will punch you in the face again."

"Fine- wait a minute! I'm paired with the mud...uh...muggle-born?"

"Nice save," I quipped.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy, you are paired with Ms. Granger for this class, she is Head Girl. No switch-a-roos. Now, I am aware that some of you might not like who you are partnered with but that is why over the school year you will bond over the child or children that you will get with this assignment."

"Woah woah woah woah. Children? As in more than one child?" Pansy said, dumbfounded.

"Yes, Ms. Parkinson. Some of you will have more than one child. I am not telling who, you will find out on your own. Now let me finish. The spell performed on you and your partner will make you around six months pregnant. You will experience everything that comes with a pregnancy and you have to give birth to these wonderful little bundles of joy! Isn't that great!"

"OH MERLIN, NO!" I yelped out.

"Calm down Ms. Granger! You are not really going to be giving birth. Well, I mean, you are, but just not the muggle way. It will only be two hours long, and with minimal discomfort."

I couldn't believe my parents had signed me up for this! Did they really think I was clueless enough to have unprotected sex and get pregnant? I mean, I wasn't a prude, Ron and I had done it a couple times, while we were still together, but I was totally responsible, and honestly, it wasn't mind-blowing enough to turn me into a total skank.

I must have zoned out for a while, because everyone was done bickering, and sat quietly, either angry or just stunned.

"All right!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together in excitement, "Let's get on with the spells!"

2011 A/N: Hey, sorry for the short chapter, but trust me, I WILL TRY TO UPDATE EVERY DAY! And have much longer chappies! I swear on my whole Harry Potter randomness. It's a big swear, really. Love ya, peace, bye, whatever.
-Indie

2018 A/N: omg aren't my old ANs the funniest middle school really was crazy for my personality! 12 year old me tried so hard to be like RANDOM and QUIRKY! also I know my old Ans don't make sense now w the new chapters and storylines but I couldn't erase them they were too good.