Author's Note: So I must have been on a sugar high when I wrote this. Pointless, yet perhaps entertaining, fluff and drabble. I literally cannot remember what I was doing when this was written...hmm...
Disclaimer: I own nothing, all characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Albus Dumbledore arose from his bed one morning and started his daily pacing around his study. "Good morning, Fawkes!" he exclaimed with an unnatural-looking, somewhat eerily happy grin. "Well, pip pip! The day's already begun! I think I fancy taking a stroll around the castle this morning!" Dumbledore dressed himself comfortably in his Chudley Cannons robe and hippogriff slippers, and began his stroll through Hogwarts.
He heard the noise as soon as he stepped out of his office. It sounded like a large pandemonium was occurring. "Oh, fuck!" Dumbledore exclaimed aloud. Then, realizing that he had let loose a bit of foul language, he coughed loudly, trying to cover it up. "I bet Hagrid let loose another Blast-Ended Skrewt!" Beginning to charge down to the Great Hall to defeat the skrewt, he started humming a battle tune as he went along.
Dumbledore soon came to a crowded corridor full of laughing and cheering students. He pushed through the crowd and saw McGonagall and Slughorn doing some sort of polka to "A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love." Dumbledore's first thought when he saw this was Ah damn, no skrewt! He scrutinized the pair. McGonagall was the happiest he had ever seen her, and Slughorn was whipping her around with that same stupid expression he always wore on his face. The one where he scrunches up his eyes and has that odd smile on his face. That dolt! Dumbledore thought. If only he could see how silly he looks right now! Dumbledore began giggling again, and began to clap along with the music.
Just then, Snape passed by, a glass of butterbeer in his hand and a crazed expression in his eyes. He was sporting a Quidditch World Cup t-shirt and suspenders overtop. Dumbledore almost laughed aloud, but thought it rude to ask.
"Severus! What is all this? The Horace I know isn't physically able to do that!" Dumbledore exclaimed, gesturing toward Slughorn, who was now attempting to dip McGonagall halfway through the dance.
"Albus! Join the party! Come with me!" Snape took off down the hall at top speed, his greasy hair flopping limply behind him. Dumbledore began to run after him, squinting to see Snape; the hallway was extremely crowded. As he looked at the castle walls, he could see streamers adorning them, with balloons on the ceiling. Dumbledore had a brief idea that McGonagall and Slughorn had just gotten married, but scoffing at the sheer thought of it, dismissed the idea. Suddenly, Dumbledore, still following Snape, passed a gaggle of girls that had shirts that said "We Love V" on them. Just then, Snape turned around and exclaimed, "Albus! We're almost there!"
Suddenly, Harry popped up out of the crowd, with Ron and Hermione in tow. "Hiya, sir!" Harry looked rather odd, grinning from ear to ear and sporting a t-shirt that said "You Know Who!" on it, with a large smiley face.
"Harry? What's going on?" Dumbledore exclaimed.
Harry replied, "Sir! He's here, he's finally here!" With that last note, the trio skipped away.
Now doubly curious, Dumbledore finally made his way into the Great Hall. The hall was lit up with candles that looked like dance lights, and balloons were scattered everywhere. Then, out of nowhere, Lord Voldemort appeared.
Dumbledore let out a yell. "WHY IS EVERYONE CELEBRATING? FIGHT!" He drew out his wand, but before he could say, "Expelliarmus," Voldemort engulfed Dumbledore in a hug. "Albie, old chap! You're finally here!"
"What the fuck? What the fuck is going on?" Just then, Dumbledore noticed Bellatrix. "Why is Bellatrix passing out lollipops to all the students?"
Voldemort laughed stupidly. "Albie old chap I always did love your sense of humor…you know what we're celebrating!" he said, playfully punching Dumbledore.
"Do enlighten me!" Dumbledore exclaimed.
This made Voldemort laugh even harder. "We're celebrating no more dark magic in the world."
With this, Dumbledore began guffawing loudly. This continued on for about five minutes straight. By that point, the hall had grown silent.
Slughorn emerged out of the crowd and clapped a hand on Dumbledore's back. "Albus! The man is serious! There's no more dark magic! Now there's only good! The goodness in the world will be as plentiful as dessert…that is, if Belby's left you any!" Slughorn began giggling stupidly at his own joke. Dumbledore had grown quite annoyed with him, and so he proceeded to slap him on the head. When Voldemort saw this, he grabbed Dumbledore and scolded him, saying, "Albie! No more violence! I FORGIVE YOU!" He squeezed him into another hug.
"Now, dear Dumbly," Voldemort said, giving Dumbledore a rather large glass of butterbeer, "drink up, drink up, there's plenty more where that came from."
Dumbledore reluctantly took a sip, then another, and then another. Soon enough, he found himself skipping madly around the Great Hall. He was now sporting an "I Love V" shirt proudly, and had his butterbeer in one hand and a lollipop from Bellatrix in the other. His pants were nowhere to be found, exposing his boxers with Golden Snitches all over them.
"Oh my my my, I must be on a sugar high!" Dumbledore exclaimed.
"Oh Albus I have a marvelous idea!" Slughorn yelled. "Let's crowd surf!"
So with that, the two thrust themselves into the awaiting crowd of staff, students, and ex-Dark wizards. Slughorn was dropped on the ground within the first ten seconds, but everyone seemed quite happy with passing Dumbledore along. "Albus, Albus, Albus!" everyone chanted.
"Albus. Albus. ALBUS!" Suddenly, Dumbledore woke up. He found himself in his study, being shaken awake by a very nervous-looking McGonagall.
"Minerva. What? You-you were dancing with Horace..."
McGonagall frowned. "One too many butterbeers last night again, Albus."